Toddler advice thread #5

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Same here since the October half term. It’s constant. And now me & Mr B are ill and every single child is coughing

It really is parenting on hard mode ‍ how has it affected your older children being at school? Mine starts next year and if it’s another year of this she’s going to miss a lot!

 

[Megatron1298]

Hi everyone! I’ve never posted here before but have read all your posts and the advice you all give out is so helpful, I’m just looking for a bit of advice and was wondering if any of you lovely lady’s could help.

So I have a 3 year old son, he’s autistic and non verbal and really limited understanding. He is currently still in nappies and can not tell me when he has filled them so I am really trying to start toilet training. I’m just wondering if anyone knows the best way to go about this with a child like mine? I’ve ordered a little potty training pack with stickers and stuff in his favourite characters, I’ve got a potty and a seat and steps for the toilet and I’ve got him little underpants too. I just don’t know where to start when I know he might not be able to understand

Thank you for reading 🩷

Hello, I don’t have any direct experience but i recommend looking into a neurodiverse specific approach . My sister has a boy with Down’s syndrome and it is a slower process for sure. But like any child patience from the parent is probably one of the biggest tips. Sorry I can’t be more help

 

[al255]

I wouldn’t think there is anything wrong with her because she has a few meltdowns.
All kids have them. But I guess If you are concerned speak to nursery in a meeting? See what they say?
it’s clearly bothering you @al255

She had her parents evening yesterday and this is where alot of this has come from with my concerns.

Is it normal that she’s having meltdown after meltdown every day? Maybe I’m noticing it more cos they’re daily. Whereas before it wasn’t as frequent.

 

[Jellybean093]

A MONTH?!? WOW - that must have hurt a little.

She was 13 at the time. Like you said, you can make up your own mind as to why it’s was lovely without her

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So I’m thinking of sending mini A an extra day in October. She goes 3 days atm and I think in winter it’s just crap finding stuff to do that isn’t rinse and repeat! She would benefit from the 9-3 day there but I just can’t shake off my guilt about potentially sending her. I won’t be doing an extra day at work or anything like that cos there’s no point, I’d just pay whatever I earn in tax and NI! Just urghhhhhhh I know she will benefit and it’s ONLY 9-3 not like 7:30-5:30… it’s fine isn’t it?! (dramatic) it would only be term time and from October to June once the nice weather comes and we can be out all day.

Mine went from 2 afternoons to 3 days a week when he was 2-3 then when we got the 30 hours he went 5 days 🫠🫠

 

[Meg78]

Just found this thread & thought I'd look for opinions.
My three year old started her free hours at nursery three weeks ago, she's doing five afternoons. At the time we applied she seemed to be dropping her nap (depending when she got up) & I was pregnant with our second so thought afternoons would be easier to manage. However she started napping regularly again, doesn't seem to matter what time she gets up & often seems to have a "crash' of energy at points during the day. She's also had terrible hayfever this year. Everytime we pick her up from nursery they say "she was tired again today, was a bit emotional, there were a few tears", nothing positive. Her dad picked her up yesterday & he said he felt interrogated about her tiredness (she was up early & had a nap in the morning but still said she was tired)& they kept asking if we gave her piriton that morning, we told them we give her piriton if her hayfever was bad but that's usually before her bed when it's worse. Her dad dropped her off this afternoon & said she might need to sleep, she was up at 7 but was in good spirits most the morning & the teacher just gave a chuckle. A few hours later we get a phone call saying she was coughing, her nose was running & she said she wasn't feeling well. OH went & got her & she came bounding in, perky as anything. Her dad then told me that the teacher said "oh you seem better now. You must just be tired & finding it all a bit overwhelming." She had asked to go to the quiet room for a sleep but there wasn't anyone to sit with her." This has really upset & angered me a bit that she couldn't have a sleep, am I being dramatic? I understand she was coughing & had a runny nose but what toddler doesn't. She had a sleep when she got home had a few coughs but nothing major, then her nose started running but once that cleared she was fine, it was her allergies, I actually think it's something at nursery she is allergic to.
I'm dropping her off tomorrow & I don't know if I should say something, I don't do confrontation but I feel likes she's an inconvenience to them but she surely isn't the only one that gets tired especially since they have ones in all day. We're already picking her up earlier than we want cos she's finding it a struggle to last longer than three hours. She had never been to nursery before,she was looked after at home & even at her stay & plays she went to she would be shattered after. We say for every hour of play she needs half an hour lounge to recover.
I feel a bit silly but I'm going to phone the health visitor to see if they think her tiredness is unusual for her age, I keep winding myself up that there might be something medically wrong with her like low iron or something. I'm also thinking seeing about changing her to the morning sessions but I know they are usually busier (which i think might overwhelm her) & might not have space & to be honest I still think she will get tired & moany at points. She is such a wee character I hate to think the staff are just seeing this whingy, tired child. Sorry for the ramble, I've said on other threads I feel like tattle us an outlet for me & my thoughts

So typically the ratio for a room of 3 year olds is 1:8, and if they’re not over staffing then they wouldn’t be allowed to pull a staff member out to sit with her for a nap. Our 3 year old was forced to drop the nap by the nursery because it was inconvenient to them, which still infuriates me, but I do understand they have to safeguard the other children.

Truthfully the tiredness doesn’t sound normal, mine was fatigued after short play sessions and it turned out to be a medical thing, once it was discovered and managed the energy is now off the charts! Unfortunately the only way to check for deficiencies is a blood test, they use a numbing cream or cold spray but it’s still quite distressing to experience, so it’s probably more palatable to confront the nursery about accommodations first

 

[al255]

I agree it’s so easy to get wrapped up in it all. I took my 1 year old to see Santa, didn’t pay a fortune and every year we just go to the local market rotary club Santa and it’s only £5 with a toy! I was going to book Lapland UK this year but I think she’s just a bit young still and the price of it, I’m gunna wait till next year in December and she will nearly be 5!

 

[WhatABore]

What age did you all get rid of a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs? My stairs come straight into the lounge and we have a gate to stop our son getting up the stairs. Not sure if and when to remove it? Ours stairs are quite steep so that worries me.

We removed ours a few months ago. Or well, stopped blocking the stairs anyway. And she turned 2 in April.
She doesn't even try

 

[underwhelmed1985]

I did think of tickets but then I’d end up taking his sister too so she lucks out, she’s easy to buy for!

Outdoor toys are a no, are garden is tiny. I did get him a den building kit on his birthday. He’s got Lego, but playmobil might be a good shout. I wish I’d had the foresight to put his sisters toys up and then wrap them as new

 

[watermelon sugar]

it’s 26.8 on my toddlers gro egg tonight in his room

 

[ElektraWintour]

Does anyone use universal credit to pay nursery? How does it work?

I did a benefits calculator the other day that seems to think we’d be entitled to some UC but we currently use tax free childcare and my understanding is we’d have to stop using that and use the UC to pay nursery instead. It’s putting me off a bit because I know what I’m doing with the tax free childcare but obviously the extra UC would be very useful.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

They sit him on the potty for 5-10 minutes at a time and let him watch videos on a ipad/tablet but still no success. He doesn't drink much there to be honest but did surprisingly drink 2 bottles of water on Monday and halfway home told me he needed a wee, had to run into the local pub with him. Not quite prepared to do a nature wee with him yet

Mine drank his full bottle. Which isn’t a lot for all day to be fair but he usually has a wee after having half of it!! it’s frustrating like you say. I kept asking him do you need a wee and he kept saying no and then he did a nice yellow wee eventually
They said they took him to the potty a few times and he didn’t do anything either

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

That’s brilliant! Some kids just really take it on themselves, which is so much easier. What a great experience for you both! Defo move to pants, sounds like she’s done amazingly.
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amazing!

Thanks I am nervous to put underwear on him as he really doesn’t like it for some reason
Any tips for that??

 

[LilyRose1234]

This might be a niche situation but wondering if anyone else really struggled with owning a dog after their toddler hit the 2 year mark? My little one is 2 next month and we have an 18 month old Vizlsa and the two of them together are incredibly hard work. Getting out the door for a walk takes about 20 minutes, toddler loses his mind being in the pram for 2 long so road walks are difficult, especially as still trying to train the dog to walk nicely. Off lead walks are out the window unless he’s in childcare as he has to pick up every rock and stick and moves so slowly, and then the dog gets bored and runs off, becomes very stressful. Throw in another pregnancy, I’m really starting to worry about how I will cope with 2 children and a high energy dog. Not sure if it’s hormones making me feel like this but starting to really struggle! Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they managed. We already have help with a dog walker but the cost of that really does add up, and I take on most of it as husband works long long hours.

Yep!!! Literally exact the same here, we have a toddler, 2 spaniels and I’m pregnant. Road walks are stressful with the pram/walking toddler, plus the dogs don’t actually get a lot out of them, so I take them to a huge field with a tennis racket and tennis balls, lob the balls for the dogs, or let them go sniff (to be fair their recall is good and the field is quiet so no danger of them running off), then the toddler can potter around at her own pace. Alternatively if she’s napping in the car I reverse the car to the back of the field, sit in the boot and lob the balls from there. Some days we don’t get out so me/OH road walk them so they’ve had something and on the weekend we try and get them out for a proper walk and sniff without the toddler too. It’s actually really tough haha, they’re much harder work than the toddler for sure! Hoping once she has a bike or something it’ll get a little easier

 

[ImDavidBrent]

Does anyone have any suggestions for fussy eating?
My LO is 23 months now, we did all the “by the book” weaning and she’s never been into food (unless its chocolate based). She would quite happily still be fully on milk if we let her. Since starting nursery, her eating has got waaay better. I think seeing her peers eating her helped her. But at home and especially at her grandparents she refuses most food offered. She will throw it on the floor and laugh.
we’ve had to become really calm in reacting to her refusal of food- not make a big issue of it, tell ourselves she might just not be hungry right now, tell ourselves to look at her eating intake over a week rather than over a day etc.

I’m just wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences?

 

[Definitelyme]

@ElektraWintour Can I ask what the method is in Oh Crap!? I've previously used the Gentle Parent Guide to Potty Training that recommends at least three days at home with no nappies. Is Oh Crap! much different to that.

Just being cheap and don't want to buy another parenting book However will get a copy if the method is very different.
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He's three next month. I had planned to start next weekend but Mr B is away all day Sunday. My eldest has a birthday party to go to so I would need to take my youngest out. And I don't think I'm brave enough to take him out nappy less on day two

I do feel like he was showing signs of being ready a month or two but life was too busy. Then it feels like I'll always have an excuse. We have family staying next weekend. Then something else will come up the following week, if that makes sense? So I think I just need to take a good run at it, regardless of what our plans are.

Fortunately my workdays are Wednesday-Friday so I can start on a Saturday and hopefully make some headway. But perhaps not this weekend

Thanks for reading and offering advice x

I know you didn’t ask me, but I’ve read Oh Crap as well. Basically it says that you teach them in blocks which take as long as they take, no prescribed time. So first block is naked from the waist down, and once they have cracked that, then you start with their bottoms on. But I just use it as a guide, and make it my own. So what it says in almost all those books works great to stay at home if you’ve no other kids. I’ve 4, so can’t stay at home for days on end as we have school runs etc. so you just work it to fit yourself.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Yaaaaay first day back at nursery in a week and she's already been sent home

Also defo think we all had COVID

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My kids have never really picked it up until they started school. They always end up with the scissors falling off their fingers and holding them really loose with their jaw going like crazy trying to cut

School as in reception not pre school? That’s ok then!! I managed to get him to cut one line . Its progress. He was holding them with both hands bless him 🥹

 

[al255]

Sorry don’t know where else to post this looking for advice
Is this definitely chicken pox? I’m just confused because they have spread, 3 days ago they started of as a little cluster and then the day after they slowly appears more throughout the day to how they are now. But since then, no more have come out and they are only behind her legs, under her armpits and a couple on her elbows. I also think she has a couple in her mouth cos she’s off her food and has a sore throat. Just confused because they never blistered and seem to be scabbing already, and i thought they would spread more to her tummy, back, face? Or do some children just get it worse than others? And would you say these spots are starting to blister already?

I don’t think it’s chicken pox.. my daughters looked like this.. she had loads round her private parts and on her bum cheeks too they spread like wildfire, you’d know if it was chickenpox x
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[strawberrysunshine_x]

Same lol I dread walking down the ice cream aisle in the Aldi cos he’s always like ‘Muuuummmyyyy I want ice cream’

I think I have every ice lolly they do , in my freezer. He’s jumped on the cone ice creams now