Zoella #3 Joe Sugg's Sister & Pet Neglector

[Yel]

Before when I've ordered from ColourPop, I've received it in a box! A cute box too - very colourful!
Shows how worthy they think Zoe's collection is then if they won't package it correctly!

This inadequate packaging might be because they had to offer free worldwide delivery because of her UK fanbase and something had to be cut to cover the free delivery. Who knows, but I doubt they do this for all their normal orders

 

[Alightened]

You're awful, I don't like Zoe, but I don't spend my day constantly belittling people due to their skin? Your skin tends to age just, no matter what moisturiser, cream etc you use. She's nearly 30, she's obviously not going to look as if she's 21

Nah I just think it's all the crap she eats to be honest?

 

[GossWhore]

Okurr Tattlers -- little late, but who thought princess peahead would upload today (not me) ---- FIRSTLY:The thumbnail scares me

MONDAY

• "Woke up and saw our bananas are past their best, so thought I would make banana bread" --- Guess old habits die hard, who remembers in her Brighton flat when she left pita bread in a bread bin and IT WENT GREEN
• Love the fact she had to say it was 8:39am -- like "GUYZZ LOOK HOW PRODUCTIVE I AM" -- most of us at that time are at work or on our way to work, fck baking!
• YUCCKKK she used the knife she was gonna use to test the banana cake was done and put it against her spotty, coldsore face
• "All I have to do is bite my lip and I get a coldsore, get runned down/get stressed/get tired I get a coldsore....if I am not 90% of above I get a coldsore" -- HOW HAS SHE NOT FIGURED HER DIET IS TO BLAME??? HER SLOBBY HEALTH
• She used a Mary Berry recipe -- lol not her own
• "It says to line the loaf tin, but I don't because I don't know how to do it. how the hell do you do it" --- I am not a baking fanatic but even I know like dear God woman you legit act like the Queen of baking
• "If I don't have time to do my makeup I just chuck on concealer" --- maybe if you treated your skin and health better your face would benefit????
• Why are you showing your makeup? Oh to shill your Zoella x colour pop palette [she listed collab wayyyyyyy down the description box]
• YUCCKKK using her lipstick over her scabby lip (Zoes words)
• After she added "I am not a professional makeup artist" -- sis, we can see
• Dave comes round to their house give Zalfie "business advice"
• Goes to the office for prob 10 mins: "Going through all the coverage for the collab" --- guess she skipped the criticism lol]
• Zoe proceeds to go home and change into her "coseys" because sis has worrkkkkkkedddd hard today lol [btw shes always cold -- quite sure that isn't normal]

WEDNESDAY

• In regards to the ColorPop launch "the comments have been so nice"
• What sad sad 24 year old left a comment on her Insta saying "I grabbed the whole PR package, sad to say I am 24 and never purchased makeup but couldn't pass this up" --- SOOO MUCH BETTER MAKEUP EXISTS GIRL
• Alfie decided offscreen to get naked -- childish behaviour
• Zoe then basically goes on like shes this relatable girl who isn't the best at makeup but likes being creative -- "what got me into makeup is watching everyday people like me buying makeup and trying it and having fun" [you live in a mansion and get gifted all your makeup but SUPPARR RELATABLE]
• "Yes they aren't the most extreme colours" -- LOL she saw those comments
• They go bouldering and Zoes socks are bang on the door -- if you don't know -- it was a big cartoon for teenage girls in the 90s -- she really needs to knock this 90s nostalgia
• SIDENOTE: ITS HER BIRTHDAY MONTH.....CUE DISGUSTING 90S THROWBACK PARTY
• After bouldering, in bed -- Alfie is eating like a toddler and Zoe says "HOW PROUD ARE YOU OF ME TODAY" --- jeezzz
• WOW NEW ZOE IS SWEARING IN VIDEOS AND ALFIE SAID DICK??!!! --- such adult content!!
• Alfie asking Zoe about her products "Is it selling fast" and Zoe responds "I don't mind how many sells I am just excited" -- because she knows it ain't selling out

SATURDAY

• Unnecessary breakfast montage with Zalfie, Soppy and Alexa and Steve
• Zoe didn't finish her pancakes blaming it on them being ricotta pancakes [didn't she read the menu] -- so went to Nandos [ofc]
• Then abrupt ending -- classic Zoella230390

In regards to her adding ColourPop in the video -- she should of linked and sectioned of the content that related to Colourpop and put AD when she started talking about it [Used the ASA Influencer guidelines they all ignore!!]

 

[disneys]

In Zoe's defence, people's orders arriving damaged is not on her at all. That's an issue with ColourPop and their distribution.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Lol when Zoe in her own vlog read out her fortune and no one listened and you can hear Dianne talking to Joe while Zoe is reading it. Joe and Alfie didn’t even include Zoe reading her fortune in their vlog because they did not carrrrre! ? Those vlogs were golden, just to see how insignificant Zoe has become. I just love it ?

It's hilarious. The wonderful thing is that Dianne isn't even being deliberately mean - she actually is nice to Zoe - she just doesn't see her as particularly interesting or important. Just the sibling. Going to see them out of duty to Joe. Dianne is someone Zoe has no idea at all how to handle. She is vibrant and fun and has no interest in Zoella's life at all.

 

[Yoghurtpots]

Zoe shared a few years ago that she was voted "The best looking" in either her class or year in her leavers year book. That suggests me to that she was an "it" girl. Prom queen type. Imo those girls in my year were horrid and bitchy. Find it hard to believe that she was the 'it' girl and sickly nice like she tries to portray.

 

[thenomad]

I don't love Dianne but I do enjoy that she is shutting down their annoying behavior and can see beyond the facade. She doesn't care to play an enabler like the rest of the Deyes clan. Good for Dianne, someone needs to tell those two to grow the eff up.

 

[StephenTJackson]

Sat through some of her vlog. It raised a question to me about this so called alogorithm regarding subscriptions boxes on YouTube, with them saying videos aren’t appearing in subscription boxes. But I’ve never experienced this allgorithm, I just get every video from any channel I’m subscribed to appearing in chronological order in my subscription feed. I don’t understand what this algorithm means, it just seems like something they’ve all made up to try and get people to press the notification bell - never pressed it for anyone.

There was a Q&A in the middle, I skipped it completely. Also the vlog ended very abruptly, I’m wondering where the rest of the vlog is, because surely not even Zoe would end a vlog with Sean putting potatoes in the oven to bake.

Off topic, but I’m saying it here because it was brought up here yesterday, about opinions on Sean and my personal opinion on him. I watched his vlog today and now I definitely don’t have any form of attraction for him after he spent half the video doing arty and drone shots of his run, and the rest of the video saying phrases like savage and send it, and bouncing around like a child. I would to revise my opinion on him to irritating fucker who needs to stop pretending to be like Alfie.

 

[StephenTJackson]

Comic Relief have made a YouTube video for their fundraising packs, and are very clearly parodying beauty gurus, but more specifically Zoella, they properly take this piss it’s great.

Must be tough for Zoe though, Joe gets to present on the live telethon on BBC One, while Zoe gets the piss taken out of her on YouTube.

 

[Gigglez]

Dianne is actually advertising Zoe's latest make up ?
View attachment 6564

I don’t think Dianne is petty like Zoe. I think she’s just real af about her interactions with people. She seems nice and not like a bitch. So maybe she’s genuinely being supportive. I find Dianne annoying at times but I love the fact that she is REAL. She doesn’t seemed to get offended easily like Zoe does so I am thinking this is supportive due to Z being J’s sister and the fact that D doesn’t hold grudges/get offended easily.

 

[cherry198]

Zalfie next?

 

[Cookies Monster]

I’m so here for people calling her out on the irony of her bringing out a fruit themed range of products when all she eats is pancakes, pizza, and dairylea and crisp baguettes [emoji23]

That was me!! Just couldn't resist!

 

[thenomad]

I didn’t watch the vlog but I’m disappointed Zoe is going back to blonde and you know she’s using Samantha Cusick to do the dye job. She needs a new colorist/hair stylist. After seeing Zoe’s transition from blonde to brunette and Tanya’s thin fried hair...Full stop just no. And Zoe being blonde won’t bring her back to her glory days. Nor will it get the people in her tiny inner circle to like her more than Dianne. And because Zoe is so lazy you know she’s going to have 9 in dark roots so she won’t actually be blonde. So looking forward to her skunk hair again. Not.

As for this palette and her makeup line. I’m not surprised she went back in time as Zoe is always looking to the past instead of living her life in the now. The theme makes no sense but I gave up trying to understand Zoe a long time ago... It’s ColourPop so the product(s) itself should be decent but that is in no way thanks to Zoe, who just stuck her name on for a collab. And she looks awful in her pictures and the promo video. I know she was sick but even photoshop couldn’t save her... Like yikes.

 

[thenomad]

I agree @Charlotte1993

No one should just 'settle' in their relationship. The rumblings of Zoe and Alfie having trouble in paradise isn't new either. This has been years in the making. Zoe is either really thick or thought she would be able to change Alfie's mind. When you agreed to live with him and near his family and friends... it's an environment in which they all enable Alfie's toxic man-baby ways. Of course, Alfie is never going to learn or mature. He's never had a reason to.

She jumped all in with Alfie by buying that mansion without realizing that Alfie gets the best of both worlds and doesn't have to give an inch in their relationship. He gets a nice house to live in, a 'girlfriend' for his thumbnails, and also gets to do his own thing with his friends. Having a life separate from your partner is perfectly fine but the fact Zoe and Alfie rarely do anything together other than to shop or go into work (when they can be bothered to) is pretty troubling. It's fine if pubs and rock climbing isn't Zoe's thing but that girl never wants to leave the house to do different things w/ Alfie. No wonder the relationship is in shambles. Business and the mansion is the only thing keeping them together. They don't share similar interests and hobbies. She has no friends other than Mark. She created a situation of her own making where she's dependent on Alfie since it's his circle of family and friends.

Even in their body language you can tell somethings off. Whether it's in photos and vlogs, it seems Zoe is always initiating touch like hand holding or complimenting/giving praise to Alfie. And WHEN Alfie does initiate affection it's strictly for the views but not because he fancies her. I would feel bad but these two are so awful. So unless Zoe grows up and finally moves on w/o Alfie, all her moaning and whining is not going to garner any sympathy from me. She's got the means, the time, and opportunity to move on. There are no kids to make the separation more difficult either. Instead she wants to hang onto her dead-in-the-water relationship for some inane reason. If Alfie was a great boyfriend I'd understand but he's not even that. A wet cardboard box has more personality than him. She needs to move on instead of obsessing over a ring and thinking it will magically fix their relationship.

 

[thenomad]

Yeah Mark and Zoe's 'friendship' won't last the second Mark is in a serious relationship. She's too insecure and jealous to be happy for Mark. Mark's follow up in her latest vlog where she was talking about how they don't hang out every week was pretty telling. He's over it.

At least Zoe has Poppy to fall back on if that's some sort of consolation...

 

[cherry198]

I've never properly thought about just how much Zoe's given up for him.She moved to his hometown,ditched her own family for his,all of her 'friends' are in some way related to him,she's the one that owned that house,she's given up her 'dream life' of the whole settled married family life for him.My mum told me once to compromise but never sacrifice as once you give up all your hopes and dreams for someone elses,youre done for.

 

[Gigglez]

because whether we like it or not we still live in a rather racist and conservative society and this comes from a middle class white woman.

Actually, to add to this, race does play a part in how we AGE. That’s not being racist. Less melanin is in white/caucasian skin, therefore has less melanocytes to protect the skin, which scientifically means that white skinned individuals can age quicker than say, african or asian races. Also genetics and lifestyle factors play a part, but race does too. That’s scientific not racist

 

[cherry198]

When Joe was on strictly Zoe seemed to really like Dianne and was forever saying her and Joe were great. What changed? Do you think they'll ever be friends or has that shipped sailed never to return. As it's going to be really awkward/strange at future friend events and family events.

When they were on strictly they weren’t public with their relationship yet and I think Zoe was actually happy for her brother.But then they announced it and they were all over social media,in the press,being chased by paps,they even appeared on bbc news with those engagement rumours.

I remember when they went to those treehouses and someone played that Joanne song and she said I wonder if there’s a zalfie song.And then last weekend when Joe was premiering his new video and the comments were talking about engagement,pregnancy and Zoe said now you know how it feels to be us we get that all the time.She always has to make everything about her she totally believes her own hype and that zalfie are ‘THE yt couple’?

 

[GossWhore]

Guyzzz it's not Zoes fault! She doesn't drink so she doesn't know what a mimosa is. She also has a small pea head so can't retain lots of info so probably forgot. Did I mention her head is small


Nobody:
Zoe: My head is sooo small


Lool sorry to go off. But mimosa? Should of called it "bedsheet color" since that's the colour they'll be if she continues to sloth in them

 

[GossWhore]

What about #ShitMyBoyfriendDOESNOTbuy

- AN engagement ring [emoji23]