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Are you fucking kidding me Sophie? Alpacas will now see that house is their territory, you are putting your kids in danger you horrible excuse for a human being. Also, those alpacas could seriously injure themselves falling over in there. This woman does not give a shit about anyone and anything, apart from her stupid self and her fucking size 5s. Actually fuming.

This bloody woman couldn’t lie straight in bed.
Nobody shit on the floor did they, Sofa?
If they did, who was it?
Can’t be Ronnie, you spent last summer potty training him - he’d use the toilet for you to pop a picture of him doing it on Instagram wouldn’t he?
Can’t have been Lennie, he’s awol since the are they hungry, are they cold post…
Can’t be fiddle, she wouldn’t be there that early, she doesn’t live with you, does she Soph?
Can’t have been Jamie, he is - despite photographic evidence to the contrary - a big boy now.
Henry? The most perfect dog to walk the earth? Surely not!
Which just leaves the Wooly Wankers, but they’ve only been allowed as far as the kitchen, right?
So, who did it?!?

The minky video. Lovely sly advert Jim Bob, still reporting you to the ASA.
But it was something more than an advert wasn’t it? Ronnies lining things up isn’t he? Hinch has obviously been messaging the second worst insta hun in existence PTWM and talking about ways to drip feed or tease a possible autism diagnosis.

I actively dislike this woman. She’s a waste of an insta handle.

You cook bloody amazing? You inspire so many? Is this account on crack? Who is she inspiring? What does she actually cook? Sorry for all the questions but I feel like I’m missing all her amazing, inspiring meals she makes

We are "ALWAYS LEARNING" guyyyssch!
Everyday is a school day here with the big fat hens as we are always on a "journey", learning from each other, nurturing & absorbing our shared knowledge and opinions

So... whilst catching up this week, after an unfortunate hiatus, I can't help thinking about the Mortar and Pestle at the side of Lord & Lady Chav's new sex chamber bed - on jimbob's side, which they can't fucking reach anyway, given how far those French drawers are away from their hideous new bed.
It might be for his 'bumbuminnnittt'?

After some brief research, apparently a Mortar and Pestle in the bedroom symbolises creation and fertility!
(https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www....tar-and-pestle-symbolise-creation-742987.html)

Also, there is an alternative explanation on Urban Dictionary
Food for thought

Right ... swing that Teeny Peeny Jimbobnoknob (he can only wish!)
Some re-worked lyrics to an old dissschhho classic, "September"

Do you remember
The very 1st night of September?
With only ADs on the minds of pre 'tenders
While always filterin' your face away

The tills were ringin'
It's the sound their chav souls keep on singin'
As they brag night 'n day night, remember,
How they sold their sad loifes away

Oi Oi Oi!
Ba-dee-ya, say, do you remember?
Ba-dee-ya, braggin' in September
Ba-dee-ya, every cloud was filtered away

Ba-du-da, ba-du-da, ba-du-da, ba-du
Ba-du-da, ba-du, ba-du-da, ba-du
Ba-du-da, ba-du, ba-du-da

They have conned you
She pretends she's your friend,
Expert liars
All that poop talk and laarve remember,
How we knew they were twats anyway!

Now December
It's the Christmas they planned last September
Excessive & greedy,
remember,
"You are exactly where you're meant to be....."
(Come on babe!)

Oi Oi Oi!
Ba-dee-ya, say, do you remember?
Ba-dee-ya, braggin' in September
Ba-dee-ya, every day's a filtered day
There was a
Ba-dee-ya (dee-ya, dee-ya), say, do you remember?
Ba-dee-ya (dee-ya, dee-ya), braggin' in September
Ba-dee-ya (dee-ya, dee-ya), rainbow dreams and fantasshay days!
Meeeoooow!

Passionate Weeping Al

Those blocks at the top of the table leg looks like an oops, we made the legs too short so we'll just put these blocks under the tabletop. No one will ever notice

Next year: "Last year I said a swim makes bedtime easier. Oh my god guysch, look what just appeared at Hunch farm! A pool. It will make bedtime easier. Jamie's going to kill me teeheheehe. What makes bedtime easier for you? Do you love your swimming pool?" 🥲"

Pollyanna263 said:

What did you say to be told to get well soon??

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I said I think the table is too small for the large room and the corners are sharp for the kids. I also said shame we can’t see her dads workmanship because the table is covered with tat
She said get well because she’s so passive aggressive that she wants to suggest I’m mentally ill for having negative stuff to say about her.
she’s an insufferable cunt.

screenfreelookatme said:

Was that the actual time that she messaged? Geez she really does work hard, doesn’t she? 24 hour job!

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Yes it was the middle of the night! The messages actually woke me up. The funny thing is my acct has 2 followers and looks so pathetic but yet she took the time to message me while thousands of people who have built profiles just to lick her arse all day, are dreaming of an interaction with her and she will never message them! Criticise her to get her attention basically
I’m gonna keep commenting on all her posts with different accts

Thread suggestion - all credit to Mumma_Eve!

Has she gone fucking mad?!

(Will swap the swear for ‘floofing’)

The ABC has made me laugh, you nusty, funny trolls! Inspired by you hens, I've had a crack at the whole darn alphabet:

A is for awfor and Audi (which they didn't buy).

B is for brick schlipss, boot room and bumbuminnit.

C is for claw... irritating, grabby claw... and "cracking up."

D is for Desenio prints and decorative books (no family photos or favourite bedtime tales in this house please!)

E is for Ella's Kitchen (who did not sponsor Soph) and [overpriced] egg chair.

F is for Fredayahoo and Fairy, who she kindly forced to use recyclable packaging FOR US! Thanks Soph!

G is for garage, where Inch goes for fun... and Gretel (AKA, her resting bitch face).

H is for hot drinks, which Sofa hates/doesn't hate.

I is for Inch 🤏 and invisible speech needs (which is code for "using my son").

J is for journalists (who follow her around, apparently).

K is for Keith, who I would absolutely love to chop in half.

L is for lardsomes and landing, which Sophie called her "waiting area."

M is for "Mum says...," mugshots and [£1k dog] mattress.

N is for NEVER walking the dog and NEVER moving house

O is for "my OWN range!"

P is for pissy sticks, panelling and pergola.

Q is for Q&As, where you ask the questions and answer them yourself!

R is for [tend] rhyming, resin (or "rezinnn") driveway and Ribena.

S is for spider slaps (to the face).

T is for thieving - thieving blankets from airlines... and poor, poor Tulisa.

U is for undeclared ads.

V is for veg patch, where 'tend tomatoes grow!

W is for wanking taps, woolly wankers and THE WORM! 🪱

X is for x-tensions ("rooty," grubby extensions).

Y is for yarn - butter yarn to be precise.

Z is for [Z List] celebrity couple, who were having a baby.

Whitwoo said:

Does nobody in that family know how to line things up so it doesnt look pissed? View attachment 1547672

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Jenga table!

Swimming before bed, the boys just luv it guys, so we’ve had a swimming pool installed, so I don’t lie awake at night wondering if they’ve swum enough today

Good Morning Lovely Cluckers
Happy Teeny Peeny Thursday!

It's the first day of September - so the start of Autumn on the meteorological calendar, which means Hinch will soon be slipping on her "fuck me boots" and "wrapping up" the boyeez for their 'tend cuntry walkies!
It also means Spider season - so get ready Slopha for those hairy bassshtards greeting you in the log store & every other crevice.
She just laaarves iTTT guys - time to get all cozzzzy on one off the many new "besthpoke" sofas at the panelled palace and whack up the heating & log burner.
Have a sschplendid day everyone! xxx

(Accidentally deleted some new ssshong lyrics, so will have to start all over again ffs!)

Blackdog said:

The microwave next to the sink could be lethal for someone, unfortunately.

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Someone on here (sorry can’t remember who) said it’s almost like Sophie wants an ‘accident’ to happen, couldn’t agree more. What mother risks their childrens safety by allowing alpacas in the house? Allowing alpacas to chase their son freely in the garden, puts the dog who chases foxes in a pen with rescue hens, I honestly believe she will do anything for a headline

Libbylulu said:

I hate that table and those chairs so much. And if I remember correctly the brick wall on the opposite side is grey, so nothing even matches.

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It’s all so awful.

I also found her saying £10 pound per chair, total barg, really insulting. Like sofie-2-houses is playing poor to be relatable. Fine if she wants to reuse or buy used, but she’s not consistent is she? To pass something off as a good deal when her dog has the choice of better mattresses than most of her followers can afford for their children. Makes me sick.

And that table must’ve been made while Al was swimming in his own tears because no way was that wonky thing cobbled together on dry land.

As a donkey lover myself and adopt several at the Donkey Sanctuary, I am hoping and praying that this cannot be allowed in what is nothing more than a large garden. This woman lives in a large house with larger than average garden. That's all. IT IS NOT A FARM!!!!! She plunges from one whim to another. Its ridiculous and we're talking real life animals here not a 5 minute Instagram story. This woman is a loose cannon. Oh I just cant say anymore, it's absolutely bloody ridiculous. Sorry, rant over, I cant bear to watch this shit show anymore (not that i do, i unfollowed her 2 years ago when I found you lot, "trolls" aka ppl who tell the truth and how it really is. #feelingbloodyannoyed

Pollyanna263 said:

Ohhh what’s happened here Soph??

View attachment 1551855

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She accidentally treated Jamie.. #tellmeyoubuybotswithouttellingmeyoubuybots

Speaking of the dining table, I’m currently reading ‘How to Kill Your Family’ (the novel not guidebook) and came across this apt quote

Mum of two said:

Ducking ell, there's no safe place in that house.
Farm yard animals in the kitchen
Even my 'chicken shoes' stay outside.
Attention seeking bitch.

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So unhygienic! Can’t say the account but there’s travellers on Tik tok who slate her for being a dirty cunt. Mentioning her pubey hoover and animals in the home, lots of them say they live on land with horses and this is a no go. She’s a skanky bitch