mother pukka : Most liked Posts

The bias against cosleeping is quite a western thing. Globally, the majority of mothers cosleep.

I think there is this western idea of a perfect baby as one which is a “good sleeper” safely asleep in their stokke cot in their Scandi beige nursery at 7pm listening to gentle white noise from a stuffed sheep. And people beat themselves up because they cannot get their babies to do this. But some babies are just non sleepers or co-sleepers only and if you’ve had one you realise it’s just how they are wired.

I’ve always found that in Asia nobody goes on about babies being good sleepers or asks if they are going through the night. It is just assumed that they are bad sleepers and will cosleep and wake in the night. I much prefer that - takes a lot of the pressure and unrealistic expectations off.

I always say that if I ever split from DH I wouldn’t bother getting a new husband. Maybe I’d have a boyfriend or a FWB situation. But I’d never live with a man again. I’d never cook, clean, wash another man’s pants, share finances, compromise on what colour to paint the bedroom or what tiles to put in the hallway, etc. Fuck that.

LeonoreGuest said:

I completely agree with this. She seems manic and unhinged and desperate. I hope it isn't the man that she feels pressured into being a certain way for.

Click to expand...

I think a lot of the pressure is brought on herself. The past year especially shes rebranded and sold herself as something new on social media. She’s trying desperately to keep up appearances and stick to the narrative that everything is so much better than it’s ever been with such a supportive chin at her side to play happy mosaic families with. I think she is even trying to gas light herself that things are great as a coping mechanism. But I bet under the facade she is deeply embarrassed at how everything has played out and upset herself at where her life is heading.

Shes isolated herself from Polly and basically told her in no uncertain terms that she’s now redundant now chinny is in the picture and now ‘her person’. Polly has probably distanced herself and has every right to. She probably deep down misses the security and safety Matt could provide and is coming to realise that sex isn’t everything and that there are a lot of attributes her new ‘person’ mc chinny is missing. She’s probably also struggling being very new to navigating co parenting and shared custody and the emptiness that comes with not having your kids half the week… all this amongst a new partner you don’t really know yet, new children that aren’t biologically yours and house sharing with them, and a brand new baby that needs your undivided attention.

That’s an awful lot of changes for one person to happen in such a short space of time. I think the denial she presents with and the constant posting is a symptom of her loneliness and inability to cope. I hope she is getting the help she needs from someone she can be vulnerable and honest with.

I think I’m going to write a book called ‘chinterbelly’ about an instamum who takes the wrong turn in life and discovers the underbelly of getting into a maternal thrupple with a spicy nanny and a bloke offa hinge as means of navigating the post maternal juncture. Will there be a pot of gold at the end of the maternal rainbow for our brave suffragette or will there be visceral sadness?

The tagline is hilarious. Yes Anna. You’ve really dispelled all the myths around blended families by thinking with your fanny instead of your brain and getting up the duff with someone you’ve known for barely two minutes before the ink is even dry on your divorce (I mean, are they even divorced yet?)

What a fucking bellend.

skronkywildcat said:

Next thread title - it has to be.

Click to expand...

Chin the Nightgarden with Fukka Pukka

Who pushes their baby around London in the middle of a cold snap with a magazine in the basket with themselves on the cover

That absolutely never happened and why would she even pretend to talk to her daughter like they’re on a regional manager’s away day?

I think WFH is doing massive harm to workers and to the economy. People want to see their work colleagues, have some bants, go for a drink after work, nip out to Boots at lunchtime, gossip in the canteen or bogs...interact. Just saying morning to the security guy at the entrance and a quick chat with the cleaner as she’s emptying your bin is all part of the fabric that makes up your working day.

WFH is great if you’ve got kids and childcare is an issue, but for most getting out of the house is a blessing. Having a reason to get up, get showered, put your slap on, your “work clothes” and listening to the radio in your car or reading a book on the bus/train is actually incredibly cathartic for many as it forms the ebb and flow of their life. Yeah we all have those days when an extra hour in bed would be bliss or just slinging on your leggings, not having a shower and spending that two hours you would normally spend getting ready and commuting catching up on Tattle, but ultimately we are, on the whole, creatures of habit and we require physical human interaction.

Of the people I’ve spoken to about WFH some enjoyed it initially but all have said “I’m ready to go back in now”, a little bit like when people are at the end of their holiday. They are fatigued by it.
Imagine being 22 and WFH, I couldn’t have handled that, I loved all those things I mentioned above and have made lifelong friends from work colleagues, you just can’t do that when you’re WFH. My friends kid is just about to start an apprenticeship with one of the big accountants. It would have meant leaving home, a move to a city and going into the office, but now he’s been told it will be remote until at least January. That has really pissed him off, he’s essentially under house arrest, at his parents, for another 5 months, having missed out on the summer of fun after his A levels. Ultimately it’s not good for people’s mental wellbeing.

Flexible working is really only for parents, nobody else has the excuse to work outside of the usually hours, you can’t call in and say, I’ve got a massive hangover this morning so just gonna get a fry up neck some ibuprofen and I’ll check my emails later. Parents can, they call up say little Tommy has a bug and childcare won’t take him so I’ll have to be home and I’ll look at my emails if I get chance, nobody can say anything to them.

I agree Covid has shown that WFH is possible for many who were told it was impossible but I would disagree that the same level of work is getting done. Have any of you had to call your bank, your insurance company in-fact any service industry where a call centre is involved? My experience this last 5 months has been awful. I’ve listened to more plinky plonky hold music in the last 5 months than I have in my entire life. Customer service levels are crap.

So Anna, the instamum, is campaigning for parents and as was previously said, the biggest beneficiaries of any change will be the highly paid professionals not the low paid warehouse workers. So whilst yes her message is a good one, there’s little hope of this across the spectrum and the privileged will yet again be the winners.

Sorry for wading in to the threads and I'm sure you've discussed this before, but does she ever stop to think that her endless bleating about the horrors of parenting might not actually be helping?

I am in a very family friendly job, and 90% of the team have heavy duty caring responsibilities whether that is an ill or disabled family member, babies, or teens requiring a lot of hands on parenting. Everyone gets on with it. Yes they may mention it or let off steam but no-one is making the song and dance that she does, or portraying their lives as endless drudgery and misery. And people are dealing with much more difficult issues than she is - learning difficulties, substance abuse, severe disability.

I have teens and a newly disabled parent and tbh my full time work is a welcome relief where I can be good at what I do (unlike home where it is a shitshow lol) and I don't particularly want my managers to be looking at me thinking my family life is hell (because it's really not and I cope just fine) I want to come in and do my job and be judged on my contributions.

I honestly wish she'd shut the fuck up - she's one of the most privileged elites in the world. Is that my internalised misogyny talking?

This is all such bollocks. She’s employed a nanny who’s on social media, posting photos of her baby while she’s supposed to be working.

A “nanny” who sells naked photos quite publicly.

I don’t care about middle class benign neglect, I can guarantee that if she was working for the majority of families, she’d have been sacked on the spot for those things.

Matt and chins ex wife cannot be happy that spicy poppins is around when their children are in the house.

Anna is a dickhead. She’s always been a dickhead. But this nanny situation is the stupidest thing she’s ever done.

Anna - your nanny who sells naked photos is sharing pictures of you BABY on her Instagram page where she predominantly talks about sex. You have no idea what fucking weirdos are following her and looking at your child. Protect your child. You are insane.

Here we are. From the archives

TatRat said:

We need a new thread team. Suggestions for a title please

Click to expand...

Like someone already suggested, I love ‘Chin the Nightgarden with Makka Pakka’

Anna has not done one thing that's in Lola's interest since she was born. From the holiday immediately post birth, to PR events, Pub visits (outside), House of Commons and now even the nanny. Nothing has been with the little ones' consideration, nothing.

It's just the Anna show.

Remove the stigma of not knowing how long you’ve been pregnant for

Yeah I’m with you @EddieBeds It’s good to hear everyone’s opinion on the flexible working issue. It’s clear it’s not a one size fits all scenario and people take different things from their work.

Anna’s campaign is a start and it has merit but I think the fact she has a “cause” means she’s untouchable. As someone said above, people are assuming she’s some kind of charity worker. She’s not, she has a cause and that cause has opened numerous doors and financial opportunities for her and all her family.

I went back to the start of her Instagram. She was 33 then and her account from the get go is heavily curated. This wasn’t an accidental trip into the world of selling your motherhood. It strikes me that she was just another instamoma reeling out the same old shit, showing arty photos of flat lays and “kicks”, Starbucks coffee cups, need wine/gin/Prosecco, mummy merch and memes about not sleeping. Maybe that was revolutionary 5 years ago

She comes across to me as a very privileged MC white London mum, living the beautiful London life in media. I mean who has the time on their commute to/from work, with their kid in tow, to take arty photos with urban backdrops? Has she always got someone with her to take those photos or does she take a tripod to work?

Also the lovely midwife St Clemmie features heavily in her early posts. Women supporting women...until they come to Tattle and start slating them eh?

I know I sound like some jealous old troll but the truth is I’m just fatigued by this Instagram bullshit. She’s been freelance most of her working life, freelance gives you flexibility but also means you have to make hay while the sunshine’s so it’s a tough one to juggle with kids. Having a regular job gives you maternity benefits you don’t get when you’re working for yourself, I think she’s found this out the hard way given that she was back “at work” two weeks after her youngest was born, that would not happen if you were a salaried employee.

I find her stuff like university politics, she’s jumping from one bandwagon to another and throwing in the odd swear word...how radical.

I know for many women this “mum chat” feels open and honest, many can relate because they have the same thoughts and feelings. This is a generation of bloggers and floggers who see every aspect of life as an opportunity to write/talk about every aspect of “female” life, from periods to miscarriages, from childbirth to PND from shitty nappies to tantrums. That’s not in itself a bad thing and it would be really refreshing if it was just that but what they are actually doing is engaging to reel women in to flog them stuff. That’s not feminism that’s the absolute opposite, it’s taking advantage of women at their most vulnerable.

I know that in the next 5-10 years when these women start experiencing the peri-menopause that they will jump on that too. We will have the “too hot to handle” and “why my husband irritates me” memes. It’s just women selling to women because we have more trust and respect because we all go through these things and we believe they can empathise.

I’d much rather come on here and talk to real “anonymous” people about their experiences knowing they are talking about them and not lining their pockets. THIS is refreshing, real and raw and I personally genuinely appreciate hearing other people’s views and experiences.

Okgolightly said:

Probably wondering how he got from a child free holiday in Thailand last year to this

Click to expand...

I’m still grossed out by the fact he was going to Thailand by himself. There’s only one reason a bloke goes to Thailand alone, and it isn’t to explore the beaches and culture.

I am randomly friends with Matt's new girlfriend. Very different to Anna, actually cool and laid back. Has a proper job, normal life and isn't a loon.

scarey said:

New maternal juncture alert! She's back to the Sunday night graveyard shift at Heart this week.

Place your bets now on how many times we hear the words 'parental paradox' this week. She's going to needs a whole lot of holding.

Click to expand...

“No one talks about how complex it feels to come back from maternity leave” - Pretty sure they do…. A conversation I have had with nearly all mum friends in fact.

All these influencers climbing on the ‘adolescence’ bandwagon to help their ‘smartphone free childhood’ campaigns when they have literally monetized their kid for everything they can.

So many are guilty of it and my god it’s preachy and so hypocritical!