Went to the tip and for a walk to see the pigs on the farm nearby. Literally my favourite Sunday activities ever. Iβm obsessed with the tip 
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Hi guys! I've had a few days away. I've been suffering big time with my mental health recently.
I haven't been in the best mind frame really since my miscarriage. I've pushed a lot of people away and haven't been myself. You'd think after the 3rd one it gets easier but it doesn't. I've been struggling and I dont have many people around me. One of my friends who doesn't have kids said to me I should count myself lucky and get over it because I already have a kid. But that's not the point?
Yesterday I received news telling me that my rapist has served his sentence and will be getting released. I've not told anyone this yet and I've been toying with even telling anyone. I've not even told my partner yet. I guess just typing it down helps. A bit. Things have been rough anyway
Yesterday I received news telling me that my rapist has served his sentence and will be getting released. I've not told anyone this yet and I've been toying with even telling anyone. I've not even told my partner yet. I guess just typing it down helps. A bit. Things have been rough anyway
Although I've had a lovely day today! Sundays are my fave day of the week because Mr Watermelon is off work! We went to a soft play. Some little horror shouted at the baby to go away cos the baby tried going down the slide. I nearly pushed the little gremlin down the slide for that
I then went down the slide and my phone fell out and I realised, legged it back up and nearly knocked a kid over in the process Hope everyone is ok. Big love x
ah, this is rough to deal with. I think it's fine to behave exactly as you want to. Your partner will help and support you, I'm sure of it. We will too so you do have people around you xx
Hi guys! I've had a few days away. I've been suffering big time with my mental health recently.
I haven't been in the best mind frame really since my miscarriage. I've pushed a lot of people away and haven't been myself. You'd think after the 3rd one it gets easier but it doesn't. I've been struggling and I dont have many people around me. One of my friends who doesn't have kids said to me I should count myself lucky and get over it because I already have a kid. But that's not the point?
Yesterday I received news telling me that my rapist has served his sentence and will be getting released. I've not told anyone this yet and I've been toying with even telling anyone. I've not even told my partner yet. I guess just typing it down helps. A bit. Things have been rough anyway
Although I've had a lovely day today! Sundays are my fave day of the week because Mr Watermelon is off work! We went to a soft play. Some little horror shouted at the baby to go away cos the baby tried going down the slide. I nearly pushed the little gremlin down the slide for that
Hope everyone is ok. Big love x
Hi guys! I've had a few days away. I've been suffering big time with my mental health recently.
I haven't been in the best mind frame really since my miscarriage. I've pushed a lot of people away and haven't been myself. You'd think after the 3rd one it gets easier but it doesn't. I've been struggling and I dont have many people around me. One of my friends who doesn't have kids said to me I should count myself lucky and get over it because I already have a kid. But that's not the point?
Yesterday I received news telling me that my rapist has served his sentence and will be getting released. I've not told anyone this yet and I've been toying with even telling anyone. I've not even told my partner yet. I guess just typing it down helps. A bit. Things have been rough anyway
Although I've had a lovely day today! Sundays are my fave day of the week because Mr Watermelon is off work! We went to a soft play. Some little horror shouted at the baby to go away cos the baby tried going down the slide. I nearly pushed the little gremlin down the slide for that
Hope everyone is ok. Big love x
That's a nasty thing for your friend to say, it's more than okay that you are still struggling with it. Have you been in contact with any charities that specialise in what happened to you? They might have a helpline you could phone and have someone to talk to who has been through it as well.
When it happened I got a piece of paper with loads of helplines on it and I just shoved it at the bottom of my bag and left it there. I rang one of the numbers and asked for help the other day so I'm starting counselling! As for the other thing I got offered counselling over the phone when I got the news. So hopefully they both help
I'm glad they're getting you some help/counselling - we're always here as well if you want to let things out.When it happened I got a piece of paper with loads of helplines on it and I just shoved it at the bottom of my bag and left it there. I rang one of the numbers and asked for help the other day so I'm starting counselling! As for the other thing I got offered counselling over the phone when I got the news. So hopefully they both help
@watermelon sugar thats a lot for anyone to deal with. Iβm pleased you have asked for help, I hope you get the support you need. Be kind to yourself and be around people that arenβt going to question your feelings.
@watermelon sugar
You have us. We are here for you. To listen to you rant, to distract you. Whatever you need
You have us. We are here for you. To listen to you rant, to distract you. Whatever you need
@watermelon sugar you are one of the strongest people I have ever encountered. You should be so proud of yourself for reaching out for support - I hope it helps and things improve for you soon, but please remember to take care of yourself and you always have us to rant to at any time of the day. Sending so much love your way 
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Hi gang!
itβs been bloody hot here today! It clouded over the afternoon but itβs still really humid!
today we went for a walk round the broads, which was lovely:
my other half got himself some sausage and chips from the chip shop half way through our walk. I resisted ordering anything! I even resisted stealing a chip from him so I felt really proud. HOWEVER I couldnβt resist a trip to the drive thru dessert place this evening so my calories for today are definitely much higher than they should be
it was bloody beautiful though!
Iβve now got that dreaded Sunday evening feeling 
Iβm solo working this whole week as my colleagues are off on leave (seems unfair to leave only me in - surely not everyone should be allowed to book leave at once but whatever) so the week is definitely going to drag! And be very lonely!
hope everyone has had a lovely weekend xxx
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Hi gang! itβs been bloody hot here today! It clouded over the afternoon but itβs still really humid! today we went for a walk round the broads, which was lovely:
my other half got himself some sausage and chips from the chip shop half way through our walk. I resisted ordering anything! I even resisted stealing a chip from him so I felt really proud. HOWEVER I couldnβt resist a trip to the drive thru dessert place this evening so my calories for today are definitely much higher than they should be
it was bloody beautiful though! Iβve now got that dreaded Sunday evening feeling Iβm solo working this whole week as my colleagues are off on leave (seems unfair to leave only me in - surely not everyone should be allowed to book leave at once but whatever) so the week is definitely going to drag! And be very lonely! hope everyone has had a lovely weekend xxxI deleted my post earlier but in summary
- Ended up binging for the first time in a few weeks but I'll be fine. Now that I haven't done it for a while and I'm not living it everyday, I can see how (physically) ill it made me feel so now I'm more determined not to.
- Found a shared ownership flat that my dad (very kindly) offered to give me the deposit for but I'm going to wait until next year (at least) I think. For my own piece of mind, I want to make sure that my compulsive spending is properly cured before I take on a mortgage and solo bills. The last thing I want is to risk ending up drowning like I was last year. More places will come on the market eventually. I'm feeling good about my decision.
- Just watched the first episode of Cruel Summer - it was pretty good.
@watermelon sugar thatβs a lot to deal with. I just want to hug you! I hope the support helps and weβre all here for you.
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Hi Guys,
Really boring weekend really not much to report.
Cleaned the windows and back doors yesterday which felt like such an achievement. Little Peaches helped. Apparently it was SO MUCH FUN. Alright kid you can help wheneverrrrr you want.
Went the the cinema to see paw patrol yesterday. It was actually quite good and hearing my little fella hysterically laughing filled me with so much joy.
Had an early night. Was asleep by 11 which I consider early. Still felt knackered this morning though.
Went to my parents today, got there at 10:30am, my mum was like erm hello bit early. I was like ERR BASICALLY LUNCHTIME WHEN YOU OWN SMALL HUMANS.
Football season is back and Iβm buzzing. We beat newcastle 4-2 which made me super happy Iβm a big West Ham fan and so is my dad so we were all βIβm forever blowing bubblesβ all afternoon.
Had my hair cut and it looks no different. Just what I wanted. Iβm a creature of habit.
BBQ for dinner 
Just got home, love island at 10 on plus 1 and some snacks for the last time cos I really am being good from tomorrow. I think itβll help my mental health if I eat less crap and exercise - I hope. Iβll keep you all posted.
Hope everybodyβs had a good weekend
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Hi Guys,
Really boring weekend really not much to report.
Cleaned the windows and back doors yesterday which felt like such an achievement. Little Peaches helped. Apparently it was SO MUCH FUN. Alright kid you can help wheneverrrrr you want. Went the the cinema to see paw patrol yesterday. It was actually quite good and hearing my little fella hysterically laughing filled me with so much joy. Had an early night. Was asleep by 11 which I consider early. Still felt knackered this morning though. Went to my parents today, got there at 10:30am, my mum was like erm hello bit early. I was like ERR BASICALLY LUNCHTIME WHEN YOU OWN SMALL HUMANS. Football season is back and Iβm buzzing. We beat newcastle 4-2 which made me super happy Iβm a big West Ham fan and so is my dad so we were all βIβm forever blowing bubblesβ all afternoon. Had my hair cut and it looks no different. Just what I wanted. Iβm a creature of habit. BBQ for dinner Just got home, love island at 10 on plus 1 and some snacks for the last time cos I really am being good from tomorrow. I think itβll help my mental health if I eat less crap and exercise - I hope. Iβll keep you all posted.Hope everybodyβs had a good weekend
@watermelon sugar Other people have been much more eloquent than me so just wanted to say
Also, I hope this doesn't sound weird but I always remember the story of Mr W roaring up on his bike outside ASDA and shouting your name even though he knew fine well where you were! It always makes me laugh a little. I'm glad you're getting counselling and support. Don't let them sit on it - chase them up and make sure they follow through with actual appointments. Take care x
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Today was a good day as I got to GO OUT and leave the kids at home
Went for a mooch around town and was left feeling a bit disappointed with the shops. Nevermind death of the high street, the city centre isn't far off it either 
Think I'd only travel in for drinks or a meal now.
Anyway, I got to meet up with my friend for coffee. Last time I saw them, I had just found out I was pregnant with Smallest who is almost 1
Came home, sorted out the kids and watched Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood. My God, that film was about an hour longer than it should have been!
Tomorrow it is a trip to a big park with some of Biggest's friends. Hoping the weather stays dry, feeling almost autumnal here today
Also, I hope this doesn't sound weird but I always remember the story of Mr W roaring up on his bike outside ASDA and shouting your name even though he knew fine well where you were! It always makes me laugh a little. I'm glad you're getting counselling and support. Don't let them sit on it - chase them up and make sure they follow through with actual appointments. Take care x
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Today was a good day as I got to GO OUT and leave the kids at home
Went for a mooch around town and was left feeling a bit disappointed with the shops. Nevermind death of the high street, the city centre isn't far off it either Think I'd only travel in for drinks or a meal now. Anyway, I got to meet up with my friend for coffee. Last time I saw them, I had just found out I was pregnant with Smallest who is almost 1
Came home, sorted out the kids and watched Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood. My God, that film was about an hour longer than it should have been!
Tomorrow it is a trip to a big park with some of Biggest's friends. Hoping the weather stays dry, feeling almost autumnal here today
@watermelon sugar: We are all here for you if you need us! You clearly have a lot on your plate, please take care of yourself and I really hope the support helps you! Sending you much love
@xx3221: This canβt have been easy. You are so strong, Iβm very proud of you! Much love your way
@Cats_eyes: Belated congratulations on the new job!
@isabellalovescats: I had a sales assistant called Isabella help me pick some nail polish remover the other day, made me think of you haha! Hope you are okay
Hi everyone! My day was a bit of a mixed bag, some family drama but also roast dinner and cake for afters so itβs all swings and roundabouts, I guess. The highlight of the day was me having a long heart-to-heart with my (male) friend. He has fallen out with his boyfriend so I served as an emotional band-aid of sorts, and it was all fine and dandy until he Zoomed and booty called me. For reference, heβs gay. He was nice, polite and okay with me saying no but Iβm still a bit...surprised?
@xx3221: This canβt have been easy. You are so strong, Iβm very proud of you! Much love your way
@Cats_eyes: Belated congratulations on the new job!
@isabellalovescats: I had a sales assistant called Isabella help me pick some nail polish remover the other day, made me think of you haha! Hope you are okay
Hi everyone! My day was a bit of a mixed bag, some family drama but also roast dinner and cake for afters so itβs all swings and roundabouts, I guess. The highlight of the day was me having a long heart-to-heart with my (male) friend. He has fallen out with his boyfriend so I served as an emotional band-aid of sorts, and it was all fine and dandy until he Zoomed and booty called me. For reference, heβs gay. He was nice, polite and okay with me saying no but Iβm still a bit...surprised?
Thank you for all your lovely messages everyone
I hung a pair of my fellas pants on the bedroom door last night and I just woke up and the room was still a bit dark, looked at the bedroom door and thought there was a man staring at me through the gap of the door
i grabbed my fella in a panic and woke him up and then realised it was only his trackie bottoms 
bloody tit myself
I hung a pair of my fellas pants on the bedroom door last night and I just woke up and the room was still a bit dark, looked at the bedroom door and thought there was a man staring at me through the gap of the door
i grabbed my fella in a panic and woke him up and then realised it was only his trackie bottoms bloody tit myself 
@OutrageouslyScarlet hope you mum is ok
@watermelon sugar gosh that's tough. I can't even begin to imagine how painful that all is and to happen around the same time.
I didn't realise you'd had three miscarriages. Sending you lots of love. Try and take care of yourself.
Regarding the other thing, I definitely think you should tell Mr Watermelon. Otherwise we are all here if/when you need. Writing stuff down is definitely cathartic so I hope it helps
It's bizarre how much we 'know' about each other sometimes, but it's a nice feeling
@watermelon sugar gosh that's tough. I can't even begin to imagine how painful that all is and to happen around the same time.
I didn't realise you'd had three miscarriages. Sending you lots of love. Try and take care of yourself.
Regarding the other thing, I definitely think you should tell Mr Watermelon. Otherwise we are all here if/when you need. Writing stuff down is definitely cathartic so I hope it helps
It's bizarre how much we 'know' about each other sometimes, but it's a nice feeling
@watermelon sugar everyone else has said everything already better than I could but just sending my love to you. You are amazing and hope the counselling happens soon for you
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Today Iβm getting on the train for an hour to meet my new team mate and new manager halfway between our cities as weβve never met in person and itβll be nice to before we start the new roles in 3 weeks. Going to have lunch and a mooch about the shops which will be nice.
itβs a busy week ahead this week but thatβs good as it distracts me from missing my little chap at home.
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Today Iβm getting on the train for an hour to meet my new team mate and new manager halfway between our cities as weβve never met in person and itβll be nice to before we start the new roles in 3 weeks. Going to have lunch and a mooch about the shops which will be nice.
itβs a busy week ahead this week but thatβs good as it distracts me from missing my little chap at home.
I thought I would try an experiment and work 9-6 instead of 7-4 to see if having a lie in makes me feel less spaced out... nope. Any suggestions? It feels like my brain is an old dial-up modem.
I think I really need to be going for my walks again, they seem to be the only thing that really clears my head, but I had to order new shoes yesterday as I keep wearing through them. They're the most expensive shoes I've ever purchased (Β£90) and are apparently good for stability so if these ones don't help I'm giving up and just walking everywhere barefoot.
I think I really need to be going for my walks again, they seem to be the only thing that really clears my head, but I had to order new shoes yesterday as I keep wearing through them. They're the most expensive shoes I've ever purchased (Β£90) and are apparently good for stability so if these ones don't help I'm giving up and just walking everywhere barefoot.
i'm having a difficult time catching up on everything but @watermelon sugar it's amazing that you're getting counselling & you sound so strong, sending you so much love 
yesterday after breakfast & a coffee, went to pick up the bikes we had reserved - mine was an electric one which i'd never tried so we first did a few laps around the coast so that i can get used to it - it's really cool and now i want one!
cycled to another village on the island, took us about 20 minutes and as soon as we arrived we jumped into the sea because it was soooo hot
swam for a bit & played with a ball & i even bought swimming goggles, felt like i was 10 again. then hopped back on the bikes and cycled around the village, then through vineyards onto the opposite end to a different beach and swam again!
that was the nicest swimming spot but all that tired us out so we cycled through the vineyards again back onto the opposite side & went for lunch. we had octopus salad to start, then mixed fish platter & calamari, with radler 
after lunch we jumped in the sea one more time, right next to the restaurant
cycled back to the main village to our airbnb, btw we met a wonderful cat there called diego
we had a shower & a quick nap before heading into the old town to return our bikes. i was very sad to see my e-bike leave. next time i'll book it for the whole duration of the stay. or i'll buy one 
then we went to a tapas place for dinner, with wine tasting. i finally showed my bf my favorite wine. the whole dinner was unreal!
then we wanted to have moscow mules at the place we had them previously but it was full so we settled for ice cream 
please remind me to make my own moscow mules! we also bought a local red wine liquor which i love. can't wait for more free time in winter to drink all that alcohol!
currently on the boat back home & i feel like i could cry 
yesterday after breakfast & a coffee, went to pick up the bikes we had reserved - mine was an electric one which i'd never tried so we first did a few laps around the coast so that i can get used to it - it's really cool and now i want one! cycled to another village on the island, took us about 20 minutes and as soon as we arrived we jumped into the sea because it was soooo hot
swam for a bit & played with a ball & i even bought swimming goggles, felt like i was 10 again. then hopped back on the bikes and cycled around the village, then through vineyards onto the opposite end to a different beach and swam again!
that was the nicest swimming spot but all that tired us out so we cycled through the vineyards again back onto the opposite side & went for lunch. we had octopus salad to start, then mixed fish platter & calamari, with radler after lunch we jumped in the sea one more time, right next to the restaurant
cycled back to the main village to our airbnb, btw we met a wonderful cat there called diego
we had a shower & a quick nap before heading into the old town to return our bikes. i was very sad to see my e-bike leave. next time i'll book it for the whole duration of the stay. or i'll buy one then we went to a tapas place for dinner, with wine tasting. i finally showed my bf my favorite wine. the whole dinner was unreal!
then we wanted to have moscow mules at the place we had them previously but it was full so we settled for ice cream please remind me to make my own moscow mules! we also bought a local red wine liquor which i love. can't wait for more free time in winter to drink all that alcohol! currently on the boat back home & i feel like i could cry I haven't posted here for a while as life's been a bit crazy (summer holidays ) but it's nice it catch up on what's been happening. @watermelon sugar you always strike me as being such a lovely, positive person, I'm sorry you're going through such a crap time. But counselling is a great tool, I really hope you find it of benefit. Hope everyone else is well, some amazing photos on here! Very jealous of all the beaches and food!
) but it's nice it catch up on what's been happening. @watermelon sugar you always strike me as being such a lovely, positive person, I'm sorry you're going through such a crap time. But counselling is a great tool, I really hope you find it of benefit. Hope everyone else is well, some amazing photos on here! Very jealous of all the beaches and food!- Status