childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

peachesandcreamz

peachesandcreamz

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I haaaaate that they focus on the kids in these stories. ADULTS are the ones buy these tickets!! Boohoo the kid couldn't go, but Mum is the one who lost out on hundreds of quid - along with every other ADULT who purchased tickets for the event!

Does the inconvenience of childfree folk just not matter? Is our money so disposable that we can afford to throw it down the drain?

It reminds me of influencers I keep seeing talking about the Israel/Palestine conflict saying how sad it is for the CHILDREN and babies and families. Elle Darby has commented on it several times e.g. "As a Mum I just can't imagine the pain they're going through, I would do anything for the safety of my babies". Again - do adults lives not fucking count of anything??? Is it only worth sympathising with people if they've got kids? Family and loved ones don't count I guess unless you've birthed them.
 
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shadowcat5

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littlewonder said:
if I need to ‘powder a little booty’ to feel love, then I’m alright thanks. I will happily remain joyless and cold til I die 🥱
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i hate the “you don’t know love until you’ve had a child” one cause it’s condescending but also like how miserable is that. You don’t think love exists in different forms?

edting for spelling
 
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littlewonder

Chatty Member
just been catching up on the thread and really resonated with the posts about feeling like friends are just waiting for us childfree people to grow up and out of our interests. My friends never act happy for me, never hype me up, don’t care about what’s happening in my life but can do it for their ‘fellow mamas’ all the time? I don’t actually mind talking about kids/houses/marriages if it’s not the only topic of conversation, but it is and I am the only one of the group now that doesn’t have any of those things myself because life hasn’t been particularly easy and I also don’t want those things. I often feel like they assume that means I have nothing exciting going on - but they never ask! I am a person too! I’m aware I probably need to make some new friends but we’ve been friends for years and I keep thinking it’s such a shame. It would make a nice change if they made the tiniest bit of effort to ask about my life and pretended to be interested in the answer.

Then they complain that their childfree friends don’t see them as much now that they have children?!?! It’s not actually the child that’s the problem for me, it’s THEM! Their child is often perfectly fine, it’s the parent that’s acting like a twat!
 
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prozacprincess

prozacprincess

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My sister works in hospitality and at her last job she asked if she could have Mondays off regularly, but was told no as she doesn’t have kids ! They told her only employees with children could request to have a particular day off on a regular basis. Out of spite she then booked every Monday off as a holiday for 3 months to use up her remaining holiday days and then handed in her notice 😆
 
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TaylorMomsen

TaylorMomsen

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oliviaobivia said:
I don’t get why people would have a ‘child free’ thread. You don’t have kids, you don’t maybe like or want them so why do you feel the need to discuss it with others? I don’t like cats, And don’t plan on ever having any but I wouldn’t join an online forum to discuss why I don’t want any every day? 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ No hate, just a bit curious about why the need for this forum. The same with the child free Reddit forum.
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I don't get why people would have a 'pregnancy' or 'I have kids' thread. You got pregnant, you want / have kids, so why do you feel the need to discuss it with others?
 
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ElectricDreams

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We wonder why children grow up to be so entitled... I've just been in the supermarket, stood behind a bloke and his son aged about 12. They paid for the shopping then the son decided he wanted a bottle of pop so the dad sent him back, making me wait even though he'd already paid and there was no one behind me (I only had a few things)

Kid comes back with a can of Monster energy drink. Dad doesn't bat an eyelid and waves him through. The young lad working on the checkout quite rightly asked how old the child was and the dad immediately said "it's for me" even though we'd all heard the conversation prior. The checkout guy reiterated he couldn't sell it if it was for the child, and the dad said "it's for me, I won't give him it" and kind of stared the young lad on the till down. He looked so uncomfortable, but it was a few minutes before closing so I think a combo of sheer intimidation and not wanting to prolong things, he reluctantly handed it over.

It made me so angry that a grown man would use intimidation tactics to get a young lad to break the law so his precious offspring could get a drink that quite rightly shouldn't be sold to kids. The kid had a right smug look on his face as he walked out 😡
 
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bananabutter

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sleepflowers said:
I saw a tiktok about the truth of having kids and someone in the comments said 'I haven't had a day alone in 20 years' and the thought made me scream out loud
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The thought of that makes me shudder.

I’ve had a rare day entirely on my own today as my OH is away for the day with some friends and it’s been an absolute dream 😍😂

I went for a two hour coastal walk with a coffee, then cleaned our house from top to bottom, did the food shop and had a little nanna nap 😂 now I’m going to start my new book and have a self care evening with a hot bath (whilst he changes the bedding and puts away the laundry I’ve done) 😂

No doubt that’s soulless and empty for those with children 🙈 one of my friends is whining in the group chat about how awful soft play is on a Sunday, but on instagram its “Sundays well spent bring a week of content” 🙄
 
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Mimble

Mimble

Member
Eggsandbeans said:
What annoys me, and I’m probably going to get shot for this, is this idea that a child free persons spare time is not as valuable as someone who has chosen to have children.
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Apparently it's because we spend all our weekends relaxing on cloud nine and diving into pools filled with £20 notes from our disposable income, like Scrooge McDuck. (Of course though that's all just a pathetic attempt to fill up our time and cover up the gnawing hollowness of our childless wombs, sad half women that we are.)


Seriously though, completely agree, and it pecks my head in. It really stems from this subconscious (or even openly expressed) idea that if you don't have children you have oodles of free time and the free time AND booked up time you do have is simply not as valuable as their time. Argh.
 
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mcfeez

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Falkor said:
I've just got to the bit in June where someone asked about getting their tubes tied - I managed to get it done on the NHS in my late 20s, which I'm immensely grateful for and I don't think would happen now, I'd get fobbed off with a Mirena. I started asking my GP at around 23 for a referral, got refused, kept asking every six months when I had to go back to see him to get my prescription for the pill, and after four or five years of this the GP who took over from him when he retired got fed up enough to refer me. I then saw two different gynaecologists, who weren't very happy about the idea and eventually said that if I'd agree to attend a couple of sessions with a psychiatrist for evaluation then they'd do it if he agreed. So off I went to the psych, who had somehow got the idea that I wanted my entire womb and ovaries removed, so I spent most of the first session explaining that wasn't the case, and then in the second session he said he wanted to hypnotise me to see if there was some lingering childhood trauma that meant I didn't want kids. He failed to put me in a trance and was so annoyed by this that he sat on my notes for six months, refusing to hand them back to the gynacology side of things. In the end I wrote a really annoyed letter to the Primary Care Trust in charge, which ended with 'I understand that everyone is concerned about me making a life-changing decision at a relatively young age. But a 17-year-old getting pregnant and deciding to keep her baby is also a life-changing decision at a relatively young age and she doesn't have to work her way through two GPs, two gynaecologists and a psychiatrist to be allowed to make that decision.' I had an invitation for a pre-op assessment four weeks later. Best thing I ever did.
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I wonder how many men are getting sent for psychiatric evaluation if they don't want children?! Quite an assumption to make about you having unresolved trauma because you don't want to have children.
 
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Boadicea1

Active member
I see people are very unhappy with the childcare cost cover being announced but not being implemented until 2025 so for those not yet born.

Childcare costs have been expensive forever and it is not a new thing. Much like everything else.

I don't want children but I know if I did I wouldn't as I couldn't afford them. Why are so many people having children when the costs to support them and keep them alive is near impossible. If you ever dare to say this aloud you are always met with 'How do you know one of the parents didn't have a good job that paid well and then they were made redundant.'

What, everybody?

Bet those nannies in nursery won't get paid more but will have more children to take care of.

Be nice for those without children (Like me and my partner) who work to get some help off the government to get our own home.

Never mind.
 
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MavisBeacon

MavisBeacon

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When complete strangers ask me if I have kids I sometimes say "I can't have them", if I'm feeling particularly pissed off, just to watch them cringe.
It's true - I can't have them because I hate the idea of it with every fibre of my being.
Sometimes I just say "Hahaha oh hell no" and laugh, which also confuses people
 
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Yorkshirepud85

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www.dailymail.co.uk

Fan, 33, flies to Qatar at the last minute WITHOUT telling girlfriend

Father-of-two David 'Dai' Jones, 33, could not resist travelling to the hotly-anticipated game after seeing his best friends partying at the tournament from their base in Dubai.
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk


This article only reiterates why I think motherhood is a mugs game.

This bloke switches off his phone and jumps on a plane without telling his gf, leaving his two kids and risking the sack. She had to be told by his father he would he back in two days.

So many comments of 'good lad' 'you only live once' saying the gf is a miserable cow for getting upset.

If a woman did this she would be slammed as an unfit parent. It's just a prime example of how for many (not all) men that their lives bear no dissemblance to before they had responsibilites. She is probably somewhat dependent on him financially too so in all likeihood forced to suck it up and let him get away with it. I'd be mortified.
 
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PinkMariner

PinkMariner

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Just found this thread & I love it!

I am 39 & married to the love of my life - we have an amazing life mostly, both work decent jobs, we have a good social life, comfortable house, car, buy what we want when we want, no responsibility at all. I would not change it for anything. I've known since I was a teenager I didn't want children. Had an abortion at 21 because I knew it I didn't want to be a mum. People have always said to me I would change my mind, but I have genuinely never ever felt like I am missing out at all. We have 2 god daughters, 8 nieces & 6 nephews - that is plenty enough small people in my life thank you very much!

My only sadness is that I feel like my best friend and I are growing apart - she is the mother of my god daughters. I feel like i no longer relate to her life, and she probably can't relate to mine. That makes me really sad.
 
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Pebbleybeach

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witchofwestbyfleet said:
Agree re the Radfords. They got together at a very young age as well and Sue was 14 when they had their first, she wasn't even an adult when she got married. No wonder she is stuck in such a childlike mentality - I'm not saying there is anything wrong with young marriage/pregnancy but there's a vast difference between doing that in your 20s, even early 20s, vs when you are 14!

There was a well known fundamentalist Christian family in the USA who had a large number of biological children (12 iirc, not as many as the Radfords but still) and then started adopting, essentially they were hoarding children as they couldn't provide for them all. The eldest unmarried daughter in the family was always expected to leave school and take care of the younger children, and a number of them had serious disabilities as well. This eventually led to one of the kids, who was seriously disabled, dying in a tragic accident because the parents couldn't supervise and were so overworked. The mother has now left her husband, come out as a lesbian, and attends a less extreme church and she has said she can't believe the situation she put her family in and why :( I honestly believe you don't really love children if you have more than you can provide and care for



I have had an eating disorder and BDD. If I got pregnant the weight gain, stretchmarks, etc. along with hormones and so on would absolutely cause a relapse as would the constantly being treated like my body isn't my own - I couldn't stand to have frequent blood and glucose tests but if you say no, you risk being reported to social services! When I've said this people have either said I was being selfish or said things like "it's different when it actually happens to you, you would do anything for your baby." That's not true. Having a baby does not magically cure mental health problems and can, in fact, make them a lot worse

It's well documented that one of the reasons why disabled people are very vulnerable to forced marriages is that in some cultures, people genuinely believe that mental illness or learning disabilities etc. will magically be resolved through marriage/children. I wonder how many of those on MN would think that's barbaric yet their own beliefs basically amount to the same thing?
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Not a mental illness or a disability but I have had insomnia for decades and nothing has worked. My older brothers ex girlfriend told me having babies would cure it. Babies. Would. Cure. INSOMNIA.
 
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Blond3g1rl

Blond3g1rl

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DCICassieStuart said:
I was supposed to meet up with two friends last Saturday for lunch. We're all 44, friends since schooldays. Two of us are child free by choice, the third dithered for ages before finally having her son at 39 (planned)

I had booked a nice hotel for 2pm. At 1.15 she messaged to say that she wouldn't be able to make it after all as 'the baby' (this is what she always calls her 5 year old) had been asked on a last minute play date 😡

She's married, they have two cars and her husband works Monday to Friday so was definitely available.

I just messaged back "Fine" because I was so pissed off.
Our other friend rang me, also pissed off and we decided we'd just let it go altogether but I'm not going to bother in future.
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Her son might have a last minute play date but she’s got a previously organised lunch therefore she should have said no he can’t make it.
 
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