Did you hear about Elvis Presley’s mouse?
It was caught in a trap.
It was caught in a trap.
Ok I actually laughed out loud at this one
Last edited:
-
Jessica Taylor Exposed - VictimFocus employee chats about sending dog poo to CSA survivors and threatening any employees with taking everything they owned if they spoke out. The not-a-medial-doctor refused to give any evidence for any of her claims and has an extensive history of falsely reporting vulnerable women that speak up to the police for stalking and harassment. Listen now.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I read a great book about helium last night.
I couldn’t put it down!
I couldn’t put it down!
Two Nuns were cycling along a cobbled street.
One said: “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other said: “It must be the cobbles.”
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************
A man was walking through a hotel lobby when he accidently bumped into a woman, his elbow hitting her right breast.
”Ma’am.” he apologised, “if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
”Sir,” she replied, “if your fool is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 219.”
One said: “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other said: “It must be the cobbles.”
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************
A man was walking through a hotel lobby when he accidently bumped into a woman, his elbow hitting her right breast.
”Ma’am.” he apologised, “if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
”Sir,” she replied, “if your fool is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 219.”
This thread should come with a trigger warning! I choked on my tea when reading your postTwo Nuns were cycling along a cobbled street.
One said: “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other said: “It must be the cobbles.”
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************
A man was walking through a hotel lobby when he accidently bumped into a woman, his elbow hitting her right breast.
”Ma’am.” he apologised, “if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
”Sir,” she replied, “if your fool is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 219.”
Glad it made you laugh. Hope you’ve stopped coughing and spluttering now.This thread should come with a trigger warning! I choked on my tea when reading your post
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Whatever you do, don't read it !
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? - He’s fully recovered.
What is " Shish, boom, baa ? "
The sound an exploding sheep makes.
The sound an exploding sheep makes.
What is the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her old used crack and re-sell it.
A hooker can wash her old used crack and re-sell it.
There were 3 women and they all died.
They all went to heaven and when they met St Peter at the pearly gates he said just one thing to them
'No matter what you do ladies, DON'T stand on the ducks'
They got into heaven and there were ducks everywhere. Quack quack
Weeks passed and none of the women stood on a duck. Until one day woman 1 stood on a duck...
'Ohhhhh tit! What happens now!' Woman 1 panicked.
St Peter appeared, 'you've stood on a duck you dozy cow. Your punishment is you have to be handcuffed to the ugliest bloke you've ever seen
He handcuffed them and women 1 was disgusted at how weird this fella was
Weeks passed and the others didn't stand on a duck. When suddenly... woman 2 stood on a duck
St Peter appeared. 'What do you think you're doing! Standing on a duck!' And he handcuffed her to the ugliest man she had seen
Years passed and woman 3 never stood on a duck. Buzzin she was.
When suddenly... St Peter appeared and said nothing to her... but handcuffed her to the most gorgeous man she had ever seen, then left
'I wonder what i done to be handcuffed to you!' Woman 1 said
'I dunno.' The bloke replied. 'But I stood on a duck'
They all went to heaven and when they met St Peter at the pearly gates he said just one thing to them
'No matter what you do ladies, DON'T stand on the ducks'
They got into heaven and there were ducks everywhere. Quack quack
Weeks passed and none of the women stood on a duck. Until one day woman 1 stood on a duck...
'Ohhhhh tit! What happens now!' Woman 1 panicked.
St Peter appeared, 'you've stood on a duck you dozy cow. Your punishment is you have to be handcuffed to the ugliest bloke you've ever seen
He handcuffed them and women 1 was disgusted at how weird this fella was
Weeks passed and the others didn't stand on a duck. When suddenly... woman 2 stood on a duck
St Peter appeared. 'What do you think you're doing! Standing on a duck!' And he handcuffed her to the ugliest man she had seen
Years passed and woman 3 never stood on a duck. Buzzin she was.
When suddenly... St Peter appeared and said nothing to her... but handcuffed her to the most gorgeous man she had ever seen, then left
'I wonder what i done to be handcuffed to you!' Woman 1 said
'I dunno.' The bloke replied. 'But I stood on a duck'
OMG loving these jokes.
Some hilarious ones on hereOMG loving these jokes.
Did you hear about the guy who died in the Nestle factory?
A load of chocolate fell on him, and anytime he shouted 'the milkybars are on me!' Everyone cheered!
A load of chocolate fell on him, and anytime he shouted 'the milkybars are on me!' Everyone cheered!
Why was the man arrested for waiting in the marquee?
He was loitering within tent.
He was loitering within tent.
What has two grey legs and two brown legs ? An elephant with diarrhoea !
A woman went to a small town hardware store and told the owner that she needed a new door handle.
He fetched one and asked: “You wanna screw for that?”
She looked around the store and said: “No, but I’ll blow ya for that toaster over there.”
He fetched one and asked: “You wanna screw for that?”
She looked around the store and said: “No, but I’ll blow ya for that toaster over there.”
Archaeologists found what that think was the first ever les dinosaur
They called it Lickalotapus
They called it Lickalotapus
What does tofu and a dildo have in common?
They are both meat substitutes
They are both meat substitutes