What have you done today? #13

[Penguin86]

My anxiety is through the roof so not sleeping very well

Spoiler: TW: Self harm

I've started scratching my skin til it bleeds again and last night I even tried to cut my skin with scissors

I'm very irritable today and people are really pushing my bleeping buttons
Trying to sort my bedroom out to distract myself but tbh I just want to curl back up in bed
My American friend went to a wrestling show and got me an autograph of 2 of my favourite female wrestlers and got them to take a photo with the stuffed penguin I got him
Think it might be a takeaway and early night tonight

 

[AnderbeauJohnson]

Right - I have a plan to try and make my head (eventually) less spacey - I've tried quite a few times in the past to give up caffeine but I always go back to having way too much of it, even just before bed. So I'm going to try and quit again - I've been given an open-ended task to do at work so it won't matter too much fighting off the headaches / fatigue and hopefully I'll be more productive afterwards.

Just started now and I expect to be a rolling ball of anger for the next couple of weeks but I'm going to try and push through. In the past I've gone "well, I had a can, guess I'm a failure and I'll go back to the full amount" where that probably isn't the best approach - if someone was quitting ciggies it wouldn't make sense to say "well, I had one, guess I'll go back to a pack a day."

My anxiety is through the roof so not sleeping very well

Spoiler: TW: Self harm

I've started scratching my skin til it bleeds again and last night I even tried to cut my skin with scissors

I'm very irritable today and people are really pushing my bleeping buttons
Trying to sort my bedroom out to distract myself but tbh I just want to curl back up in bed
My American friend went to a wrestling show and got me an autograph of 2 of my favourite female wrestlers and got them to take a photo with the stuffed penguin I got him
Think it might be a takeaway and early night tonight

I'm sorry you're struggling right now - if you're wanting to be go back to bed would a duvet day help possibly rather than trying to force yourself to be productive? Try and zone out for a bit with some mindless tv?

 

[DuckDuck]

Nothing . Am in the pub with a book, a plate of nachos and a bottle of wine… been here for the best part of 2 hours
Might order another

 

[Meangirl815]

Alreet lads

I'm having a funny old day. Woke up riddled with anxiety. Literally the minute i went active on my phone this morning i had a message from my friend saying 'do you want to do something today'

No actually no i don't. But because I'm too soft and because it's my daughters best friend i agreed to it. But compromised with a garden picnic and games rather than going out. Been expecting them for about 2hrs and they still aren't here. Which usually means she's arguing with the husband then they are both going to turn up (we are 'couple friends') and the atmosphere is going to be great

If I'm being honest I'm already counting down the hours until they've left and i can spend some time to myself
Planning a long bath and early night with a book

Lots of love

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

My anxiety is through the roof so not sleeping very well

Spoiler: TW: Self harm

I've started scratching my skin til it bleeds again and last night I even tried to cut my skin with scissors

I'm very irritable today and people are really pushing my bleeping buttons
Trying to sort my bedroom out to distract myself but tbh I just want to curl back up in bed
My American friend went to a wrestling show and got me an autograph of 2 of my favourite female wrestlers and got them to take a photo with the stuffed penguin I got him
Think it might be a takeaway and early night tonight

I’m so sorry you are struggling right now! Could you try to take your mind off the situation by watching some telly or maybe listening to something silly? Hang in there!

Am in the pub with a book, a plate of nachos and a bottle of wine… been here for the best part of 2 hours

Sounds like a perfect way to spend your day! What are you reading, if you don’t mind my asking?


Somebody on here mentioned making pierogi (I think it was @Quietpeony?) and I forgot to ask what the filling was! Really important question coming from me as always haha

Having a bit of a lazy day today, had my hair and fringe trimmed, cleaned up and am now having a bath. Going out tomorrow so it looks like a little pamper session is on the cards. Still not quite over yesterday’s booty call, but all in all I’m feeling much better.

 

[LittleMy]

It’s been an emotional old day here (and it’s not even close to being over).

We had a lovely weekend finished off yesterday with a trip to the cinema with the boys and a get together at my mum’s for my brother’s 30th birthday. We had buffet food and the boys had fun playing with their little cousin and all the balloons. There was a Lotus Biscoff cheesecake and it was immense (but very sweet!).

Up early this morning. OH helped get the kids ready for their first day back at nursery and school, then went to work while I did the drop offs. My biggest is in primary 2 now, he didn’t even give me a kiss goodbye, just saw his friends and went off inside with them without so much as a glance back.

I came back home and my mum arrived to take me to the funeral. It was very sad, I cried an awful lot (thank god for face masks). I managed to borrow a scarf from my mum so that was my something pink. I came back home after the cemetery because little one was to be picked up early this week for settling in.

So I got changed into something casual and went down to collect him. He’d had a great first morning back and ate all his lunch. We walked home and he went to play on his trampoline in the back garden. I tidied up the kitchen a bit and made a cuppa, and had just sat down with it when my kitten brought in a dead bird and dropped it near my feet.

Little one wandered over and asked what happened to the birdy so I said it was just sleeping and sent him out of the room so I could dispose of it. Had to tell him it flew away back home to its mummy when he came back looking for it.

Just after that happened, my other cat appeared on the garden path with a baby mouse hanging out of its mouth, but this time it was still alive. I managed to shoo cat away and catch Stuart Little in a tub, then took him out to the front garden and released him again. I feel so stressed after all that, I need a nap.

Will be getting ready shortly to pick up eldest from school, so that’s another walk for littlest and I. Think we’ll all sleep well tonight.

Hope everyone’s having a good Monday (didn’t expect this to be so long but it’s been a morning!!) x

 

[GoofyPrincess]

@OutrageouslyScarlet I hope your mum is doing ok

@watermelon sugar Sending you lots of love and hugs, take care of yourself and remember as others have said we're all here for you to chat, vent, offload

@bolimepipi Your weekend looked amazing

@Penguin86 I'm sorry your struggling just now, sending hugs

@AnderbeauJohnson @Meangirl815 @LittleMy sending hugs to you and everyone else who needs it today

 

[Quietpeony]

I’m so sorry you are struggling right now! Could you try to take your mind off the situation by watching some telly or maybe listening to something silly? Hang in there!


Sounds like a perfect way to spend your day! What are you reading, if you don’t mind my asking?


Somebody on here mentioned making pierogi (I think it was @Quietpeony?) and I forgot to ask what the filling was! Really important question coming from me as always haha

Having a bit of a lazy day today, had my hair and fringe trimmed, cleaned up and am now having a bath. Going out tomorrow so it looks like a little pamper session is on the cards. Still not quite over yesterday’s booty call, but all in all I’m feeling much better.

Hola! Yes it was me . I went for the cabbage filling as I’m mainly veggie. Have you tried them before? They turned out ok!

About the booty call- did you mention it to your friend? Sexuality can be fluid sometimes but I hope you still feel comfortable with each other.

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

So my mums managed to fracture her spine. She was sent home last night as they just don’t have the beds, She’s got morphine and the en-suit. I may well need a holiday after this though
Joking aside the poor thing is in pain, but they’ve said they’ll give her more morphine when she’s out. This will drive her mad though as she’s super active and was painting the whole house etc which now she can’t for a while. So I’m now rushing between houses to check up on my 92 year old grandmother and my mum. Lucky they live close together!
I seem To have a slight 2 day hangover plus all the ex regret so I’ll have a busy week of Shame going to have a relatively chilled rest of day, between taking cups of tea up to the attic. Luckily there’s a food delivery arriving as the Cupboards are pretty bare!
Had my nails done Saturday and bloody love them


hope everyone’s Monday has been kind xx

 

[bolimepipi]

took the boat back home today and everything went downhill from there - i don't know if it's the post-getaway blues, my period or something else - but i feel like pure

i was supposed to have a tour & an inspection in the afternoon, then a drink with friends in the evening and then work. i cancelled everything (other than the fact i do have to work later for a meeting in the morning) & just lazed around on the couch. i also just ordered a chinese takeaway and i know i shouldn't have

i'm so happy i don't have to socialize and i ignored a call from my mom just so i don't have to talk and i'm pushing my bf away from me because i can't stand cuddles

on a more serious note, i feel like i don't belong anywhere - i feel odd in all of my friendship groups and whatsapp chats. i feel like no one likes me and i'm boring, and i don't ever wanna go anywhere

i really hope it's my period

 

[Cocoflowers]

Hey everyone
I work during the week so nothing exicting happens at work
This weekend
went food shopping went b&m and tkmaxx
watched alot of autumns get ready videos made me feel really in a christmas mood
did lots of scrapbooking and colouring

I'm currently on sofa relaxing for a long week ahead so im colouring loads to take my mind of it

@AnderbeauJohnson loved your colouring the other day johanna's basford's colouring books are lovely to do if you want it cheaper than the original prices always check b&m and the works its always half price in there i picked up one in b&m the magical jungle which im probably had about 4 copies of all her books apart from the christmas one which is on the my list!

@isabellalovescats not gonna lie ive been a mess since seeing my ex for the first time since the broke up but i know the next time i will see him i wont feel a thing feel like i dont even love him anymore i just miss the idea of him. But he treated me like a lost priority for years and he just a see you next Tuesday im so better off, hope your okay

Sending lots of love to everyone

 

[Peaches_xox]

@bolimepipi i never want to go anywhere & most of the time when I make plans I pray they get cancelled

Another boring day from me really. I dunno if I’m in a mood or what, just cba with anything today. Monday I guess

- My fella took little peaches to his mums today as I was getting my waxing done so needed somebody to watch him. As he got out the car he said ‘it’s me that likes and loves you a lot’ (The kid not the fella, he’d never be so nice haha)

- Had waxing done and a good gossip with my waxing lady. I can barley even feel the waxing anymore I’m so used to it. Best thing I ever started doing

- Tried to book an overdue smear but apparently the nurse isn’t in so I should call back in 3-4 weeks.

- I did however complete some online thing for my GP to hopefully see me. I have weird dry skin at the mo especially around my face and on my scalp it’s painful and itchy

- Little peaches is not long home and missed me apparently so I’m going to spend the evening with him watching him play Nintendo switch have some dinner and go to bed

Happy Monday Gang

 

[Meangirl815]

My friends have just left. It was alright. Felt a bit too much like hard work rather than a fun afternoon with friends but i think that's me and my mood.
My friend did make a remark at one point about how my resting witch face was on full show

The kids have been nightmares arguing fighting blah blah blah.
My head feels like it's about to explode

The Mr is back to work on weds and tbh I'm really looking forward to it. We have a day at the farm with family tomorrow then my son is going to my mam's for 5 nights. And I'm so excited for a few days with my girls. Going to do some baking, watch some girly films, nails face masks etc

Right. I need to take a walk to the shop then going to sit in the garden. And bath and early night with my book is definitely happening

 

[GoofyPrincess]

So Saturday night we went for some pub grub and a couple of drinks - I had a spicy fried chicken burger with cajun fries then we went to a gig to see Modest Mouse. I used to love them but not as up to date on their current stuff but it was fab still. They were really amazing live with all the different instruments etc and they played some of their old classics. It was really nice to be at an actual live, indoors gig as well after all this time. Mr GP isn't really a big fan of them but he even enjoyed it saying they were much better live. Anyways I was pretty touched he arranged it for me as a surprise as he never does anything like that........ not sure if I should be worried

Only slight issue was the gig didn't finish till midnight so we didn't get home till 1am. I can't do late nights out anymore so I was exhausted

Since the boy did good on Saturday I said I would relinquish control of our plans yesterday too in a bid to try and be a bit more spontaneous and less uptight. I've always been super organized but in the last year I think I've taken it a bit OTT and overly plan every tiny thing we are doing every weekend I blame covid as we needed reservations to do anything/everything over the last year with all the restrictions! So he rolled out of bed around midday by which time my stress levels were already increasing thinking to myself if this was any other weekend I would have had him up at 9am, we would have gone a walk and would be having brunch now in a place I had already chosen and checked out the menu. I tried to chill out though and just go with it and managed well apart from one short snap about being starving and needing food now (we didn't end up eating till well after 2)! We cycled somewhere for brunch then went to a few bars for drinks before cycling home - perhaps not the best idea after a few Anyways I had a lovely day!

Today is just work, go for a run then dinner and probably tv or read, standard boring Monday.

 

[AnderbeauJohnson]

Withdrawal headache/tiredness has just started kicking in - I've done this before (went two months without caffeine and it was lovely but then I caved) so I can do this again! Just two-nine days to go

Just been out with my new shoes to stock up on some easy freezer food - shoes are a bit less painful than the one's they've replaced.

Now in bed and reading Taste Atlas articles and favouriting any interesting looking recipes.

@bolimepipi I hope it is just your hormones - I think you're lovely.

@Cocoflowers thanks for the tip!

Edit - screw it, I'm being silly. I'm going to cut (way) down to two cans a day - then, hopefully, in a week to 1.5 cans and so on. I'll still be very tired and headachey but not as bad.

 

[WilmaHun]

Hi everyone
Sending love to everyone who is feeling a bit rubbish
I’m feeling a bit rubbish today as well tbh, must be something in the air.
I’ve put about 5 pounds on in the last few weeks, and I can really notice it I tried a pair of trousers on this evening which I normally feel so comfortable in and all I could see was this bulging tummy, I looked horrendous. I have a bit of a tendency to obsess about my weight, I can weigh myself multiple times a day when I’m at my worst so I’m trying not to obsess but it’s easier said than done. I feel disgusting (I’m fully aware it’s hard to sympathise with me after my massive waffle yesterday, I know I’m being hypocritical - clearly I’ve only got myself to blame in this situation )
Mr Wilma has got loads of work on right now so I probably won’t see him home until gone 10.30 tonight, I’ll be asleep by the time he finishes. Glad he’s busy as being self employed he has to take all the work he can get but I do miss him when I’m sat alone in the evenings!
Uni starts again in just under 2 months so I’m trying to spend an hour a day on the lead up to the module opening just researching and reading into the module topics. Just to give myself a head start really! Off to do that now! 🥸
Sorry for the miserable post, just feels nice to vent somewhere.

 

[isabellalovescats]

Hello all,
Just caught up reading all the posts I have missed. I have been MIA here for a while now. I got a Rheumatologist appointment I have been waiting for about ten months. Finally, I got to see the Rheumatologist today. A resident also accompanied her to our appointment. They were both so lovely.
They suspect that I might have this rare condition called IGG-4 related disease. So, I got 7 tubes of blood drawn from me. I was not ready for that haha.
The doctors and the nurses were all so lovely but the receptionist lady was a pain in the butt kinda. She is one of those ignorant people who think that non-white folks don't speak English. I walked up to the reception and she was like "What is your first language?" I said, "English." She gave me a funny look and asked, "So, you grew up speaking English?" Like bleeping DUH! My health card does say International because I am not Canadian but like come on. She was so annoying. I was like "Yes, I'm American." She did not seem to be happy that I was not as exotic as she thought I would. People like this make me fume lowkey. The rest of the people were lovely, though. The girl who did my bloodwork and I chatted about our favorite coffee shop in town because it took a while to get all that blood drawn and we were like okay, small talk.
I will have to do an ultrasound for my neck and face. The doctor told me just to make sure but she says she thinks I am okay. I hope I am okay.
Had a freakout late Friday night (okay, Saturday wee early hours of the morning) at Blondie's because I was getting flashbacks about people who criminally harassed me and stalked me over a year ago. I have posted about it here a few threads before. I know they won't hurt me anymore and that I am safe (at least, that's what my case managers and police and my lawyer tell me) but I am still so paranoid and I get so scared and sad sometimes. It was the first time I shared about it with Blondie (not the details though, just the gist) and he was such a good sport. So kind and caring. He was proper pissed at these criminals for what they did to me though. I am also pissed but I think I was much more scared and anxious. I hate flashbacks.
On a lighter note, I got my nails done! My toenails are white and I got chrome nails for my fingers! They all look so cute and I am very pleased with my nail tech. Also got my brows and lower legs waxed so I am silky smooth. I love it! I am so ready for my birthday trip this weekend! Right now, I feel like a baby seal.


@watermelon sugar Sending so much love to you. We are all here to support you and listen to you. You can always message me anytime. I am here to listen. I consider you a very good friend.
@AnderbeauJohnson How do you like your new shoes? I have also been struggling with weight/body image/ED so I always sympathize and empathize whenever I see your posts on the same topic. Wish we could go on walks together. I am too lazy and socially awkward to go on walks alone. Also, have you had your second appointment already? I haven't seen you post about it yet. Maybe I did not see an update if you already posted one though.
@xx3221 Really well done on reporting. Again, we believe you here and I am so proud you reported!
@WilmaHun Congratulations on the house! I am very late to the party but just wanted to say it anyway!
I think someone asked last week what I did for a living because of the offices with beds. I am in a Ph.D. program at a research university in Canada. I also teach and conduct research at the same time. Because office buildings are still closed due to Covid here, my school gave out residence rooms for researchers to do work in instead during the summer months. So, that's how I ended up with a comfy bed in my "office." School opens again in September and the regular offices are now okay to reopen so I will be back to a room with a desk and bookshelves, no bed.
Sending love and hugs to all those who need it. Hope everyone's week is kicking off well!
Oh, and @bolimepipi you are NOT boring. I love you! I am here if you ever want to talk. Enjoy your holidays!
@Libbylulu Thinking of you. Hope your kitty is doing better.
@Raymond Luxury-Yacht I miss you. Just wanted to let you know. Again, I am in solidarity with you in the frustration with body image. Hope things are better at home for you.

 

[BelleAmie]

@watermelon sugar sending you all the love, that’s a crazy amount of tit for anyone to deal with and I hope Mr Watermelon Sugar is looking after you P.s your friend is a .

@Penguin86 I’m so sorry that you’re struggling, I wish there was something we could do to help, but please always know that we’re here and we want to know how you feel

 

[AnderbeauJohnson]

@AnderbeauJohnson How do you like your new shoes? I have also been struggling with weight/body image/ED so I always sympathize and empathize whenever I see your posts on the same topic. Wish we could go on walks together. I am too lazy and socially awkward to go on walks alone. Also, have you had your second appointment already? I haven't seen you post about it yet. Maybe I did not see an update if you already posted one though.

I managed a short walk in them yesterday - they're not too bad, bit of stiffness but no blisters/rubbing so that's a good plus. If you don't like walking by yourself I'll always recommend CityStrides

Second appointment went okay, she's written the letter to go off to the diagnostic team but there's a backlog so it'll be approx 2.5 years until the next step (which will be them assessing me.)

I hope your ultrasound goes okay.

 

[Saddlesoap]

She is one of those ignorant people who think that non-white folks don't speak English. I walked up to the reception and she was like "What is your first language?" I said, "English." She gave me a funny look and asked, "So, you grew up speaking English?" Like bleeping DUH! My health card does say International because I am not Canadian but like come on. She was so annoying. I was like "Yes, I'm American."

Wow. I have no words for this.