Toddler advice thread

[Kim Mild]

This is more of a whinge than needing advice.

We need a whole new evening routine and getting ready for bed routine in our house. It's all getting too chaotic and the whole household needs to be working together for the little ones to wind down and have bathtime.

 

[hannah1799]

My 3.5 year old has always been a great speaker but struggles to pronounce her ‘s’’ and for some reason can’t say ‘fish’ she says ‘shush’ if you look at speech sisters on Instagram they are very good at explaining this kind of thing and might help you feel reassured it is very normal I would say. I had loads of words I couldn’t pronounce properly ad a child and my parents still joke about it now!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

oohh I really want to but you know when you’re just scared of making a bad situation worse lol she has a costume so I’ll get some arm bands and start mentioning going swimming to get her excited. Good idea keeping it totally separate and not even comparing to a bath. She still loves water play and loves washing up etc. So maybe this will just be the missing piece she needs

Thanks for the advice x

I think you just need to bite the bullet. Just say to her “ohhhh guess what, tomorrow we are doing something really exiting!!” And then really hype it up, get her excited and just do it. And if she doesn’t like it, show her it’s ok - it’s safe, just go easy. See if your local pool has a separate baby pool or mum & children sessions so it’s a bit more age appropriate.

have you tried getting a small, cheap paddling pool and giving her a bath in that in the house? You can get those Small ones and if you did it so it was just deep enough for her to sit in with legs covered, you could used a jug of warm water to do a quick rinse/soap/hair wash etc

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Guess I’m the only one who’s toddler loves calpol

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

She does go to bed late, somewhere between 8 and 9. I wouldn’t mind bringing her into our bed but she just won’t settle there. I posted a while back on here as I still rock her to sleep (I really think I’ve made a rod for my own back ).

You’re right though @honey&lemon getting our evenings back would be nice. She tends to get tired around 4-5pm if she doesn’t have a nap. On the odd occasion it’s happened and I’ve put her down early, she’s treated it like a nap so then been awake for a few hours from 7/8pm. She’s been a nightmare sleepwise, I’d like her to have a sibling but we’re both so shattered there’s not much chance of that

My daughter now 2.5 dropped naps around 15 months. I never let her sleep before 6. It was a bit cruel some evenings but I had to push her through and then she slept better. She slept in my bed til January when we moved her to a double bed in her own room. I lie with her to sleep and then go in first wake up as I really cannot function without sleep.
I fed her to sleep until January and felt like I’d made a rod for my own back until she just decided she didn’t want to do that anymore, and was happy with a cuddle. We all do what we need to so please don’t think you’ve caused this!
I do think she is old enough to understand if you explain to her you can’t rock her anymore and if you try a new bed and big it up and get her excited you could start a new routine in it. Even if it’s just lying with her to begin with. She will be upset but give her lots of reassurance and push through it for a few nights and she will get there.

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Thank you ladies! All of above I’ve got on my list so think we’ll be ok, I just need to stop I literally said to myself don’t feel guilty for buying/asking for money towards farm/zoo/various memberships for him as I know he’ll enjoy that so much more than loads of toys (especially after Christmas) but you know when you just look at stuff and feel instant guilt we went so overboard for my eldest when he was 2 so really trying to reign it in!

 

[watermelon sugar]

Guess I’m the only one who’s toddler loves calpol

mine does too, he’d neck it by the bottle if I’d let him

 

[WhatABore]

See I’m not much keen on meals myself. I’m all about the snack foods

They're not even interested in snacks.
I let them have control of how much they want and my 4yo will go and get a bowl and put 2 smarties in it. And she's like "No. That's enough"
Then half the time, doesn't even eat them
They never ask for sweets or chocolate or anything
They're broken

All of the kids, including Everleigh now, will always eat the veg first and usually, if they leave food, it's rarely the veg. That's normally all gone

 

[nurseren]

Food is the first form of control that children receive.

She’s doing it for attention and as a form of control. When she’s next sick on her food don’t react at all, don’t even speak to her. Just lift the plate and walk away. Give her the next meal at normal meal time and again, if she’s sick on it again, remove it and don’t acknowledge or engage with her.


It’s hard but it is just a phase and if you can show that it’s not remotely bothering you and that she doesn’t get any attention from doing it, it will start to loose it’s appeal.

^^ I agree with this entirely. When my son says he doesn’t want to eat, I tell him to leave the table and I’ll sit and eat by myself. If he starts, I tell him to put his tea in the bin and there’s no more food.

 

[Jellybean093]

I'm not sure if it's an age thing but my 4yo has only been eating dinners for maybe the past year.
Before that, she'd maybe have 1 bite of something and have had enough. Not even like she'd ask for something sweet after. She just wouldn't want it.

I don't know what's wrong with my kids. None of them are keen on food.
The complete opposite to me. Food is life

I just don’t want him to end up like the other 2 who don’t eat, or moan with everything I put in front of them
I am such a foodie. I love food. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between
I think my problem with the boys, is that I was pregnant when kid was 3. I was pregnant when toddler was 18 months, and the pregnancies floor me and I get ‘lazy’ and just do things to make life easier. The. They get used to the quick foods and won’t eat like they did
I have no excuse for my eldest, apart from her being at that awkward age. She does well with fruit and veg though!

 

[al255]

Please can someone break down how I start potty training? I won’t be using a potty but I’ll be using a seat on the toilet with a step for my daughter. I’m going to start in a few week and see what response I get! Do I just have nappy free time and keep asking her if she needs wee? I don’t get it at all

 

[hannah1799]

Just knowing other people are the same makes me feel a bit better.

Yes she is happy to play on her own most of the time, and she will have some chill out time in her room with her ipad or books. Im hoping when she starts school full time it will help more as her days at nursery aren’t as bad.

i keep reminding myself its all just a phase but honestly this has been the most horrendous phase so far.

I would rather do the early toddler 4am start of the day phase

I agree, my daughter is 4 next month and I’m on the countdown to school! She’s been the hardest she’s ever been since she was born. I didn’t find the ‘terrible twos’ no where near as hard. Only a few days ago I was on the phone to my mom sobbing because I’m finding it so hard! I feel like she is debating and arguing with me daily according to my mom who is a teacher says it’s really common that the parents of pre school kids are finding this age difficult and apparently it does help when they start school!

 

[WhatABore]

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nearly broken my ankle after putting him for his nap and falling on a train he loves it. He’s had free reign since he was about 2, but has only just started playing nicely and setting up the tracks

He’s definitely neglected, but sometimes kids like playing by themselves and we can’t wrap them up all the time! Otherwise they end up like kid bean who needs someone there all the time

This is exactly what she was like. She's always needed someone near.
So I'm super proud of her actually getting to the point of going in her room herself.
I think it's good for them! She gets to play in her little imaginary world uninterrupted and free.

I'm back again to ask about my 4yo and development.
I think it's the going to school which has brought it in I'm in full Mum guilt mode and feeling like I haven't done enough and I'm "running out of time"

We went to a big playground yesterday.
We haven't been loads, mainly because of lockdown ect, then having a baby and stuff after.
But my 4yo struggles on play equipment.
She can't climb things herself, especially if it's not something that it's straight forward ladder ect. Even then if the gaps are too big, she struggles and she can't work out how to get up once at the top.
And it's made me feel so guilty. Like I've not taken her enough.
Especially yesterday, I noticed how there were kids much smaller than her, doing it by themselves.

I panic myself anyway because I'm so worried about her getting hurt.
She also struggles with confidence when doing things. Even simple things like putting her socks on, if she can't get it on, that's it, she's in tears and she insists she can't do it, even though she does it every day.
I don't know why she's like that because I'm always so encouraging to try things and praise when she does it.

Had massive guilt yesterday realising we got her a bike for christmas and she's only been on it 4 or 5 times because it has a flat tyre and I keep forgetting to buy a pump So now I feel like I've wasted all this time not taking her out.

With the playground thing, I'm so worried they'll go on a school trip or something and all the kids will be playing on a playground and she can't do it!

 

[al255]

My daughters dad comes round on a Tuesday so I can go to the gym straight after work & wash my hair in peace.. he always gets her hyper or he winds her up before bed and I hate it! Mummy and A have a nice quiet bedtime routine and I’ve said to him if he carries on he can stay till she’s asleep

 

[quinzel]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my initial post! we are most days not bothering with a nap and it's working quite well! Also regarding his speech, . Really helped hearing of other experiences and knowing we are not alone! My son has actually come on leaps and bounds with his speech in the last couple of months. He was 2 in october and every day he says something new. We are still not getting sentences just single words but he is saying so many I couldn't even keep count. I do notice sometimes he just says the beginning of the word, for example for teeth he will say "teee" but he is getting there and I am really happy with his progress!

Also loving how much more aware of christmas he is this year. This is his 3rd christmas but definitely the first year he has known there is something going on! I am seriously struggling for places to hide his presents as we don't have the biggest house! We also can't wrap anything until christmas eve because if he sees a wrapped present he will instantly want to open it whether it's for him or not lol.

 

[WhatABore]

I just wanted to say I have the same routine as yourself. We are up in the morning ready and out be it park or groups, lunch like yourself sometimes while we are out and back for nap at 12.30. I have a couple of friends who children are two also and tell me my life shouldn’t revolve around him napping and he should nap while I’m out. My son has a much more settled sleep when we are at home which is why during the week I’m more than happy to come home and let him nap. If we happen to be on a day out at weekend to farm park etc he will nap in his buggy but it won’t be as long. I also got told he would sleep better during the night if I dropped his nap. I couldn’t not let him nap as he’s very active and come lunch he is exhausted. My son sleeps ok during the night he’s never been one for sleeping 12 hours but I feel they are all different with sleep just like adults. Sort of went off went on a bit but just wanted to say I’m the same as you and if it works for our children and us that’s all that matters

People always think dropping a nap will make them sleep better when in actual fact, if they need that nap, dropping it will probably make them sleep worse because they're over tired

 

[Definitelyme]

YES THIS EXACTLY!!! My friends who’s kids are older said oh she will sleep in the car. Yes for all of 20 mins? How is that fair when she needs a proper rest to recharge. It’s only me that’s looking after her so why would I put myself through only letting her have a 20-30 min nap and she’s in a right mood all afternoon they didn’t get why I do things in a morning. I’d purposely book our toddler groups as early as possible so we have time for lunch and naptime, that’s how my life runs. I can’t be a fluid parent who doesn’t have a clue how long they’ve slept for etc it would drive me insane. I love routine and my daughter thrives off it x

I feel we would be very good friends in real life we could have endless morning fun before nap time was needed!

 

[WhatABore]

So glad to find this thread. I have searched to see if this has been asked about before but couldn’t see anything on it, which means it might just be me who’s a mug… my daughter is 2.5 and I still have to cuddle and rock her to sleep at night. I have to get her to sleep before she goes in the cot 99% of the time otherwise she just won’t go to sleep. I tried a few things when she was younger to try and get her to go to sleep independently but I just couldn’t take the crying so here we are.

Any advice or is anyone in the same boat?

I would suggest exactly the same as @Definitelyme
Can you get her a big bed so you can lay with her until she falls asleep instead of rocking her?
We moved ours out around 2 into a bed with a bed guard.
Got them a gro clock too so they could help 'put it to bed' every night

 

[BettyCrockerr]

What sort of age does everyone recommend trying potty training? My boy was 2 in October and is showing a lot of signs. He’s peed in the potty twice now but admittedly we have not been the most consistent with it!

Don’t bother with a potty - just set a week aside where you can be home with him, put him into pants from the start and take him to the loo every 15 minutes - pants down, on the loo. Go through the whole process. He will wet himself, it will be messy! But he will get it, and after a few days it will be a done deal.

 

[xoxo GG]

My daughter won’t eat a sandwich for me but will eat one for her dad and nursery she’s having me right on

My daughter is the same. She eats all sorts at nursery and at my mums, then she gets home and everything is disgusting and yucky