Toddler advice thread

[Definitelyme]

Thank you ladies. She is a firecracker and smart as a whip. But she is also very sensitive and shy. She struggles with other people and children. I take her to playgroups and encourage her but can see she will struggle at preschool and I want to be able to support her. I also don’t want her to think she’s having to be sent away because of the baby.
My mum agrees we should wait but my partner is quite keen to get her started there as he thinks it will help her with her social skills.
I do worry she won’t want to make friends, but hoping she’ll meet a child like yours who is super sociable and takes her under her wing. She’s really good with older girls but she’s not quite sure what to make of the younger ones.

Is there any way she could get to know some kids who would be in her class? Our nursery is part of our school, and linked with our church so I’ve always gone to the mums and tots there (even though I hate them) because there are usually a good few kids who will go to the nursery class. It helps (maybe me, but I assume the kids too!) being able to say "and John will be in your class, so will Jane".
Not that, tbh, it helped my son. His best friend (joined at the hip) was in his nursery class, had known him all his life…still cried daily

I know a lot of people don’t like the label shy, I don’t mind it, but all my kids are very shy, and no amount of being with others did anything to change that tbh.

 

[al255]

So we went away last week too and my daughter 2.9 was just a mess. Wanted to go out but couldn’t cope and then in the caravan was meltdown after meltdown. I think they’ve both been poorly and being away from home for so long must be really hard. I found it really difficult on holiday and even cried when she went to bed. My partner is useless with her anyway and she just wants mummy so I got overwhelmed and shouty which makes me feel awful. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and I think holidays with toddlers are no fun

Now you’re at home hopefully she’ll settle back into a routine. It defo is their age, I’ve found the last few months difficult. With the cooking, can you get her involved? I have a little stool she stands on and she washes the veg and has a toddler knife she helps cut soft veg up with. Also scooping so I’ll cut the hard veg like broccoli and she’ll put it into the roasting dish for example. If she’s not coping well I’ll put the tv on for her while I get on with the dinner. But I’ll turn it off and get her to help lay the table so it’s not a meltdown about eating. She doesn’t do that well either

Thank you for this honest post, I needed it! We go away all the time - it’s not new to her being in a caravan or on a plane etc! Sorry it’s been tough for you too..

It just really pisses me off when she’s like this and I feel like the whole holiday is pointless, she’s just had chicken pox too so probably still getting over that but I couldn’t cancel the hol / didn’t want to just to sit at home anyway.

So I was making sausages and mash (was just sorting them out in the oven) and then washing the stuff up i’d used. It’s just frustrating cos she gets in my way, everything takes twice as long! Usually she sits and watches tv and everything is fine. Just needed to rant, this week has been the hardest ever! I’ve lost my patience so many times and just felt like a horrible mum but when she doesn’t listen and there’s no rhyme or reason to why she’s getting annoyed and I’ve nobody to take over, it’s hard!

Is your little one getting hangry while you are cooking?

No, I gave her some grapes to eat and sit down with quietly so I could get on with it and she kept annoying me

 

[Lilykins]

I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for a fussy/picky/little eater? My 21 month old just really isn’t keen on food. She has never had a massive appetite but I’ve really seen it plummet since about 17/18 months old. She never finishes whatever we give her, sometimes refuses and pushes a plate away before she has even tried food, and will regularly have 3-5 mouthfuls before stopping. This is even after moaning for her dinner. I also feel I’ve fallen in to a slump of what to give her as she just seems to reject everything and im honestly stuck with what to give. If the girl could live on crackers and crisps she would!! Frustratingly she eats fine at nursery where she is 3 days a week….I mirror their times so she is a consistent routine but she still seems to eat more there! Apparently my mum said I was exactly the same when I was a toddler so maybe it’s karma/genetics having a joke on me but being serious, meal times fill me with dread and have become my least favourite part of parenting.
So basically does anyone have any advice or tips on how to weather the storm? Any books that are good or recipe books I could try to help? Thank you!

 

[bottombanana]

Should he just be able to stay dry whenever we’re out then? I thought he’d need to learn that aspect as well or once they know when they need to wee they just ask to go or take themselves regardless of being in a different environment?

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

This is my little girl
I don't know if she like this due to my family being tall and were all soild but slightly overweight family amd half of the family is tall both sides (his family about the same as us) I just don't want people to think she heavy due to over eating (my neighbours know she doesn't eat much and active but do say she heavyweight but it's great it's just other people on the street that don't know us well)

She’s not big at all! My son feels like he weighs an absolute tonne but he’s not big at all … this is him when he’s sat down .. he doesn’t have any belly rolls he just feels really heavy

 

[quinzel]

At least we know we're not alone!

I don't know if you seen some of the suggestions given further up the thread I'm going to try those. If you do, let me know how you get on!

 

[Definitelyme]

Twice a month at most.


Sorry thought you misred my post.
I think McDonald’s just had bad connotations associated. The chips aren’t actually salted anymore and fish fingers woukdnt be sniffed at at nursery etc. whereas a burger twice a week would be different. I think it depends what they are being fed x

The chips are definitely salted - you can see the salt grains on them!

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Hi guys. Just wondering if I can get some fellow parental opinions.

Took my 2.5 year old daughter to A&E Thursday night. Basically the childminder told me when I picked her up, that she's choked on some food at lunch and been sick, but that she was otherwise ok and just scared herself a bit mainly. Anyway, when we got home, she was hysterical, kept putting her fingers in her mouth, gagging, pulling these weird faces and sticking her tongue out and just generally miserable. So I rang 111 as I was worried that maybe some food was still lodged or something. The GP told me to go to A&E. They were a bit off with us and made us feel like we'd wasted their time, but they listened to her lungs and tried their best to look in her mouth (difficult!) and said nothing was there but maybe her throat was just sore from being sick or she was traumatised etc.
Roll on the next morning, she wakes up with a raging temp of 39.9. I instantly have visions of this being connected and her having bloody sepsis or something so we ring 111 again. After an age on hold, they say to wait for a callback from a GP. 5 hours later, the GP books us a face to face appointment. We turn up, GP is fuming we haven't done a lateral flow (my bad but I don't have any and I'm not paying!). Basically checks her temp which is lower by now as we've given Calpol etc, listens to her chest, checks briefly in her mouth and diagnoses tonsillitis.
NOW my issue is, the doc at the A&E the night before actually expressly said 'her tonsils are quite big but not red and definitely not infected'.
We've been given antibiotics (Penicillin V) but I cannot get them in to her for love nor money. 4 of us pinning her down and she still won't open her mouth and I've tried everything. She gets so distressed she then vomits and it's a waste of time. Can't put it in yoghurt or juice as it's bright orange, so she notices the colour change and the taste and just refuses it.

I know antibiotics are important but:

1) I'm wondering how two different GPs can have such differing opinions when they barely looked in her mouth in the first place.
Also she now has a runny nose and cough, which surely is a virus and ABs won't work?
2) Is it worth distressing my daughter and making her vomit? Disguising it is just not working and I'm worried she'll refuse to eat or drink even the tiny amount she is now having, as she suspects me of hiding it in her food.

If you read all this, thank you

My son suffers chronic tonsillitis and unfortunately it does come on extremely fast so both doctors could have been right although doesn’t take away from the shocking care you received! The fact she was gagging on her food and has a raging temperature suggests tonsil inflammation and probably bacterial (you can’t always see the puss so don’t worry!)

Has she had amoxycillin recently by any chance? It’s unusual for them to prescribe Pen V from the get go in my experience as it’s absolutely vile. We’ve just been prescribed it but only after x2 other rounds of antibiotics for tonsillitis that won’t shift. Go back to the docs and ask for different ones. A nasty bout of tonsillitis can be completely awful and can lead to nastier infections so she needs to have them if she does have it so worth a shot asking for different ones. Hope she feels better soon! Lots of treats and rewards for taking it, we find chocolate buttons work a treat (also should just say tonsillitis can make them vomit easier anyway so if she’s feeling crappy anyway it’s a whole concoction for not a happy toddler!!) Xxx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Twice a month at most.


Sorry thought you misred my post.
I think McDonald’s just had bad connotations associated. The chips aren’t actually salted anymore and fish fingers woukdnt be sniffed at at nursery etc. whereas a burger twice a week would be different. I think it depends what they are being fed x

No I didn’t misread haha I was saying for me I think twice a week is excessive as she takes him twice a week sometimes

McDonald’s goes through all of us! I don’t know why we do it. I mean, I do because it’s one day a week when I can’t be arsed to argue about dinner
Can you pack him a lunchbox?

I tried the lunchbox and she claimed he wouldn’t eat it … but I know that’s bollocks. She’s a weirdo and a control freak she has to have things her way

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Does anyone have any advice on how to drop the night feeds. My one year old- only just turned one, wakes 2/3 times a night to feed- bottle fed. And it’s probably my fault but he associates settling to sleep with a bottle. Which makes night times hard. We really need to break the habit. He drinks very little in the day, despite it being offered and available at all times. And saves himself for all fluids at night.

I would stop feeding them to sleep at bedtime, give milk but take it away before they pass out and let them fall asleep on their own rather than while drinking. Removing the sleep association and letting them fall asleep without being held and bottle fed will help with any later night wakes... as they will want that at every wake up.

Mine threw a fit when I tried the water thing in the middle of the night so just got milk instead as it was easier and concentrated on the first put down of the night. For teeth health as well it's best to get them brush after milk altho I can say we don't always manage that!! But they are brushed morning and night.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

She won’t go to sleep at 12pm. It’s 1pm at the moment even if she’s up at 6. So its been like this today:

1pm-2:15pm (nap)
Playtime tv etc
Tea at 5:15pm (a bit later as I found if I did it earlier she was starving by bedtime lol)
Bath straight after tea 6:15ish usually
Then dried, little bit of tv, cereal, teeth and soon as cereal is finished it’s into her room (no tv etc) to read a book, this is generally at 7:45pm and she used to take 15 mins to settle down but I’m going to put her into bed at 7:30pm instead to give her the extra 15 mins to settle down.

I’ll shift everything back by 15 mins anyway after nap time. She’s my first child so I literally am like wtf One hour nap I can cope with, however she doesn’t sleep well in the car. But then saying that we are usually out and about all morning doing something so it’s home for her our lunch and then naptime at 1 so I don’t really need her to nap in the car. Generally we are local whenever we do stuff!

Try doing dinner time at 5ish and then letting her play after. Then offer a snack BEFORE bath time. Let her eat a slice of toast or whatever. Then, do bath & teeth and straight to bed then. You want to make a clear distinction between awake time and sleep time - bath and into jammies should signal the end of play time/tv time/eating etc.

Also just keep in mind that kids go through stages and sometimes they just will not do what you want them to no matter what you try and you just have to roll with it! I had months of doing the whole bedtime routine where one wouldn’t sleep unless I was there and some nights I wasn’t getting out of the room until gone 9pm!!!!!

 

[watermelon sugar]

If it’s any consolation @al255 I’ve been trying to get my 2.3 year old to sleep since 7 and he’s still awake 🥲 these toddlers just like to test us

 

[DownBelow21]

Have you considered moving him to a floor bed? We moved my eldest son at 20 months to a floor bed, I would lie with him to go to sleep, and then when he woke in the night bring him back in with us. My 3yo is in a double so she sleeps alone until she wakes up then my husband sleeps in with her. All my older ones have then slept longer and longer stretches alone once In their bed.

Never actually thought of this! Thank you! Will show my hubby and might give it a go

Oh gosh. My son went in his own room from 6 months. Was fine in his big cot until 10 months and wouldn’t sleep alone. He’s still in my bed and he’s three next week . He is a bit clingy tho and likes to be with me. Sometimes in the night he reaches out to touch me to see if I’m still there. I’m planning on putting him in his own room next few months. I can’t bare to leave him to cry it out. He gets so upset and makes himself sick it’s just not worth it.

I know what you mean! Some of my friends/family said I should just let him cry it out etc but I don't have it in me to do that! Just doesn't sit right with me letting him cry himself to sleep!

 

[Megatron1298]

Found my way here from the pregnancy thread

I am 34 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old and although he has always been somewhat attached to me it’s gotten significantly worse in the last few months. He never wants to go to his dad if he’s upset and it’s gotten to the point that if he wakes in the night he absolutely freaks out if his dad goes to comfort him, to the point even when we bring him into our bed he can’t handle being next to his dad and so my husband gets relegated to the couch which is so not ok in my books.

It’s not like they don’t get along they play all the time and do trips to hardwares stores, parks and the library etc.
this is making me super nervous for having to deal with an upset toddler who only wants me and a newborn

Any tips or advice for how to overcome this stage? We held firm for dad doing bedtime tonight normally we take turns going into the bedroom to comfort, and it was an hour of screaming and I really don’t like how hard it is my husband to be rejected like that

 

[WhatABore]

Any advice on stopping a toddler from climbing into bed with us? He goes to bed absolutely fine and no fuss, but every single night without fail he will wake up and cry to get into mummy and daddy’s bed. Sometimes the fight to stop and settle isn’t worth it as we are so knackered so we just give in and let him get straight into our bed but it’s becoming tiresome now getting kicked in the head every night by a 2 y/o

You just have to be persistent in taking them back unfottunatley.
It'll take a week or so of tired nights, but he'll eventually get the hang of it.
Every time you give in, he knows crying ect will get what he wants so he'll continue to do it.

A gro clock could be a good idea?
Telling him once the clock turns yellow, then he can come and get into your bed

 

[Definitelyme]

Don’t want to make a whole new thread for it but what are some of the best presents you’ve bought your 2 year old? My middle one is 2 in a few weeks and I’m running out of ideas. We have quite a large (and very generous!) family so they all ask for bits and bobs to get him so I feel like I’ve given all my best ideas away!

He’s heavy into paw patrol so we’re getting him the movie vehicles, we’ve bought him a scooter too with a seat attachment. Was also thinking some plastic scleich (?) animals as he’s really into playing farms/zoos etc and some books.

I know I don’t need to go mad but we’ve just had a new baby so my mum guilt is off the charts

Definitely Scleich, we adore ours. Other things that we love at that (or any!) age
- magnetic tiles like playmags
- orchard games (simple colour match ones for that age)
- balance bike
- lots of books
- train tracks
- jigsaws
- play doh and kinetic sand

Or if you have room you could ask people to give you money towards a big outdoor toy eg climbing frame, playhouse

 

[BettyCrockerr]

first time poster on this thread. My daughter will be 3 in a couple of weeks and has been potty/toilet trained with wees for a good 5/6 months now. But she will not poo unless she has a nappy/pull-up on. I’ve tried encouraging, bribing etc and it just ends up in a huge meltdown. Has anyone else had this? I’ve read that I’m not supposed to force it and she’ll eventually just do it, but it’s worrying me me.

Get rid of the pull ups and nappies completely. Put her in pants, don’t say a word about it, leave her to it. When she needs a poo just take her to the loo and pull her pants down and put her on the loo. If she starts the nonsense then don’t react - pull the pants up and leave the bathroom. And carry on like that; she will eventually get there - but you need to put an end to the cycle by getting rid of the nappies & pull ups

 

[OIM]

I have blocked Steve and Maggie off my kids YouTube same with Ryan's words and loads of random channels where the parents film the kids being annoying or pretend crying. All he gets now really is blippi and some baby bus cartoon. Regretted ever installing YouTube but he mainly watches kids Netflix now.

How? How do you do this?! I need to block ryan!!!!

 

[Definitelyme]

She's fine with other letters mostly. But for some reason she's always struggled with 'banana'
It was one of her first sounds. With "Babababa" when she wanted one.
Then it changed to "Burbahbah"
And now she say "Burmama"

We have a whole load of things she just can’t get - my favourites are “mavilla” for vanilla and “mint chop chip”, and “mafingo” for flamingo!

 

[Definitelyme]

Yeah, I intend to keep it set to certain times anyway.

Curious about it needed WiFi though as she likes to watch Netflix in the car on long journeys

My husband has a kindle fire (not a kids’ one ) and he downloads what he wants on the Netflix app before we travel