Toddler advice thread #5

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Thank you guys, I’m not so bothered about the cost as we’ve found out we likely can’t have another child so this is it for us and I’ve decided my midlife crisis shall be going overboard with all child life events from now on 😂

Just can’t tell if I’m overthinking it, we went to a superhero party recently and it was only Spider-Man and all the kids loved it, but I feel like boys would kick up more of a fuss about just a princess, or am I overthinking this?
If you can afford it then why not?! Probably not strictly necessary but by that logic neither is one princess entertainer, so if you can, go for it!! Sounds amazing!
 
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Hi, don't usually post on here but looking for some advice.

My just turned 2 year old has been going to nursery since she was 10 months old. Typically it took a few weeks to settle her.

Since then she has rarely cried at drop off- she's never exactly skipped into nursery happily but will always go to the staff member who comes out to get her fine, often with a smile. The occasional whinge or protest, but rarely. She always comes out at the end of the day very happy, and I've been to a few 'stay and play' sessions where I've seen firsthand that she is happy and settled there. So I have no concerns about the nursery.

However in the last few weeks she has really, really been crying when I drop her off. She's fine getting into the car and on the drive there, and she knows we're going to nursery yet as soon as I take her out of the car and we walk the few metres to the entrance she'll be whinging, asking me to carry her and then cries loads when I hand her over - like almost hysterically. Yet 5 mins later I'm told she's absolutely fine and happily eating breakfast (and I've seen photos of this)!

Nothing has changed in terms of home or nursery environment (well, I'm newly pregnant but nothing in terms of her life has changed... Yet!) so I just don't know what's going on.

Any ideas why this could be happening? Is it just a phase? She is generally quite a sensitive toddler and loves nothing better than being with her parents- I sometimes worry we are too cuddly with her and maybe this is a factor?
 
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Hi, don't usually post on here but looking for some advice.

My just turned 2 year old has been going to nursery since she was 10 months old. Typically it took a few weeks to settle her.

Since then she has rarely cried at drop off- she's never exactly skipped into nursery happily but will always go to the staff member who comes out to get her fine, often with a smile. The occasional whinge or protest, but rarely. She always comes out at the end of the day very happy, and I've been to a few 'stay and play' sessions where I've seen firsthand that she is happy and settled there. So I have no concerns about the nursery.

However in the last few weeks she has really, really been crying when I drop her off. She's fine getting into the car and on the drive there, and she knows we're going to nursery yet as soon as I take her out of the car and we walk the few metres to the entrance she'll be whinging, asking me to carry her and then cries loads when I hand her over - like almost hysterically. Yet 5 mins later I'm told she's absolutely fine and happily eating breakfast (and I've seen photos of this)!

Nothing has changed in terms of home or nursery environment (well, I'm newly pregnant but nothing in terms of her life has changed... Yet!) so I just don't know what's going on.

Any ideas why this could be happening? Is it just a phase? She is generally quite a sensitive toddler and loves nothing better than being with her parents- I sometimes worry we are too cuddly with her and maybe this is a factor?
Sounds like mine. He was a bit wobbly when he first started of course. Then he was fine for ages would run in. Then for a while he would cry at the drop off and I would ring 10 mins later and they say he’s fine. is it always you who drops her off. He was worse with me. He never cried half as much when his dad took him!
he is also a cuddler and loves being with us.
I can more or less say it doesnt last forever.
my friends did it in reception for ages. At one point the teachers had to peel her off her mum 🙃
 
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Sounds like mine. He was a bit wobbly when he first started of course. Then he was fine for ages would run in. Then for a while he would cry at the drop off and I would ring 10 mins later and they say he’s fine. is it always you who drops her off. He was worse with me. He never cried half as much when his dad took him!
he is also a cuddler and loves being with us.
I can more or less say it doesnt last forever.
my friends did it in reception for ages. At one point the teachers had to peel her off her mum 🙃
Thanks, that's reassuring. Just wondered if there was anything I could be doing to help get past this phase quickly!

I've been doing the drop offs for the last couple of weeks, but it's usually 50:50ish between my husband and I and he says she does the same when he drops her off 😕
 
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Thanks, that's reassuring. Just wondered if there was anything I could be doing to help get past this phase quickly!

I've been doing the drop offs for the last couple of weeks, but it's usually 50:50ish between my husband and I and he says she does the same when he drops her off 😕
His nursery teachers said to me you have to say they’re gonna have a good time. See their friends.. play etc. one of them said don’t say things like it’s ok you’re off tomorrow or don’t worry I’ll be back soon.
its a horrible feeling isn’t it. Have nursery said anything
 
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His nursery teachers said to me you have to say they’re gonna have a good time. See their friends.. play etc. one of them said don’t say things like it’s ok you’re off tomorrow or don’t worry I’ll be back soon.
its a horrible feeling isn’t it. Have nursery said anything
Oh cool I have sort of been saying those things/not saying the others without realising so it sounds like I'm on the right track! They haven't really said much, just that it's a phase that some kids go through and it's likely because she's now understanding the world around her more, etc.

I do worry a lot because although she's a very lively, happy and chatty child at home she's often the opposite in social situations- like even at the park if a kid comes near her while she's climbing up the slide, for example, she'll shout no or have a little whinge. I don't make a big deal of it and I'll try to never say 'she's shy' in front of her (I remember my mum always saying that when I was a painfully shy kid and it just made things worse) but yeah, I do worry that we've somehow made her very sensitive?
 
Thankyou. He isn’t keen on me touching around it when I’m changing it but he’s doing well. I’ve just changed it this morning it keeps coming unstuck during the night think cos his little hands are warm but it looks like it’s healing thank god. He has to go back on Wednesday for a check up
Aw that sounds like a great day for all of you! Did you get anything nice when shopping
Bless him! That’s good that it’s healing!!

Mainly clothes for the little one 🤣🤣 but I did actually pick up an outfit for myself as well.
 
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Thank you guys, I’m not so bothered about the cost as we’ve found out we likely can’t have another child so this is it for us and I’ve decided my midlife crisis shall be going overboard with all child life events from now on 😂

Just can’t tell if I’m overthinking it, we went to a superhero party recently and it was only Spider-Man and all the kids loved it, but I feel like boys would kick up more of a fuss about just a princess, or am I overthinking this?
Also I think it would be about 50/50 if my 3 year old would dress up as Spider-Man or a princess - he loves both! Sounds like an epic party you are planning what a great mum 🥰
 
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Also I think it would be about 50/50 if my 3 year old would dress up as Spider-Man or a princess - he loves both! Sounds like an epic party you are planning what a great mum 🥰
Honestly I’d be made up if Princess Spider-Man happened!
 
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This has been discussed loads already I think but my brain is actual mush. I’ve been taking my three year old to more stay and plays as they’re easy with the baby along. A few times a younger child, around 2/3, will come and take a toy off her. I don’t know what to do! I have said oh no she was having a turn on that, but they just look at me and carry on 🤣 I don’t feel comfortable taking it off them. I usually say to my daughter “oh you look frustrated, you were playing with that. Next time you can say I’m playing with this.” But it’s not really working and I feel a bit ineffective. So hard isn’t it!
 
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Hi, don't usually post on here but looking for some advice.

My just turned 2 year old has been going to nursery since she was 10 months old. Typically it took a few weeks to settle her.

Since then she has rarely cried at drop off- she's never exactly skipped into nursery happily but will always go to the staff member who comes out to get her fine, often with a smile. The occasional whinge or protest, but rarely. She always comes out at the end of the day very happy, and I've been to a few 'stay and play' sessions where I've seen firsthand that she is happy and settled there. So I have no concerns about the nursery.

However in the last few weeks she has really, really been crying when I drop her off. She's fine getting into the car and on the drive there, and she knows we're going to nursery yet as soon as I take her out of the car and we walk the few metres to the entrance she'll be whinging, asking me to carry her and then cries loads when I hand her over - like almost hysterically. Yet 5 mins later I'm told she's absolutely fine and happily eating breakfast (and I've seen photos of this)!

Nothing has changed in terms of home or nursery environment (well, I'm newly pregnant but nothing in terms of her life has changed... Yet!) so I just don't know what's going on.

Any ideas why this could be happening? Is it just a phase? She is generally quite a sensitive toddler and loves nothing better than being with her parents- I sometimes worry we are too cuddly with her and maybe this is a factor?
I could’ve written this word for word a month ago! I’m also pregnant and at the time I was quite ill so probably not able to give her as much attention. Some mornings we couldn’t even get her to leave the house. Nursery have been great and have said that most toddlers go through this phase when there is a change at home-although it mightn’t be obvious, if she is sensitive (like mine) then she will have picked up that something is different. Mine is back to her usual self now in terms of nursery but instead is super clingy at home and spends most of time sitting on my belly!
 
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This has been discussed loads already I think but my brain is actual mush. I’ve been taking my three year old to more stay and plays as they’re easy with the baby along. A few times a younger child, around 2/3, will come and take a toy off her. I don’t know what to do! I have said oh no she was having a turn on that, but they just look at me and carry on 🤣 I don’t feel comfortable taking it off them. I usually say to my daughter “oh you look frustrated, you were playing with that. Next time you can say I’m playing with this.” But it’s not really working and I feel a bit ineffective. So hard isn’t it!
It is so hard to deal with because it’s someone else’s kid causing the issue and we can’t do anything about their parenting. I usually stay close by and if a child looks like they are about to, I intervene before it happens. “toddler is using that, you can have it when she’s finished”. Now duck off you grabby little rit.
My kids are not confrontational and would always have let someone take from them. They usually would have been happy to move on to something else, not really too traumatised by it, but I always would have gone with something like “you were enjoying that, and it wasn’t nice of that child to take it from you. Let’s find something else we can play with, maybe the other toy will be free again soon”
 
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It is so hard to deal with because it’s someone else’s kid causing the issue and we can’t do anything about their parenting. I usually stay close by and if a child looks like they are about to, I intervene before it happens. “toddler is using that, you can have it when she’s finished”. Now duck off you grabby little rit.
My kids are not confrontational and would always have let someone take from them. They usually would have been happy to move on to something else, not really too traumatised by it, but I always would have gone with something like “you were enjoying that, and it wasn’t nice of that child to take it from you. Let’s find something else we can play with, maybe the other toy will be free again soon”
I always stay close as she is not confrontational at all so would always be pushed around at them. Although since she started preschool she went through a phase of hitting or shouting at other children so I had to stay close to stop that behaviour. She’s mostly grown out of that now but a boy was following her around the sand garden last week and she was shouting at him to leave her alone, then he touched her bum while going up the climbing frame and she fully told him off. His mum then came over and started talking to my daughter saying oh he wasn’t following you he was just playing. I actually did say “you don’t have to play with everyone if they’re making you feel uncomfortable and shouldn’t let anyone touch you.” It’s so hard because he was younger and didn’t really understand but she wanted to play alone. If she was playing in a group and not including him I wouldn’t have allowed that. We ended up leaving after which isn’t really fair on her.
 
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My little not really struggles holding scissors 🙈 are there any tips to help him with this?? I show him he starts off the same and then takes them out and tries a different way bless him and he gets a bit frustrated
 
My little not really struggles holding scissors 🙈 are there any tips to help him with this?? I show him he starts off the same and then takes them out and tries a different way bless him and he gets a bit frustrated
My kids have never really picked it up until they started school. They always end up with the scissors falling off their fingers and holding them really loose with their jaw going like crazy trying to cut 🤣
 
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My kids have never really picked it up until they started school. They always end up with the scissors falling off their fingers and holding them really loose with their jaw going like crazy trying to cut 🤣
School as in reception not pre school? That’s ok then!! I managed to get him to cut one line 😂. Its progress. He was holding them with both hands bless him 🥹
 
Can I ask how others would feel about this situation? I have a 3 yo and 9m old. My SIL (husbands sister) has been in an on/off relationship for about 2 years now - more off than on I’d say and last we were aware it was off, but now apparently back on.
Just to add, this is her first same sex relationship, and when they’ve had bust ups, SIL has confided in us all the dramas and how this person is an alcoholic, narcissistic, gets with other women behind her back then calls her up to tell her laughing about it, just being a downright nasty person. Obviously 2 sides to every story but this is what we’re hearing.
She’s been to our house with SIL a couple of times which I wasn’t really keen on tbf but was just trying to be reasonable, and every time she has been here she’s made a really over the top effort with my 3 year old, if you can imagine what I mean 🤣 to the point it’s cringey.
Now my issues is, my SIL is messaging me asking if they can take my son out for the day together? SIL hasn’t ever really taken him out on her own himself to be honest so not sure why the sudden interest. I can’t really explain why but I’m just not comfortable with it? But I feel like if I say no I’ll just be made out to be awkward? I’m always moaning I don’t have any help 😅 but this just doesn’t seem genuine to me.
I get the feeling cos they’ve just got back together they’re gonna use my son to try and have some weird family day out? Or am I just being childish I dunno?
 
My little not really struggles holding scissors 🙈 are there any tips to help him with this?? I show him he starts off the same and then takes them out and tries a different way bless him and he gets a bit frustrated
You can try these scissors? I think my daughters preschool had them and she learnt with these first then moved to classic style scissors

Not sure why it won’t let me link it but search for “self opening adaptive scissors for children”
IMG_1127.png
 
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My little not really struggles holding scissors 🙈 are there any tips to help him with this?? I show him he starts off the same and then takes them out and tries a different way bless him and he gets a bit frustrated
What age is he? We use the type is scissors below and it helps that they spring back. I never fuss if they have their fingers and thumb in the wrong section, and they almost always hold them upside down to begin with. Just lots and lots of practise will see it right. The scissors below we would use successfully from age 2 - depending on your definition of success that is! They cut with them, but like I said they take time to work out the kinks. Non sharp play dough scissors can be a good intro as well

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Can I ask how others would feel about this situation? I have a 3 yo and 9m old. My SIL (husbands sister) has been in an on/off relationship for about 2 years now - more off than on I’d say and last we were aware it was off, but now apparently back on.
Just to add, this is her first same sex relationship, and when they’ve had bust ups, SIL has confided in us all the dramas and how this person is an alcoholic, narcissistic, gets with other women behind her back then calls her up to tell her laughing about it, just being a downright nasty person. Obviously 2 sides to every story but this is what we’re hearing.
She’s been to our house with SIL a couple of times which I wasn’t really keen on tbf but was just trying to be reasonable, and every time she has been here she’s made a really over the top effort with my 3 year old, if you can imagine what I mean 🤣 to the point it’s cringey.
Now my issues is, my SIL is messaging me asking if they can take my son out for the day together? SIL hasn’t ever really taken him out on her own himself to be honest so not sure why the sudden interest. I can’t really explain why but I’m just not comfortable with it? But I feel like if I say no I’ll just be made out to be awkward? I’m always moaning I don’t have any help 😅 but this just doesn’t seem genuine to me.
I get the feeling cos they’ve just got back together they’re gonna use my son to try and have some weird family day out? Or am I just being childish I dunno?
It would be a no for me. Nothing to do with their relationship dynamics, simply because it hasn’t happened before and your son may not be comfortable all day.
 
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