Wedding Planning #4

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Has anyone ever gotten married or planning to get married at their local city hall?
How much did it cost?

I know each city would be different but wanted to have a rough idea!
We got married at the registry office this year, if I remember correctly it would about £300 for the ceremony. We eloped so had the smallest room, it was more for the bigger room, weekends etc.
 
My dress was over £3500 and I kind of regret that now it’s just sitting in a bag. It was lovely and what I wanted, but I’ve seen people in dresses exactly like it that probably cost half the price from places like wed2b. If you can, shop around and see if you can find anything similar by different designers and if not then go for what you want!
This! I got an ex sample dress off the rack for £500 that with a few tweaks was so similar to the made with love dress that I actually wanted but couldn’t bring myself to pay for 😅

Then I got knocked up and couldn’t wear it and had to buy a whole new dress. So I was actually glad I hadn’t spent loads the first time 🫠 but I think if you can comfortably afford it, go for what you want.
 
Hi all! I'm recently engaged and super stressed for zero reason (we don't even have a venue yet) but need a safe space to rant lol
 
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Hi all! I'm recently engaged and super stressed for zero reason (we don't even have a venue yet) but need a safe space to rant lol
Welcome, I wish id used this space more on the run up to my wedding. Would have kept me calmer i reckon. Now im one month in and still annoyed at some people's behavior on the run up to our day, and during!!

Rant away!
 
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Thanks, guys :D

We have our first viewings for venues next weekend. Does anyone have any tips of what to look out for, or ask? We're really early days as we only got engaged two weeks ago but we have a proposed date of March 2027 and so ideally want to get our venue booked in asap!
 
Thanks, guys :D

We have our first viewings for venues next weekend. Does anyone have any tips of what to look out for, or ask? We're really early days as we only got engaged two weeks ago but we have a proposed date of March 2027 and so ideally want to get our venue booked in asap!
Book key suppliers before jan, most people increase their prices at the start of the year. We secured our venue, photographer, and videos in Dec, which saved us 10% roughly (£1.5k)

Photographers get booked up early so find a few you like and make enquiries
 
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Thanks, guys :D

We have our first viewings for venues next weekend. Does anyone have any tips of what to look out for, or ask? We're really early days as we only got engaged two weeks ago but we have a proposed date of March 2027 and so ideally want to get our venue booked in asap!
When looking for photographers in particular, be sure to ask for portfolios that are not just Instagram pages. Most photographers will offer theirs upfront or gladly show you but I found some were quite rude and just pointed me to Instagram. They were also the least experienced yet most expensive!

Also, for all of this, don't be hard on yourself or feel bad if you don't automatically feel special or in a little bridal cloud when doing venue viewings etc. Some people make out like it's a magical experience but you might find yourself going very logical and almost like a health and safety manager inspecting how you'll get down stairs in a dress or how likely people are to slip on a dodgy dancefloor 😂

It's so much fun doing those early viewings though. My fiancé and I actually bonded so much over them!
 
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When looking for photographers in particular, be sure to ask for portfolios that are not just Instagram pages. Most photographers will offer theirs upfront or gladly show you but I found some were quite rude and just pointed me to Instagram. They were also the least experienced yet most expensive!

Also, for all of this, don't be hard on yourself or feel bad if you don't automatically feel special or in a little bridal cloud when doing venue viewings etc. Some people make out like it's a magical experience but you might find yourself going very logical and almost like a health and safety manager inspecting how you'll get down stairs in a dress or how likely people are to slip on a dodgy dancefloor 😂

It's so much fun doing those early viewings though. My fiancé and I actually bonded so much over them!
This is true!! My daughter got married a couple of months ago and when she was venue viewing she ended up thinking about all those things and the number of oldies she had attending with mobility issues etc.

She also knew that a lot of her guests would be traveling for her wedding so ended up with a large hotel with plenty of parking and disabled facilities. She had looked at lots of pretty barn type venues but they all seemed to lack something. Some were spread across several floors which she didn't want. Some had really tiny dance floor space. Are you having a band or a disco?? That type of thing.

I would say obviously have the wedding you want but do try and take into account who your guests are and their needs.
 
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Exactly this @FenellaTheWitch !

We have opted for a hotel, close to where most of our friends are based as our friends make up the majority of guests (it's close to most family too) and everyone has been so appreciative of it. We are in our 30s so wedding season takes a lot out of us and destination weddings or ones with multiple venues (not just the church and local reception) have become a trend so people are TIRED.

One friend literally jumped with joy when I told her it was all happening in one place, 10 miles away, and she could stay over for the night. So simple but it's meant so much and our friends are excited to celebrate with us.

On the flip side, that same friend has a sibling who is having a week long celebration in Italy (both bride and groom are from Yorkshire with zero connection to Italy) that is costing her and her partner £3500 all in. Then because it's her brother, she can't exactly say no. It's been plagued with drama throughout planning and all for the 'gram!
 
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So, I'm now like 3 days out from my wedding day, everything is packed, all the invoices are paid, and the to do list is ready to be actioned once I finish work at 5pm. I am excited but I also can't help but feel... I don't know... In disbelief?

I already live with my fiancé and we both have said our lives won't really change. Our honeymoon is far enough away but close enough that I don't comfortably have time to sort my new name and a new passport in time before hopping on an international flight so even that isn't changing until 2026.

I was chatting with my fiancé and he feels the same, we want it done now, no more waiting 😂

The biggest learning so far though is that we have been so organised, with money, with planning, and with ensuring we got exactly what we wanted for a good price (If we were looking at this totally logistically, we have smashed this), but that you can't rely on other people to follow through with their initial promises.
Out of 4 living parents, only 1 is coming in the end. The other 3 are not coming for totally preventable reasons and it's gutting because we bent over backwards and changed our initial ideas to be more accommodating to them.

I'm a cynic so I knew this would happen but it's hurt my partner especially and it's not fair.

I guess my point of this message is a bit of a rant, a bit of a sharing of "don't worry if you don't feel all magical right towards the end" and also, if you are thinking about changing anything for a parent or someone else outside your couple, please tell them to duck off haha.
 
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Preach!

I know exactly how this feels, including relying on people's promises....
I've come to realise that weddings planning itself isn't stressful, it's the guests 😂

I don't know why people won't just give an answer to an invite (it's ok if it's a no, so long as it's a prompt no), get prepared themselves, and show up?

Even last night, 2 days before, I had someone very close to this whole thing (but not bridal party) message asking if my hair stylist can fit her in for an updo in the morning. No.
 
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Did anyone do a top table with their parents? I lost my mum last year and OH has both of his parents and I worry it'll look uneven, but we also don't have a MOH/Best man (although the best man situation may change, but I'm firm on no MOH as I simply can't choose).
 
Did anyone do a top table with their parents? I lost my mum last year and OH has both of his parents and I worry it'll look uneven, but we also don't have a MOH/Best man (although the best man situation may change, but I'm firm on no MOH as I simply can't choose).
Can you do a sweetheart table that's just you and your partner?

My daughter did that then my husband and I had a table of our friends and family and so did the grooms parents.
 
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I've come to realise that weddings planning itself isn't stressful, it's the guests 😂

I don't know why people won't just give an answer to an invite (it's ok if it's a no, so long as it's a prompt no), get prepared themselves, and show up?

Even last night, 2 days before, I had someone very close to this whole thing (but not bridal party) message asking if my hair stylist can fit her in for an updo in the morning. No.
Do not get me started on the guests. I think that was probably the one looking back that stressed me the most. Some people, no matter how much you prompted them for a yes or no response if they could come or not, they’d just ignore you!
I also had guests right up to two weeks before tell me they were coming, even told me their dinner preference, and therefore I got their names printed onto my table chart etc only for them to tell me a week before they couldn’t come because of childcare… people just think it’s no issue, that you haven’t already got a million things to stress about. I ended up forking out extra a week before for a new table chart, and I don’t really talk to them anymore. I know sometimes things crop up but tbh I just don’t think they ever had any intention of coming.
 
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Do not get me started on the guests. I think that was probably the one looking back that stressed me the most. Some people, no matter how much you prompted them for a yes or no response if they could come or not, they’d just ignore you!
I also had guests right up to two weeks before tell me they were coming, even told me their dinner preference, and therefore I got their names printed onto my table chart etc only for them to tell me a week before they couldn’t come because of childcare… people just think it’s no issue, that you haven’t already got a million things to stress about. I ended up forking out extra a week before for a new table chart, and I don’t really talk to them anymore. I know sometimes things crop up but tbh I just don’t think they ever had any intention of coming.
Same I had 2 people not turn up on the day. 1 clearly had no intention of coming and I haven’t seen or spoken to them since, the other was “ill” but imo it was something they could’ve powered through and left after the meal. So that’s changed my relationship with them now.

This is why my advice is always don’t bend over backwards for guests bc some of them genuinely don’t care 🙄

Also @jojida we had a sweetheart table and it was perfect 🥰
 
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I can't believe the way some guests do behave. We were very lucky in that no one was that inconsiderate and we didn't have any no shows or ast minute drop outs.

Obviously, there are times when there's a genuine reason but to just not show is disgusting. If nothing else, the cost per head can be really expensive.
 
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I can't believe the way some guests do behave. We were very lucky in that no one was that inconsiderate and we didn't have any no shows or ast minute drop outs.

Obviously, there are times when there's a genuine reason but to just not show is disgusting. If nothing else, the cost per head can be really expensive.
I was genuinely considering sending them an invoice for the cost I was (and still am!) fuming.
 
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We had 5 people not come (3 [a couple and their child] told us the week of, two were no shows) and while they all had really good reasons, only one sent us a gift which I was a bit annoyed about, I’m not going to lie.
I know you’re not meant to expect gifts etc, but I would have appreciated a gesture towards the wasted meals!
 
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