TTC / Pregnancy after a loss

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Elltee

Well I'm out this month, my period just arrived. I'm absolutely gutted. Especially after having a MC last month I thought we may get lucky this month why is ttc so hard
 
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sushimama

I'm sorry to hear that. Were you successful quickly the previous time? Hopefully june will be your month
 
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Elisha97

Had my midwife appointment today.. even though I’m pregnant, I found the new mums and babies and heavily pregnant women SO triggering, as well as having to explain my history. I feel really nervous now as well because I’m reaching the same gestation I miscarried at before. It was a missed miscarriage as well, so I’m really over analysing everything. I wish I could be chilled out and happy and focus on just being grateful
 
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Londonsays

I couldn’t resist and did an early test, the 6 days early one and it’s negative… this time today I did it 2 months ago and it was positive. Fresh wave of sadness swept over me.
 
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sushimama

I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow and my MC happened at 6 weeks so I'm feeling really anxious today. I know there's zero chance to happen twice on the same exact day but I will still feel better once the mark is behind me. Good thing is I got a first dye stealer today and that eased my mind a little.

It's also a little sad looking back because the previous time my test lines were not getting darker and if it wasn't my first pregnancy maybe I would've known something was not right and it would prepare me for the outcome a little. Left was first pregnancy day 12dpo-26dpo and right is this one, day 10dpo-25dpo.

Only a week to go to the first ultrasound and I really really hope I will be able to see the heart.

 
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Elisha97

These tests look really good! Fingers crossed for you 🩷
 
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RoseyThorney

I feel like I’ve found my people in here as I felt like such a fraud posting in the other threads.

Period is due today, so we will see. We agreed that if we’re not successful this time around then we’ll take a year off from trying and just focus on our wedding.

I’m waiting on some blood results from a recurrent miscarriage specialist. Had to go via BUPA because my experience of the NHS has been abysmal throughout this whole journey.
 
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anything at all

It’s shocking how bad the nhs can be when going through a miscarriage isn’t it ! I know they’re under stress but there is this lack of care..

Mine was 5 years ago but I’ll never forget how poorly I was treated. Questioned over and over: ‘was I even ever pregnant’ by some staff at the epu, made to sit on a filing cabinet to take my blood because they didn’t have a chair in the room I really did not want to go back for my second set of bloods to check levels were decreasing ok because of how poor the experience was !! Then back at my GP I’m told it’s okay because I’ll fall pregnant again soon… try 5 more years love
And another GP I saw a few weeks after my mc thought I was there for a 6 week post birth check up.. when I was there for pain following the mc


I know I had my baby since that mc but I hope no one minds me being on this thread either! Ttc#2 but with the fear of future mcs
 
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Elisha97

My NHS treatment after my miscarriage was mostly shocking and I’ve still not been able to get help for MH issues even though it’s supposedly been expedited! I tried going private and they ghosted me for 6 months and the woman cancelled my session 3 times, did it over zoom in her front room, and kept mentioning her son knowing why I was there for the counselling
 
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lauren96111

I’m going through this now. I had fertility treatment for my first child so when I found out I was pregnant this time it was such a shock.
I am apparently 6+4 today. Starting spotting on Saturday and it’s continued to get heavier. GP was amazing on Monday and rang the EPU. They said tell her to come in but don’t promise her anything. I got there and was basically told we can scan you in a weeks times. Thankfully I argued my case and got a scan for Tuesday. Start of a pregnancy could be seen but was told to come back next Tuesday for follow up scan. Just left in limbo now and they said if it is bad news you can try again as soon as your period arrives. Not helpful information at all during all this never mind my past history of struggling to conceive. I haven’t even had bloods done. The whole system is broken and it just seemed like a revolving door to get you out as quick as possible
 
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Keera

Reading all your stories I feel so sorry for you all and it’s awful you’ve had to go through all that with your EPUs. I feel grateful (maybe not the right word?) that my local EPU and A&E have been so great.
my first pregnancy I had bleeding and panicked and went to A&E and even though they couldn’t do very much so late at night they were lovely and a Dr from the gyn ward came down to do a scan and sorted for me to go to the EPU the next day.
My second more recent one I was under the EPU for fortnightly scans due to continued bleeding and when it was unfortunately diagnosed as a MC I saw two sonographers, a specialist nurse and a dr who were all so kind and let me take as much time as I wanted with them. The next day I had to go back for an anti-d injection before the meds and the nurse who gave me it had been floated from another ward to help and even she was so nice.

I think it makes the difference is although the staff see what we have gone through day in day out they don’t just treat you as another patient.

——

im 8 weeks + 1 day I believe today and despite the symptoms absolutely killing me and a perfect scan 2 weeks ago I still can’t help but think “what if” - I just want to enjoy my pregnancy
 
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Facehugger

hello ladies. I'm so sorry for all you have all been through. I wish you all well in your future journeys. I don't know if this is the right place to ask, please forgive me if not. My daughter in law will sadly lose her baby at 21 weeks tomorrow (tmfr) as baby won't survive. In case the medical professionals don't tell her, could anyone tell me if she needs to do pregnancy tests still afterwards until HCG is gone & they turn negative? They want to try again asap, bless them thanks for any advice from a very worried Nanny xx
 
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Keera

im so sorry for your family

I think she may have to take tests afterwards (which will be at a predetermined time by her medical team) to make sure there are no pregnancy tissues left after the procedure. I’m not sure how long it will take before a negative test due to her stage of pregnancy. They should explain all of this to her and give her paperwork explaining this also tomorrow .

sending so much love
 
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Facehugger

Thank you so much Keera They're in the USA so not sure what they'll advise her, if they don't I just want to tell her what to do. I really appreciate your reply, bless you. Thank you lovely xx
 
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lauren96111

I don’t have any advice but thinking of you and your family xx
 
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MsCunk

Hello. Just joining this thread and couldn’t read this and not reply. I had a tfmr last year. I am UK based but we got a lot of support and information from the charity ARC (antenatal results and choices) from their telephone support and resources online. They aren’t just for the parents but anyone in the family who need support or more info. I am sure if you contacted them they would be able to give some information and maybe some contacts for the US. There are also some private FB groups that are really helpful. Or on Insta TFMR Mamas is a good starting point. Sending you and your family so much love and hugs.

Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) – non-directive information and support before, during and after antenatal screening

www.arc-uk.org
 
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Facehugger

Thank you so much, this is so helpful, I will look into that. And thank you for your good wishes. It's so hard being a Nanny, not the Mum having to deal with a loss, I just want to try and help my kids. Xx
 
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Elisha97

I’m 9 and a half weeks pregnant and yesterday I seemed to have the tiniest spec of blood in my discharge. It hasn’t happened since and my EPU won’t see me for a scan because they’re not concerned at all. However, the exact same thing happened at the same time with my first pregnancy and I’d had a missed miscarriage. I can’t even find anywhere that will take me for a private scan for a week and I’m just beside myself with worry. I know most people would tell me not to panic, that it’s normal, and will be fine, but I don’t have that luxury of being able to assume that any more
 
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