Toddler advice thread #4

[pinksunsetx91]

My 4yo is a grazer, she eats a little bit, goes off for a while, comes back and eats a bit more and repeat until she’s satisfied. I just let her do it, I don’t want to create a problem when really it isn’t. Ideally I’d love for her to sit and the table and eat a full meal in one sitting, but for now I’m happy that she even just grazes long enough to actually eat the majority of what she’s been offered

My 3 year old is also a grazer, eats little and often and if I put too much on his plate he just refuses to eat. Dinner time can be difficult some days anyway and he’s really fussy and tends to only eat the same rotation of foods
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Hello. I have a friend who got a little girl who was a prem and is comng up to 3 years old. Her daughter weights 2 stone 4 lbs as of yesterday (she weight her every Saturday) friend is freaking out as thinking daughter is overweight everyone saying g oh she a heavy one isn't she. I bet your over feeding her (she isn't trust me the kid eats all fruit veg as good size meals as junk food on weekends) if people don't stop it's going to set her bulimia off. Her daughter is a solid child. As being from when started soilds. Plus the kid is strong she pulled her mum over who is strong herself and was a solid baby herself. I told her the kid is fine. Don't worry she a.toddler all under 4 year olds have extra weight on them but it drops when schools start. So can someone on here tell me she is panicking over nothing.

My daughter was born premature and according to the chart she’s underweight going by her weight (she’s nearly 1 now). When you look at her she doesn’t look underweight she just has a small frame and a small appetite always has even with her milk could only manage 4oz bottles at a time even now she’s only on 5oz. On the other hand my toddler was always classed as on the 98th and overweight (he wasn’t he was a long baby and liked his milk). He’s now 3 and tall and skinny. I would tell your friend not to worry about the charts/centiles as they aren’t accurate on how a baby looks and I’m sure her wee one looks absolutely fine.

 

[al255]

Just to add to my rant. My daughters dad said “I put things in her mind” as to why she doesn’t like going. duck offfffff she doesn’t like going cos it’s boring and wants to be with me

 

[JulesC]

Just to add to my rant. My daughters dad said “I put things in her mind” as to why she doesn’t like going. duck offfffff she doesn’t like going cos it’s boring and wants to be with me

ahh man, he sounds like hard work.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’m just wondering if anyone else has had a bad experience with your friends kids. Please bare with it’s a bit long winded.
In Easter hols I went to my friends with my little boy. They have a child similar age to mine. They were fine playing for a bit but she kept snatching things off him ( I know they are her toys so I understand its hard for them to share at that age they are both 4 few months before them) outside in the Wendy house she wanted him out so he pulled him by is his hood dead roughly as well!

I took him a packed lunch as we were there from 11 and don’t expect my friend to use her food. Anyway my friends kid had an utter meltdown mine had a custard pot and she didn’t have one .. she kicked off really bad. They calmed her down and she was fine then 10 mins later she wanted to get her crafts set out but my friend said no cos their other baby has just started crawling and they didn’t want him to put the things in his mouth etc. omg she had the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen. Mine doesn’t have them , he never has.not like that anyway! But she was kicking her mum and she smacked her dad and so they put her in the kitchen for time out and she was throwing all the cupboards open emptying everything on the floor. Wrecked their clothes airer. Mine was a bit traumatised so I took him home, cos she was screaming and shouting he didn’t like it..

Anyway it’s kind of put me off going to their house again with him . Am I being dramatic/
Soft / unreasonable. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks

 

[Jellybean093]

I’m just wondering if anyone else has had a bad experience with your friends kids. Please bare with it’s a bit long winded.
In Easter hols I went to my friends with my little boy. They have a child similar age to mine. They were fine playing for a bit but she kept snatching things off him ( I know they are her toys so I understand its hard for them to share at that age they are both 4 few months before them) outside in the Wendy house she wanted him out so he pulled him by is his hood dead roughly as well!

I took him a packed lunch as we were there from 11 and don’t expect my friend to use her food. Anyway my friends kid had an utter meltdown mine had a custard pot and she didn’t have one .. she kicked off really bad. They calmed her down and she was fine then 10 mins later she wanted to get her crafts set out but my friend said no cos their other baby has just started crawling and they didn’t want him to put the things in his mouth etc. omg she had the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen. Mine doesn’t have them , he never has.not like that anyway! But she was kicking her mum and she smacked her dad and so they put her in the kitchen for time out and she was throwing all the cupboards open emptying everything on the floor. Wrecked their clothes airer. Mine was a bit traumatised so I took him home, cos she was screaming and shouting he didn’t like it..

Anyway it’s kind of put me off going to their house again with him . Am I being dramatic/
Soft / unreasonable. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks

So, I have 2 friends with kids the same age, and I’m like when we all meet as their kids argue while my 3yo is off in his own little world. It is getting slightly better though, but there is a bit of snatching and stuff going on, and I just have to tell mine to let them have it for a minute, as I know he won’t tantrum like they will (even if he had it first and/or it’s his toys

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So, I have 2 friends with kids the same age, and I’m like when we all meet as their kids argue while my 3yo is off in his own little world. It is getting slightly better though, but there is a bit of snatching and stuff going on, and I just have to tell mine to let them have it for a minute, as I know he won’t tantrum like they will (even if he had it first and/or it’s his toys

I thought maybe it would be best to meet at a park or something next time so it’s neutral ground.
They said she doesn’t get as much attention now they have the other baby and they think that’s why she’s like that. It’s hard work isn’t it
more trouble than it’s worth really!!
Oh and they said she has tantrums cos she’s so smart!!! Is that true

 

[LilyRose1234]

I thought maybe it would be best to meet at a park or something next time so it’s neutral ground.
They said she doesn’t get as much attention now they have the other baby and they think that’s why she’s like that. It’s hard work isn’t it
more trouble than it’s worth really!!
Oh and they said she has tantrums cos she’s so smart!!! Is that true

Haha a nice lady in the supermarket when mine was having a full blown meltdown told me it was a sign of intelligence, and I’m 100% sure it’s just something you say to someone who looks like they’re on the edge

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I’m just wondering if anyone else has had a bad experience with your friends kids. Please bare with it’s a bit long winded.
In Easter hols I went to my friends with my little boy. They have a child similar age to mine. They were fine playing for a bit but she kept snatching things off him ( I know they are her toys so I understand its hard for them to share at that age they are both 4 few months before them) outside in the Wendy house she wanted him out so he pulled him by is his hood dead roughly as well!

I took him a packed lunch as we were there from 11 and don’t expect my friend to use her food. Anyway my friends kid had an utter meltdown mine had a custard pot and she didn’t have one .. she kicked off really bad. They calmed her down and she was fine then 10 mins later she wanted to get her crafts set out but my friend said no cos their other baby has just started crawling and they didn’t want him to put the things in his mouth etc. omg she had the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen. Mine doesn’t have them , he never has.not like that anyway! But she was kicking her mum and she smacked her dad and so they put her in the kitchen for time out and she was throwing all the cupboards open emptying everything on the floor. Wrecked their clothes airer. Mine was a bit traumatised so I took him home, cos she was screaming and shouting he didn’t like it..

Anyway it’s kind of put me off going to their house again with him . Am I being dramatic/
Soft / unreasonable. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks

This made me feel really sad as my daughter has been acting like this. Although not with her friends but I find it so hard when she has a meltdown and attacks me in front of her/my friends. Yesterday we had a family meal and she was overwhelmed and pulled her aunts hair. We have a three month old and the behaviour has started since he arrived. Doesn’t help that her nanny made a comment about how good the baby is compared to her right after.

 

[Jellybean093]

I thought maybe it would be best to meet at a park or something next time so it’s neutral ground.
They said she doesn’t get as much attention now they have the other baby and they think that’s why she’s like that. It’s hard work isn’t it
more trouble than it’s worth really!!
Oh and they said she has tantrums cos she’s so smart!!! Is that true

Oh, I’ve never heard of that before! My 3yo is quite smart (minus the speech) and he doesn’t tantrum a lot. He’s started stamping his feet a bit, but I think that’s because of half term and he needs to be at school

 

[pinksunsetx91]

I’m just wondering if anyone else has had a bad experience with your friends kids. Please bare with it’s a bit long winded.
In Easter hols I went to my friends with my little boy. They have a child similar age to mine. They were fine playing for a bit but she kept snatching things off him ( I know they are her toys so I understand its hard for them to share at that age they are both 4 few months before them) outside in the Wendy house she wanted him out so he pulled him by is his hood dead roughly as well!

I took him a packed lunch as we were there from 11 and don’t expect my friend to use her food. Anyway my friends kid had an utter meltdown mine had a custard pot and she didn’t have one .. she kicked off really bad. They calmed her down and she was fine then 10 mins later she wanted to get her crafts set out but my friend said no cos their other baby has just started crawling and they didn’t want him to put the things in his mouth etc. omg she had the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen. Mine doesn’t have them , he never has.not like that anyway! But she was kicking her mum and she smacked her dad and so they put her in the kitchen for time out and she was throwing all the cupboards open emptying everything on the floor. Wrecked their clothes airer. Mine was a bit traumatised so I took him home, cos she was screaming and shouting he didn’t like it..

Anyway it’s kind of put me off going to their house again with him . Am I being dramatic/
Soft / unreasonable. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks

I have a friend who has child similar age as mine and an older couple kids as well. My toddler got upset last time we visited hers as the older one and toddler were kicking and hitting each other. My wee one keeps shouting no stop it he didn’t like it. It’s so difficult when things happen and your visiting friends but my wee one was a bit scared to go back. in the end I had to say to her we don’t do that at home so he doesn’t like it and also he doesn’t even like shouting etc. could you maybe explain to her your wee one was a wee bit upset or would it be awkward to do that? It’s a hard one isn’t it when it involves friends

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

This made me feel really sad as my daughter has been acting like this. Although not with her friends but I find it so hard when she has a meltdown and attacks me in front of her/my friends. Yesterday we had a family meal and she was overwhelmed and pulled her aunts hair. We have a three month old and the behaviour has started since he arrived. Doesn’t help that her nanny made a comment about how good the baby is compared to her right after.

It wasn’t as such the tantrum that I was bothered by it was the way she grabbed his hood and tried dragging him out of her Wendy house my friends say all the time she tries bossing her friends around.
When she was having the tantrum mine was on my knee with his head in my chest hiding.
How come it has made you sad. Sorry
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I have a friend who has child similar age as mine and an older couple kids as well. My toddler got upset last time we visited hers as the older one and toddler were kicking and hitting each other. My wee one keeps shouting no stop it he didn’t like it. It’s so difficult when things happen and your visiting friends but my wee one was a bit scared to go back. in the end I had to say to her we don’t do that at home so he doesn’t like it and also he doesn’t even like shouting etc. could you maybe explain to her your wee one was a wee bit upset or would it be awkward to do that? It’s a hard one isn’t it when it involves friends

Well I thought if we met somewhere out and about it might be better. And then if she is the same then I’ll say something. They know she is bossy tho! They said she was bossing a girl around at the park the week before
Maybe she was just having a bad day but I’m just protective of mine because he has only recently started speaking properly and at nursery they say he struggles to communicate with the other children so I just didn’t like the way she man handled him

 

[Puffin_island]

I’m just wondering if anyone else has had a bad experience with your friends kids. Please bare with it’s a bit long winded.
In Easter hols I went to my friends with my little boy. They have a child similar age to mine. They were fine playing for a bit but she kept snatching things off him ( I know they are her toys so I understand its hard for them to share at that age they are both 4 few months before them) outside in the Wendy house she wanted him out so he pulled him by is his hood dead roughly as well!

I took him a packed lunch as we were there from 11 and don’t expect my friend to use her food. Anyway my friends kid had an utter meltdown mine had a custard pot and she didn’t have one .. she kicked off really bad. They calmed her down and she was fine then 10 mins later she wanted to get her crafts set out but my friend said no cos their other baby has just started crawling and they didn’t want him to put the things in his mouth etc. omg she had the worst tantrum I’ve ever seen. Mine doesn’t have them , he never has.not like that anyway! But she was kicking her mum and she smacked her dad and so they put her in the kitchen for time out and she was throwing all the cupboards open emptying everything on the floor. Wrecked their clothes airer. Mine was a bit traumatised so I took him home, cos she was screaming and shouting he didn’t like it..

Anyway it’s kind of put me off going to their house again with him . Am I being dramatic/
Soft / unreasonable. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks

I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable or dramatic.
I personally disagree with the whole timeout situations and using the baby as an excuse as to why the other child can't do something. So to me I think she is using tantrums because it's how she's getting a direct one on one connection with her parents.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

It wasn’t as such the tantrum that I was bothered by it was the way she grabbed his hood and tried dragging him out of her Wendy house my friends say all the time she tries bossing her friends around.
When she was having the tantrum mine was on my knee with his head in my chest hiding.
How come it has made you sad. Sorry

No need to apologise, I guess I see similarities with your friends child’s behaviour and mine. She can be aggressive by hitting, biting, throwing, has started to be rude, bossy and whiny. I see a little girl totally overwhelmed asking for help. But being on the outside looking in I can imagine it is overwhelming for you and your son. I wouldn’t allow my daughter unsupervised play time if she was being aggressive to her friends though, I would be there to intervene and stop that before it got to that point. Although that’s a bit rich as I wasn’t watching her when she pulled her aunts hair. My partner was but he isn’t as good at seeing it coming, don’t know why as it’s been months and she’s always been very easily overstimulated.
I couldn’t sleep last night because I felt angry about comments made by family and their expectations of a child in an adult situation. I guess I feel sad that other people will see my daughter’s behaviour and judge her and I guess also me.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

No need to apologise, I guess I see similarities with your friends child’s behaviour and mine. She can be aggressive by hitting, biting, throwing, has started to be rude, bossy and whiny. I see a little girl totally overwhelmed asking for help. But being on the outside looking in I can imagine it is overwhelming for you and your son. I wouldn’t allow my daughter unsupervised play time if she was being aggressive to her friends though, I would be there to intervene and stop that before it got to that point. Although that’s a bit rich as I wasn’t watching her when she pulled her aunts hair. My partner was but he isn’t as good at seeing it coming, don’t know why as it’s been months and she’s always been very easily overstimulated.
I couldn’t sleep last night because I felt angry about comments made by family and their expectations of a child in an adult situation. I guess I feel sad that other people will see my daughter’s behaviour and judge her and I guess also me.

Aww I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. That isn’t nice. I would never say anything like that to them! Mine used to pull or grip onto us when we took him somewhere new he really didn’t like it. But he doesn’t do that now. But last time we went out for a family meal he didn’t even want to sit at the table so my other half kept taking him outside. Was she not comfortable being out with everyone. I can understand that.
But my friends was just having a tantrum cos they’d told her no not because she was over whelmed. I was outside with them when she pulled his hood and I said to her be nice and her mum was inside changing the baby’s nappy and she said what’s she doing and when I told her she just laughed! they both just laughed it off and said she’s so bossy.
Maybe I’m just being over protective because he can’t stand up for himself properly

 

[Jellybean093]

This made me feel really sad as my daughter has been acting like this. Although not with her friends but I find it so hard when she has a meltdown and attacks me in front of her/my friends. Yesterday we had a family meal and she was overwhelmed and pulled her aunts hair. We have a three month old and the behaviour has started since he arrived. Doesn’t help that her nanny made a comment about how good the baby is compared to her right after.

But a baby does massively change the dynamic. She’s still so little. My eldest was 7 when he brother was born, and she struggled and hit out massively because her mum got taken away from her.
You know why her behaviour has changed. Please don’t feel sad people will judge no matter what!

 

[moimoi]

Hello all! I haven’t posted in these threads for a while, my kid is 2 next month somehow, but I need to rant somewhere, so I apologise.

I quit my job last year as I wasn’t ready to return (they were dickheads and I’d rather spend my time with my son) and fortunately, my husband earns enough.

My toddler started nursery a couple days a week at 18 months, so I’ve been looking for a job since then, got to the final stages to a few of them but haven’t been successful. Anyway, I’ve been feeling really tit and borderline depressed about this, and I’ve had a few comments from people (men) that have made me feel even bleeper.

Brother: ‘You not got a job yet?’ Me: ‘yeah, being a mother’ Brother: ‘Easiest job ever.’

Dad: ‘You got a job yet?’ Me: ‘No.’ Dad: ‘Lazy sod.’

A dad who lives local: ‘Any luck on the job front, or are you just chilling?’

What do I say back to these mats? Has really put in perspective how little people (men) think of mothers.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Hello all! I haven’t posted in these threads for a while, my kid is 2 next month somehow, but I need to rant somewhere, so I apologise.

I quit my job last year as I wasn’t ready to return (they were dickheads and I’d rather spend my time with my son) and fortunately, my husband earns enough.

My toddler started nursery a couple days a week at 18 months, so I’ve been looking for a job since then, got to the final stages to a few of them but haven’t been successful. Anyway, I’ve been feeling really tit and borderline depressed about this, and I’ve had a few comments from people (men) that have made me feel even bleeper.

Brother: ‘You not got a job yet?’ Me: ‘yeah, being a mother’ Brother: ‘Easiest job ever.’

Dad: ‘You got a job yet?’ Me: ‘No.’ Dad: ‘Lazy sod.’

A dad who lives local: ‘Any luck on the job front, or are you just chilling?’

What do I say back to these mats? Has really put in perspective how little people (men) think of mothers.

I was in a similar situation, my partners Uncle who see a lot is a proper judgemental head. I was a sahm and he’d make comments about me just ‘relaxing at home’ ‘not paying my way in life’ bla bla bla. Asked me if I have a job yet everytime I seen him. I did get a job, I’m a healthcare assistant in a nursing home and when i told him i got a job he told me it weren’t a proper job dunno how that works cos a job is a job but it tipped me over the edge cos i’m proud of my job and what i do so i told him to duck off and mind his own business he’s not said anything since. It may not be ideal to say exactly that but just stick up for yourself and say you are trying to do what is best for you and your child, and it’s non of their business. The right thing for you will come when it’s the right time. Good luck

 

[moimoi]

I was in a similar situation, my partners Uncle who see a lot is a proper judgemental head. I was a sahm and he’d make comments about me just ‘relaxing at home’ ‘not paying my way in life’ bla bla bla. Asked me if I have a job yet everytime I seen him. I did get a job, I’m a healthcare assistant in a nursing home and when i told him i got a job he told me it weren’t a proper job dunno how that works cos a job is a job but it tipped me over the edge cos i’m proud of my job and what i do so i told him to duck off and mind his own business he’s not said anything since. It may not be ideal to say exactly that but just stick up for yourself and say you are trying to do what is best for you and your child, and it’s non of their business. The right thing for you will come when it’s the right time. Good luck

I’m glad you told him to duck off! Such mats!!! I feel like I need to do the same, not sure why I care so much about offending people when they’re offending and hurting me. And thank you!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m glad you told him to duck off! Such mats!!! I feel like I need to do the same, not sure why I care so much about offending people when they’re offending and hurting me. And thank you!

Exactly! Honestly if you show them you don’t care about their opinion and you defend yourself they will probably stop it. Some people are just so judgemental especially towards Mums

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Aww I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. That isn’t nice. I would never say anything like that to them! Mine used to pull or grip onto us when we took him somewhere new he really didn’t like it. But he doesn’t do that now. But last time we went out for a family meal he didn’t even want to sit at the table so my other half kept taking him outside. Was she not comfortable being out with everyone. I can understand that.
But my friends was just having a tantrum cos they’d told her no not because she was over whelmed. I was outside with them when she pulled his hood and I said to her be nice and her mum was inside changing the baby’s nappy and she said what’s she doing and when I told her she just laughed! they both just laughed it off and said she’s so bossy.
Maybe I’m just being over protective because he can’t stand up for himself properly

Thank you, I feel like I projected my own feelings onto your post sorry about that! Yeah it’s just not a great situation for her as she ends up being in the spotlight with 6 adults all commenting on what she’s doing, what she’s eating (or not eating) and her grandad spent the whole time in the kitchen cooking then cleaning up. It’s just a lot and I always leave feeling annoyed.
Oh that’s not on. I wouldn’t be happy with that. You’re not being over protective, they should be stopping her not laughing it off. I’d definitely meet on neutral ground next time. She might fair better if it’s not her space, although isn’t always the case.