Does anyone else feel really overstimulated, and then somehow super understimulated as a result? Everything in life atm feels dull repetitive and underwhelming. Weirdly I feel like social media is to blame in a way.
Society has become so hedonistic, over filled faces and plastic surgery in general becoming so normalised, fancy tiktok hyped restaurants with super decadent food and overly curated fancy decor, fashion trend cycles that move so insanely fast! Every feels so commercialised and fake nowadays. And everyone has such high expectations. Even dating, having kids, it’s all about showing off somehow. Just fake performative bullshit. The people I know in real life, it’s all like one big competition. And everyone seems depressed and unsatisfied with their lives.
I just feel like I’m trapped in a simulation somehow. Like I’m watching my life happen to me. My job is blah, my love life has been a series of meaningless ‘failures to launch’, I’ve never felt more hideous and unattractive and nothing seems to help. I travel, get to these beautiful hyped up locations and think ‘oh … is that it’. It’s like I’m waiting for a tiktok sound bite to play, ‘can we skip to the good part TRAAALAAALAALAAAH!’ but it never does. I buy the hyped up make up products and the cute outfits but I never feel good or worthy.
I’m not sure if I’m just depressed or if the superficial strains of modern living are to blame? But I feel miserable and frustrated and honestly wish I’d been born 30 years earlier so I could’ve been a young woman outside of this current era. I can’t live up the expectations and i feel like I can’t enjoy life.