What the most common type of owl in the British Isles?
A teat
Think about it .....
A teat
Think about it .....
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Jessica Taylor Exposed - Her company WhatsApp group spoke about posting poo to a CSA survivor and threatened employees with taking their entire assets if they whistleblew. The not-a-medical-doctor refused to give any evidence for any of her claims and has an extensive history of falsely reporting vulnerable women that speak up to the police for stalking and harassment. Listen now!
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Why was the young strawberry crying?
His mother was in a jam.
His mother was in a jam.
What did Wenclaslas eat on the feast of Steven?
Pizza. Deep pan , crisp and even .
Pizza. Deep pan , crisp and even .
What was the snowman doing looking at carrots ?
Picking his nose !
Picking his nose !
I was just in the queue at Tesco when Diana Ross tried to push in...
I said, “You can’t hurry love, you’ll just have to wait...”
I said, “You can’t hurry love, you’ll just have to wait...”
A magician was working on a cruise ship with his trained parrot with what was a half magic, half comedy act.
He would perform an illusion and the parrot would immediately squawk to the audience things like, " It was up his sleeve ! It was up his sleeve ! " and reveal secret compartments in a trick cabinet for laughs.
They were about halfway through the act when the ships boiler suddenly exploded, destroying the ship completely. As luck would have it they were both thrown clear, dazed, but relatively unharmed. They then managed to make their way onto a floating piece of debris.
After a while the parrot turned and squawked, " OK, I give up... What did you do with the bleeping ship !? "
He would perform an illusion and the parrot would immediately squawk to the audience things like, " It was up his sleeve ! It was up his sleeve ! " and reveal secret compartments in a trick cabinet for laughs.
They were about halfway through the act when the ships boiler suddenly exploded, destroying the ship completely. As luck would have it they were both thrown clear, dazed, but relatively unharmed. They then managed to make their way onto a floating piece of debris.
After a while the parrot turned and squawked, " OK, I give up... What did you do with the bleeping ship !? "
Apparently Arsenal football club have signed Father Christmas on a free transfer
His best position is Santa forward
His best position is Santa forward
I really need help with my sex addiction... I've tried bleeping everything !!
For Sale:
One parachute
Only used once
Never opened
One parachute
Only used once
Never opened
A man walks into a bar. OUCH!! 
What's Postman Pat's real name?
Pat
Pat
Why are lesbians bad at home cooking?
Because they love to eat out!
Because they love to eat out!
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint
Blue paint
How do you make lady gaga cry?
poker face
(this was the first joke my daughter told that made sense)
what do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
doyouthinkhesawus?
poker face
(this was the first joke my daughter told that made sense)
what do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
doyouthinkhesawus?
These both need said out loud. They make our kids howl every time 
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Europe
Europe who?
NO YOU ARE!
And the equally intellectual:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
iMap
iMap who?
I KNOW YOU ARE!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Europe
Europe who?
NO YOU ARE!
And the equally intellectual:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
iMap
iMap who?
I KNOW YOU ARE!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?...
Nobody knows
Nobody knows
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
A little hoarse.
Why was the ship called 3.14?
Because it was a pi -rate ship.
Because it was a pi -rate ship.