CausticYoda
VIP Member
Inaccessible jungle my arse. It was a piece of piss ten years ago when Yoda Jnr was born, doubt it's got worse in the interim.
Look, it's fucking November, the weather's shit and you had a baby like a week ago. Stick your pyjamas on, fire up Rivals on Disney+, get some Hobnobs and tea and chill the fuck out.
Look, it's fucking November, the weather's shit and you had a baby like a week ago. Stick your pyjamas on, fire up Rivals on Disney+, get some Hobnobs and tea and chill the fuck out.
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
‘i think we might be remarkable’
of course we all knew this would be the most smug nauseating divorce ever but FUCK ME
of course we all knew this would be the most smug nauseating divorce ever but FUCK ME
missbct
VIP Member
Oh fuck off Anna. Women in Gaza are giving birth surrounded by death and destruction and aren’t standing in their pants faux pouting and looking off to the side smirking wondering about how miraculous they are. Billions of women across the history of time have given birth, most of them in deplorable ancient times, or in poverty, or in third world countries with limited sanitation - unlike you, with your hedge fund Jimmy Hill paying for your private maternity services. Just fuck right off!thank god our GLFS has made a new narcissistic post so we can stop arguing and focus on the important thing which is Anna being the cringiest person on earth
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HattieJakes
Well-known member
What is this fawning behaviour? They do not know this man. Madness.
pennypinchpam
VIP Member
To all you plebs going on about how you couldn’t move for weeks after your section etc it’s because your didn’t have a MeDiCaL TeAm! As Anna, fiancé of big chin 24/7 hedge fund lawyer fish, would say, you’re not pathetic, you’re just poor.
maytoseptember
VIP Member
Sharing is one thing. It’s OK to talk about it, demystify it and say you’re totally relieved you did it.
Videoing yourself in a hospital gown, cupping your “bump” and giggling is just bizarre to me.
I’m not saying women should be weeping and full of shame, you just don’t need to be an edgelord about it. Because that’s how it comes across to me in the truest sense of the world - seeking attention by behaving in a way some people might find shocking or offensive.
pennypinchpam
VIP Member
“My ex bad at the sex, Breton loves my muff so I’m up the duff” should be the next thread title
You better werk
Chatty Member
As someone who works in maternity there is no "team" that would sign you off for a) keeping your baby in a car seat that long or b) having your premmie newborn around multiple children and people.
She talks some shit
She talks some shit
Andsotobed
New member
I completely get the importance of good nourishment postpartum but the smugness of that post from the Food Doula really jars at this time of year particularly. A carousel of middle class white women who they have 'nourished' with £500 boxes of food feels very off when lots of people are choosing between heating and eating this winter.
Attachments
Why has it become such a thing to jabber on about your sex life? Maybe I am a withered old prude but I just find it so cringe. No one cares. No one cares about your vibrators or your sex life or your orgasms. People have been having sex since the dawn of time without needing to hear about it from tedious fuckwits on social media.
You better werk
Chatty Member
Feral is right, I'd be fucking FUMING. They've been together a YEAR. I've got sauces in my fridge that I've had longer
pennypinchpam
VIP Member
The nanny’s abortion anniversary post is such a sordid beg for klout, it fits right into Anna’s playbook. Pro choice aside, it’s a real dickhead insensitive post as going through such an experience is harrowing for most women who make that choice for themselves for many different reasons and it may the best decision for them and their circumstances but also a very difficult decision. To make light of it by making stupid content eating crisps and bleeting about how “I’m so happy” screams “aren’t I shocking! Give me attention!” and shits on the large majority who struggle emotionally with it for long after. Anna, non spicy nanny and everyone in the shitehouse chin circus are deplorable.
ewarwoowar
New member
The ‘I’ve not danced since I was 12’ is absolute total and utter bullsh1t…..I went to uni with her……she was always on the dance floor trying to be centre of attention!!!
HattieJakes
Well-known member
SheLeft
VIP Member
She's always up for any excuse to get her heaving chest in the shot.
I predict they will get married in the next few months before the baby is born. Anna will change her surname to Breton because Olly is her person. They will have a girl called Olivia Breton. Her nickname will be 'Content'. By the New Year, the cracks will begin to show because GrandmaFukka is too old to help out this time around.
Anna has a vision of raising blonde haired, blue eyed children like the kids from the Sound of Music. She tries to get all five of them gifted free outfits from The White Stuff but the deals are not forthcoming this time round so she has to use a sewing machine to make them outfits from the curtains in the old house in the stabby part of gentrified East London.
Olly's been secretly back on the dating apps and by Valentine's Day, he declares he needs to go and discover what it means to be truly single. By Easter he has lovebombed Clemmie the Racist and by Summer she has left her dusty husband that she hates and moved in with Stripey Top.
The End.
I forgot to add a footnote: Nobody invites Anna to any parties coz she's a scummy single mother of 5 kids.
Corkonienne
Member
Just WOW. 10 or so years ago, I quite enjoyed her content. But after following along for a while, it became clear that the self effacing, bumbling along, sweary, trying to be relatable was all very much a contrived act. I remember it dawning when I listened to her being interviewed on a couple of different podcasts on various topics a few years ago, and she would rehash the same stories/metaphors/analogies verbatim (flatulent beagle, crisp packet in the wind, parenting the shit out of it, qumquat, quagmire), but the stories would have a slightly different context or setting. Including some extremely cringeworthy tales that were blatantly made up, designed for the lols, and positing Anna as hilarious, edgy, great banter and a little bit naughty. (Glasses half way down her nose for full sexy school marm effect) The details in these different interviews didn’t quite line up, and it became clear that she was someone with a very elastic grasp on the truth, and she would shoehorn in these missives, always designed to show her in the best light possible. Most of the stories seemed ridiculous, affected and massively overplayed. Her appearance on tv purporting to have suffered PPP was also questionable to say the least. I was happy to unfollow as it didn’t sit well with me that she was using a supposed mental health crisis to shill some book.
She showed up on my FYP a few days ago, and I am baffled. The podcast seems to be an exercise in self obsession - in every clip she appears to be weeping, talking in tropes & indulging in nauseating nonsense with that Polly woman. I can see that it is attempting to be authentic and genuine, but the saccharine try-hardness of it all is repulsive. I think she is a master grifter and self promoter, and has done pretty well for herself by attaching herself to particular causes - that coincidentally allows her to be portrayed as some kind of patron saint for parents everywhere. But only the ones that look like her, of course. Her word salad tendencies are in full flow now as she blatantly tries to rewrite the narrative of her situation, and once again position herself as brave/remarkable/strong/empowered. I am confused by the so called stigmas she appears to be inventing, again, all in the name of self congratulation. No idea why she is positioning herself as an expert on blended families, after mere months in. Having said that, she appears to be a self proclaimed expert in separation, divorce, magpie-ing, co-parenting, Hinge-ing, friendship, parenting, flexible working, side-eyeing the camera, pregnancy sex, love after divorce, marriage after divorce blah blah blah. It is embarrassing. Her defensiveness in some of those recent posts say it all - the so called stigma and judgment she is describing, only comes from her own preconceptions about divorce and blended families. Divorce and blended families have been the norm for a long long time, but her narcissism means she needs to somehow make her own situation special and unique. She isn’t some trailblazing light for women everywhere - she is a walking red flag, attention seeking, terrified to be alone, and now frantically re-writing her trite ‘happy ending’, and playing it all out on social media for validation and head pats. Weird head girl vibes from it all, desperate for affirmation. Oddly, all she seems to do is complain about the dirge and drudgery of parenting, and barely seems to cope with her own kids who are very much grown now. She will milk this baby content for all it is worth. Pretty grim, all things considered. Said as someone who had my last child at 42, and has had a blended family for the past 15 years.
She showed up on my FYP a few days ago, and I am baffled. The podcast seems to be an exercise in self obsession - in every clip she appears to be weeping, talking in tropes & indulging in nauseating nonsense with that Polly woman. I can see that it is attempting to be authentic and genuine, but the saccharine try-hardness of it all is repulsive. I think she is a master grifter and self promoter, and has done pretty well for herself by attaching herself to particular causes - that coincidentally allows her to be portrayed as some kind of patron saint for parents everywhere. But only the ones that look like her, of course. Her word salad tendencies are in full flow now as she blatantly tries to rewrite the narrative of her situation, and once again position herself as brave/remarkable/strong/empowered. I am confused by the so called stigmas she appears to be inventing, again, all in the name of self congratulation. No idea why she is positioning herself as an expert on blended families, after mere months in. Having said that, she appears to be a self proclaimed expert in separation, divorce, magpie-ing, co-parenting, Hinge-ing, friendship, parenting, flexible working, side-eyeing the camera, pregnancy sex, love after divorce, marriage after divorce blah blah blah. It is embarrassing. Her defensiveness in some of those recent posts say it all - the so called stigma and judgment she is describing, only comes from her own preconceptions about divorce and blended families. Divorce and blended families have been the norm for a long long time, but her narcissism means she needs to somehow make her own situation special and unique. She isn’t some trailblazing light for women everywhere - she is a walking red flag, attention seeking, terrified to be alone, and now frantically re-writing her trite ‘happy ending’, and playing it all out on social media for validation and head pats. Weird head girl vibes from it all, desperate for affirmation. Oddly, all she seems to do is complain about the dirge and drudgery of parenting, and barely seems to cope with her own kids who are very much grown now. She will milk this baby content for all it is worth. Pretty grim, all things considered. Said as someone who had my last child at 42, and has had a blended family for the past 15 years.
rogueapostrophe
VIP Member
RECAP!
The timeline of meeting the Hinge Inseminator and getting knocked up and firing out Baby Content is unravelling as fast as Anna’s hold-ups falling down around her ankles.
In a post in early December of her pouting whilst preggers and then dangling Content baby awkwardly, she says ‘8.5 months in’ implying that Contentbaby is NOT preemie after all.
There is some speculation that MotherFukka and Farquharson split up way earlier than announced as @Smellyoulater saw him on Hinge and said “Aren’t you married to MotherPukka?” and he said something like “actually we split up but we’re keeping it private for now.” It is unknown whether he was a Hinge premium member too like Chin to Skin.
Spicy Johnston went on holiday and Fukka had an absolute meltdown at having to solo parent her brood of 5 Von Trapp children during her Maternity Service. She’s dragged the baby all around London on public transport and of course she has now got mastitis and flu although she’s well enough the next day to go to the Mulan premiere. She did slip in that she wailed down the phone so much at big chinned hedge fund lawyer Oliver Bretton at how awful her life is and how leaky her tits are and he came home and held her. A few of her flock commented “WHAT A GUY!” even though he seemed to have offered zero practical help and probably just patted her on the head, gave her a cuddle and went back to browsing Hinge premium in the downstairs loo.
Fukka has been pouting her way around every red carpet event that will have her. She even paid some make-up artist to make her look exactly the same as she usually does with the winged eyeliner of days gone by. She has taken to wearing voluminous ‘tiered bin bag dresses’ (thank you @DeloresBawbag for that excellent description) that surely do not give Olly Bretton the horn. She is always adoringly staring up at old sausage fingers whilst he looks smugly in the other direction ignoring her come to bed eyes. Never trust a man whose fingers are so sausagey that he can’t do up his own shoelaces for a red carpet event.
Her photos of gifted stuff for the nursery consisted of a few posts where she shoved all the furniture into one corner of the nursery like she’s trying to barricade herself in there like Swampy should Chin to Skin ever try and get her out of the house. She stared wistfully at the blackout blinds and held the remote control in her hefty hand so that we could see she is a GLFS who likes a bit of gadgetry.
She announced she is the speaker for a Mother’s Meeting event that had a panel of women of colour which is unknown why they chose Whiter than Whitehouse to chair the panel.
Fukka seems allergic to putting a hat on the baby’s head “in the bleak midwinter” as she calls it. She’s also seemingly forgetting about Maternity Service as she’s back to calling it Maternity Leave after kicking off about it being called Mat Leave. She’s also working harder now than she seemed to work before she had a baby so fuck knows what point she is trying to make.
Fukka did a New Year’s shout outs for Chin to Skin who has made her feel held and safe for the first time in the vulnerable period after giving birth. Clearly a fuck you to Farquharson.
Spicy’s gone back to Australia for a bit but not before scoffing 73 oysters the day before a 24 hour flight and giving herself the shits, although curiously on arrival she couldn’t poop and was asking for tips to make her shit. One can’t help but wonder where they found this gem of a nanny!
The timeline of meeting the Hinge Inseminator and getting knocked up and firing out Baby Content is unravelling as fast as Anna’s hold-ups falling down around her ankles.
In a post in early December of her pouting whilst preggers and then dangling Content baby awkwardly, she says ‘8.5 months in’ implying that Contentbaby is NOT preemie after all.
There is some speculation that MotherFukka and Farquharson split up way earlier than announced as @Smellyoulater saw him on Hinge and said “Aren’t you married to MotherPukka?” and he said something like “actually we split up but we’re keeping it private for now.” It is unknown whether he was a Hinge premium member too like Chin to Skin.
Spicy Johnston went on holiday and Fukka had an absolute meltdown at having to solo parent her brood of 5 Von Trapp children during her Maternity Service. She’s dragged the baby all around London on public transport and of course she has now got mastitis and flu although she’s well enough the next day to go to the Mulan premiere. She did slip in that she wailed down the phone so much at big chinned hedge fund lawyer Oliver Bretton at how awful her life is and how leaky her tits are and he came home and held her. A few of her flock commented “WHAT A GUY!” even though he seemed to have offered zero practical help and probably just patted her on the head, gave her a cuddle and went back to browsing Hinge premium in the downstairs loo.
Fukka has been pouting her way around every red carpet event that will have her. She even paid some make-up artist to make her look exactly the same as she usually does with the winged eyeliner of days gone by. She has taken to wearing voluminous ‘tiered bin bag dresses’ (thank you @DeloresBawbag for that excellent description) that surely do not give Olly Bretton the horn. She is always adoringly staring up at old sausage fingers whilst he looks smugly in the other direction ignoring her come to bed eyes. Never trust a man whose fingers are so sausagey that he can’t do up his own shoelaces for a red carpet event.
Her photos of gifted stuff for the nursery consisted of a few posts where she shoved all the furniture into one corner of the nursery like she’s trying to barricade herself in there like Swampy should Chin to Skin ever try and get her out of the house. She stared wistfully at the blackout blinds and held the remote control in her hefty hand so that we could see she is a GLFS who likes a bit of gadgetry.
She announced she is the speaker for a Mother’s Meeting event that had a panel of women of colour which is unknown why they chose Whiter than Whitehouse to chair the panel.
Fukka seems allergic to putting a hat on the baby’s head “in the bleak midwinter” as she calls it. She’s also seemingly forgetting about Maternity Service as she’s back to calling it Maternity Leave after kicking off about it being called Mat Leave. She’s also working harder now than she seemed to work before she had a baby so fuck knows what point she is trying to make.
Fukka did a New Year’s shout outs for Chin to Skin who has made her feel held and safe for the first time in the vulnerable period after giving birth. Clearly a fuck you to Farquharson.
Spicy’s gone back to Australia for a bit but not before scoffing 73 oysters the day before a 24 hour flight and giving herself the shits, although curiously on arrival she couldn’t poop and was asking for tips to make her shit. One can’t help but wonder where they found this gem of a nanny!