The perinatal mental health midwife team are amazing. Iāve had help throughout this pregnancy with them and theyāve given me home visits, and itās been so nice to talk to someone. I had 2 losses back to back right before I got pregnant this time round and my anxiety has been through the roof. Speak to your EPU for some reassurance. When I was 5 weeks I was put on progesterone until I was 16 weeks because of my previous losses š¤Aww guys thank you @raspberryjuice @Brewtime87 @Greencatfysh @littlepup š„¹š©·
Iām so happy to be here! Iām just under 4 weeks. I keep trying to think positive things.
i havenāt and didnāt plan to tell any services Iām pregnant yet as the pain of having to cancel it all when something happens is just something else to deal with, but I might so I can get help with my mental health. I think Iām even worse because one of my miscarriages was a missed miscarriage and I had no symptoms at all so Iām haunted by that! Iāve already put aside the money Iām going to throw on private scanswe wonāt be telling anyone at all apart from work and parents because weāre just too scared. I hope it does get easier; I think itās because the MMC was at a time I should have been āsafeā too. I keep saying to myself itās a brand new pregnancy and a totally different time š©·
Pregnancy #57
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evening from NZ. First time poster on this thread. I am 10.5 weeks along and reeeeeeally struggling with morning (aka all day) sickness. I vomit 1-3 times most days and feel pretty nauseous at all other times. Itās usually in the morning that Iām sick and seems to happen whether I eat āin timeā or not haha. Iām also on some medications for a couple medical issues and am being monitored for those but feel like theyāre not working as well cos Iām probably just vomiting them up. I do have anti nausea pills too which work but they make me really anxious and I invariably end up needing to leave work to go home and sleep it off. Iām running out of sick leave and while work is being understanding Iām worried it wonāt last long. Iām finding it tough to last a whole day at work most days now due to the sickness and feeling weak etc. anyway, thatās my big whinge up haha my husband is being very supportive but itās been a lot tougher than I thought it would be tbh
Been in work 90 mins and I'm already drained, these next 6 weeks to maternity leave cannot go quick enough 
I also can't stop thinking about having jam on crumpets so I am VERY distracted hahaha
I also can't stop thinking about having jam on crumpets so I am VERY distracted hahaha
Sorry guys to put a dampner on things, especially after all the lovely talk about your partners. I'm feeling so lonely in my pregnancy and I'm only 10 weeks. This weekend I felt so sad. I don't think my husband really gets I'm pregnant and that I'm exhausted all the time. He's just going about his normal life and here I am struggling to get through each day. I really want to talk to him about it but the thought of it makes me want to bawl. I just want to be spoilt a bit and for it to be acknowledged I'm going through something. I know the answer is to talk to him but ahhhhhh.
Anyone else had really crazy dreams since being pregnant? Like a whole different level of insane 
Yep. Recent dreams include going to a wedding of a guy I used to like and him telling me he loves me and wants to run away with me. Being added on LinkedIn by the stalker lady from Baby Reindeer and lots about my dad who passed away a couple years agoAnyone else had really crazy dreams since being pregnant? Like a whole different level of insane
Oh love I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I had to keep instigating baby/pregnancy chats with my partner as even though I knew he was excited, he just didn't seem to really acknowledge it or talk about it at all in the earlier stages. I did make a gentle comment at one point that I was worried he wasn't happy as he didn't talk about baby, he promised me he was but I guess it just doesn't come naturally to some people. It's only been in the last few weeks he's speaking more about it, and today was the first time he spoke directly to bump and held it. I know it can feel awkward and uncomfortable to broach some things and ask direct questions but honestly it really is the best thing to do x
I think it takes them a lot longer for things to sink in whereas we go into parent mode as soon as we say the positive test. I think itās very easy for them to just get on with their lives as we are dealing with all the things that come with pregnancy which can be frustrating. Since weāve been looking at baby things recently which included swapping the car I can see the change but it still hasnāt made him pick up his socks
Please have a chat to him about how you feel though
Have you had any scans yet? I remember with my first my partner didnāt really seem interested/like he actually realised I was pregnant during the first trimester. I remember being exhausted and he was just like āwhatās up with you???ā Like he couldnāt get his head around the fact I was pregnant and feeling rubbish. I did notice once I had my 12 week scan he suddenly perked up and was like āwoah, thereās a baby in thereā as itās so much bigger as well than early scans. Then as time went on he got more and more involved and it was hitting him I was in fact, carrying his child! Then once we found out it was a boy at the 20 week scan he was different altogether! He seemed more excited than me! Then this time round heās been great throughout. You wonder what goes on in their heads, men are a lot different than women with their thinking and thought process, try and speak to him about how youāre feeling and he might come out with how he is feeling and you can both go from there! It will be rubbish feeling that way so I hope it picks up for you cos you deserve to be excited and not feeling lonely š¤
thank you! Itās so strange because Iām calmer in some ways as the absolute worst has happened to me and I realise at this early stage thereās nothing I can do, but then also more panicked, especially when I think of certain time frames! Iām trying to find our local EPU this morning and Iāll ask their advice š©·š©·š©·I haven't had the same experience as you so really cannot imagine how you are feeling, but I have used the mental health services throughout this pregnancy and can say it has been amazing for me. I have more regular midwife appointments at home and the level of support I have now compared to my last pregnancy is insanely different.
Hopefully you'll find the right support for yourself and the anxieties will ease over time
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thank you so much š©· Iām going to ask about the progesterone! I got told before I couldnāt have it unless I bleed (Iām praying to god this doesnāt happen cos even when everything is fine itās such a added worry)
I think itās just a man thing, they donāt really get as excited as us and it must be hard to understand what we actually go through. I know I didnāt give women enough credit before I was ever pregnant, I thought women just breezed through pregnancy and didnāt realise how hard it actually is. I have lists of everything we need and loads of clothes etc saved in baskets and my husband just isnāt really interested in all the cute stuff, but then I find out heās got a massive list of names saved that heās not spoke to me about!
I agree with the others that men take a bit longer to realise what a change it is. Thereās no bump yet, they havenāt seen the baby/know the gender (if youāre going to find out) so they donāt really associate the first bit with you actually growing a baby. The 12w scan can be a turning point when they see the baby as then itās ārealā
Do try and talk to him though, even if itās just to tell him how crappy you are feeling and please can he do x y or a to help
Iām only a week or so behind you so always here for a chat if you need one!
How are you guys managing to sleep at night??? I canāt get comfortable and when I do Iām waking up for a toilet break 
Iāve got another 10 weeks yet
Iāve got another 10 weeks yetAnother perspective on why men might not appear as involved is fear! Weāve had a couple of losses and awful complications before and my husband has really kept his fear and anxiety from me.. he just shows as appearing disconnected or not that excited. I pressed him the other day as weāve literally just found out Iām pregnant again and he didnāt say much, but itās because his way of coping is almost pretending nothing is happening. He was super excited the first time and told all his friends and family (I had to tell him to reign it in a bit) and now heās guarded he also said he was super scared of me having to give birth, so the fact itās less involved for men might make their fear worse. An honest chat would definitely clear things up
he also said he was super scared of me having to give birth, so the fact itās less involved for men might make their fear worse. An honest chat would definitely clear things upDoes this happen when people get to a certain amount of weeks or have people had it all the way through? Itās actually one thing I donāt have yet and Iām worried I will not cope if/ when it happens!How are you guys managing to sleep at night??? I canāt get comfortable and when I do Iām waking up for a toilet break
Agree with all the others about men just taking longer to get there. Mr R has been absolutely amazing with me since day 1, heās looked after me when Iāve been really poorly and been at every appt, by my side every hospital admission etc but itās only really the last couple of months heās got actually excited about the baby. He wasnāt interested in feeling him move (he was just like āoh yeah, thatās weird isnāt itā), rolled his eyes when I was buying more baby stuff etc. Itās only as my bump has got massive, the appts have ramped up, and weāve put stuff around the house for baby heās got really excited about it all saying he canāt wait for him to be here now, canāt wait to meet him, hold him etc. I think for them at first weāre just moany, sick, tired and theyāre more focused on us than whatās going to happen in 9 months time 
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Iāve only been getting up to wee since about 35 weeks, before then it was once/twice a night and I could get comfy with my pillow and back to sleep easily. Now baby is ginormous itās more uncomfortable but apart from the weeing I do still manage a good sleep most nights. Definitely havenāt suffered like a lot of these poor ladies so it might not be so bad for you either
To be fair I wee a lot through the day and when I get into bed I get back up about 5 times before I go to sleep. I think maybe 3 out of 7 nights I'll wake up to go the loo, that's when I close my eyes when I wee so I don't disturb myself too much
I'm 30 weeks now so it hasn't been terrible, but the nights where I'm up 2 or so times I really am grumpy the next day haha
waking in the night to wee, was my only reason for testing for pregnancy because itās something I never do. But I stopped for ages, till this last week
Never realised how much I actually complain until I joined this thread
Found out one of our friends sadly lost their baby so I was thinking of ways I could let them know without throwing it in their faces (Iāve been there, itās not nice)
Anyway my fiance drunkenly told her boyfriend on a night out and sheās texted to congratulate me. Iām honestly so annoyed and this couldāve been avoided. We havenāt even told family yet as we are waiting until after my 12 week scan, and announcing at our wedding!
Found out one of our friends sadly lost their baby so I was thinking of ways I could let them know without throwing it in their faces (Iāve been there, itās not nice)
Anyway my fiance drunkenly told her boyfriend on a night out and sheās texted to congratulate me. Iām honestly so annoyed and this couldāve been avoided. We havenāt even told family yet as we are waiting until after my 12 week scan, and announcing at our wedding!
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