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Today. I've realised that things are getting on top of me. I'm at a point where I feel like I may have to give up my rented home and move back in to my parents for a while to allow me to save money. I left a 10 year relationship a while back so have struggled slightly financially since then & now everything is increasing, including my rent and my wage is simply not enough. My ex and father to my son provides nothing in terms of maintenance because he isn't working and hasn't for a while due to his mental health. Luckily, my parents are more than happy to have me and my son there & have always been so supportive & have been telling me to do it for ages but my pride got in the way. I'm 34 and shouldn't be in this position. Single parenting is so difficult when it comes to money. My uncle has been diagnosed with bowel cancer & we're a very close family so it's upsetting. My job makes me cry with frustration because we're so overworked currently (NHS) and we're being shouted at by patients daily. The abuse we get is unreal. That's difficult to handle when you're already struggling mentally. I miss my best friend of 10 years who has completely removed herself from our friendship group since meeting a man and becoming pregnant after 2 months, she was also my sons godmother so its hurting right now. I also realised she deleted me and my other friends off facebook this week. Such a kick in the teeth. The world is just tit right now isn't it.
sending love to you 
Right now. Just lost it with my son as he won’t sleep and is making a pain he has 1000x worse by thrashing about in bed saying it hurts. I feel like such a terrible parent. There’s nothing I can do to help him right now except stay calm and help him through it and I couldn’t even do that.
Last night watching a film
This morning, because I am a hormonal mess and the slightest wee thing will either make me cry or explode. 
Last week although I feel like I could cry at any second. Life feels a bit much right now. I feel like I have no real friends. My relationship is up and down. I had a miscarriage two weeks ago and it kinda felt like my last chance to have another baby. I’m 31 and I can’t imagine myself doing it much later then this everybody around me seems so happy and content with life and I’m a 31 year old mess
you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for, stay strong, I know it’s tough but it gets better with time 
This morning twice over my work/life balance. There isn't enough hours in the day and I need to split myself in 4 
Just now seeing someone post they’re 31 and trying for another baby and can’t imagine doing it much later. I’m 31, no baby and nowhere near in a place to be trying yet. I want one but unsure if I’m with the right person and I want to be in a better place with my career and finances. It’s tough.
I wasn’t going to reply to this as I know it’s about my post. Comparison really is the thief of joy. We may be the same age and at completely different stages in our lives but that doesn’t mean I’m happier then you are. I look at my childless friends sometimes and think god wish I had that freedom and I’m sure they look at me like god wish I had your family. I had my son quite young (24 when I got pregnant) so the only reason it feels like now or never for me is because he’s almost 6 and I just think about the age gap and the baby years again not because 31 is too old
I met loads of mums the first time round at a hang group and they were all in their late 30’s!We’ve had to have our family dog put to sleep earlier and I’m broken
Big hugs to you. I had to say goodbye to my sweet dog almost two weeks ago and I'm in the crying every damn day phase. Broken is the word. Let it all out. Crying is healing. Take your time.
Aw thank you, she was epileptic and unfortunately couldn’t bring herself out of the seizure she had. House feels very empty without herBig hugs to you. I had to say goodbye to my sweet dog almost two weeks ago and I'm in the crying every damn day phase. Broken is the word. Let it all out. Crying is healing. Take your time.
This week. I’m quite ill and nobody knows what’s actually wrong with me. And to top it off this month multiple doctors, nurses and A&E have missed not one, but two infections and deficiencies despite me repeatedly asking them to check them. They were too busy telling me ‘I’m just stressed’. I’m on the right medication now and have gone private but it’s been extremely upsetting feeling so horrendously ill and having so called medical professionals telling you it’s in your head. I understand there’s a lot of compassion fatigue around at the moment but these were basic tests. I ended up telling NHS111 that I refused to go back to A&E because they didn’t even do basic tests despite me having ongoing and new high blood pressure and chest pains too and she was genuinely horrified. And that’s not including the other problems they missed! Women are dying all too often because their symptoms and knowledge of their own bodies aren’t respected. I’m considering filing a complaint when I feel better.
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Right now. Spent the entire day in a depressive state, and I don’t know why. Lately I really think the only reason I’m still here is because of my 1 year old. I don’t want him to be without his mummy but sometimes I think maybe he/my family would be better off without me
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Yesterday lunchtime after receiving a text from a work colleague to tell me they’re going to be off next week as they’re unwell. I will have to cover their job and my job and there’s simply not enough of me to go around, feel like Im going to let people down as I won’t be able to do everything and just feels like I have a huge tit storm coming my way when I turn up to work tomorrow morning. Today is going to be an anxiety-filled Sunday
Last night. I feel so alone.
oof, it’s a miracle i don’t cry everyday. pretty sure that i have depression, and i’m doing my very best to protect my kids from it (within reason, a robotic all singing all dancing parent is not the ideal).
the last few years have been truly awful with bereavements and the pandemic. i’m so mad at the world. my work for pushing me too hard and too far. people for showing who they truly are and shattering all my illusions so i can barely stand to be around them. it’s like i’m done giving people another chance and being the ‘bigger person’, if they show nastiness now i’d rather not spend any time in their company.
i know i need to move past the anger and embrace the amazing life i have with my family, but it’s such a struggle. right now i’m hanging in there and hoping for it to lift.
the last few years have been truly awful with bereavements and the pandemic. i’m so mad at the world. my work for pushing me too hard and too far. people for showing who they truly are and shattering all my illusions so i can barely stand to be around them. it’s like i’m done giving people another chance and being the ‘bigger person’, if they show nastiness now i’d rather not spend any time in their company.
i know i need to move past the anger and embrace the amazing life i have with my family, but it’s such a struggle. right now i’m hanging in there and hoping for it to lift.
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