Use their number to register for "no win no fee accident that wasn't your fault" solicitors. Those guys are relentless 
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Someone at work was trying to work in a department they were way out of their depth in, was always asking for help so Iād quickly respond how to do something, too quickly to grasp how to do it and move onto my next call so they couldnāt ask me again.... well they would and I hand gesture Iād put myself on not ready to help them quickly... oops next call comes in 
Or those life insurance companies like Polly etcUse their number to register for "no win no fee accident that wasn't your fault" solicitors. Those guys are relentless
omg this is a great idea def doing this after my recent breakupOr those life insurance companies like Polly etc
Love this thread although some things are really not petty at all. keying a car and spitting in strangers food 
Standing up to wipe your arse how the duck can that be done, leaning forward. I just keep imagining the downward dog the grandkids do when finished a poo and need help wiping
I pretended to be an ex's old GF and arranged to meet him in Scotland ( he lived in London) she of course didn't turn up after his 7-hour journey.
Standing up to wipe your arse how the duck can that be done, leaning forward. I just keep imagining the downward dog the grandkids do when finished a poo and need help wiping
I pretended to be an ex's old GF and arranged to meet him in Scotland ( he lived in London) she of course didn't turn up after his 7-hour journey.
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I am very much the sort of person who will hold a grudge and never forget but not one who actually does anything. I just seeth on and off etc. So this thread is eye-opening! Well done to anyone spiting their crappy exes especially.
I canāt imagine putting your arm in the bowl to wipe sittingLove this thread although some things are really not petty at all. keying a car and spitting in strangers food
Standing up to wipe your arse how the duck can that be done, leaning forward. I just keep imagining the downward dog the grandkids do when finished a poo and need help wiping
I pretended to be an ex's old GF and arranged to meet him in Scotland ( he lived in London) she of course didn't turn up after his 7-hour journey.
How low in the bowl does your ass go?!I canāt imagine putting your arm in the bowl to wipe sitting
My armI canāt imagine putting your arm in the bowl to wipe sitting
Subscribing to umpteen websites with their email addresses is good, requesting lots of brochures, mail order catalogues, info from double glazing companies, etcOr those life insurance companies like Polly etc
Youāve reminded me of pre internet days and some of us at work, clipped lots of coupons for brochures/leaflets and signed up a colleague. She was not happy! And was ranting, the killer was we had requested brochures for stairlifts, unbeknownst to us, she lived in a bungalow
it finished us all, even now years later , Iām laughingI love this thread!
My bfās ex was logged into his tv and watching married at first sight so I skipped loads of episodes so she wouldnāt remember where she was and then I played loads of random programmes like adult babies so it would come up on her continue watching.
My ex also left his POF account logged into our childās tablet (we were still together at the time) so I changed his bio to āIāll treat you like tit and cheat on you like Iām doing to my girlfriend right nowā.
I found out my first boyfriend had this secret life with another girl
so I pulled out my hair and left bits of it in his bed and bathroom (Iām brunette and she was blonde), hid my jewellery in his drawers and a pair of my knickers under the bed!
My bfās ex was logged into his tv and watching married at first sight so I skipped loads of episodes so she wouldnāt remember where she was and then I played loads of random programmes like adult babies so it would come up on her continue watching.
My ex also left his POF account logged into our childās tablet (we were still together at the time) so I changed his bio to āIāll treat you like tit and cheat on you like Iām doing to my girlfriend right nowā.
I found out my first boyfriend had this secret life with another girl
so I pulled out my hair and left bits of it in his bed and bathroom (Iām brunette and she was blonde), hid my jewellery in his drawers and a pair of my knickers under the bed!
I canāt imagine putting your arm in the bowl to wipe sitting
HOW LONG IS YOUR ARM
This thread has been bloody hilarious
I can't imagine being able to reach that far without a shoulder dislocation occurring.I canāt imagine putting your arm in the bowl to wipe sitting
lol, you peasants wipe your own arses?
I have a story to share prompted by a photo memory that popped up this morning. It might divide opinion, but I feel Iāve found my people here. It is quite long, involves revenge on a time waster. Iāve spoilered it to shorten the post.
I was internet dating a few years ago and started chatting to a guy who I seemed to have some things in common with. He was really keen to meet up - said he didnāt like endless messaging - but when I responded positively I heard nothing back. He appeared to have been on the site and so I just thought he had lost interest.
A couple of weeks later he came back to me, apologised, said he was really busy with work, would make it up to me by taking me out for dinner that Friday (this was at the start of the week) if I didnāt mind heading over to where he lived because work was so full on etc.
I said I wasnāt sure, it seemed heād been on the site regularly but not responded, did he have time to start a relationship if he was so busy? He assured me that his phone must have just made it seem that he was logged in, he hardly ever went on, so busy running his own business etc. I finally agreed to the date and swapped numbers but asked if he couldnāt make it because of work could he give me plenty of notice.
This was for 2 reasons (not shared with him) - 1. I was in an active dating spell and Friday night was a prime real estate spot; 2. He lived quite a way away (about an hour and a half) so would take some planning and finishing work a little early.
Heād not been in touch much that week but Iād texted the Thursday night to check we were still on and he said yes, heād booked a table and was looking forward to it. Realised that travelling from work cut about a third off the journey time so decided to get ready at work (carted clothes, make-up, toiletries etc. in with me) - had a shower, got dressed up and then started making my way over.
Got off the tube at the main line station to get the train for the final leg, had just bought the ticket when I got a text from him to say āIām running late so maybe we can push this back by an hour and you can have some drinks without me. No guarantees Iāll make it though, come at your own risk! Lol xā
I was fuming. No apology to start with, and this idea Iād continue to come and hope he turned up. duck that. Turned back round and went home. Didnāt respond to his text but didnāt block him either. Heard nothing more from him, but again he appeared to be on the website every day. I had had my fill of dating and just removed my profile.
Probably 6-8 weeks later a friend of mine texted me to tell me that the Flamingo guy had messaged her on this same website. Basically he had been wearing his company tshirt in 3 of his pics and Iād thought it was a bit cringe trying to advertise. Heād said heād used them as they were professional shots from an event. She knew heād been messaging me before, weād had interest from the same men in the past, said all the men on there were dirt and sheād had enough and was ready to give up.
I asked her if sheād let me respond to the message before she binned her profile and she agreed, so I messaged him pretending to be the sort of woman a man like him would really like: appealing to his arrogance, love of money/status, business etc. Told him work would frown on me going on a dating site and could we move to email.
Over the next week we emailed fairly regularly (amazing how he could suddenly find the time!) - I created a character of a small business owner who did freelance on the side to fund the business and understood how hard it was for entrepreneurs like himself, I could only hope to be as successful. Flattered his ego about being an amazing business man, dropped hints at having a wealthy family and friends for networking possibilities, said I was house sitting in a wealthy part of North London (important for later in the story) for a friend with a fabulous apartment to help save money to invest back in the company but still have my little luxuries (a girl needs La Perla surely?)
He was creaming his pants at this girl and so he asked if he could see her for a drink mid-week in London but she was too busy on a photo shoot. Then he suggested another day and she cancelled on him that morning being really apologetic, citing a work problem, knew he would understand and sheād make it up to him.
He had wanted to swap numbers but my character had dropped her phone (her whole life is on that phone, heād know what she meant) in the sink and the insurance company had said it needed to be sent off to be fixed and retrieve the data and would be back soon.
Finally I offered up a Friday night, and like a slathering dog he jumped at it. I said seeing as heād been so patient it was only fair that I travelled to see him, but that as I was the other side of London from him might it be possible for me to stay over with him in his big bed and have him wrap his big strong arms around me, and that Iād buy him breakfast in the morning to say thank you.
Of course he said, he would love to have me stay over and if it wasnāt too cheeky to say he would love to spoon me all night! He said heād book his favourite restaurant that did amazing steak - really expensive but so worth it - if I wanted food: his treat. I said something about recreating that special steak day (
) experience.
The day of the date came, I emailed him saying I would either be a bit early and be there waiting for him with a big smile and a tiny dress or I might be a little late but hopefully not awfully late. He said that was fine, couldnāt wait to see my big smile Messaged later that afternoon to say Iād definitely not be early but Iād be worth the wait and if I wasnāt there by 8:30 to order for me because Iād definitely not be later than 9 on pain of death, would expense a taxi if needs be etc.
Then I went home and went down the pub with my housemate. Decided not to check the email account until Monday morning (it was agony) and found a few emails from the course of the weekend. Some from Friday night - started with āIām sat here, Iām so excited to see you in every sense!ā To āItās coming up to 8:30 so Iāve put an order in for you and I know youāll love it, love watching a woman with an appetiteā, āItās 9, if you get this can you call the pub here is the numberā, āwhat the duck is going on?! Are you ok?!ā āWhere the duck are you? This is not acceptable!!!ā
A couple from Saturday - āDonāt know what to think, I hope I havenāt wasted my time on you, my time is so valuable, I got someone to cover a job so I could have a lie in with you. I never do thatā, āwell now youāve not responded I can only imagine youāre just a bleeping b*tch and a time waster etc. Youāre not attractive enough to be doing this, youāre lucky I even wanted to meet in the first place. Iāll make sure no one wants to date you, you psycho.ā
It made my petty heart sing. I just responded saying āYeah, itās not very nice when people waste your time is it? Maybe consider that before you do it to any other women.ā
He replied to say he had friends in high places and he would track me down and have me prosecuted. I laughed and closed down the email account.
A couple of weeks later he came back to me, apologised, said he was really busy with work, would make it up to me by taking me out for dinner that Friday (this was at the start of the week) if I didnāt mind heading over to where he lived because work was so full on etc.
I said I wasnāt sure, it seemed heād been on the site regularly but not responded, did he have time to start a relationship if he was so busy? He assured me that his phone must have just made it seem that he was logged in, he hardly ever went on, so busy running his own business etc. I finally agreed to the date and swapped numbers but asked if he couldnāt make it because of work could he give me plenty of notice.
This was for 2 reasons (not shared with him) - 1. I was in an active dating spell and Friday night was a prime real estate spot; 2. He lived quite a way away (about an hour and a half) so would take some planning and finishing work a little early.
Heād not been in touch much that week but Iād texted the Thursday night to check we were still on and he said yes, heād booked a table and was looking forward to it. Realised that travelling from work cut about a third off the journey time so decided to get ready at work (carted clothes, make-up, toiletries etc. in with me) - had a shower, got dressed up and then started making my way over.
Got off the tube at the main line station to get the train for the final leg, had just bought the ticket when I got a text from him to say āIām running late so maybe we can push this back by an hour and you can have some drinks without me. No guarantees Iāll make it though, come at your own risk! Lol xā
I was fuming. No apology to start with, and this idea Iād continue to come and hope he turned up. duck that. Turned back round and went home. Didnāt respond to his text but didnāt block him either. Heard nothing more from him, but again he appeared to be on the website every day. I had had my fill of dating and just removed my profile.
Probably 6-8 weeks later a friend of mine texted me to tell me that the Flamingo guy had messaged her on this same website. Basically he had been wearing his company tshirt in 3 of his pics and Iād thought it was a bit cringe trying to advertise. Heād said heād used them as they were professional shots from an event. She knew heād been messaging me before, weād had interest from the same men in the past, said all the men on there were dirt and sheād had enough and was ready to give up.
I asked her if sheād let me respond to the message before she binned her profile and she agreed, so I messaged him pretending to be the sort of woman a man like him would really like: appealing to his arrogance, love of money/status, business etc. Told him work would frown on me going on a dating site and could we move to email.
Over the next week we emailed fairly regularly (amazing how he could suddenly find the time!) - I created a character of a small business owner who did freelance on the side to fund the business and understood how hard it was for entrepreneurs like himself, I could only hope to be as successful. Flattered his ego about being an amazing business man, dropped hints at having a wealthy family and friends for networking possibilities, said I was house sitting in a wealthy part of North London (important for later in the story) for a friend with a fabulous apartment to help save money to invest back in the company but still have my little luxuries (a girl needs La Perla surely?)
He was creaming his pants at this girl and so he asked if he could see her for a drink mid-week in London but she was too busy on a photo shoot. Then he suggested another day and she cancelled on him that morning being really apologetic, citing a work problem, knew he would understand and sheād make it up to him.
He had wanted to swap numbers but my character had dropped her phone (her whole life is on that phone, heād know what she meant) in the sink and the insurance company had said it needed to be sent off to be fixed and retrieve the data and would be back soon.
Finally I offered up a Friday night, and like a slathering dog he jumped at it. I said seeing as heād been so patient it was only fair that I travelled to see him, but that as I was the other side of London from him might it be possible for me to stay over with him in his big bed and have him wrap his big strong arms around me, and that Iād buy him breakfast in the morning to say thank you.
Of course he said, he would love to have me stay over and if it wasnāt too cheeky to say he would love to spoon me all night! He said heād book his favourite restaurant that did amazing steak - really expensive but so worth it - if I wanted food: his treat. I said something about recreating that special steak day (
) experience.The day of the date came, I emailed him saying I would either be a bit early and be there waiting for him with a big smile and a tiny dress or I might be a little late but hopefully not awfully late. He said that was fine, couldnāt wait to see my big smile
Messaged later that afternoon to say Iād definitely not be early but Iād be worth the wait and if I wasnāt there by 8:30 to order for me because Iād definitely not be later than 9 on pain of death, would expense a taxi if needs be etc.Then I went home and went down the pub with my housemate. Decided not to check the email account until Monday morning (it was agony) and found a few emails from the course of the weekend. Some from Friday night - started with āIām sat here, Iām so excited to see you in every sense!ā To āItās coming up to 8:30 so Iāve put an order in for you and I know youāll love it, love watching a woman with an appetiteā, āItās 9, if you get this can you call the pub here is the numberā, āwhat the duck is going on?! Are you ok?!ā āWhere the duck are you? This is not acceptable!!!ā
A couple from Saturday - āDonāt know what to think, I hope I havenāt wasted my time on you, my time is so valuable, I got someone to cover a job so I could have a lie in with you. I never do thatā, āwell now youāve not responded I can only imagine youāre just a bleeping b*tch and a time waster etc. Youāre not attractive enough to be doing this, youāre lucky I even wanted to meet in the first place. Iāll make sure no one wants to date you, you psycho.ā
It made my petty heart sing. I just responded saying āYeah, itās not very nice when people waste your time is it? Maybe consider that before you do it to any other women.ā
He replied to say he had friends in high places and he would track me down and have me prosecuted. I laughed and closed down the email account.
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@Clickbait I am in awe!
Haha thank you! Iāve shocked myself remembering how much effort I put into this, but it honestly was the straw that broke the camelās back at the time. Iād been teetering on the brink with the duck boy behaviour and it pushed me over the edge.
This is legendary levels of pettiness!I have a story to share prompted by a photo memory that popped up this morning. It might divide opinion, but I feel Iāve found my people here. It is quite long, involves revenge on a time waster. Iāve spoilered it to shorten the post.
I was internet dating a few years ago and started chatting to a guy who I seemed to have some things in common with. He was really keen to meet up - said he didnāt like endless messaging - but when I responded positively I heard nothing back. He appeared to have been on the site and so I just thought he had lost interest.
A couple of weeks later he came back to me, apologised, said he was really busy with work, would make it up to me by taking me out for dinner that Friday (this was at the start of the week) if I didnāt mind heading over to where he lived because work was so full on etc.
I said I wasnāt sure, it seemed heād been on the site regularly but not responded, did he have time to start a relationship if he was so busy? He assured me that his phone must have just made it seem that he was logged in, he hardly ever went on, so busy running his own business etc. I finally agreed to the date and swapped numbers but asked if he couldnāt make it because of work could he give me plenty of notice.
This was for 2 reasons (not shared with him) - 1. I was in an active dating spell and Friday night was a prime real estate spot; 2. He lived quite a way away (about an hour and a half) so would take some planning and finishing work a little early.
Heād not been in touch much that week but Iād texted the Thursday night to check we were still on and he said yes, heād booked a table and was looking forward to it. Realised that travelling from work cut about a third off the journey time so decided to get ready at work (carted clothes, make-up, toiletries etc. in with me) - had a shower, got dressed up and then started making my way over.
Got off the tube at the main line station to get the train for the final leg, had just bought the ticket when I got a text from him to say āIām running late so maybe we can push this back by an hour and you can have some drinks without me. No guarantees Iāll make it though, come at your own risk! Lol xā
I was fuming. No apology to start with, and this idea Iād continue to come and hope he turned up. duck that. Turned back round and went home. Didnāt respond to his text but didnāt block him either. Heard nothing more from him, but again he appeared to be on the website every day. I had had my fill of dating and just removed my profile.
Probably 6-8 weeks later a friend of mine texted me to tell me that the Flamingo guy had messaged her on this same website. Basically he had been wearing his company tshirt in 3 of his pics and Iād thought it was a bit cringe trying to advertise. Heād said heād used them as they were professional shots from an event. She knew heād been messaging me before, weād had interest from the same men in the past, said all the men on there were dirt and sheād had enough and was ready to give up.
I asked her if sheād let me respond to the message before she binned her profile and she agreed, so I messaged him pretending to be the sort of woman a man like him would really like: appealing to his arrogance, love of money/status, business etc. Told him work would frown on me going on a dating site and could we move to email.
Over the next week we emailed fairly regularly (amazing how he could suddenly find the time!) - I created a character of a small business owner who did freelance on the side to fund the business and understood how hard it was for entrepreneurs like himself, I could only hope to be as successful. Flattered his ego about being an amazing business man, dropped hints at having a wealthy family and friends for networking possibilities, said I was house sitting in a wealthy part of North London (important for later in the story) for a friend with a fabulous apartment to help save money to invest back in the company but still have my little luxuries (a girl needs La Perla surely?)
He was creaming his pants at this girl and so he asked if he could see her for a drink mid-week in London but she was too busy on a photo shoot. Then he suggested another day and she cancelled on him that morning being really apologetic, citing a work problem, knew he would understand and sheād make it up to him.
He had wanted to swap numbers but my character had dropped her phone (her whole life is on that phone, heād know what she meant) in the sink and the insurance company had said it needed to be sent off to be fixed and retrieve the data and would be back soon.
Finally I offered up a Friday night, and like a slathering dog he jumped at it. I said seeing as heād been so patient it was only fair that I travelled to see him, but that as I was the other side of London from him might it be possible for me to stay over with him in his big bed and have him wrap his big strong arms around me, and that Iād buy him breakfast in the morning to say thank you.
Of course he said, he would love to have me stay over and if it wasnāt too cheeky to say he would love to spoon me all night! He said heād book his favourite restaurant that did amazing steak - really expensive but so worth it - if I wanted food: his treat. I said something about recreating that special steak day (
The day of the date came, I emailed him saying I would either be a bit early and be there waiting for him with a big smile and a tiny dress or I might be a little late but hopefully not awfully late. He said that was fine, couldnāt wait to see my big smile
Then I went home and went down the pub with my housemate. Decided not to check the email account until Monday morning (it was agony) and found a few emails from the course of the weekend. Some from Friday night - started with āIām sat here, Iām so excited to see you in every sense!ā To āItās coming up to 8:30 so Iāve put an order in for you and I know youāll love it, love watching a woman with an appetiteā, āItās 9, if you get this can you call the pub here is the numberā, āwhat the duck is going on?! Are you ok?!ā āWhere the duck are you? This is not acceptable!!!ā
A couple from Saturday - āDonāt know what to think, I hope I havenāt wasted my time on you, my time is so valuable, I got someone to cover a job so I could have a lie in with you. I never do thatā, āwell now youāve not responded I can only imagine youāre just a bleeping b*tch and a time waster etc. Youāre not attractive enough to be doing this, youāre lucky I even wanted to meet in the first place. Iāll make sure no one wants to date you, you psycho.ā
It made my petty heart sing. I just responded saying āYeah, itās not very nice when people waste your time is it? Maybe consider that before you do it to any other women.ā
He replied to say he had friends in high places and he would track me down and have me prosecuted. I laughed and closed down the email account.
)
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