Toddler advice thread

[OIM]

We did ours from around 2 and a half.
It only took a week of her getting used to it.
Shs'd get up and come into our room and we'd say, "Is the clock yellow?" and she cried the first couple of mornings as we took her back to bed and then she got the hang of it

She has always woken around 6.30 so we set it for 7 and sometimes she even sleeps past that now.
You hear the panic in her footsteps when she does though. When she realises the clocks already yellow and she's still in bed

Ha ha this is just like my daughter. I’ve never hear her move as fast as when that clock turns yellow!

 

[honey&lemon]

What time does she go to bed at night? Try keeping her awake during the day but bring bedtime forward by an hour. If she wakes in the night, can you take her in with you? Not ideal but it’s better than battling with her to get her back to sleep. If she wakes up, and your partner gets up for her, would she settle to sleep if he popped her in with you?

I agree about trying to drop the nap. Our toddler stopped them altogether at 2. Very young I know but she just wouldn’t sleep until 9/10pm even if she had a 30 min sleep. Agree about bringing the bedtime forward a bit until they adjust, even if it’s 5.30pm! She’ll soon adjust to it and be able to stretch out a bit longer. It does mean the time after work can be stressful as they’re very tired but you get your evening back

Check out boredoflunch on Instagram, he’s brilliant!

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

When did everyone start potty training their sons? FTM mum here and my LB is 19mo, just wondering when I should start?

Also, we're going through an awful stage of him trying to bite and nip/grab - any suggestions on how to stop it?

Eldest was 22 months and he really cracked it but was definitely ready
Middle we are about to start (dreading it) and he’s 2y 4m

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I think it depends which branch as some add it and some don’t! I sometimes have to add it myself

As per the brand guidelines they are supposed to dust the fries with salt as standard. If you request fries with no salt you have to wait for a fresh batch to cook and they take a portion out before salting

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Thats my next step, the doctors.

Thank You for your help

Have you tried just sort of ignoring it? So if he does a poo in his pants - just act completely not interested and tell him to go to the toilet and get rid of it/clean himself up/go get fresh clothes etc? It may now be a bit of an attention/control type thing. As you say, he knows what he should be doing, and he is deliberately messing in his clothes so I’d try having a go and just sort of ignoring it for a few days and see how he reacts? He may well change then and try to get praise/attention etc by doing the poo in the toilet?

 

[WhatABore]

Need some advice for a nearly 4 year old that is pushing me to my limits. I’m not even sure I need advice, just a vent

He’s never ever been a “warm” child. Enjoys the odd cuddle here and there, isn’t the first to go and make friends, prefers his own company mainly but his worst trait is being totally cold towards his brother (2 going on 5) who is the polar opposite and loves a cuddle, loves being loved, always looks up to his older brother for help and for affection/fun but my 4yo just shouts at him or tells him to go away, doesn’t want to cuddle him; doesn’t actually want him anywhere near him and if it is it’s usually on his terms. This isn’t a recent thing and he’s been like it since he was born tbh! His most recent thing in the past couple of weeks is getting right up in my toddlers face and speaking to him quite aggressively through gritted teeth. We have never EVER done this to him and don’t know anyone who has or anything he could have seen to teach him this but it’s HORRIBLE. It makes my toddler feel so scared, either that or he just hits him as if to say back off and then a full on fight/scrap breaks out and I sometimes physically have to separate them. I’m trying my best to remain calm and remove my 2yo from the situation until 4yo is calm as I don’t believe that shouting etc helps but today he really hurt my 2yo over a toy that wasn’t even his and I just lost it and sent him to his room (we were upstairs anyway so not too far away) because I just can’t condone his, quite frankly, shocking and shitty behaviour. I feel like I’ve failed him as a parent somehow because he can be so utterly vile but I don’t know where it’s come from aghhhhhh.

Also saying no all the time, jumping up and down and screaming the house down when he doesn’t get his own way (this could be up to 30 mins+), throwing things, he’s even taking to hitting me which is so unusual for him. He’s always saying he can’t do things without even trying for a second and he gets beyond worked up when I ask him to try. So stressful! Please tell me it’s just the age? ADHD/ASD runs in my partners side of the family quite predominantly so I am aware of signs something else could be happening but my god my limits are being tested. His vocabulary and communication skills are better than the 6yo’s I work with so I’m just so frustrated that he results to outbursts/violence about every little thing when he can just use his words !!!!

If you’ve made it to the end then thank you, send donuts.

I have no advice on much any of it but I will say my 4yo is the exact same with saying she can't do things (even things she's done multiple times before) and then getting majorly upset/stressed when I ask her to try.

Sorry you're going through it! It must be extremely stressful!

If he's suddenly started acting like it, I'd say maybe it's having a new sibling? And he's acting out in a different way?

 

[nurseren]

May I just ask for some advice about encouraging a child to be more flexible? My toddler has just started nursery. She’s just turned 2 and the main reason I’ve started her so early is that she really needs the stimulation. However, she will only drink out of one cup. She is very ‘fixed’ about how she wants things. I need her to be able to drink out of a sports cup really. Otherwise this usual cup will spill over her stuff because it doesn’t have a lid.

We have a lot of autism in our family and she seems to have hyperlexia (counting to 20 already and can recognise letters) so maybe she’s on the spectrum but equally her social skills seem fine and she asks why questions. I’m guessing that nursery will tell me if they think anything needs investigation.

Any ideas on encouraging her to try new things?

I’d always go “you can’t have X, but you can have Y or Z instead”. Admittedly it’s not with cups, but usually with food. Has she started nursery yet?

When you say a lot of autism in the family, how much? My husband is in the spectrum with his sensory processing and I’m currently under investigation for ADHD.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Is he learning a new skill? Sometimes when this is happening their brain wakes them up because it’s trying to tell them they need to keep practicing the skill. Other than that could he be hungry or thirsty?

hmm I don’t think he’s thirsty or hungry he doesn’t seem it! He’s really learning with his speech atm he’s doing something new everyday! He’s starting to put two words together maybe it’s that?

 

[Dollenganger]

In regards to potty training, I really don’t think there is one method for any one child. I have a 2.5 year old and I tried potty training her a couple of months ago. She was making great progress and going over to use it. Then, all of a sudden she started holding her wees in for hours on end and got very stressed about it all so I’ve put her back in nappies.

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

I absolutely hate Steve and Maggie.

What is it?
It's a hand.
Repeat after me.
It's a hand it's a hand it's a hand.
Goood.
It's a hand it's a hand it's a hand.

It enrages me. I can't even sit in the room

I have blocked Steve and Maggie off my kids YouTube same with Ryan's words and loads of random channels where the parents film the kids being annoying or pretend crying. All he gets now really is blippi and some baby bus cartoon. Regretted ever installing YouTube but he mainly watches kids Netflix now.

 

[Dollenganger]

I’d always go “you can’t have X, but you can have Y or Z instead”. Admittedly it’s not with cups, but usually with food. Has she started nursery yet?

When you say a lot of autism in the family, how much? My husband is in the spectrum with his sensory processing and I’m currently under investigation for ADHD.

I’m autistic and I also have two autistic girls and one who is NT. She started nursery on Friday. She did really well and managed for 2 hours before she got tearful. Of all my children she is the most clingy do I think this was a good start.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Joining this thread - mum of a 17mo.
Have coslept since around 7months old. He usually falls asleep on our bed then we move him over to his cot (still in our room as I just can't bare the thought of putting him in his own room yet!) He will sometimes sleep in there for a good run, sometimes between 5-6 hours but then cries to come back with us. Sometimes we can soothe him back to sleep in his cot, but ultimately he ends up back with us. But then on some nights, i Just leave him in with us!

As much as I love cosleeping with him, sometimes it's a nightmare as he can be such a wriggler and wakes us up by kicking us!

Is anyone else still cosleeping, or have done until this time? How did you/are you planning on moving over to stay in their own cots?

Oh gosh. My son went in his own room from 6 months. Was fine in his big cot until 10 months and wouldn’t sleep alone. He’s still in my bed and he’s three next week . He is a bit clingy tho and likes to be with me. Sometimes in the night he reaches out to touch me to see if I’m still there. I’m planning on putting him in his own room next few months. I can’t bare to leave him to cry it out. He gets so upset and makes himself sick it’s just not worth it.

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

are you a fellow scouser @JulesC

i find I’m using my air fryer more lately for quick tea’s it’s easier and quicker than the oven

I’d search slow cooker and air fryer on tiktok there’s thousands of recipes on there

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Are you sure the chips aren’t salted. They really taste like they are

I think it depends which branch as some add it and some don’t! I sometimes have to add it myself

 

[Pinkii]

Tbh, it sounds terrible, but my daughter picked up a lot from TV she went from talking jibberish to talking sentences within months

With potty training though, personally I'd wait until he's got the speech to be able to tell you he needs to go

this was us as well, my daughter had just started talking when we first went into lockdown. I know it gets looked down upon by some but she learnt majority of her speech from mr tumble she would use words and sentences she definitely wouldn’t have heard from me at home

there are alot of educational programs for kids to watch, not everything is peppa pig and bing (even though she likes them)

but mr tumble and blippi are great for teaching.

 

[mg89]

Hi everyone, I've got a 17 month old - been great reading all your experiences!

 

[Pinky27]

i find it easier not having someone to annoy me daily

Me too

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

That’s a great idea. I hadn’t thought of that as it is a private childcare facility but I will email them and ask. My other thought was to start her for an afternoon a week in September like a soft launch. But not sure how much that will help as it will be a big Xmas break and she’ll be going into a different room with different carers.

I don’t love the term shy but it gets the idea across. I like to say she is an observer and nobody’s fool as she always scowls at people when they try to get a laugh out of her
Thank you, you’ve really helped me feel better. There’s so much pressure to get kids to be independent. Her dad seems to think she’ll just rock up and love it and settle in on the first day

 

[honey&lemon]

You should go swimming with her. Don’t wait until summer. Make it fun, do not make any comparison to it being like a bath - don’t mention bath at all!!! Get her a fun swimming costume and some cool arm bands etc and some floats to take in and see how she gets on. I’d really recommend trying it, swimming is such a great thing for kids to do anyway and it may help with the bath thing

oohh I really want to but you know when you’re just scared of making a bad situation worse lol she has a costume so I’ll get some arm bands and start mentioning going swimming to get her excited. Good idea keeping it totally separate and not even comparing to a bath. She still loves water play and loves washing up etc. So maybe this will just be the missing piece she needs

Thanks for the advice x

 

[AdelesEarring]

hmm I don’t think he’s thirsty or hungry he doesn’t seem it! He’s really learning with his speech atm he’s doing something new everyday! He’s starting to put two words together maybe it’s that?

Yes, it definitely could be. My daughter kept doing this at the time when she was learning to stand. She’d wake up, pull herself up and then look confused about how she got there .