I'm so sorry for your loss.
From my experience, when I lost my nan I went to see her to say goodbye, and I was upset because she didn't look like how she was in life, however it also brought me comfort because for me, it made me realise we are all just a shell here on earth. And I felt that the love we had was stronger and longer lasting than our earthly bodies. It made me realise that she wasn't there anymore and in that moment it gave me peace. Sending love. As The Queen said 'grief is the price we pay for love' and its so true. Lots of love to you xxxxx