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Beep Beep bitches!

Thank you for all your kind messages. We were able to get out. Our house is still standing. We are very thankful.

My lad's home from hospital!

Recovering well and enjoying being waited on by his older siblings. He's done really well out of it tbh. Me and his father both bought him a pair of Doc Martens each plus several jumpers to replace the charity shop one that was cut in two by the paramedics.

His mates have been visiting like Magi with random gifts and we're all so glad he's home and safe.

I can’t tell anyone this IRL, because they don’t know what a financial disaster zone I used to be, but I am finally debt free for the first time in forever (mortgage aside), after paying off my credit card today.
(Ok, it probably won’t last <nervous side eye at 15 year old car>, but I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts). I spent years struggling financially, due to poor MH and shitty jobs and while my job doesn’t pay well and I’m still fairly frugal, it’s allowed me to set a little bit aside to achieve this.
As you were

Not to derail the thread or start any arguments but its not hating on trans for wishing women’s spaces and rights to be protected and for people to be called ‘hateful’ for having such wishes is the problem

They're all so gullible. Justine will do anything to drive some engagement over a dull January weekend.

In other news, baby Basket finally arrived.

Morning all, in bits today as my wonderful MIL died suddenly last night. We weren't MN approved NC, I adored her and she loved me like a daughter. So bloody sad

New thread time, title thanks to @ChampagneBox

Kindly, you all need a reminder of Mumsnets current registration rules as compiled by @bread-pitt

- 3 months of pay stubs to prove your 6-figure salary
- your weight/BMI to prove your teeny-tiny figure (must be verified by three independent doctors)
- proof that your MIL is a “narc”
- proof that you are NC with above-mentioned MIL
- 6 months of grocery receipts to prove you cook everything from scratch with no UPFs
- affidavits from three tradesmen that you did not let them shit in your toilet (notarized and sealed)
- photographic evidence of your teen son’s hollow legs
- at least 3 receipts for sister wives dresses
- property tax record to prove you live rurally - with parking diagram

Should you be able to provide all of the above within 3.7 seconds, you will be invited to a live interview to demonstrate your head tilt and tinkly laugh. You will then be tested on MN posting skills. You will be automatically approved if you don’t read the OP and immediately respond with a question that’s already answered in the OP. You must use “country lines”, “we’ve lost sight of”, “kindly”, “I could never eat a whole peanut!”, “who’s George Clooney?”, and “I’ve just shown this to my DH” At least 4 times in your post

Break the rules and we'll fucking kill you

Re-visiting a Style & Beauty thread I had saved about comfy clothes for long flights and…..

Thread title suggestion:

Tinkly of laugh, single of chin, not yet french but at least I'm thin.

God you lot are funny! Thank you for making me laugh, had to have my 17 year old cat pts this afternoon and was very sad (sadder than I expected for all sorts of complicated reasons, but full on sobbing at the poor vet must have not been nice for her)

MrsPiggleWiggle said:

Serious question and I’m not trying to be goady …but what do you spend your £550 on in relation to your illness?

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You are being goady, but I will answer you. It's absolutely none of your fucking business! Now fuck off

But Henry is a dickhead who will pretend to follow you into a room, while instead throwing himself on to his side and getting wedged behind a door.

While still smiling.

Bastard

Iamthebosun said:

I think all threads should be answered like that now.

Yesterday someone asked where to get Nescafé toffee nut latte from and someone replies saying b&m have that flavour. BORING. She should've said 'B&M. NOW.'.

My child wasn't chosen as the lead in a play - Headteacher. Now.

My husband is late coming home - solicitor. Now.

My MIL wants to visit for 20 minutes once a year - Hitman. Now.

I have been invited to a wedding - £850 sack dress. Now.

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Mumsnet #64. New thread. NOW

Geetbo said:

I could legitimately do a “I saw my husband sucking off a man” thread. The fact that the man was me would not be mentioned.

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GET YOUR DICKS IN A ROW!

What's with the use of the word "think" rather than just saying something that is already identifiable anyway.

"I am in my 40s, think 43"
"I work in a competitive profession, think law"
"I have eyes, think two"

Daft suggestion by this poster - OP is worried about a relative living in Houston who she can't get hold of, and amongst the helpful contact details for local police this absolute melt thinks the OP should ask a random actor to go and do a welfare check

Serene Serena said:

I've yet to see evidence of this so-called Ozempic face. Yes, Sharon Osbourne looks particularly dreadful, but a) she's ancient b) she's had shitloads of facial surgery and c) she's a foul woman and her face reflects that - nothing to do with Ozempic.

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I've lost a shed load of weight (I'm talking a small person's worth) over the last couple of years on Ozempic/Wegovy. I'm sorry (not sorry) to disappoint the MN teeny tinies but I'm post menopausal, I have very little loose skin, I don't look gaunt or older, I didn't have debilitating side effects and I look and feel fucking fabulous. I have done loads of heavy weightlifting though to build muscle.

It's released me from DECADES of insane diet misery, food noise, binge eating and yo-yoing up and down the scale. It's given me the time and space to make genuine changes without white-knuckling my way through yet another madly restrictive diet and the corresponding binge and self-hatred.

I have a great life, I'm loved and happy but I bloody wish it had been invented when I was younger so I wouldn't have wasted so much of my life on the diet treadmill, hating myself and suffering. They don't have a clue and if someone begrudges me my weight loss through "cheating" then fuck them. I've more than paid my dues.

I needed to get that off my chest!

Quite the picture painted here by the unfortunate order of threads: