Please don’t blame yourself. You shouldn’t have to ask your partner to do those things, you are an equal partnership. Hope you’re ok lovely and things start looking up for you xx
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Yesterday, because I was thinking about my mum (who died in 1994) and I realised I can't 'hear' her voice in my head anymore. How can I have forgotten what my own mother's voice sounded like? 
Got a bit upset about that and the unfairness of life generally, that she never got to meet my children, and vice versa. She was such a brilliant mum and would have made a wonderful nanna. I have such a fortunate life in many ways but as a good friend once said, my mum dying when I was 21 (and dad when I was 25) has cast a big shadow over it.
Sorry to anyone having a tit time.
Got a bit upset about that and the unfairness of life generally, that she never got to meet my children, and vice versa. She was such a brilliant mum and would have made a wonderful nanna. I have such a fortunate life in many ways but as a good friend once said, my mum dying when I was 21 (and dad when I was 25) has cast a big shadow over it.
Sorry to anyone having a tit time.
Your story is very similar to mine. Aged 27, two small children, a fiancé.
Mine and my fiancé’s work patterns sometimes completely mismatch and we don’t see each other for days at a time. If I’m not at work, I’m at home being a busy mother to two very young children. It’s exhausting. I crave one-on-one time with my fiancé - just to have adult conversation and not be tidying up or wiping bums.
I guess my point is that I increasingly feel more and more lonely. There’s nothing much that can be done because we need to work as our finances are tight, so that comes before my feelings right now. It’s just one of those things, I guess. Hopefully time with improve it.
Tonight. I’m attending a funeral tomorrow morning after I drop my kids off at school/nursery. It’s for a close family friend’s baby, and it just makes me feel really sad thinking about it. 
Yesterday i had to sort my late partners drawers his pjs and socks and after 3 years of him being gone it feels like he's never lived here 
At the moment it’s pretty much every day at some point. My mental health isn’t great, I’ve had a lot to deal with. But crying isn’t a bad thing.
This morning. Woke up feeling a bit down, and then saw a couple of posts on Facebook that ended up with me crying, because of an overwhelming feeling that I have achieved nothing with my life.
I’m 33, yes I own a house, but no kids, a well paid job that I don’t particularly enjoy, I’ve not really travelled, I don’t really have many friends.. in all honesty I have little to show for my 33 years on this planet. I just wonder what I’m doing wrong sometimes.
I’m 33, yes I own a house, but no kids, a well paid job that I don’t particularly enjoy, I’ve not really travelled, I don’t really have many friends.. in all honesty I have little to show for my 33 years on this planet. I just wonder what I’m doing wrong sometimes.
This morning. I woke up feeling tit anyway but then I had an argument with my fella that just topped the whole thing off and I had a good cry 
Right now. Ive come back to my home town for a few days and realised I really miss it and don't want to go back 
Last night. I’ve had a really heavy week. On Monday I attended the funeral of a friend’s baby daughter who died of SIDS and it was the most heartbreaking thing. The kids went back to school that same day so I was very busy getting organised and doing school runs. My youngest son received his long-awaited autism diagnosis on Tuesday; he is 4 at the end of the month and a bolter, walking to school and back has been hellish this week because he absolutely fights against holding my hand. He’s bolted out onto the busy main road twice already this week (luckily I’m fast and caught him in time) and my hands are covered in scratches and cuts and bite marks because he becomes enraged and attacks me for not letting him go.
I’m just trying to keep him safe but it’s so hard because he just doesn’t understand and has no awareness of danger. I’ve tried all sorts of safety harnesses and reins but he just refuses to move; I even had a wrist strap that connected us but he figured out how to take it off. Today I’ve resorted to putting gloves on him (gloves in August, I know right?) just to stop him scratching me to bits. Doesn’t stop the biting and screaming but at least my hands are getting a bit of a break. I’m so glad it’s Friday and my OH will be home to help over the weekend. I’ll be drinking plenty of gin tonight once they’re in bed.
The kids went back to school that same day so I was very busy getting organised and doing school runs. My youngest son received his long-awaited autism diagnosis on Tuesday; he is 4 at the end of the month and a bolter, walking to school and back has been hellish this week because he absolutely fights against holding my hand. He’s bolted out onto the busy main road twice already this week (luckily I’m fast and caught him in time) and my hands are covered in scratches and cuts and bite marks because he becomes enraged and attacks me for not letting him go. I’m just trying to keep him safe but it’s so hard because he just doesn’t understand and has no awareness of danger. I’ve tried all sorts of safety harnesses and reins but he just refuses to move; I even had a wrist strap that connected us but he figured out how to take it off. Today I’ve resorted to putting gloves on him (gloves in August, I know right?) just to stop him scratching me to bits. Doesn’t stop the biting and screaming but at least my hands are getting a bit of a break. I’m so glad it’s Friday and my OH will be home to help over the weekend. I’ll be drinking plenty of gin tonight once they’re in bed.
When I bought home my cats ashes on Monday.
I read an article on my local news website that a foal had been found set on fire. Then they posted the photos of it.
it absolutely broke me! Couldn’t sleep all night! There’s one thing in this world I absolutely cannot abide is violence towards children & animals, they’re so innocent and cannot defend themselves.
I have donated to the horse sanctuary that he is now being looked after at, it’s a long recovery ahead for him
it absolutely broke me! Couldn’t sleep all night! There’s one thing in this world I absolutely cannot abide is violence towards children & animals, they’re so innocent and cannot defend themselves.
I have donated to the horse sanctuary that he is now being looked after at, it’s a long recovery ahead for him
People can be so cruel. I hope he can make a good recovery, poor thing.I read an article on my local news website that a foal had been found set on fire. Then they posted the photos of it.
it absolutely broke me! Couldn’t sleep all night! There’s one thing in this world I absolutely cannot abide is violence towards children & animals, they’re so innocent and cannot defend themselves.
I have donated to the horse sanctuary that he is now being looked after at, it’s a long recovery ahead for him
About three years ago. I had bought a dress that had a necklace like fastening round the neck and my husband couldn't get it fastened and I lost my temper and boohooed my eyes out. It actually might have more to do with the fact that my mum had died two months before, but it took the annoying dress to get me started. Before that, it was probably about 5 years. I don't like crying and it never makes me feel better.
Today I thought I was doing well but clearly not. Had an argument with a guy I'm seeing and tbh I'm considering calling the whole thing off as I'm really upset, and I shouldn't be feeling like this so early on.
I thought I was doing well but clearly not. Had an argument with a guy I'm seeing and tbh I'm considering calling the whole thing off as I'm really upset, and I shouldn't be feeling like this so early on.Today, twice.
This morning when I read this story about a little 11 year old who set up a small hut to sell potatoes and strawberries with his dad when he got robbed by an ADULT couple who distracted him to steal his €250 from his cash register/jar. I couldn't hold my tears. How on earth as a grown adult steal from a child who is trying to help his dad all whilst learning about how to handle money and business? You have to be a pretty low-level human being. I would have personally even given him a tip!
Then, on the bus, on my way to IKEA as the rain was pouring - perfect scene right there (thank god, no one was around)! I got a an audio text from a friend I had cut-off because she ignored me in public then suddenly decided to text me. She has less experience than I do with less prestigious credentials and is rather insecure (I know for fact because I used to work with her and she bombed an interview I gave her a reference for). Yet, she was approached for an AVP role. It seems literally every single one of my former colleagues has now made it to AVP or Manager for some even with less prestigious credentials/ years of experience and I'm still nowhere near AVP. Every single time I see or hear an update about a former peer, it's either Manager or AVP. I'm still an "analyst" after 7 years and it kills my soul because I got the awards in a previous company, have the Big4 name, I have the big banks names, have the law degrees in two legal systems including the local one, have the 4 languages. I ticked all the "well-rounded" boxes. What else does the market want from me at this point? Sell a kidney? Even when I get approached for roles, it's still for entry-level. I don't understand and I'm seriously starting to think there is some hidden racism somewhere.
I simply cannot comprehend anymore. I'm capable, smart, confident, educated and have a good CV, yet I'm still stuck at entry-level. What is the point of all this? I sacrificed my social life in college to focus on my degrees, I've sacrificed my personal life to climb a corporate ladder that doesn't want me to climb it. I sacrificed my mental and physical health for nothing. What exactly is the purpose of all this? Just go to work, be told I do a great job, get nowhere, then auto-pilot rinse and repeat all day every day, all year every year.
I couldn't even enjoy my IKEA trip because I kept thinking about this on repeat. I love Ireland and Dublin, but I'm seriously contemplating leaving the country because clearly I'm not operating at my full potential and employers aren't seeing the potential either. Or alternatively, switch industries but the way the country is headed, probably not. I don't know what to do with myself anymore
. I'm so confused.
I can only imagine my former manager / peers who disliked me in that company where I got awards, amazing feedbacks from higher managements & clients ... I can only imagine them laughing thinking "she thought she was going to make it and she's nowhere. Everyone has already surpassed her. Clearly, she thought she was better than she actually is".
This morning when I read this story about a little 11 year old who set up a small hut to sell potatoes and strawberries with his dad when he got robbed by an ADULT couple who distracted him to steal his €250 from his cash register/jar. I couldn't hold my tears. How on earth as a grown adult steal from a child who is trying to help his dad all whilst learning about how to handle money and business? You have to be a pretty low-level human being. I would have personally even given him a tip!
Then, on the bus, on my way to IKEA as the rain was pouring - perfect scene right there (thank god, no one was around)! I got a an audio text from a friend I had cut-off because she ignored me in public then suddenly decided to text me. She has less experience than I do with less prestigious credentials and is rather insecure (I know for fact because I used to work with her and she bombed an interview I gave her a reference for). Yet, she was approached for an AVP role. It seems literally every single one of my former colleagues has now made it to AVP or Manager for some even with less prestigious credentials/ years of experience and I'm still nowhere near AVP. Every single time I see or hear an update about a former peer, it's either Manager or AVP. I'm still an "analyst" after 7 years and it kills my soul because I got the awards in a previous company, have the Big4 name, I have the big banks names, have the law degrees in two legal systems including the local one, have the 4 languages. I ticked all the "well-rounded" boxes. What else does the market want from me at this point? Sell a kidney? Even when I get approached for roles, it's still for entry-level. I don't understand and I'm seriously starting to think there is some hidden racism somewhere.
I simply cannot comprehend anymore. I'm capable, smart, confident, educated and have a good CV, yet I'm still stuck at entry-level. What is the point of all this? I sacrificed my social life in college to focus on my degrees, I've sacrificed my personal life to climb a corporate ladder that doesn't want me to climb it. I sacrificed my mental and physical health for nothing. What exactly is the purpose of all this? Just go to work, be told I do a great job, get nowhere, then auto-pilot rinse and repeat all day every day, all year every year.
I couldn't even enjoy my IKEA trip because I kept thinking about this on repeat. I love Ireland and Dublin, but I'm seriously contemplating leaving the country because clearly I'm not operating at my full potential and employers aren't seeing the potential either. Or alternatively, switch industries but the way the country is headed, probably not. I don't know what to do with myself anymore
. I'm so confused. I can only imagine my former manager / peers who disliked me in that company where I got awards, amazing feedbacks from higher managements & clients ... I can only imagine them laughing thinking "she thought she was going to make it and she's nowhere. Everyone has already surpassed her. Clearly, she thought she was better than she actually is".
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Today while watching an old black and white melodrama, they're the only films I watch so hankies are always nearby 
I had a cry last night about how lonely I am. I got over it quickly though. Xxx
Unsolicited advice AlertToday
I was in the same predicament once, please give it time so you know where to adjust /back off/talk it out. When you are vastly different in the way you react to things it is possible to work things out. The main thing is you realise this, and you're half way there
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