What would you do if your partner did this ?

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Raininvain

I'd say he needs to decide what he wants to do either be tidy and respectful or living on his own because you cant cope with him and a baby at the same time.
What a slob, theres no reason he cant put his wrappers in the bin and leaving wanked over socks there is just awful. I'd say if he does anything like this again then I was putting a photo on Facebook/Instagram for advise to see what his family,work colleagues would do.
 
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Thedutchess

If it was me, I’d put some baskets there...a laundry one and a rubbish one. Really pointedly tell him he can put all the “rubbish he normally leaves there” and “socks” in the baskets. If you have tried to talk to him like an adult and asked him not to and he still won’t just make your life easier, it’ll be better for your sanity and life anyway. All the other issues need addressed but how you want to do that is probably best for you. Example texting him and saying you want to talk about it at dinner and doing so or having a discussion off the cuff in the car or something where he can’t escape.
 
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Loveitme

I told him last night that he had no respect for me as when I came home he had left a pair of (none cum stained ) socks and some shorts he wore to bed or should I say sofa on the sofa.This morning there is a fucking chocolate bar rapper on the sofa .I don’t understand what is so difficult ! You know if it was just now and again I wouldn’t mind I’m not perfect myself ,if he left them over night and then binned them when he woke in the morning then ok but it’s constant ! I don’t want to do the basket thing because I don’t really want them next to the sofa plus I think he’s not a child why should I .I expect my 6 yr old to walk to the bin with her rubbish so why should I make exceptions for him? So as I’m the one who does the food shop I will no longer be buying any biscuits crisps choc etc ! I’ll just keep anything I buy for my daughter and I elsewhere .I do agree with what others have said that I need to have a proper conversation about how much some of the things he does and how little he helps bother me.It’s not even the fact he doesn’t help it’s the fact he makes life harder for me and gives me extra work which bothers me .I already do all the housework but don’t make it harder for me .It’s like having a third child !
 
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BettyCrocker

why are you even with this guy?? Serious question.
 
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Gertrude

I am sorry that you're going through all of this, can't be easy with a baby and small child. A proper chat is a good idea and if he doesn't listen and begin to make changes in his behaviour, you should seriously think about whether you need this man in your life. Like someone mentioned earlier, he should be making your life easier, not causing you distress. If this continues, you will begin to resent him and every single thing he does will annoy you.
 
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Phoenix Lazarus

Loveitme said:
I told him last night that he had no respect for me as when I came home he had left a pair of (none cum stained ) socks and some shorts he wore to bed or should I say sofa on the sofa.This morning there is a fucking chocolate bar rapper on the sofa .
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'Chocolate bar rapper'!? I'm just trying to imagine that!

"Now this rap's about chocolate, listen up yeah
If it's used for a teapot, it sure don't wear
A pair of big Easter eggs look like boobs
And the bar called Curly Wurlys sounds like pubes!"
 
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Missgobby124

Wow!! That is so disgusting so sorry you have to deal with this. I’d say leave his mess on purpose and let it mount up, then maybe he’ll realise how disgusting that is. But wow the sock thing, Im so shocked at that! If I was you I’d go completely radio silent on him so he understands what he’s done is not on. No excuse
 
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Happyvalley

Honestly, all jokes aside how are you actually getting on? Because it does sound like there’s more issues than him being a lazy slob (which he totally is). Why does he stay downstairs when you’re in bed, is it shift patterns? Because it sounds like you’re not spending any time together as a couple, you’re being left with all the childcare and cleaning and he sounds like a single bloke.

I have been through all of this...my ex used to stay up until the early hours smoking, drinking and wanking . Never found a sock but plenty of towels I eventually kicked him out for lots of reasons but if you’re not enjoying time together or making each other happy in general then it’s time to re-evaluate. Good luck.
 
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Loveitme

Hi I’m ok Thankyou ,my baby is on the mend so I feel less stressed.My partner doesn’t work shifts ,he leaves about 7.30 and returns at 5ish.Not sure why he stays downstairs other than to wank apparently (and also vape and he drinks at the weekend)I feel like he’s gone off me since I’ve had our baby . We don’t do anything together but I just put it down to lockdown and having kids
 
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D

Definitelyme

So glad to hear your son is doing better.
 
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SassyRiv77

Sounds like you are both really unhappy and need a good chat together to see if it’s able to be fixed
 
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Sweetsunrise

So so happy your baby is getting better Talk to your partner about how he’s making you feel, try and make dinner together and have a talk. I’m sure if you really explain, he will listen to you, good luck
 
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Say What

That is the most grim thing I’ve ever heard. You’ve my full respect for living with a man like that. I’d have stuffed his wanky sock down his throat!
 
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Happyvalley

Lockdown and kids is tough going. You’ve told him that the mess is annoying you so he should have the respect to try a bit harder. Hope things get better for you,
 
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Loveitme

Happyvalley said:
Lockdown and kids is tough going. You’ve told him that the mess is annoying you so he should have the respect to try a bit harder. Hope things get better for you,
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Honestly I’m sick of trying to get him to show me any sort of attention or affection.What is the point in only me trying ,I don’t have the time or energy yet I still try and get nothing on return
 
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Lulu Goss

Loveitme said:
Honestly I’m sick of trying to get him to show me any sort of attention or affection.What is the point in only me trying ,I don’t have the time or energy yet I still try and get nothing on return
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Have you told him you’re feeling like this? Sounds like he’s not making any effort which is poor on his part anyway but especially when you have a new baby - he should be pulling his weight and supporting you!
 
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Loveitme

Lulu Goss said:
Have you told him you’re feeling like this? Sounds like he’s not making any effort which is poor on his part anyway but especially when you have a new baby - he should be pulling his weight and supporting you!
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Well I’ve just gone downstairs after waiting 45 min to come up to bed to watch tv together and he’s asleep on the couch .I just asked if he actually wanted to spend time with me and he didn’t say anything .He’s now come to bed and completely ignored me and gone to sleep so I guess the talking won’t be happening tonight

Next year he wants us to move to his hometown half an hour away which would involve taking my eldest out of school and right now I just feel like why should I .
 
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Wellthisisinteresting

Why are boys so god damn fucking disgusting ... god I cant wait to move into sheltered accommodation with the girls later on in life.
 
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