This is absolute goldWorks Xmas party. A senior manager asked me, in front of my hubby, what my hubby had that he didn’t. To which I replied very loudly “a big cock”. I was mortified to discover this the next day although everyone else found it hilarious
Works Xmas party. A senior manager asked me, in front of my hubby, what my hubby had that he didn’t. To which I replied very loudly “a big cock”. I was mortified to discover this the next day although everyone else found it hilarious
Yes he totally deserved it (even if he was drunk). Hubby thought it was the perfect comebackTo be fair, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your senior manager but that is a very rude thing to ask someone anyway but in front of their husband?!
It is hilarious though and quite frankly imo the guy deserved it
Same! I tell people that I rarely drink because I’m WAY to much fun/trouble when I do and seriously they ain’t ready for thatPeople think I’m boring now as I don’t drink much. I think it’s because I did so much stupid shit in my 20’s I like an easy drama free life now
Fat Welsh cuntAbout 25 years ago I went to a work Christmas do. I'd left the company the previous summer but was still in touch with people so got invited back. We started off on Campari and soda and I was pissed before even arriving. I did a table dance, interrupted a speech one of the Directors gave to call him a 'fat welsh cunt' and propositioned a junior IT guy in a cab on the way home asking him if he'd like me to suck his cock. I was MORTIFIED for years afterwards, I wrote a letter to the Director to apologise but he wasn't having it. I was yellow for the next month as my liver was so overloaded. Dire.
Oh god that’s amazing, I can’t believe you pooped on your mates clothesI was sick all over a table at my brother in laws engagement party
I was at a works charity night. Having already handed in my notice and full of vodka I spent a lot of the night telling the area manager what I hated about the company. Fast forward a few months and the new job wasn't what I thought it was and I ended up back at the old company. I have no idea why they gave me that job back.
After a night out my friend stayed back at mine. In the morning I had a vague recollection of getting up at some point to go to the toilet. But apparently I hadn't made it to the actual toilet. I had pissed and taken a shit on her clothes she'd left in a pile on the floorI was absolutely mortified. A few years later I learned that she was actually a massive cunt so I don't feel bad about it now.
Oh god that’s amazing, I can’t believe you pooped on your mates clothes
YOU ARE A HERO!Went out with some other Mums- first time drinking after having my son so hadn't drunk in forever. Got steaming but managed the 1000 yrd walk home from the local pub just fine and staggered into bed. All fine eh?! Nope.
I'd inadvertently pressed the power button on my mobile 3 times in quick succession when I was trying to turn my phone off when I got into bed (I never even knew that was a thing...I was just stabbing drunkenly at the button to make it turn off!) and it activated the SOS protocol on my phone. It then sent SOS messages to the emergency contacts in my phone (older step-kids,parents,husband).
My parents had their phones turned off, my step-kids thought I was joking so ignored it, and hubby had his phone on silent. (note to self- must find more reliable emergency contacts)
First we knew was when the local police turned up on our doorstep the next morning to make a welfare check. I shit you not. I was SO hungover and then I had the shame of my husband answering the doorbell and inviting me downstairs to confirm to the police that I was indeed alive and well.
Neighbours were all curtain twitching (cul-de-sac)and my young kids rubbed it in by asking a million questions -" Why were the police here Mummy?" "Are they looking for criminals?"Did you do something naughty Mummy?" (**Mummy can barely stand up straight cherub, and she urgently needs some Lucozade and a KFC so kindly give it a FUCKIN REST with the inquisitive questions eh?**)
I did manage a joke with them that if I'd been in genuine trouble they were about 10 hours too fucking late. Their deadpan faces told me that I may still be drunk, and my ungratefullness was wholly inappropriate.
I was 38 years old and a mother of 3 at the time.
I have attached a screenshot of the button on your phone settings to turn off if you wish to avoid my situation. Honestly, I am happy to run the risk of dying alone without the aid of a final SOS rather than that happening again.
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