There’s one on there from some poor cow who had a traumatic birth six months ago with a 3 to 4 degree tear. She’s still very sore so her caring sharing husband has suggested anal sex instead! The general consensus is to tell him to fuck off. One poster however says that her and DH do it every couple of months as ’a treat’. A treat???!!! I obviously lead a very dull life as my idea of a treat is an M&S fresh cream eclair.
 
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nobotoxta

VIP Member
Coo- eee! I'm.baaaack. I had my surgery yesterday and despite being warned it would be incredibly horrific and 7 hours long amd I'd wake up with drains and lines and be in ICU which had me sobbing like a fool; it actually was much simpler than they'd thought and only took 3 hours. I did have to stay in an intensive bed for the night but I'm actually home already and all looks very good.
I've eaten many upfs since my return and have been inbibing opiates like a northern addict -oh was also not private so have failed on the svelte and pale mn look.
Bloody relieved though
 
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My husband sold our stairs for cocaine, try and be more sensitive OP I can't help having fat calves.

I would LTB but I was upstairs when he sold them and now I can't get down.
 
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Wackie Jeaver

VIP Member
Also OT, but Psycho Sootie (my profile pic) was pts today. He'd had a terminal diagnosis but did brilliantly for the last 4 months - slightest signs of distress last night, so we did the deed. Much missed, we are discussing whether he will be in feline heaven or hell... He was 14 and a half, and had a bloody lovely life very well lived.
 
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FrannyGallops

VIP Member
How much bread have you eaten today?
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Can you imagine living these people?

’Two bread based meals in one day?! But I suppose we are on holiday, after all. Let’s push the boat out and split a slice of Hovis twixt breakfast and lunch’

‘But Mary! Nothing compares to the yeasty treats you bake with your own fair hand!’
 
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KittyGhosts

Well-known member
I've just started MN thread after name changing cos I'm having a shit 24 hours and wanted some quick hive feedback.

Yesterday morning my lovely 18 year old lad was knocked down on a zebra crossing by a cunt driving a van. He's in hospital with a skull fracture and we haven't heard anything back from the police. It's been a surreal and horrible 24 hours.
 
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nobody has ever been deeply nasty and bitchy to me on the threads I’m on over here. I’ve had some deeply vile things said to me on MN. 🤷🏻‍♀️
When my dad was dying with lung cancer I posted about it on MN. Some delightful cunt told me he deserved it for smoking and she had absolutely no sympathy for him. She was deleted but not before she made me cry.
 
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CrimsonCountess

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My favourite post of the day
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Nominating this for the next thread title - Mumsnet #44 Did you mean to come across so condescending and rude? Yes.
 
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FeloniousMonk

Chatty Member
What the hell was this ridiculous twat expecting in a shop called Home Bargains - minor royals and members of the aristocracy browsing for new yachts?

Home bargains hell.
36 replies
ilovepixie · Today 14:44
Just visited Home Bargains for the first time. What a horrible shop. Full of the great unwashed and plastic tat! People standing around talking, you can’t get past them. The queuing system is mad! Everyone stands up one aisle and then goes to a till when it’s free. What wrong with queuing normally behind each individual till.
You may save a few pence but you’ll loose your sanity!”
Slag off home bargains and I'll fuckin kill ya
 
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orangehead

VIP Member
I’m going to leave my husband, let’s all vote on if I posted this story on Mumsnet what would happen:

I said to my husband this evening I need raid the cupboard for a good snack because I want to have a Dr Pepper later. He said why aren’t you having it with dinner. I said I’m having sushi, he said so? I said you can’t have sushi and Dr Pepper it doesn’t go. He looked at me like I have early onset dementia and said drinks don’t have to go with food. Obviously I can’t live with someone who thinks Dr Pepper goes with sushi so I’m leaving.

Let’s put the Mumsnet responses in the order we think they will happen

Ducks in a row
Fat cow drinking Dr Pepper
Teeth will fall out
Are you a child because only children drink pop
What is pop *head tilt*
Shit hot lawyer
Could he be autistic
People don’t need snacks
Well done eating like a Japanese person because they’re all thin
He’s controlling
You’re controlling
I wish my husband was here to be controlling but he’s dead
My 8 month old loves sushi, he’s very adventurous like that and is hand rolling his own as he’s very advanced
 
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Serene Serena

VIP Member
I'm sobbing and shaking and on hold to 101 as I type. Some scamming wanker has ordered a £800 Apple watch using my Very account. I can't talk to anyone in real life as I am NC with everyone and live rurally.

Back in the real world, I got an email thanking me for my order, so I immediately rang their fraud line, the order was cancelled, I've changed all my passwords everywhere, run a malware scan on my laptop and phone and now I'm having a cuppa. The scamming wanker, let's call him Kevin, had also placed orders for another 3 Apple watches, a couple of high end tablets and cameras and a shitload of jewellery, all pending and not despatched. Very had been trying to call me about all these orders but I never answer if I don't recognise the number.

If any of you have a Very account, it might be worth checking for activity. Apparently Kevin also placed a £6.50 order for a novelty Christmas jumper which has been delivered to somewhere in Colchester :eek: Fraud team man said that's how these scammers work. Tattlers, I wouldn't mind, but the jumper was in a size 18.
 
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