Surely that would just be slop that's er, sloppier?!
Might as well drink from a puddle pal. Buy my book for more top tips!
Jack Monroe #570 Delusions of Relevance
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Might as well drink from a puddle pal. Buy my book for more top tips!
I reckon that's another reason she's poked her head up.
Useless mare
Christ. Can you imagine her when she was doing the calls for the Fire Brigade?
"Hello, Southend Fire Station? We have a reported fire."
Thanks, where is it at?
"Out near that place, begins with 'C', it'll be the place on fire, can't miss it."
The supervisor asks her if she's sent the dispatch.
"Sure. Completed it mate. I'm off on my scheduled break, see you next week."
You jest, but…
Clearly you have never been exposed to…
an ashtray (actually an old light fitting) with an even older can of flat Mackeson poured into it, mouldy breads and the dregs from a plughole dropped in, with pus, Polyfilla, ball bearings and dead wasps plopped on top.
Yum! To make it gluten free, simply replace the dead wasps with gluten free dead wasps.
I'm sure I said this the first time you displayed your fabulous art dear tender
Marms, but the likeness to David Tennant playing Dennis Neilson in Des, as well as a likeness to old Guesty, well chapeau 
Audrey in your profile pic is having a sad moment reacting to Unt Pat.
Clippy was a pet project of Melinda Gates when she was working at Microsoft before she married Bill. After they got married, even after Melinda left her job, no one was brave enough to deactivate Clippy because no one wanted to incur the wrath of the Gateses. (source: friend who used to work there, and unlike guest's friends this person is real.)
So even though Clippy had outlived its usefulness, it hung around uninvited, until it looked so out of date that there was no justification for keeping it. Kind of like guest.
Wow, there are kinder and easier ways to say you'd like me to leave the thread
Not to defend guest in any way, but I seem to recall Jessica Simpson telling a story like this, for real. Her dad was her manager and was telling people what a rack his daughter had, and how they should be shown off in photos so that teenage boys would buy her records.
Dad was a fundamentalist pastor and later divorced Jessica's mom. I believe he now has a boyfriend, so I'm sure he wasn't overcompensating or anything.
Anyway both Jessica and guest are thick as planks to not only think this is funny, but to also publicly share it.
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I always got the impression the group of very special friends she started going on about were likely the other members of whatever AA group she was frequenting. Poor buggers. She loves making it sound like she has all these lifelong friends, but if you've followed her for time you know she documented everything she ever did and there was rarely any sign of any friend
Oh god, I moved onto watching TikTok threads and realised SHE'S BACK.
I feel like I'm in that film where the same thing just keeps happening only there's no groundhog just Jack thinking people are going to believe the same old tripe. Two million subscribers to what exactly?! I don't think I even want to know 
I wonder if SB has still LEFT. Didnt she separate them all out or something ?( or he just decided he had enough) to be honest i would believe her more of she said sb leaving put her on her arse, it must be awful when even your own child cant stand to be around you anymore. My OH and his dad are going through this at the minute and as a bystander its sad to watch, but then again my FOL shouldnt have been such a prick all these years to my husband and his sibling.
You know, think this PRIVATE JOKE coat may be the less famous Burberry trench Ol’ sloppy bought at the same time as its far more famous black leather studded counterpart back in 2015.
Not a “classic trench coat” investment piece then is it, you bleeping fantasist boat neck-bothering tit-with-money tit for brains moron.
*You know the leather one, don’t you? She went scampering and scurrying from Burberry all the way back to the Hotel Beverly Wiltshire and when she tried it on in the film, Richard Gere told her she wasn’t BUTCH enough? That one.
Full article/ “pile of old wank” courtesy of @PineappleQueen19 here.
*You know the leather one, don’t you? She went scampering and scurrying from Burberry all the way back to the Hotel Beverly Wiltshire and when she tried it on in the film, Richard Gere told her she wasn’t BUTCH enough? That one.
Full article/ “pile of old wank” courtesy of @PineappleQueen19 here.
Jack Monroe #8 Grates meats, deletes tweets and when she denies it we've got the receipts.
Hey Lolly, it was Ruby Tandoh back at the start of last week: I hope jack gets a good telling off for this. I know she didn't write but she needs a word with her followers. I hope the show runners tell her to tell her followers to zip it or she's out the door. She moans about people on...
tattle.life
oh, and absolutely bleeping maniacal facial expression
See also: Never worn before Burberry leather jacket, 2016. While, in fact, being worn before.
ss from the @discolisa 
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I still rub my eyes and shake my head in disbelief that she posted this.
^evergreen comment that can be reused most days, tbh. Feel free to use it and pop a little something in my tip jar.
Aw the upside is the side-characters!
I hope Go Henry squig is still doing well. Even poor Vampire squig.
Ground Slop Day: If Punxsutawney Shill pops up and tweets tit without flouncing off, the PayPal season has startedI feel like I'm in that film where the same thing just keeps happening only there's no groundhog just Jack thinking people are going to believe the same old tripe. Two million subscribers to what exactly?! I don't think I even want to know
Wasn't she once Billy-big-bollocksing it all over Twitter that she'd been asked to go on Peston's show to share her forensic insight into the Ukraine conflict (or some other important issue she had absolutely no business acting like an authority on)?
Only, she got the channel wrong. And then didn't show up on either ITV (where Peston actually works) or Channel 4 (where she claimed to be going).
bleeping tragic, fantasist waster.
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