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yankydoo

Chatty Member
Hey. I have dated solidly for two years and my gut reaction tells me he is having second thoughts. He has either changed his mind on his own accord or met someone else.

I would call him or if you can't face doing that, send him a message and say you have noticed he has been quiet, feel something has changed and ask him to be honest with you about his feelings.

Maybe some other people will think you should give him time or some space but given how keen he was and the sudden U-turn, I think you should just ask him. I find the not knowing is the worst. Even if the answer is not what you want to hear, at least you have an answer and can process and move on.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Edited to add that our gut reaction/6th sense is often spot on. I have held off saying things to men for the fear of coming crazy or seeming too keen. But I've been right most of the time and regretted not saying anything sooner.
 
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Swipeupyouguys

Swipeupyouguys

VIP Member
CelinaRoger said:
Morning
I need some advice..
Me and my husband have been together almost 10 years, married 6, and have two children.
We have lived together the whole time.
Since my youngest was born (almost 6) my husband keeps touching me sexually in the night while i am asleep, I wake up to him with his hands on my vagina etc, sometimes inside but this hasn't happened for a long time as far as I'm aware.
Years ago when it first started I use to wake up frozen scared and just lay still and see what happened, he would always act as if he was being careful not to wake me, will carefully put my clothes back how they were etc. He does not make the effort with me while im awake, he wont kiss me etc before bed, he will wait till im sleeping. I hate it.
So we have had huge arguments about this, I dont like it, I dont consent. Relationships been very rocky for this reason.
So in the last year we had a huge argument about 8 months ago I said if it happened again I would call the police and that he would have to move out, he told me if it came to that i would be moving out and he would be staying put with the children as "his presence makes more of an impact". It all stopped. Things got better, we brought a house together in September with inheritance from my family.
Since the house went through and contacts were exchanged, it has been happening again, almost every other night, I'm getting barely any sleep, I'm anxious and stressed out. What the hell do I do?
He doesn't listen to me, he has no respect for me, also in this time period since it has ramped up again I've been through an awful termination due to medical reasons, and I've woken up this morning after being frozen with him touching me last night, and not said a word to him, and unless I bring it up he won't acknowledge it.
I feel like I can't leave as I can't afford the house on my own, and also all things aside he is a fantastic dad to our children.
I also confided in my mum about it and she basically told me he is a great man and to get over it so I feel I have no support and will be made put to be the bad guy.

Also to add we moved 6 hours away from both our home towns so bar my parents and a few friends we have no one here.
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This post made me so angry, i am furious this is happening to you.

This man is NOT a good man despite what your parents may tell you. He is raping you in your sleep and that is horrific, I am so so sorry that you are enduring this.

It is my experience that we often are kinder to others than we are to ourselves, if your best friend, a family member or (in the future) one of your children confessed this was happening to them (with their future spouse) what would you tell them to do? Stick it out as he's a good man in most other areas - I doubt it.

Please go to your local citizens advice bureau and seek free legal advice and support about how to proceed with getting him out of your house and out of your life. What he is doing is against the law, men have been convicted of raping their wives for doing this. You should not have to endure this torture at the hands of someone who is meant to care for you and put your needs above his own. What if he did it to one of your children next?!

Please, do not tell him you are doing any of this, leave your mobile behind in case he is tracking it, cover all bases just in case. Remove relevant searches from your browser history every time you log off.

You stated bought that house you and your family live in with your inheritance money. That is your money, not joint money no matter if you are married. Do not believe him if he tells you otherwise.

You write he behaved well (and didn't rape you in your sleep) while the house was being purchased and now he feels safe to return to his normal abhorrent behaviour thinking he has feet under the table in a house? No, that is unacceptable.

It is safe to do I would get a handyperson in to put a strong lock and bolt on your spare room door and sleep in there until you can get him out.

He has done this - not you. His actions have caused harm and the breakdown of his marriage/family.

None of this is your fault, anything that happens is a consequence of his actions. Please be careful and please get away from him.
 
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chocdip

VIP Member
LibbyCharley1234 said:
They're scum yes but you surely pity her for the loss of her daughter? Nobody has ever said she's completely innocent.. nobody should ever revel in someone's loss of anything, be it partner or daughter.
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I've already said before and you've quoted me before yes we should give the same energy for ashley as we give to saf with regards to their daughter they both lost her and for that i feel heartbroken for them both!

nothing more yes they both set up the go fund me both done awful things

so no i don't feel sorry for saf i've been on this thread since day one not jumped in on thread 24 plus so if you go back the beginning you will see my opinion on saf wasn't always this, my opinion is based on what i've seen from both of them

so please nobody come at me again when i say i feel sad that they lost their daughter but i feel more sadder that she didn't die with dignity and her name/foundation is being tainted by these pair of morons
 
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Cucumber and eggs

Cucumber and eggs

VIP Member
Thank you for the thread title šŸ™Œ

Going to pose topless, bang my chest and roar like a lion, shouting let's go champs!!!
I just feel this is the best way to help children with cancer, rather than donating any money from the GFM that you hardworking people donated to!!
 
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Be More Pacific

Be More Pacific

VIP Member
What a bizarre thread. If you weren't a VIP Tattler, I'd say it was all a complete wind up.

Not sure it's a great move getting involved with someone who's allegedly suicidal, even if you are desperate for a shag, would be my only comment.
 
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chocdip

VIP Member
restingbtcface said:
My cousins grandma recently passed away and her grave is near Azaylias. She went to visit the grave on Motherā€™s Day. There was a party at azaylias grave, cars blocking the drive way in, chairs everywhere, loud music playing. My friend was understandably annoyed. They think theyā€™re so famous people wonā€™t mind.
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Can totally believe it, not like they haven't posted themselves drinking and partying at her grave before šŸ¤· i feel so sorry for family members who have just lost loved ones šŸ’” and having to go to the same graveyard to "quietly" reflect
 
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SassyRiv77

SassyRiv77

Active member
I also wanted to add I worked in a pub Years ago and a guy in there chased me for weeks, I wasnā€™t interested in dating at all but he was super persistent. Eventually I was flattered and gave in and he took me for a lovely meal and pursued me with real talk of a future. The week of our 3rd date his messages became almost non existent and he cancelled saying he had a ā€œcoldā€. I text back asking if that was an excuse and he sent me a horrible text about me being a clingy possessive freak and how dare I accuse him of lying. The night we were meant to go for our date I was out with friends consoling myself and he walked in hand in hand with another girl. Said it all.
 
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BettyCrockerr

BettyCrockerr

VIP Member
So you met your boyfriend in March - 5 months ago? 4 weeks after your relationship with your fiancƩ ended? And in that time there was also another guy on the scene who is now causing trouble between the two of you and somehow your landlord is involved?

thatā€™s an awful lot of drama going on. No wonder your boyfriend is taking a step back.

honestly it all just sounds like far too much too soon. Thereā€™s no way you are over your fiancĆ© - itā€™s only been a few months, you need time and space to figure out where you are now and get back to ground zero in your own life.

I canā€™t understand why your landlord would have your boyfriends number? Whatā€™s the connection there? And how does your landlord know this other chap whoā€™s been causing hassle? What kind of stuff is being said?

im not sure I understand why your boyfriend canā€™t talk to you on the phone while heā€™s staying with family. Iā€™m sure he can go somewhere private to make a call or go out for a walk or to a coffee shop etc? That sounds very odd to me.

You Canā€™t convince him to do anything- if youā€™ve contacted him/told him how you feel/that you want to talk etc and heā€™s not interested and is saying no - then thatā€™s it. Pestering him and trying to force it wonā€™t help.

take A huge step back. Leave him alone for a bit, let him have some time. If itā€™s meant to be, if heā€™s really in love with you etc he will reach out but if he doesnā€™t or if heā€™s telling you itā€™s over and heā€™s done then you have to listen to that and just accept that whatever it was, itā€™s finished.
 
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LibbyCharley1234

Member
Totally off topic from the money but... Did any of you watch him in ex on the beach? When that Thalisa (if that's how you spell it) was his ex? He was a right waste of spaff on that. He didn't want her then her ex came out if I remember rightly and all of a sudden he wanted her. I don't like Saf, I think she should be in a home for that fucking steak, but I 100% he's gonna try get her back the smallest sign she's doing okay without him and he'll throw Azaylia in her face...

I had a stillborn baby with my ex. He was an absolute CUNT and I had her on my own. He'd shag about on a weekend but I was SO mentally unstable because of her death, that I pushed that aside and took what he gave me during the week because he was the only link to her. It was toxic but I was not doing well. In with someone amazing bow, we've two lovely kids and I see how toxic that was BUT... I can see how much Saff hurts about Azaylia and it's awful, thats why I feel a bit more sorry for her with that and now, she's lost her only proper (for want of a better word) link to her. I genuinely think she'll do well and he'll fucking use A as a way to get to Saff. She's done wrong but she really deserves to move on and get on with her life. I want to know where the money is, I do. But I really wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. I had a placenta and growth restriction, which is completely different. Watching your baby dying of cancer.... The thought of my two going through it... That's horrific.

I hate they're milking it, but I really do feel that he's worse out of the two. She's just slack
 
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Rebby123

VIP Member
Mumofgirls said:
Ashley definitely influenced Saf massively when it came to dealing with her griefā€¦so what if she wanted to spend time in bedā€¦feeling all of her emotionsā€¦her precious baby girl had died!
i know if I lost one of my daughters I would not be in the right frame of mind to get up everyday and go the gym or go on a bike ride! It used to make
really sad when she used to feel the need to explain herself in her stories! Since they have split you can see a difference in herā€¦l think Ashley used to make her feel bad or ashamed for not wanting to get up everyday and go on a 10 mile run! Her 1st Motherā€™s Day without her little girl was always going to be so so hardā€¦I wouldnā€™t have been able to even get out of bedā€¦she should have had so much support around her that day! Donā€™t get me wrong I do think they both did some very wrong things in the last weeks of their babies life,and did get products and money off the back of thatā€¦but itā€™s obvious Ashley completely alienated her from mum so he had control over her..I think she went along with everything because he was her biggest connection to Azayliaā€¦I hope she finds herself again now she is away from him..I do think he hasnā€™t dealt with his own grief and it will hit him like a ton of bricks one dayā€¦you can only keep going like that for so long
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I messaged her on insta saying she is better off without him and she replied with a organe heart so she clearly agrees
 
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Barbie2020

Barbie2020

VIP Member
Missgobby124 said:
So as Iā€™m sure many of you have seen, Iā€™ve been through quite a lot of silly dilemmas lately. But I appreciate the advice you all give and love being able to share on here anonymously. I canā€™t really talk to anyone else about it so always run to tattle. Anyhoo, Iā€™m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. Heā€™s honestly the best and makes me so happy. Heā€™s always telling me he loves me and no one else has ever made me feel so loved. Today we met up outside at the local park, and he was searching on Instagram and just by the smallest chance I saw the name of his ex. I of course ( I have a big mouth) mentioned it. I said ā€œwhy was you searching up your ex?ā€ he immediately got defensive and started to say things like ā€œjust go homeā€. after a few minutes he started saying to me how he prob searched her ages ago. Then he said how he probably showed her to his colleague at work. (, wtf? Who even does that lol thatā€™s weird too in my opinion is this just a guy thing?) I just feel kinda struck by it. He always tells me heā€™s so into me and when I saw that it broke me. Am I overreacting? Is this something you wouldnā€™t be upset over? Am I just being silly? Ah honestly I know itā€™s such a tiny thing. He searched up his ex. He acknowledged that he hurt me before we said our goodbyes and said heā€™s fully over her and doesnā€™t even think of her. Itā€™s just so weird. Would you be upset by your partner searching their ex? Sorry for always sharing these types of thingsšŸ˜”
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I think you probably need to be on your own for a bit and try and find some happiness without relying on anyone else. Itā€™s not normal for this much drama at the beginning of a relationship. I think youā€™d struggle the longer you stayed together.

Life is way too short.
 
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gigilouxx

gigilouxx

VIP Member
lady leshurr defo isnā€™t chasing clout sheā€™s been known for yearssss does no one remember the queens speeches šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
 
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C

chocdip

VIP Member
juststatingthetruthx555 said:
So hard considering poor Andrea done a lot of the stuff in preparation for the baby even before she was poorly!!
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Yes exactly this, where were any of the cain clan when Andrea was waiting patiently outside the window for a glance of Azaylia when she was born.

Where were the cain clan when Andrea had bought and set up a nursery for Azaylia

Where were the cain clan when Azaylia and Saffiya needed bringing home from hospital

where were the cain clan when they made fame and fortune off Azaylia ? oh right there the bunch of them
 
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nichew

nichew

VIP Member
Noonoosanne2 said:
I just think itā€™s quite triggering children wearing orange for a deceased child how are they meant to understand the poor things
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Call me old fashioned but I donā€™t think kids should have the burden of knowing about childhood cancer and knowing about a baby they donā€™t know from Adam dieing
 
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