Toddler advice thread #3

[ohnoshedidntdidshe]

Any advice for potty training a 3 year old who is non-verbal?

My daughter had a stroke at birth which has left her with a large area of brain damage on the left side of her brain (where speech is developed and where controls the muscles in the right side of her body).

She isn’t able to tell me when she needs a wee/poo and also isn’t able to pull her trousers/pants down and up herself.

I’m hopeful that one day she will overcome her speech delay and find her own way of navigating her clothes… she’s so determined and fiesty I can’t ever see her disability getting the better of her.

I’m just very conscious that I’m a couple of weeks she is starting pre-school and most will be potty trained. We sit her on the potty regularly and talk to her about it but how much she understands is hard to tell. She’s never actually done anything on the potty so we haven’t been able to do the over the top celebration which we did with her big brother.

 

[Jellybean093]

We did a 4 hour flight to Cyprus in the summer with a 2.5 year old. I was hoping she'd sleep on the plane but we got like 30 mins each way at most.
Her nanny was sat behind us (that's my mum, not hired help ) and she loved just popping her head up over the seat and saying Hi. I think the only thing we really used on the plane to keep her occupied was food and her Amazon tablet! I know some people don't like screens but I really did not want her running up and down the aisle and having to keep my eyes on where she was, so she sat in the middle between me and her dad and just played games/watched a film.
It went miles better than expected (in fact, the whole holiday was a breeze compared to being at home!)

The only people who don’t like screen time are people that don’t have kids

PleaS don’t get offended if you have kids and don’t give screen time. The iPad is my childminder x

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Any advice for potty training a 3 year old who is non-verbal?

My daughter had a stroke at birth which has left her with a large area of brain damage on the left side of her brain (where speech is developed and where controls the muscles in the right side of her body).

She isn’t able to tell me when she needs a wee/poo and also isn’t able to pull her trousers/pants down and up herself.

I’m hopeful that one day she will overcome her speech delay and find her own way of navigating her clothes… she’s so determined and fiesty I can’t ever see her disability getting the better of her.

I’m just very conscious that I’m a couple of weeks she is starting pre-school and most will be potty trained. We sit her on the potty regularly and talk to her about it but how much she understands is hard to tell. She’s never actually done anything on the potty so we haven’t been able to do the over the top celebration which we did with her big brother.

Sorry this might be a stupid question but can she do baby sign? I know there’s signs for wee and poo in baby sign language so just wondering if that would help at all (I guess you could just make up a sign she can do if it’s not the official one?)
I know parents often use dolls and doll potties to show children what the potty is for… and you could celebrate the dolly when she does a wee?
Preschool will hopefully have a lot to impart to you on helping, so don’t worry if she’s not potty trained before she starts, there will be others in a similar situation xx

 

[ohnoshedidntdidshe]

Sorry this might be a stupid question but can she do baby sign? I know there’s signs for wee and poo in baby sign language so just wondering if that would help at all (I guess you could just make up a sign she can do if it’s not the official one?)
I know parents often use dolls and doll potties to show children what the potty is for… and you could celebrate the dolly when she does a wee?
Preschool will hopefully have a lot to impart to you on helping, so don’t worry if she’s not potty trained before she starts, there will be others in a similar situation xx

I’ve learnt some basic makaton but she’s not that interested and doesn’t copy me… i think it’s because a lot of it uses two hands.
Thank you for the Doll idea… I hadn’t thought of that! Hopefully pre school will have some ideas and we can make a plan between us xxxx

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

I’ve learnt some basic makaton but she’s not that interested and doesn’t copy me… i think it’s because a lot of it uses two hands.
Thank you for the Doll idea… I hadn’t thought of that! Hopefully pre school will have some ideas and we can make a plan between us xxxx

Pre school will be great for her, seeing peers use the toilet will also help a lot! Do they have SEN educators?

 

[ohnoshedidntdidshe]

Pre school will be great for her, seeing peers use the toilet will also help a lot! Do they have SEN educators?

They have a SENCO and the school has had input from a specialist teacher from our local authority which has been helpful.
We live in a tiny village which has a tiny school so there isn’t a lot of children per class. I’m hoping this means she will get plenty of help and support from the teachers. I don’t think she would cope/thrive in a class with 30 other kids xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Any advice for potty training a 3 year old who is non-verbal?

My daughter had a stroke at birth which has left her with a large area of brain damage on the left side of her brain (where speech is developed and where controls the muscles in the right side of her body).

She isn’t able to tell me when she needs a wee/poo and also isn’t able to pull her trousers/pants down and up herself.

I’m hopeful that one day she will overcome her speech delay and find her own way of navigating her clothes… she’s so determined and fiesty I can’t ever see her disability getting the better of her.

I’m just very conscious that I’m a couple of weeks she is starting pre-school and most will be potty trained. We sit her on the potty regularly and talk to her about it but how much she understands is hard to tell. She’s never actually done anything on the potty so we haven’t been able to do the over the top celebration which we did with her big brother.

Prefacing this with the fact that I have no experience in the area of PT a non-verbal child so may be totally useless. But the first thing that came to mind was could you use two signs in your bathroom, one for pee and one for poo? So if she can’t say she needs the toilet, and she isn’t able to sign, she could use the signs instead? Like routine card style cards?
With Getting her to understand more what it’s for, as gross as it may be, taking her when you go and showing her what you’ve done () may help? Also when she does a poo taking it with her to the toilet and tipping it out of her nappy in to the toilet to show her that’s where poo goes.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

They have a SENCO and the school has had input from a specialist teacher from our local authority which has been helpful.
We live in a tiny village which has a tiny school so there isn’t a lot of children per class. I’m hoping this means she will get plenty of help and support from the teachers. I don’t think she would cope/thrive in a class with 30 other kids xx

She doesn’t need to be potty trained for pre school, and I’m sure they will help her. They’ll definitely put it as one of her targets. Mine has targets and I set it to be ready for reception but nursery said not to worry if not. Mine has a speech delay very behind with his speech. He’s 4 in April and still not potty trained. He doesn’t understand yet. I’ve tried a few times and he just gets really upset.

 

[WhatABore]

Any advice for potty training a 3 year old who is non-verbal?

My daughter had a stroke at birth which has left her with a large area of brain damage on the left side of her brain (where speech is developed and where controls the muscles in the right side of her body).

She isn’t able to tell me when she needs a wee/poo and also isn’t able to pull her trousers/pants down and up herself.

I’m hopeful that one day she will overcome her speech delay and find her own way of navigating her clothes… she’s so determined and fiesty I can’t ever see her disability getting the better of her.

I’m just very conscious that I’m a couple of weeks she is starting pre-school and most will be potty trained. We sit her on the potty regularly and talk to her about it but how much she understands is hard to tell. She’s never actually done anything on the potty so we haven’t been able to do the over the top celebration which we did with her big brother.

Could you look at getting her a set of Pecs cards to help her communicate?
We use them constant in SEN schools and they will probably give her some for pre school too. So could get a good idea to get her used to them already
Then when she eventually does a wee on the potty, hand her the wee pecs card and she should eventually link the 2.
If they're always handy, she can then hand you/show you the pecs card when she needs to go in the future.

This is similar to the set we had in school

 

[ohnoshedidntdidshe]

Thanks for all the fab tips! Xx

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Just had an almighty row with my husband. We never argue, I get heated and he’s very stoic normally. Basically our toddler has had a very clumsy day, he fell off a chair and then off a bed - both in a highly dramatic manner. Both times my husband was in ‘lead parent’ mode and I always feel like he doesn’t watch for these things as much as I do. I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve been having loads of intrusive thoughts, so I’m very over cautious and feel like these kinds of things happen way less when I’m there and in active parent mode.

Anyway, I slammed a door after the kid fell off the bed and I had a semi breakdown and basically said I felt like I couldn’t leave the room and had to be lead parent all the time. Husband took the offensive as if I’d said he was purposefully being neglectful/intentionally hurting him, which I can understand why he might have taken it that way, but I didn’t mean it that way (just that he needed to be a bit more on it) and would never EVER accuse him of doing that, he’s a great hands-on dad. It was obviously all going on at bed time, kid was screaming because I was crying, I told husband to leave the room and take the baby downstairs. He did. I did bedtime and assured the kid that we were just angry but everyone loved each other but we were just scared he was going to hurt himself.

Came down to an apology from husband saying he took it too far. I think he realised what he’d said to me was basically putting words in my mouth that I thought he was negligent. I tearfully explained to him in a short sentence that he had no idea of the daily anxiety I have around the kids’ safety, and that intrusive thoughts were happening all the time. Haven’t spoken much since. He’s gone to pick up a takeaway.

What a mess, eh?

 

[Okgolightly]

Just had an almighty row with my husband. We never argue, I get heated and he’s very stoic normally. Basically our toddler has had a very clumsy day, he fell off a chair and then off a bed - both in a highly dramatic manner. Both times my husband was in ‘lead parent’ mode and I always feel like he doesn’t watch for these things as much as I do. I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve been having loads of intrusive thoughts, so I’m very over cautious and feel like these kinds of things happen way less when I’m there and in active parent mode.

Anyway, I slammed a door after the kid fell off the bed and I had a semi breakdown and basically said I felt like I couldn’t leave the room and had to be lead parent all the time. Husband took the offensive as if I’d said he was purposefully being neglectful/intentionally hurting him, which I can understand why he might have taken it that way, but I didn’t mean it that way (just that he needed to be a bit more on it) and would never EVER accuse him of doing that, he’s a great hands-on dad. It was obviously all going on at bed time, kid was screaming because I was crying, I told husband to leave the room and take the baby downstairs. He did. I did bedtime and assured the kid that we were just angry but everyone loved each other but we were just scared he was going to hurt himself.

Came down to an apology from husband saying he took it too far. I think he realised what he’d said to me was basically putting words in my mouth that I thought he was negligent. I tearfully explained to him in a short sentence that he had no idea of the daily anxiety I have around the kids’ safety, and that intrusive thoughts were happening all the time. Haven’t spoken much since. He’s gone to pick up a takeaway.

What a mess, eh?

I hope you’re doing ok now I completely understand where you are coming from- sometimes things build up to a point where it boils over. I would say at least you have made your feelings clear and maybe your husband is reflecting on this? Try have some time to yourself tonight if you can!

 

[Jellybean093]

Just had an almighty row with my husband. We never argue, I get heated and he’s very stoic normally. Basically our toddler has had a very clumsy day, he fell off a chair and then off a bed - both in a highly dramatic manner. Both times my husband was in ‘lead parent’ mode and I always feel like he doesn’t watch for these things as much as I do. I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve been having loads of intrusive thoughts, so I’m very over cautious and feel like these kinds of things happen way less when I’m there and in active parent mode.

Anyway, I slammed a door after the kid fell off the bed and I had a semi breakdown and basically said I felt like I couldn’t leave the room and had to be lead parent all the time. Husband took the offensive as if I’d said he was purposefully being neglectful/intentionally hurting him, which I can understand why he might have taken it that way, but I didn’t mean it that way (just that he needed to be a bit more on it) and would never EVER accuse him of doing that, he’s a great hands-on dad. It was obviously all going on at bed time, kid was screaming because I was crying, I told husband to leave the room and take the baby downstairs. He did. I did bedtime and assured the kid that we were just angry but everyone loved each other but we were just scared he was going to hurt himself.

Came down to an apology from husband saying he took it too far. I think he realised what he’d said to me was basically putting words in my mouth that I thought he was negligent. I tearfully explained to him in a short sentence that he had no idea of the daily anxiety I have around the kids’ safety, and that intrusive thoughts were happening all the time. Haven’t spoken much since. He’s gone to pick up a takeaway.

What a mess, eh?

Please don’t feel bad. And no one take this the wrong way, please, but men can’t do it like we do. When my 6yo was a baby, I was at work, the KW (knobwaffle from the baby thread!) was looking after him, he was only 1 at the time, and he left the baby gate open and he fell down a whole flight of stairs. Me, I’d be up A&E, him, ‘argh, he’s fine’ etc.
Mr B is always the ‘fun parent’ I’m the strict one

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Still trying to put mini Pillows to bed. Good lord, this is exhausting. I am at my wits end

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Been taking an hour every night this week to get my 3 year old to sleep. I’m over it.

 

[shoppingismycardio]

Just needed to come here and rant anonymously
My 2.5 year old is soooooo full on at the moment. She just has no chill, she can’t ever sit still, she’s on the go from the second she wakes up until she goes to bed, constantly getting at things she shouldn’t, emptying drawers and cupboards etc
We take her out pretty much every day and interact with her a lot and follow her lead in terms of play but she will be happily playing one min then the next she will run off and be in the kitchen emptying a draw before we can blink

Not necessarily after advice, just wanted somewhere to vent anonymously as I’m just really not enjoying this stage tbh

 

[watermelon sugar]

Just needed to come here and rant anonymously
My 2.5 year old is soooooo full on at the moment. She just has no chill, she can’t ever sit still, she’s on the go from the second she wakes up until she goes to bed, constantly getting at things she shouldn’t, emptying drawers and cupboards etc
We take her out pretty much every day and interact with her a lot and follow her lead in terms of play but she will be happily playing one min then the next she will run off and be in the kitchen emptying a draw before we can blink

Not necessarily after advice, just wanted somewhere to vent anonymously as I’m just really not enjoying this stage tbh

my nearly 3 year old is the same. he just never stops. from the minute he wakes up till he goes to bed he’s like a hurricane I do like that he’s so inquisitive and interested in everything but i do wish sometimes he would just sit still for 5 mins instead of being a whirlwind all the time

 

[shoppingismycardio]

my nearly 3 year old is the same. he just never stops. from the minute he wakes up till he goes to bed he’s like a hurricane I do like that he’s so inquisitive and interested in everything but i do wish sometimes he would just sit still for a mins instead of being a whirlwind all the time

Omg this is exactly it! She is really curious and interested in things which is lovely but yeah it would be nice if she stopped for 5 mins. Over Xmas I saw so many people sharing on social media that they were all snuggled up watching a Christmas film together etc and I was like “literally how!?”

 

[WhatABore]

Omg this is exactly it! She is really curious and interested in things which is lovely but yeah it would be nice if she stopped for 5 mins. Over Xmas I saw so many people sharing on social media that they were all snuggled up watching a Christmas film together etc and I was like “literally how!?”

I've always wondered this
I have a nearly 10yo, nearly 5yo and the youngest is 21 months.
And we've never sat and watched a film. My nearly 5yo has never watched even half a film in her life. Probably not even a quarter of one.
The nearly 10 year old has zero interest in films and probably wouldn't even manage half of one!

 

[Definitelyme]

So glad to see you all saying this. We are not snuggle up and watch a film type of people either (kids are 9,7,4 & 20 months) Films are just so long! My friend took her 5&3yo to see Matilda at the cinema last week and I was amazed, I wouldn’t ever attempt that with them at that age!
@shoppingismycardio remember as well just because someone shares a pic of everyone watching a film doesn’t mean they actually sat nicely and watched the whole thing! Highlights reel!