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Tinkerbell cat

VIP Member
So its been 3 weeks since my wedding and I'm just back from our honeymoon - still on cloud 9. What a day!
Would love to do it all again but I am so ready now for all the little trips and holidays we can plan without having to worry about putting money into the wedding pot 😂 I really am just buzzing to properly start married life.
Thank you so much to everyone on this thread who helped me with advice etc over the past year and a half.
Good Luck to anyone still planning their wedding - it will absolutely be the best day of your life and all the little worries will just fall into place :)
 
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Joannabloggs

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New to the thread here so apologies if it's already been discussed 🙈

My partner and I have told 3 people when and where we're getting married. We're basically eloping next month with 2 family members as witnesses and I am so relieved about it, it's been wonderful to organise so far..

I am thinking about small details for the day now and wondered If anyone got a special perfume/scent for the day or if you just stuck to a trusted favorite? 😊
Due to working in beauty, I'm lucky that I get to try lots of fragrances and often get them for free or discounted so take my advice which a pinch of salt as I'm speaking from an advantaged position

I would get a new fragrance and am planning to for my wedding. Smells evoke specific memories and I think it's nice to have a particular scent for such a unique and special day. My fiancé and I are going fragrance shopping together, getting samples, and are going to test 5 fragrances in the run up to the day. We will then choose each others scent to wear on the day, that way we know that each other likes it, as I have quite a few perfumes which I love, but my fiancé doesn't like.

On my wedding day, even if I can't guarantee he'll like my dress, I know he'll like my scent

I would advise buy an edp or perfume. EDT and EDT don't last that long and on the day it may me difficult for you to top up. This is why i dont buy jo malone as i find their fragrances too weak and overpriced for the sillage/ projection. Buy an atomiser which you can decant your fragrance into so u can have the spray with you, rather than the whole bottle.

Another tip, be mindful of the time of year you'll be getting married in, eg an Amber maybe to heavy for an August wedding, but lovely for autumn winter
 
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Forallthoseasking

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So, I'm now like 3 days out from my wedding day, everything is packed, all the invoices are paid, and the to do list is ready to be actioned once I finish work at 5pm. I am excited but I also can't help but feel... I don't know... In disbelief?

I already live with my fiancé and we both have said our lives won't really change. Our honeymoon is far enough away but close enough that I don't comfortably have time to sort my new name and a new passport in time before hopping on an international flight so even that isn't changing until 2026.

I was chatting with my fiancé and he feels the same, we want it done now, no more waiting 😂

The biggest learning so far though is that we have been so organised, with money, with planning, and with ensuring we got exactly what we wanted for a good price (If we were looking at this totally logistically, we have smashed this), but that you can't rely on other people to follow through with their initial promises.
Out of 4 living parents, only 1 is coming in the end. The other 3 are not coming for totally preventable reasons and it's gutting because we bent over backwards and changed our initial ideas to be more accommodating to them.

I'm a cynic so I knew this would happen but it's hurt my partner especially and it's not fair.

I guess my point of this message is a bit of a rant, a bit of a sharing of "don't worry if you don't feel all magical right towards the end" and also, if you are thinking about changing anything for a parent or someone else outside your couple, please tell them to fuck off haha.
 
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Raych23

Active member
Here I am looking for advice from this thread again 🤓

So we've been engaged just gone 2 years and our wedding is booked for August, my cousin is also getting married two weeks after us early September. I am bridesmaid for her and she for me so you can imagine the month or 2 before my wedding are turning out to be a little busy!!

We've just been told this week by my sister that she is getting married end of July, this year!!! They haven't checked any dates with us before booking and as it goes I am away for my cousin's hen do on their wedding day, (my sister is not close to my cousin so has no idea on dates etc) Not ideal of course but I've said I'm not cancelling the hen do as it's all organised, booked, paid for in full etc.

Am I being unreasonable?
I think I'd be annoyed that she booked the wedding for just before mine too, like she's swooped to get in there first?
 
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Tinkerbell cat

VIP Member
We've just had our confirmation through and that is our ceremony venue booked and deposit paid for March 2025! It just feels very very very very real now :oops: 😂 🥰
 
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Amylaauren

Chatty Member
Not necessarily wedding planning related but we got married end of may this year and announced our pregnancy in the speeches. It was everything I ever dreamt of HOWEVER
my now (unfortunately) brother in law also decided to bring his 6 month pregnant girlfriend to the wedding that nobody knew was pregnant. Felt like they completely upstaged me, stole our moment etc etc and I’m really struggling to come to terms with it
We never received a gift (not the end of the world but we spent around £300 per couple) and haven’t spoken to us since. I’m so hung up over it and I’m still so hurt!! it’s not my side of the family so not really something I can just confront them about but even if I wanted to, they won’t return my husbands calls etc
 
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Mr Sparkle

Well-known member
Here I am looking for advice from this thread again 🤓

So we've been engaged just gone 2 years and our wedding is booked for August, my cousin is also getting married two weeks after us early September. I am bridesmaid for her and she for me so you can imagine the month or 2 before my wedding are turning out to be a little busy!!

We've just been told this week by my sister that she is getting married end of July, this year!!! They haven't checked any dates with us before booking and as it goes I am away for my cousin's hen do on their wedding day, (my sister is not close to my cousin so has no idea on dates etc) Not ideal of course but I've said I'm not cancelling the hen do as it's all organised, booked, paid for in full etc.

Am I being unreasonable?
Not at all. We checked dates with the most important family members before booking our venue - and that was a year in advance! They surely know the risk they were taking by booking without checking other people's availability.

I'd imagine you'll get some shit about it from your sis but you're not unreasonable, it's a fair choice.
 
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calmyourritas

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So I'm due to get married in Las Vegas next month, me and my partner wanted it this way as we didn't want a big church do, espresso as I don't have the best relationship with my in laws. I told my family of our plans and it didn't go down well at all. They are so angry about it and made their feelings extremely clear.... its upset me so much. All I wanted was for them to be happy for me and understanding. I'm completely heartbroken I haven't got their support/ blessing. It's absolutely breaking me and now all my excitement has gone. Any words of comfort would be welcome xxx🥺🥺🥺🥺
Fuck them. Do what you want to do and enjoy your day xxx
 
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BerlinILoveYou

Well-known member
Also, ive had a vodka tonic and a long day at work.

I just want to be fucking married and not bend to the whims of a load of people.

There. I've said it.
 
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RoseyThorney

Chatty Member
We had our day on Sunday and it was THE BEST. The only thing that went “wrong” is we couldn’t play a song 5 minutes before I was due to walk down the aisle. Our videographer had our teaser trailer delivered in less than 12 hours and had so many previews from our photographer already! One of the best days of my life. 🥰
 
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_Laura

Chatty Member
Little rant about our wedding venue incoming...


Me, every time I hear for our venue coordinator.


I don’t even know where to start, she’s been absolutely useless! Red flags were there from the very beginning. We struggled for three weeks to get the contract after she said she would send it later that day. In the meantime, we kept chasing her and she alternating between not replying or saying we’d get it that day, but nothing happened. She did tell us that they had secured our date in their system, but that wasn't enough for us, we wanted a written contract in place before we started booking our other suppliers. I don't know if we were being too demanding or not. At that point, I told my fiancé I was having second thoughts and was worried the venue was just too new. I even posted about her years ago and should definitely have listened to the advice to walk away 😅 He reassured me, saying it was such a beautiful venue, it would become more popular, and they’d get their act together in the year and a half before our wedding. He also said that because it’s a DIY venue, we wouldn’t actually need her much since we’d be bringing in our own suppliers, etc. I messaged another bride who had gotten married there. She said the coordinator was great, but that her wedding was last-minute, so she couldn’t afford to be slow with replies. That reassured me, thinking it was a good sign the coordinator managed a last-minute wedding.

I’m definitely the worrier in our relationship, so I trusted my fiancé and we went ahead and booked it. But her replies kept being slow. Eventually, I asked my fiancé to take over communication because I thought maybe she had an issue with me chasing the contract so many times. For a while, she was quick to respond to him, so I thought it was just a "me" issue. But then she started being slow again. I’m not talking a couple of days slow, I mean a week minimum, all while posting content on their socials.

We went back to view the venue to take some measurements, and by then we had already paid 60% of the venue. If we hadn’t, I probably would have backed out. The venue is a big barn with on-site accommodation for 20 people. We visited on a Sunday and had to knock on the window until the mother of the bride from the previous night’s wedding let us in. The venue coordinator was inside the barn too, but apparently didn’t notice us. She was behind the bar and didn’t acknowledge us for a while. We stood there awkwardly for a bit, then each went to the loo, with me loudly saying I hoped she’d notice us when we came back. When she finally did acknowledge us, she joked that it had been a heavy night (you’re the venue coordinator, not a guest?!) and laughed, saying she had double-booked herself, so another couple was about to arrive. She kind of rolled her eyes as she laughed like “lol, what am I like?”

I was so frustrated, but by then we were already locked in, so I just had to suck it up and deal with it.

Now, with just two months to go, she’s driving me insane. We’re trying to sort out the drinks since we’ve got our RSVPs back, and my fiancé asked her for a price list or a list of drinks they offer so we can figure out what to do for the drinks reception. I kid you not, her response was, “The bar is well-stocked with everything you can expect to find in a bar, but let me know if you want something else, and I’ll see if I can source it for you.” Am I tripping or is that an insane response? You work at a wedding venue, a couple getting married in two months asks for a list of drinks, and this is the response? I’m not asking for anything fancy or complicated or for you to list every flavour of gin you stock, but can’t you at least tell me, “Glass of cava = £X, glass of prosecco = £Y, bottle of 33cl lager = £Z. We can also do Pimms and whatever for £x a glass"? Are we really the first couple to ask for a list of what they offer? The worst part is that we had to wait three weeks for her to reply (chased after two weeks) and this is the amount of info we get.

I know it's our fault for picking them despite the red flags but 😩 😩 😩

We're really trying not to aggravate her as we don't want her to ruin our wedding day, but it's taking me so much strength to not tell her that we'd really appreciate if the service could reflect the price we paid for the venue (it wasn't cheap!).

Rant over!

ETA:
 
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Hamburglar

VIP Member
So I'm due to get married in Las Vegas next month, me and my partner wanted it this way as we didn't want a big church do, esp as I don't have the best relationship with my in laws. I told my family of our plans and it didn't go down well at all. They are so angry about it and made their feelings extremely clear.... its upset me so much. All I wanted was for them to be happy for me and understanding. I'm completely heartbroken I haven't got their support/ blessing. It's absolutely breaking me and now all my excitement has gone. Any words of comfort would be welcome xxx🥺🥺🥺🥺
That’s really selfish of them. It’s YOUR wedding not theirs so you do whatever you want and fuck them, they will get over it.

There’s something about weddings that makes people lose sense and start expressing opinions about stuff that’s absolutely none of their business.
 
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bellinibobble

VIP Member
I think I'd be annoyed that she booked the wedding for just before mine too, like she's swooped to get in there first?
Yes I agree with this too! Why would she do that? And then has the audacity to moan that you can’t make it. Most decent people with manners know it’s the done thing to honour commitments too. Really sorry you’re in this position 😞
 
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Mamacita

VIP Member
Here I am looking for advice from this thread again 🤓

So we've been engaged just gone 2 years and our wedding is booked for August, my cousin is also getting married two weeks after us early September. I am bridesmaid for her and she for me so you can imagine the month or 2 before my wedding are turning out to be a little busy!!

We've just been told this week by my sister that she is getting married end of July, this year!!! They haven't checked any dates with us before booking and as it goes I am away for my cousin's hen do on their wedding day, (my sister is not close to my cousin so has no idea on dates etc) Not ideal of course but I've said I'm not cancelling the hen do as it's all organised, booked, paid for in full etc.

Am I being unreasonable?
Just to add to what everyone else said, if they're getting married in July that's not really that much notice for people, usually it's like a year for save the dates. Especially for July plenty of people could have holidays booked etc. Tbh I'd be a bit offended she didn't check the date with you
 
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belle235

Member
Guys, a little bit of advice please.

Our wedding is March 2025 and it is here in Northern Ireland, my partner, however, is originally from England so he will have friends and family members traveling over - just wondering the best time to send out invitations.
he wants to send them out to his family and friends soon so they can make arrangements. Still, I feel it might be too soon as people will probably need a gentle reminder again closer to the time to RSVP as obviously, people's circumstances change. Some things might come up for different people closer to the wedding date.
I had originally thought to send out invites around November.
My partner suggested perhaps sending the invites to those who will need to make travel arrangements soon and leave sending invites to those who live closer until later in the year, but I'm not sure.

We have sent out save the dates already ages ago

thanks for the help in advance :)
honestly send them now. we sent out STDs a year in advance, and our invites 8 months before the wedding ( a lot of guest having to travel/accommodation) and people won't forget to RSVP. And you'll find those who hold off are people who are unsure if they can make it regardless of when you send them out.

So yeah. Wedding is August, Invites went out December, and we gave our guests until the end of March to RSVP. we didn't need to chase any of our guests up :) good luck!!
 
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RoseyThorney

Chatty Member
hello, do you have anxiety of people getting drunk and ruin your wedding day?
Yes, both my parents, who I’m very close to uninviting anyway because their behaviour towards me has been appalling as of late. Mr Rosey and I are asking certain friends to essentially act as bouncers for anyone acting up on the day. 😂
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what’s the general thoughts on a videographer? Just putting estimate figures together and I feel like it’s potentially a cost we could do without but not sure if it’ll be a regret.
We’re having a videographer - it was Mr Rosey’s non-negotiable and he wanted someone who would basically make a mini-movie out of our day as opposed to a slideshow with some music over the top. We’ve gone with Daniel Johnson Weddings to give you an idea of what we’re after. I think depending on how often you think you’ll rewatch it and the style you’re wanting then it’s still worth booking someone who is just starting out and getting their portfolio off the ground, as they’ll be able to do it at a lower budget (that’s just me assuming of course that you want to keep things on the lower end of the budget scale).
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So our friggin’ venue emailed me this morning saying they’ve fudged our ceremony timing and will be changing it to what they say it should be. We are four months away from our wedding, we’ve had the venue booked for over a year, have a booking confirmation with our original timings and have had numerous communications throughout. I even emailed them at the end of November confirming our timings as we wanted to send invitations out, which we did at the beginning of December after THEY confirmed everything was okay.

I’m quite proud that I didn’t have a Bridezilla moment but I was quite curt with them and said that the admin stress of informing all our guests, wasting money on invitations and telling all our suppliers about the new time isn’t something we should shoulder and that we’re hoping they’ll still honour the original time as we’re spending a lot of money with them. I was so close to pulling the plug on it all as we’ve only paid the deposit so far.

They got back to me saying they’ve checked the diary (it’s not an exclusive-use venue) and will honour the original time and have changed the booking confirmation back to what we’ve always been told it would be. I’m glad it’s been sorted but I just feel like I didn’t need to be involved in all that stress, when they could’ve just checked that the diary was free and discussed amongst themselves that the fuck up was on their end and honour it anyway without talking to us!!

Rant over. 😅
 
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_Laura

Chatty Member
You need calm before the day, and I don't think people should be in your space unless you invited them there. The room will be manic particularly when you factor in your dad family etc. Considering you and your bridesmaids are foreign and presumably dont all live in the same countries anymore, when do you have time to all be alone together and have fun? You shouldn't have to worry about speaking in your native tongue for their sake just because they dont speak the language. Imo your inlaws should get ready elsewhere and see you at the wedding

Another factor is who is paying for their HMUA? All beauty people I know need additional people and cash once the number gets over a certain amount, are you willing to have 3 people do all this just to accommodate your in laws, are you okay with you paying or do you want them to pay. Even if they come late morning, the time before the ceremony is spent on touch ups as the photographers videographers may have notes once they see you in film, them showing up before your about to leave could mean u get less time for this

On your wedding day you shouldn't have to suck anything up. It's nice that you don't want to offend, but I find it quite offensive that they invited themselves to your suite because its "easier for them", rather than them wanting to spend time with you
Thank you 🙏 You've made so many good points and it's good to know I'm not overreacting! I hadn't thought about the last bit (in bold), but you're so so right!

No you're not being dramatic at all , i would feel the same. I know its not a good idea to lie but maybe you could say your MUA is no longer able to fit them in but offer to help find another one as you already said
Could you tell them they can come to the venue for 5:45am in their pyjamas to have hair/make up done between 6 & 7 and then go back to their accommodation to get changed? That might put them off 😂
Thank you both! So I did tell them that they'd need to be there for 6 in the morning and my MIL had a bit of a "is this a joke?" reaction but my SIL quickly intervene to say it would be fine and they'd be there for 6.

It ended up talking to my fiancé about it this weekend; I explained how I felt and also told him that I thought his mum put me in a difficult position with my brother-in-law's partner. She hasn't been mentioned in all of this, but MIL and SIL tagging along for hair and makeup meant that I had the choice between asking my BIL's girlfriend whether she wanted to be involved or not say anything to her and risk having her feel excluded when SIL and MIL go to get ready, leaving her at the accommodation they're sharing. In the end, we asked her if she wanted to get her hair and makeup done, she said yes... which is great news and what we were hoping for because we simply can't add 3 people. My MUA had told me that she could fit my MIL and SIL in, but that that was it, as one more person meant hiring another MUA which significantly brings the costs up... So I'm going to find a HMUA person to go to their accommodation and my fiancé will explain that logistically it just wasn't feasible but that we found someone for them instead 🙏

Hi guys, popping back in to say… I’m married!!! We had such a beautiful day. Really over the moon about it, and sad it’s over!

However one big thing out a dampener on the day… our florist really effed up, and is being pretty petty and unreasonable. I wish I could say I was so happy with the day that I didn’t notice the things that went wrong with the florals… but truth is, it did upset me. I loved the wedding, but equally I was deeply disappointed in her lack of professionalism. She’s since been rude to us and I’m feeling down in the dumps about it.

My advice is… trust your gut. Totally. You’re not a bridezilla for wanting to get the service you paid for, or the items you ordered. Small mistakes happen but professional incompetence isn’t ok.

There were a lot of red flags about our florist that I ignored because I wanted to support a local business, I liked her designs and I was plain fatigued with wedding planning so I powered on through despite my misgivings because I didn’t want to go back to square one. My gut instinct proved to be right on all fronts though. Literally everything.
Congratulations!!
I'm so sorry to read about the flowers, though! Can I ask what happened? I suppose it won't change anything for you but is there somewhere you could leave an honest review? The lack of professionalism isn't acceptable really, is it? I understand things happen and things can go wrong, but there's a reason people rely on professionnals!
 
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