Toddler advice thread #3

jackieweaver’sauthority · Nov 19, 2022

My daughter has been having wee accidents this week again which she hasn’t for months.
It started at preschool but now doing it at home. I don’t think the preschool is for her, but I don’t want to change it so close to Xmas and the baby.
It’s definitely for attention at home, she’s playing up in so many different ways. She’s had a lot of changes and I’m knackered and reactive so it’s really not going great right now
I don’t think my situation relates to yours just saying it’s not just your daughter and I think it is quite common.

Jellybean093 · Nov 19, 2022

jackieweaver’sauthority said:
My daughter has been having wee accidents this week again which she hasn’t for months.
It started at preschool but now doing it at home. I don’t think the preschool is for her, but I don’t want to change it so close to Xmas and the baby.
It’s definitely for attention at home, she’s playing up in so many different ways. She’s had a lot of changes and I’m knackered and reactive so it’s really not going great right now
I don’t think my situation relates to yours just saying it’s not just your daughter and I think it is quite common.

My 3yo has started wetting the bed. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I think he may be having nightmares as he wakes screaming

al255 · Nov 19, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
I would risk the zoo. You can’t not go anywhere incase she does an accident. Just take her home if she does? Can you explain that If she does do it in her knickers you’ll have to go home?

ive said that to her this morning! I said if it happens we have to come home. I think she’s realising I’m serious.Shes been worse this week then ever

strawberrysunshine_x · Nov 19, 2022

al255 said:
ive said that to her this morning! I said if it happens we have to come home. I think she’s realising I’m serious.Shes been worse this week then ever

I wonder why. Is there anything happening that could be making her anxious or anything changed? Fingers crossed it goes ok at the zoo! Hope you have a good day.

I’m having a major freak out this morning that my son is going into reception next September and I just don’t think he’s gonna be ready & I’m really worried about it. Not sure why I’m thinking about it on a Saturday morning !! I’m just soo worried he’s not gonna be talking properly in 10 months time. I’m meeting with the nursery senco on Monday morning & just feel a bit nervous about the whole thing

WhatABore · Nov 19, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
I wonder why. Is there anything happening that could be making her anxious or anything changed? Fingers crossed it goes ok at the zoo! Hope you have a good day.

I’m having a major freak out this morning that my son is going into reception next September and I just don’t think he’s gonna be ready & I’m really worried about it. Not sure why I’m thinking about it on a Saturday morning !! I’m just soo worried he’s not gonna be talking properly in 10 months time. I’m meeting with the nursery senco on Monday morning & just feel a bit nervous about the whole thing

Even if he isn't, school will definitley help him. They have so much support.
Most schools also have support staff especially for children with speech and language struggles.

You will probably find he'll actually get much more support being at school than at nursery

strawberrysunshine_x · Nov 19, 2022

WhatABore said:
Even if he isn't, school will definitley help him. They have so much support.
Most schools also have support staff especially for children with speech and language struggles.

You will probably find he'll actually get much more support being at school than at nursery

I know deep down I know you’re right. My friend said similar. I really don’t know why I’m worried so much

WhatABore · Nov 19, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
I know deep down I know you’re right. My friend said similar. I really don’t know why I’m worried so much

I've worked in 3 different schools and the amount of support the schools give is really good.
My daughters school seem even better than the ones I've worked in too.
There's so much support out there

strawberrysunshine_x · Nov 19, 2022

WhatABore said:
I've worked in 3 different schools and the amount of support the schools give is really good.
My daughters school seem even better than the ones I've worked in too.
There's so much support out there

Thanks. I was looking online & it says that they will offer good support. I’ll have to go into my chosen school before January just to make sure. My friend works at the school I’ve picked & she says the senco is fab but I’d like to see for myself for sure. I’m just worried about choosing the right school & I just worry about him in general . We’ve been to a play centre this morning & this other little boy was a bit mean to him saying I don’t like you go away & when I went to another one a girl was horrible to him then. Kids ey

WhatABore · Nov 19, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
Thanks. I was looking online & it says that they will offer good support. I’ll have to go into my chosen school before January just to make sure. My friend works at the school I’ve picked & she says the senco is fab but I’d like to see for myself for sure. I’m just worried about choosing the right school & I just worry about him in general . We’ve been to a play centre this morning & this other little boy was a bit mean to him saying I don’t like you go away & when I went to another one a girl was horrible to him then. Kids ey

This was one of my worries with school. My 4yo never went to nursery and she's never had anyone be mean to her at all. And she thinks everyone is so nice. I was so worried that it'd be a shock to her and affect her more if kids were mean to her at school.
So far, apart from 1 kid hitting her, she's been fine.
But I thought about it day in day out over the summer holidays!

al255 · Nov 19, 2022

strawberrysunshine_x said:
I wonder why. Is there anything happening that could be making her anxious or anything changed? Fingers crossed it goes ok at the zoo! Hope you have a good day.

I’m having a major freak out this morning that my son is going into reception next September and I just don’t think he’s gonna be ready & I’m really worried about it. Not sure why I’m thinking about it on a Saturday morning !! I’m just soo worried he’s not gonna be talking properly in 10 months time. I’m meeting with the nursery senco on Monday morning & just feel a bit nervous about the whole thing

urrrrrm so she did well at the zoo, no accidents but then when we went to the sea side she did a fart and did a poo in her pants, then when we got home did it again but I wonder if it’s cos she things she’s doing a fart and she’s not? tomorrow I’m gunna have a day where we stay in and it’s back to no pants at all. Go back to basics!

Megatron1298 · Nov 21, 2022

Eeek think we have entered the hitting/throwing phase with the baby. We’ve always allowed soft things as an outlet to be thrown in the house which had worked really well until now but he threw a few cloth nappies right on the babies face and I potentially reacted a bit much so he is now repeating it… any advice? Assume just no reaction, and move him away? I know it’s not malicious but my god the smirk the 2yo gives when he’s “misbehaving”

wakametango 2.0 · Nov 21, 2022

Megatron1298 said:
Eeek think we have entered the hitting/throwing phase with the baby. We’ve always allowed soft things as an outlet to be thrown in the house which had worked really well until now but he threw a few cloth nappies right on the babies face and I potentially reacted a bit much so he is now repeating it… any advice? Assume just no reaction, and move him away? I know it’s not malicious but my god the smirk the 2yo gives when he’s “misbehaving”

I think the best is a monotone response of ‘hitting hurts mummy’ and reminder about gentle hands and why not to hit. We had to introduce time out for ten seconds since she was 11 months old as we have pets so was an absolute no go. I introduced the sign for sorry too

Megatron1298 · Nov 21, 2022

wakametango 2.0 said:
I think the best is a monotone response of ‘hitting hurts mummy’ and reminder about gentle hands and why not to hit. We had to introduce time out for ten seconds since she was 11 months old as we have pets so was an absolute no go. I introduced the sign for sorry too

Thanks I’ll keep trying, so hard to be chill about it! He also terrorises our cat so will need to really make an effort and hope it works
He did come and say sorry (solly mummy 🥹) but ugh it’s so tough in the moment!

jackieweaver’sauthority · Nov 21, 2022

Had a really rough day today. Took me all morning to convince my daughter to get ready and go t preschool. Took 10 minutes in the rain to convince her to go in. Crashed my car while parking (it’s fine was just a scuff but seriously). Picked my daughter up to be told shes not had a wee for the three hours she was there. She proceeds to have a wee accident in the car. Had an ok evening then she had a 45 minute meltdown over various things but the main issues atm is there is spit in her mouth?!

My partner is out for the football and still not home and I need him to come back to get the car seat up the three flights of stairs so I can clean it as I need it in the morning to drop her off at her nan’s so I can have my midwife appt. She’s meant to go to preschool tomorrow afternoon but I’ll be away from her all morning so can’t see that going well.

Her preschool want to have a meeting with us on Friday, because shes not wanting to go in and is struggling there. I’m thinking of pulling her out and trying again when the baby is a few months old or possibly sept next year. She won’t be going to school until sept 2024. So hard to know what to do. I’ve been worrying about her for weeks and only now that the preschool have suggested a meeting is my partner now saying oh it must be bad. Like yeh what have I been saying can’t believe he wanted her to do 5 afternoons a week in jan. She can’t even cope with the two she does.

Jellybean093 · Nov 21, 2022

jackieweaver’sauthority said:
Had a really rough day today. Took me all morning to convince my daughter to get ready and go t preschool. Took 10 minutes in the rain to convince her to go in. Crashed my car while parking (it’s fine was just a scuff but seriously). Picked my daughter up to be told shes not had a wee for the three hours she was there. She proceeds to have a wee accident in the car. Had an ok evening then she had a 45 minute meltdown over various things but the main issues atm is there is spit in her mouth?!

My partner is out for the football and still not home and I need him to come back to get the car seat up the three flights of stairs so I can clean it as I need it in the morning to drop her off at her nan’s so I can have my midwife appt. She’s meant to go to preschool tomorrow afternoon but I’ll be away from her all morning so can’t see that going well.

Her preschool want to have a meeting with us on Friday, because shes not wanting to go in and is struggling there. I’m thinking of pulling her out and trying again when the baby is a few months old or possibly sept next year. She won’t be going to school until sept 2024. So hard to know what to do. I’ve been worrying about her for weeks and only now that the preschool have suggested a meeting is my partner now saying oh it must be bad. Like yeh what have I been saying can’t believe he wanted her to do 5 afternoons a week in jan. She can’t even cope with the two she does.

Can your mum take her to preschool? See if that works? Would it be better to put her in more? Maybe the days she’s doing isn’t enough for her and she needs more days to help her settle? Is she crying the whole time she’s there? Sorry you’re having such a crap time

daffydaffyp · Nov 21, 2022

Hello all can I join you? Baby Daffy is nearly 2 and a wonderfully exhausting whirlwind

SwizzleMalarkey · Nov 21, 2022

My son really struggled going in when he went 3 mornings a week but we found that when he started going 3 full days he settled in so much better. The longer day really suits him.

jackieweaver’sauthority · Nov 21, 2022

Jellybean093 said:
Can your mum take her to preschool? See if that works? Would it be better to put her in more? Maybe the days she’s doing isn’t enough for her and she needs more days to help her settle? Is she crying the whole time she’s there? Sorry you’re having such a crap time

It’s not my mum it’s my partners step mum. She could but I don’t think my daughter would cope well and her behaviour has been awful recently. She has her moments of upset and they can be intense but she hasn’t had a meltdown like that in ages.

I really don’t know. She says she’s lonely without me and she finds it scary. I don’t know if it’s just not the right setting for her. Last week I picked her up and a little girl was at the window and a little boy was really in her face inches away from her face with his hands and face and roaring. Fair play she took it well but that’s not something my daughter can brush off. There were three staff members sat on the table behind them ignoring it and then when another walked past she told him to come away he got a wooden toy and was trying to hit another kid with it.

Im going to see what they say at the meeting but think I might have to find somewhere with less children once the baby is a bit older and she’s more settled.

strawberrysunshine_x · Nov 21, 2022

jackieweaver’sauthority said:
Had a really rough day today. Took me all morning to convince my daughter to get ready and go t preschool. Took 10 minutes in the rain to convince her to go in. Crashed my car while parking (it’s fine was just a scuff but seriously). Picked my daughter up to be told shes not had a wee for the three hours she was there. She proceeds to have a wee accident in the car. Had an ok evening then she had a 45 minute meltdown over various things but the main issues atm is there is spit in her mouth?!

My partner is out for the football and still not home and I need him to come back to get the car seat up the three flights of stairs so I can clean it as I need it in the morning to drop her off at her nan’s so I can have my midwife appt. She’s meant to go to preschool tomorrow afternoon but I’ll be away from her all morning so can’t see that going well.

Her preschool want to have a meeting with us on Friday, because shes not wanting to go in and is struggling there. I’m thinking of pulling her out and trying again when the baby is a few months old or possibly sept next year. She won’t be going to school until sept 2024. So hard to know what to do. I’ve been worrying about her for weeks and only now that the preschool have suggested a meeting is my partner now saying oh it must be bad. Like yeh what have I been saying can’t believe he wanted her to do 5 afternoons a week in jan. She can’t even cope with the two she does.

How long has she been going and how old is she. A lot of kids struggle with it. Mines been going two years next year and still sometimes doesn’t like it when I drop him off. Does she know youre having a baby maybe she is feeling that? I’ve no experience with being pregnant snd having a toddler. but its not unusual for them to react. I’m also not an expert so I don’t know if this is good advice but I’m not sure taking her out would solve the problem as she’ll probs react the same next time. Try not to get worked up about what they might say. They might offer some good tips it isn’t always worse case scenario

jackieweaver’sauthority said:
It’s not my mum it’s my partners step mum. She could but I don’t think my daughter would cope well and her behaviour has been awful recently. She has her moments of upset and they can be intense but she hasn’t had a meltdown like that in ages.

I really don’t know. She says she’s lonely without me and she finds it scary. I don’t know if it’s just not the right setting for her. Last week I picked her up and a little girl was at the window and a little boy was really in her face inches away from her face with his hands and face and roaring. Fair play she took it well but that’s not something my daughter can brush off. There were three staff members sat on the table behind them ignoring it and then when another walked past she told him to come away he got a wooden toy and was trying to hit another kid with it.

Im going to see what they say at the meeting but think I might have to find somewhere with less children once the baby is a bit older and she’s more settled.

Maybe she doesn’t like the certain nursery. My friends son would kick off going into one and they moved him and he was fine . In my other comment I meant don’t stop her going then restart. Moving is always a good option especially if you’re not comfortable with it too

Jellybean093 · Nov 21, 2022

jackieweaver’sauthority said:
It’s not my mum it’s my partners step mum. She could but I don’t think my daughter would cope well and her behaviour has been awful recently. She has her moments of upset and they can be intense but she hasn’t had a meltdown like that in ages.

I really don’t know. She says she’s lonely without me and she finds it scary. I don’t know if it’s just not the right setting for her. Last week I picked her up and a little girl was at the window and a little boy was really in her face inches away from her face with his hands and face and roaring. Fair play she took it well but that’s not something my daughter can brush off. There were three staff members sat on the table behind them ignoring it and then when another walked past she told him to come away he got a wooden toy and was trying to hit another kid with it.

Im going to see what they say at the meeting but think I might have to find somewhere with less children once the baby is a bit older and she’s more settled.

Is something happening to her at nursery? I’ve mentioned it before, not sure what thread, but my eldest, while at school nursery starting strangling me. Spoke to the school, and the same thing was happening to her by a little boy
Also, kids are very tuned in when it comes to new babies. No matter how little they are. When I worked in a nursery, a little boy who was about 18months, probably younger started lashing out on mum and biting her. We were really close and she told me she was pregnant and he started doing all this soon after falling pregnant

Toddler advice thread #3

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