Toddler advice thread #5

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Oh no judgement if that's people's jam. I did question why I was doing it but wasn't brave enough to say nah it wasn't for me.

I would have taken my then 6 week old to see Santa with his older brother if we hadn't been in lockdown.
Haha no I mean whyyy?! It was just the shopping centre Santa and admittedly it was to get me out of the house.
 
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I agree it’s so easy to get wrapped up in it all. I took my 1 year old to see Santa, didn’t pay a fortune and every year we just go to the local market rotary club Santa and it’s only £5 with a toy! I was going to book Lapland UK this year but I think she’s just a bit young still and the price of it, I’m gunna wait till next year in December and she will nearly be 5!
 
Haha no I mean whyyy?! It was just the shopping centre Santa and admittedly it was to get me out of the house.
When my eldest was that age, a trip to Morrisons was the highlight of my week. The wee dobber only napped in the car so I'd get my cheeky bar of chocolate and copy of Heat as my treat.

All bets are off when the kids are tiny. Honestly some of the weirdest tit in my life happened at that time 😂
 
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As someone who lived through the first lockdown with a then 7, 4 and 18mo, I can tell you kids don’t need to be out all the time doing stuff. Before lockdown I made sure we were out every weekend, I used to feel really bad if we stayed home. But it totally shifted my mindset when I saw how content the kids were staying at home (for months on end…👀) and that was both the first one with great weather and the second big school closure when it was mid winter.
It definitely made me realise that the kids enjoy spending time in their space as much as being out.
 
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As someone who lived through the first lockdown with a then 7, 4 and 18mo, I can tell you kids don’t need to be out all the time doing stuff. Before lockdown I made sure we were out every weekend, I used to feel really bad if we stayed home. But it totally shifted my mindset when I saw how content the kids were staying at home (for months on end…👀) and that was both the first one with great weather and the second big school closure when it was mid winter.
It definitely made me realise that the kids enjoy spending time in their space as much as being out.
I’m with you. I pay enough to live here, so enjoy it 😂
**and stay out the snack cupboard!
 
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I take my daughter to swimming lessons Saturday lunchtime and I like chilling out in the morning and then chill time in the afternoon after lesson too. Some of my friends from that class take their kid to a sports class in the morning, then swimming and then go soft play or park or somewhere like that after swimming and that just sounds tiring to me. Admittedly I know all kids are different and I know one of them is constantly on the go so they have to take her everywhere to tire her out 😅 I’m glad mines more laid back haha.
 
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My friend is literally at soft play or somewhere three times a week with her 1 year old I don’t know how she does it
 
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In summer we love being in the garden 😆
My weekend, and the kids have loved it!
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My friend is literally at soft play or somewhere three times a week with her 1 year old I don’t know how she does it
I used to go soft play when my eldest was younger because I nannied and took them out everyday. The poor following kids I’ve gone to have on barely see a park or soft play, because it’s too much hassle taking loads of kids out. They like being at home though, thankfully!
 
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My daughter is at preschool 3 mornings a week and with my parents for two so shes up and out early every weekday. We’ve stopped making plans on Saturdays and generally have a chill day then do a bit more on Sunday but still have a later start than in the week. They are people too, shattered after a long week just like us 🤣
 
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My friend is literally at soft play or somewhere three times a week with her 1 year old I don’t know how she does it
Sometimes I wonder if people like this have got themselves in to a situation where they almost don’t know what to do with their child at home? As if they are so used to being out that the idea of staying in fills them with dread and they dunno how to pass the time?
I know one of my own friends (who is a super active human, she’s always on the go even on her own) has always had her kids busy busy busy, and admitted once years ago she didn’t know how to fill the time with them in the house.
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My daughter is at preschool 3 mornings a week and with my parents for two so shes up and out early every weekday. We’ve stopped making plans on Saturdays and generally have a chill day then do a bit more on Sunday but still have a later start than in the week. They are people too, shattered after a long week just like us 🤣
Funny a few years ago when I was a full time SAHM I remember getting cross at my husband for not wanting to make plans every Saturday. He then said “yeah but I’m at work every day, the [older] kids are at school every day, we like some quiet time at home at the weekends” and I’d never thought of it like that before, because I was home much of the time.
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My weekend, and the kids have loved it!
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I used to go soft play when my eldest was younger because I nannied and took them out everyday. The poor following kids I’ve gone to have on barely see a park or soft play, because it’s too much hassle taking loads of kids out. They like being at home though, thankfully!
I think a lot are the same with the eldest! With mine we did somteething every day, even if it was only seeing family/friends, she was out at classes etc all the time. With no2 that was harder as I had a toddler as well, then no3 was Covid era toddler, and no4 is just dragged about on all the school runs 🙈
 
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Sometimes I wonder if people like this have got themselves in to a situation where they almost don’t know what to do with their child at home? As if they are so used to being out that the idea of staying in fills them with dread and they dunno how to pass the time?
I know one of my own friends (who is a super active human, she’s always on the go even on her own) has always had her kids busy busy busy, and admitted once years ago she didn’t know how to fill the time with them in the house.
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Funny a few years ago when I was a full time SAHM I remember getting cross at my husband for not wanting to make plans every Saturday. He then said “yeah but I’m at work every day, the [older] kids are at school every day, we like some quiet time at home at the weekends” and I’d never thought of it like that before, because I was home much of the time.
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I think a lot are the same with the eldest! With mine we did somteething every day, even if it was only seeing family/friends, she was out at classes etc all the time. With no2 that was harder as I had a toddler as well, then no3 was Covid era toddler, and no4 is just dragged about on all the school runs 🙈
Well this might be a reason … she has said that she doesn’t like her house being a mess so I think this is one of the reasons!!! Her bf doesn’t like toys in their living room their child is only allowed to play in their play room!!!! It’s so bad if you ask me. So I think that’s why she is always the out and about
 
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Need some advice. I’m SICK of bedtime/ Daytime dramas. Every night it’s a drama over something so so small. Bath was fine, getting into bed was fine, I told her I was putting her hair in a bobble and I must have snagged one of the hairs and she went into a complete meltdown, nursery have commented several times how she has an emotional meltdown over small stuff and I’m getting so so sick of it at home.

She cried earlier cos she picked the wrong ice cream and was screaming MUMMY whilst I was having a wee. I just don’t know what to do. I tell her not to get upset over small stuff but it’s getting to the point where I’m just at a loss. I can’t cope with bedtime anymore it’s just horrible. I’m sick of it. Nursery don’t get why she is so over emotional meltdown over everything, even if you say “don’t do this cos you’ll hurt yourself”.. she goes into meltdown
 
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Need some advice. I’m SICK of bedtime. Every night it’s a drama over something so so small. Bath was fine, getting into bed was fine, I told her I was putting her hair in a bobble and I must have snagged one of the hairs and she went into a complete meltdown, nursery have commented several times how she has an emotional meltdown over small stuff and I’m getting so so sick of it at home. She cried earlier cos she picked the wrong ice cream and was screaming MUMMY whilst I was having a wee. I just don’t know what to do. I tell her not to get upset over small stuff but it’s getting to the point where I’m just at a loss. I can’t cope with bedtime anymore it’s just horrible.
Honestly, most 3 year olds go through this phase. You have to find a way to ride it out without her picking up that it's causing you stress, as it will cause her to do it more.

There are alot of books surrounding big feelings and how to deal with them, you could try and grab a couple and read them together, it may help her understand. They're also useful to parents too as it can help us understand what they are seeing/feeling and how it affects them.
 
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Honestly, most 3 year olds go through this phase. You have to find a way to ride it out without her picking up that it's causing you stress, as it will cause her to do it more.

There are alot of books surrounding big feelings and how to deal with them, you could try and grab a couple and read them together, it may help her understand. They're also useful to parents too as it can help us understand what they are seeing/feeling and how it affects them.
I just don’t get the meltdowns, she’s just over the top so so so much over nothing. I honestly think something is wrong with her sometimes.

I told her about 5 times “roll over towards me and we can read the book” and she kept screeching and crying - all over me snagging one of her hairs. I told her I was going to leave the room as I wasn’t staying in the same room as her whilst she’s screaming and she can let me know when she’s ready to talk. She just went even more crazy.

I just 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 I’m at a loss. Nursery comment on it too and it’s such small things she’s crying over and having a full blown meltdown. Stuff she’s getting upset over isn’t worth being that emotional.

I got her to pick from the ice lollies and she was crying over picking the wrong one, it’s not a big deal at all and told her there’s no need to get upset over it. I’m thinking of ringing the HV tomorrow cos it’s just getting worse. It’s like she closes her ears off and can’t listen to what I’m saying to even make it better/ give her the outcome she hopes for!
 
ETA, its also totally okay to get upset over the small stuff. Even as adults we can have days where we are emotionally disregulated and cry over something so small and simple. It's completely the same for little people too.
Its been so hot and muggy it's exhausting littles are bound to be overwhelmed and on a short fuse too.

As adults we often expect our children to understand feelings, and they don't. Even as adults we struggle to understand feelings and keep them in check.
 
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Need some advice. I’m SICK of bedtime/ Daytime dramas. Every night it’s a drama over something so so small. Bath was fine, getting into bed was fine, I told her I was putting her hair in a bobble and I must have snagged one of the hairs and she went into a complete meltdown, nursery have commented several times how she has an emotional meltdown over small stuff and I’m getting so so sick of it at home.

She cried earlier cos she picked the wrong ice cream and was screaming MUMMY whilst I was having a wee. I just don’t know what to do. I tell her not to get upset over small stuff but it’s getting to the point where I’m just at a loss. I can’t cope with bedtime anymore it’s just horrible. I’m sick of it. Nursery don’t get why she is so over emotional meltdown over everything, even if you say “don’t do this cos you’ll hurt yourself”.. she goes into meltdown
Ok here is the thing, I’m going to put lay it out straight. You are not understanding 3yos at all. You say she’s getting upset over small things like the wrong ice cream.
To a 3yo that is a HUGE thing. Not small at all, it’s literally a MASSIVE deal for them. It doesn’t matter if you think it is a big deal or not - she thinks it is and you should be respectful of that instead of diminishing her feelings and telling her not to get upset. Imagine if someone said that to YOU about something you were upset over. Would it actually stop you being upset? It wouldn’t for me, it would make me bleeping raging tbh.
Anyone who has ever had a 3yo will tell you this is EXACTLY what they are like. They attempt to exert control over the small areas of their life where they can, and when they are unable to do so they get understandably cross about it. They can’t SPEAK their feelings, so they SHOW their feelings through their behaviour.
It is unendingly frustrating as a parent to have a child behave that way. I know, I’ve 4 kids, and it makes me wanna throttle the little sods.
But you are not helping matters by being so dismissive of her feelings.
Instead of “it’s not a big deal” try “you’re really upset because you wanted the other ice cream. It’s really frustrating when we don’t get what we want, I feel that way too. Next time we will make sure we get the right one.”
You’ll be surprised how much difference it will make.
 
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I just don’t get the meltdowns, she’s just over the top so so so much over nothing. I honestly think something is wrong with her sometimes.

I told her about 5 times “roll over towards me and we can read the book” and she kept screeching and crying - all over me snagging one of her hairs. I told her I was going to leave the room as I wasn’t staying in the same room as her whilst she’s screaming and she can let me know when she’s ready to talk. She just went even more crazy.

I just 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 I’m at a loss. Nursery comment on it too and it’s such small things she’s crying over and having a full blown meltdown. Stuff she’s getting upset over isn’t worth being that emotional.

I got her to pick from the ice lollies and she was crying over picking the wrong one, it’s not a big deal at all and told her there’s no need to get upset over it. I’m thinking of ringing the HV tomorrow cos it’s just getting worse. It’s like she closes her ears off and can’t listen to what I’m saying to even make it better/ give her the outcome she hopes for!
Nothing like expecting a 3 year old to have an adult grasp of emotion. 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
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I just don’t get the meltdowns, she’s just over the top so so so much over nothing. I honestly think something is wrong with her sometimes.

I told her about 5 times “roll over towards me and we can read the book” and she kept screeching and crying - all over me snagging one of her hairs. I told her I was going to leave the room as I wasn’t staying in the same room as her whilst she’s screaming and she can let me know when she’s ready to talk. She just went even more crazy.

I just 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 I’m at a loss. Nursery comment on it too and it’s such small things she’s crying over and having a full blown meltdown. Stuff she’s getting upset over isn’t worth being that emotional.

I got her to pick from the ice lollies and she was crying over picking the wrong one, it’s not a big deal at all and told her there’s no need to get upset over it. I’m thinking of ringing the HV tomorrow cos it’s just getting worse. It’s like she closes her ears off and can’t listen to what I’m saying to even make it better/ give her the outcome she hopes for!
I'll be honest, there isn't much your HV will be able to do. The most you could do is ask the nursery for better support if they are experiencing it too. But it sounds like typical 3yo behaviour to me. You're searching for answers you truly will never find.

It's just a phase, my 10yo went through it and still has moments where the simplest of things set him off.
 
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