I actually got arrested over bloody hand sanitiser during the plandemic.
Me and my sister walked into a charity shop and an officious old biddy screamed "Where are your masks?!" I'm pretty much deaf and I lip read but even I heard what she was saying, she was so loud. My sister told her we were exempt, at which she pulled a face. She then marched towards us brandishing a pump bottle of what I assume was hand sanitiser, literally with her finger on the trigger ready to squirt it at us. I told her if she came one step closer to me that I would defend myself. She backed off. I was proper pissed off, called her a stupid cunt and we left.
About a week later I had police knocking on my door, they wanted to come in and speak to me about the incident. I told them they weren't coming in without a warrant and arranged a time to see them at the police station. I attended the appointment, maskless, even made the copper take his off so I could understand him. Someone had seen me driving away and had taken my vehicle reg number. I'm also pretty distinctive as I'm heavily tattooed.
He read me my rights and told me I was under arrest for a Public Order Act offence. He arrogantly said they wouldn't pursue charges if I underwent "community resolution" and sat down with this old cow and apologised.
I listened to everything he said and said "Well I have a few options here. Hand sanitiser contains ethelyne oxide, which if you look at the Cancer Research website is highly carcinogenic. I believed this woman was about to spray me with the contents and shouted at her in self defence to make her stop, which she did. This was "reasonable force" to defend myself.
If you do pursue criminal charges against me I will report this woman for a serious crime of attempting to -
24 Maliciously administering poison, &c. with intent to injure, aggrieve, or annoy any other person.
Whosoever shall unlawfully and maliciously administer to or cause to be administered to or taken by any other person any poison or other destructive or noxious thing, with intent to injure, aggrieve, or annoy such person, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and being convicted thereof shall be liable . . . F1 to be kept in penal servitude . . . F2
under the Offences Against The Person Act 1861 and also common assault.
Please tell her that I will also consider a private prosecution and/or civil action.
I am a victim of crime and will not be apologising to this woman."
Then I sat back with my arms folded and stared at him. He was very flustered and went off to speak to his sergeant. Five minutes later he came back and told me there would be no further action against me.
The older I get I realise how much these bastards rely on people not knowing their rights and the law in general. Debt collectors are great to have fun with, the number of them I have had to explain implied rights of access (common law) to is crazy. When I tell them I'm going to invoice them £1000 for every minute they're stood on my doorstep they soon fuck off, never to get in contact again.