I’m with you on this one, I absolutely hated the newborn days, the sleepless nights, they’re so so so so demanding and as much as I hate the days when it’s stressful and she’s like this, I love that she can talk, walk, feed herself, get herself dressed!Great post but I would absolutely rather have this (plus her being sweet and being able to do more with her etc etc) than the newborn days but everyone is different
I mean, I should clarify that I’m currently pregnant so very much going back to those days but for me at least I know it gets better (even with the tantrums)I’m with you on this one, I absolutely hated the newborn days, the sleepless nights, they’re so so so so demanding and as much as I hate the days when it’s stressful and she’s like this, I love that she can talk, walk, feed herself, get herself dressed!
Haha I absolutely love this age, she’s hilarious and funny and sweet, but everyone told me it got easier after the newborn phase and for me it’s still hard, just a different hard, where I was expecting it to get drastically easier (so I think it’s just my unrealistic expectations haha). Although at least with a newborn, I didn’t have to repeatedly say “no darling, we don’t drink out of the dogs water bowl”Great post but I would absolutely rather have this (plus her being sweet and being able to do more with her etc etc) than the newborn days but everyone is different
TBH I don’t think it gets easier, it’s just that it’s hard in a different way.Haha I absolutely love this age, she’s hilarious and funny and sweet, but everyone told me it got easier after the newborn phase and for me it’s still hard, just a different hard, where I was expecting it to get drastically easier (so I think it’s just my unrealistic expectations haha). Although at least with a newborn, I didn’t have to repeatedly say “no darling, we don’t drink out of the dogs water bowl”
Oh my god it’s not just mine that does this?ETA he moans for an ice cream/lolly. He eats a bit and then moans it’s cold and it goes in the bin. They are just sometimes little arseholes
Oh no. Not just yours. He moans if I eat it?? I’m not letting it go to waste, kidOh my god it’s not just mine that does this?Although mine also likes to let it melt and then gets sad it’s melted.
I have both. Yay me.Great post but I would absolutely rather have this (plus her being sweet and being able to do more with her etc etc) than the newborn days but everyone is different
BIB - I'm saying this with kindness but to a toddler *that* is a massive deal. As a PP said, they have so little control over their lives so they try and control what they can. A good tactic, that works for me, is giving an illusion of choice. Next time take two ice lollies out the freezer and let her "decide" which one she's going to have.Thanks for your post! Maybe I don’t get my child’s feelings as well as I should, I’m a first time mum and I’ve 0 experience with kids at all.
I want her to know picking the ice cream isn’t “a big deal” and she got another one out the freezer, if that makes sense.. it wasn’t worth crying over and having a meltdown though? She can tell me she wants a different one but she just got overly upset rather than telling me she wants a different one (which she can do..). I think reading a few books will help for sure!
See this was what I needed to hear with a newborn to help me frame my expectations! Not Sharon from the office who had her kids approximately 79 years ago telling me it absolutely definitely is so much easier once they’re toddlers, gave me false hopeTBH I don’t think it gets easier, it’s just that it’s hard in a different way.
We are using my dad’s car atm as mine is at the garage, and I’ve done a lot of “oh… if you get dressed then we get to go in grandads car!”See this was what I needed to hear with a newborn to help me frame my expectations! Not Sharon from the office who had her kids approximately 79 years ago telling me it absolutely definitely is so much easier once they’re toddlers, gave me false hope
I did read some good advice (soz if it was on here and I’ve stolen it) that if it’s a big deal to them and a small deal to you to let them go for it. E.g For us that’s leaving the house in wellies, even in this weather. Tbh it’s not a huge deal for me but she loves her wellies more than life so I let her do it. I’ll take trainers or sandals with us and 9 times out of10 by the time we get to nursery or wherever she’ll happily swap them out anyway(then I leave the wellies for bribery in the car, so she’ll get in her seat nicely because she knows she’ll get her wellies, kids eh)
Ooft! Good luck! You may have good advice, but trust me, they don’t want to listenI’m dreaddddddding the teenage years. However, I can understand and reason with a teenager that’s absolutely livid cos a boy has dumped her over text, or why she’s in a bad mood due to being on her period. Been there done that x I’ve got tons of good advice. I’m absolutely shocking when it comes to 3.5 year old meltdowns though
I got 3 different ones out the freezer (the only ones she could pick from) and she picked the one she wanted, I just don’t understand why she didn’t just go and get another one like she usually doesBIB - I'm saying this with kindness but to a toddler *that* is a massive deal. As a PP said, they have so little control over their lives so they try and control what they can. A good tactic, that works for me, is giving an illusion of choice. Next time take two ice lollies out the freezer and let her "decide" which one she's going to have.
I've also done this with my toddler and shoes if he's refusing to go out in the mornings. Give him the choice of putting on his black or red trainers and all of a sudden he's skipping out the door.
It's hard parenting children especially as you're not used to them. I had to get a student midwife in the hospital to show me how to change Big Biscuit's nappyI'd recommend Sarah Ockwell-Smith's Gentle Parenting resources. She has a lot of books but puts some content on her website for free. Her explanations really helped me understand my then toddler and got my head round some of the stuff going on. Not saying I agree with everything she says but it was a real moment for me.
I always show mine two difference ice lollies. Or I even let him open the drawer himself and get one out. He really likes doing thatBIB - I'm saying this with kindness but to a toddler *that* is a massive deal. As a PP said, they have so little control over their lives so they try and control what they can. A good tactic, that works for me, is giving an illusion of choice. Next time take two ice lollies out the freezer and let her "decide" which one she's going to have.
I've also done this with my toddler and shoes if he's refusing to go out in the mornings. Give him the choice of putting on his black or red trainers and all of a sudden he's skipping out the door.
It's hard parenting children especially as you're not used to them. I had to get a student midwife in the hospital to show me how to change Big Biscuit's nappyI'd recommend Sarah Ockwell-Smith's Gentle Parenting resources. She has a lot of books but puts some content on her website for free. Her explanations really helped me understand my then toddler and got my head round some of the stuff going on. Not saying I agree with everything she says but it was a real moment for me.
You’ve had loads of good advice and I’m a bit late to it as I had an awful day yesterday. I just wanted to say that when she is that upset, her brain can’t think it can’t understand anything you’re saying and you just have to ride it out. Please don’t tell her you’re going to leave when she is having a meltdown. She will learn that she isn’t safe to have those feelings or that they’re wrong and shut them down. When she grows up she won’t trust how she feels and that can lead to dangerous situations for her.I got 3 different ones out the freezer (the only ones she could pick from) and she picked the one she wanted, I just don’t understand why she didn’t just go and get another one like she usually doesit’s an ice lolly, I don’t give a shit if she decides half way through she wants another one, the one she didn’t want half way through went back in the freezer for tomorrow I like gentle parenting and I follow a girl on tik tok who does it well and I can see why it worka!
thank you for the end part - this is going to help me a lot!You’ve had loads of good advice and I’m a bit late to it as I had an awful day yesterday. I just wanted to say that when she is that upset, her brain can’t think it can’t understand anything you’re saying and you just have to ride it out. Please don’t tell her you’re going to leave when she is having a meltdown. She will learn that she isn’t safe to have those feelings or that they’re wrong and shut them down. When she grows up she won’t trust how she feels and that can lead to dangerous situations for her.
I totally get the overwhelm of constant meltdowns. I’m usually really good but after the baby I’m way more reactive than I want to be. If I’m really struggling I’ll say I need a minute to take some breaths before I can help you. Sometimes I have to leave the room, but I never say it’s because of her. Just that I need to find my calm before I can help with hers.
Sometimes I lose it but I always apologise to her, tell her I’m sorry that I must have scared her and I was not responding how I wanted and I’ll keep working at it so I can help her. Look up rupture and repair for those hard moments.
Has something happened at home? This isn’t really the kind of language I was expect from a nursery tbh.So when I dropped her off at nursery this morning, nursery said yesterday that she was spinning round and just brushed by another child, the child didn’t say or do anything and A had a meltdown and was so tearful and over emotional and they said even the other (younger) child was looking at her like what’s happened, why are you so upset kinda thing. This is the type of “outburst” I’m on about, that it doesn’t make sense why it’s over the top and different to other kids etc.. that example there makes me wonder if there’s something wrongI don’t think the outburst is normal from spinning round and not hurting another child etc and she knows she hasn’t hurt them cos the child she can see is fine ?! I just 🫠
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Not gonna I don’t like the way the nursery have worded this saying she’s over emotional and stating another child was looking at her like what are you doingSo when I dropped her off at nursery this morning, nursery said yesterday that she was spinning round and just brushed by another child, the child didn’t say or do anything and A had a meltdown and was so tearful and over emotional and they said even the other (younger) child was looking at her like what’s happened, why are you so upset kinda thing. This is the type of “outburst” I’m on about, that it doesn’t make sense why it’s over the top and different to other kids etc.. that example there makes me wonder if there’s something wrongI don’t think the outburst is normal from spinning round and not hurting another child etc and she knows she hasn’t hurt them cos the child she can see is fine ?! I just 🫠
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thank you for the end part - this is going to help me a lot!
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