fopperholic : Most liked Posts

I still think it should be Fopperholic #35 The Mussolini of Montessori

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Fopperholic #31 Selling all the gifted tat cause the Ryan's are skint. #bekind to me cause I'm a narcissistic bint.

She’s like Boris Johnston talking about lockdown easing

I do count syns but I don’t count syns
It is just a hobby, but it is my job
I rotate toys, but I buy new ones every other day
I don’t open toys straight away but I’ll open this toy now
My dad has a heart problem if you’re Virgin but my dad isn’t vulnerable
I’d just buy one prison tower, but I’d take two gifted ones
I don’t use filters, but use presets

I could fill a book

Yoghurtpots said:

"I assume that you always have your shit together"
"I assume that you wake up looking glamorous"
"I assume that you and your hubby never argue"
"I assume that your house is always immaculate"
Etc etc
They ALWAYS "choose" the same questions! Really lick arse questions. I just could not do that. I would feel like such a big headed tit.
They always say "omg no! Of course not! I'm such a mess" but its all bullshit and its 30 minutes of them blowing their own trumpet or being fake humble.
Answer the REAL questions!

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I wish they would just be honest. I did a home visit at 2.15pm yesterday afternoon to a mum with 7 month old twin boys. She was in 2 day old pj’s and had 2 day old make up on. She was also crying and at her wits end as the boys wouldn’t settle. I sent her for a coffee and a shower, whilst I watched the boys. When she came back down, I asked her what abc happened, as she is usually quite calm and collected. She said she had, had a tough few days with the boys and felt like she was failing, constantly. She follows many mummy bloggers on Instagram and was confused about why her life didn’t look that perfect, and why she couldn’t shower and change let alone her out of the house by 10am. Yesterday had tipped her over the edge when one had posted about her twins sleeping through from 6pm - 7am, when her boys just don’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time!
I really had to explain that SM was a dangerous place to be, when you are struggling, none of these women lead a perfect life and have all their shit together, they just like to give the perception that they do. They will never admit that they struggle and when they try to look relatable, they all fail miserably as you can see it’s all staged.
She sat and blocked them all as she realised that this was seriously impacting on her already fragile, mental health. I so want these so called influencers to crash and burn this year, it’s bad enough they sell their own children to the devil, but the impact it is having on society as a whole, is worrying!

Love the title

can just picture her fuming reading it

Nikki: “Chris my face looks gorgeousssss doesn’t it?”
Chris: scrolling insta looking at Carly (hot golf blonde) Grunts.. what?
Nikki: “Those tattle cows are saying my face is falling”
Chris: Not listening....*taking photos of his orthopaedic foot coverings* What? (Not listening) Yeah... same babe
Nikki: Humph! *stamps clumpy ugly gladiator shoe* “WHAT?! You think I’m old” *whiney princess voice*
Chris: ...rolls eyes... you are 40 babe
Nikki: (scary wide eyes) I am not! I am 39 and 8 months *corrected*
Chris: Same thing..39..40..41 it’s fine just embrace it- goes back to scrolling through golf shite
Nikki: (picks up phone) Hi.. is that the Botox clinic.. book me in for the Tanya Turner special please! ... long pause
how much?!!!
Well... I’m actually a really successful video blogger with 153k followers.. will you give me a press sample in exchange for a over filtered preset selfie??
..great see you soon!
Happy fopping
Botox clinic:happy what??
Nikki: fopping!! You know food and shopping..
Botox clinic: tumbleweed... ok... ummm see you next Tuesday Nikki

Hiiiiiiiiii guys Nikki and Alexa here lol
Not sure if you'll know what or who Alexa is so let me explain. It's this super new personal assistant I have. Only rich, super busy and famous people are allowed them but if you swipe up you can buy one. If you can afford one that is. So anyway Alexa does things for me so I don't have to, because I'm a really busy mum. To twins. Two babies. That's right, two of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So being a new mum to two twin babies and having to run around after them all day long (as I gave up my very important management career where I was so important but worked wayyyyyy too hard) I can now yell hey Alexa do this....or hey Alexa "what does cleaver mean"? She then goes online and plays me music or brings me answers.

"hey Alexa how many calories in a mug cake"....and see she just let's me know. I don't even have to think anymore!!!!!!! "hey Alexa what time does Costa open?"....

Anyway the boys were making so much noise and interrupting my important work with Alexa so I just shut them in the hallway for five mins while I finish talking to my new mate. They're in there all safe running about. There (they're) SOOOOOO close to walking it's ahhhh-mazing. I know grey grey will get there first as he's soooooooo much more advanced than erm, the other one.
Hey Alexa, what is the name of twin two? Oh that's right, Lawson. Yeah grey grey is SOOOO amazing and way more cleaver and advanced than the other one. The other one bullied him when they were in my womb when I was carrying twins. That's correct!!!!! I carried twins, two babies. In my belly!!!!!!!!! And look at me now. So slim and toned and just ahhhh-mazing. I'm a size 8 Y'know. Size freaking 8!!!!!!!
God those jealous bitches on tattle need to be kind. #bekind they said I edit my selfies. Ha. What do they know??? I'd never do that. Sure, I use this app that puts filters on and let's me stretch the pic so I look longer and thinner, but the pic is still 100% real and unedited. Do they think I Photoshop it?!

Oh give me two mins as I need to monitor my comments on my instagram. People say mean things to me on there because they're jealous of me. That's the thing with being a celebrity you see, people get jealous quickly. If doesn't help that I am also a kind person who does charity work, so they find faults elsewhere. Like they say I'm stupid. Well helllllooooooo Alexa, I'm cleaver. I got an a in English and a degree. Blonde with brains is me. And they're so jealous that I'm a size 8. Size 8 - E I G H T!!! Size 8 mum of twins, cleaver, beautiful, rich. Does charity work. Course they'll hate me.

Hey Alexa - where did I leave the twins?

Hey ladies, sorry to derail but you’re all so lovely and I wanted to let you all know I had a beautiful baby boy yesterday he was 4 weeks early so I’ll ensure I use his corrected age for the foreseeable future

“Please sir, can I have some more”

Caz1604 said:

She’s admitted before, I think it was when she was pregnant, that she rarely ate carbs when losing her alledged 3 stone in 3 months (2 stone 5 lbs corrected)

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The new thread title NEEDS to have 2.5 stone corrected in it. This was the best comment in the entire thread

My title suggestion is: wants to return to work away from the boys like we always suspected, lost 3 stone in 3 months (2.5 stone corrected)

I have never contributed to the thread, but have read it everyday since Googling ‘Fopperholic, - annoying’ after her ‘Woe is me’ post last year.

I feel annoyed with myself for getting wound up over her attitude, and I try to stop myself checking up on her latest posts and stories . Unfortunately, self discipline isn’t my strong point!

At work this morning, we had a somber meeting where we were told of the plan for more patients coming into our hospital over the coming weeks. Ventilators being counted, elective surgery being cancelled, retraining programmes so we can work in unfamiliar departments and being fit tested for special masks.
We all stood in silence, trying to take it all in as they told us to prepare for conditions resembling a warzone.
Like everyone else on here, I feel like I am living a bad dream.

Then, I (stupidly) looked at her wall and saw the adverts for Graze bars and scar plasters, asking for support, and talking about ‘work’ commitments and I physically shook with rage. I honestly didn’t know anyone could be as self centred as she is.
There are no words to describe how much I despise this selfish woman

Thread suggestion:

Fopperholic #46 The boys are at nannies cause Borris said so, she pushed them out the car shouting go go go

Ah thanks @Thismamacan

An early new thread suggestion:

Fopperholic- no twins discount she’s fuming, 5.5 hours free for more personal grooming.

I will be blocked and she will delete this but I’m outraged at anyone that assists this rag to still be in existence

One nest of pasta each? FFS bob geldof is busy writing band aid 3 for her as we speak.....feed the Ryans, do they know it's dinner time at all?? Size down your crockery as well as your kecks folks!

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Fopperholic #65 don't understand this covid lark, quick boy's let's find another park

Added apostrophe for effect

And here she is.... telling Fopps she can style an otter

Fopperholic #52 Filtered from my head to my toes. Didn't eat at The Ivy, just went for a pose.

Thread Suggestion: Fopperholic #43 Staring up at a goat’s crack, well worth it to show off my designer backpack

New thread title:

Shes retired from SW and the YouTube career’s fleeting, and if you call her kids ginger she’s blocking and deleting

Just to derail the thread only for a moment! My surgery date has come through for Monday and my journey starts to kick cancer’s ass!!
I am fully dependant on you guys to keep me highly entertained during me weeks of bed rest and possibly pure boredom