Toddler advice thread #3

[al255]

I’ve had to deal with *so much* of my own food hang ups when they leave perfectly good food. A lot of it comes from my parents and ‘clean your plate’ stuff. I’ve caught my dad trying to force my toddler to eat food in a certain order (meat first), and had to have a word with him.

Here’s what we tend to do:
* always serve a safe food that we know they’ll eat: bread, a veg they eat, fruit
* new food in small quantities for my own sanity & not to overwhelm them
* chill the duck out about what they’re actually eating
* we’ve just introduced stricter snack times, they were going rogue with snacks and I think ruining their meal time appetite. We’re now following the same snack timings as nursery.
* what we serve for meals is what we’re having, nothing else.

We have good days and bad days, learning to trust that they know when & what they want to eat is a challenge for me, but they need autonomy & food is one of their biggest cards to play.

I was about to type about her snacks. She came back from her Dads and I didn’t give her anything between half 2 and 5pm apart from an apple and she ate 90% of her tea, she had stuff she liked but I also told her before I put her plate down she wasn’t getting anything else and she said “ok mummy eat all of it” and she only left 3 pieces of pasta.

She isn’t like this anywhere else and the only person to blame for it is me I’ve enabled her to say no to her meals and she will get another one. (This is just for me though, I’m not in anyway saying other people have made thier kids fussy, hope this doesn’t come across as the wrong way)

 

[Jellybean093]

My nursery has done similar things when he was on packed lunch if he didn’t eat his sandwich or fruit they wouldn’t let him have his crisps or biscuits so sometimes he never had anything for lunch. He’s on school dinners now cos he was always starving and dropping weight if I make him a picnic he more often than not eats the biscuit or sweet thing first

I was brought up to eat the sandwich first and then everything else. I kind of instilled that in my first 2, but why, I don’t know?! With the other 2, I stick everything in their plate for lunch, and it mostly gets eaten

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I was brought up to eat the sandwich first and then everything else. I kind of instilled that in my first 2, but why, I don’t know?! With the other 2, I stick everything in their plate for lunch, and it mostly gets eaten

As long as he eats it I’m not really bothered what order he eats it in. I’ve said on here before my parents were really strict with me but I’m not at all. For a picnic he’ll have a cheese or jam sandwich , dunkers, half a packet of crisps , a biscuit , yoghurt and then grapes / raspberries and strawberries. Sometimes banana as well and he usually eats the biscuit and then the yoghurt then crisps and then his sandwich . And he usually eats all his tea including his veg and at nursery they say he eats everything.

 

[Jellybean093]

As long as he eats it I’m not really bothered what order he eats it in. I’ve said on here before my parents were really strict with me but I’m not at all. For a picnic he’ll have a cheese or jam sandwich , dunkers, half a packet of crisps , a biscuit , yoghurt and then grapes / raspberries and strawberries. Sometimes banana as well and he usually eats the biscuit and then the yoghurt then crisps and then his sandwich . And he usually eats all his tea including his veg and at nursery they say he eats everything.

Yer, I’m definitely less bothered about lunch time. I think the thing with dinner is there’s such a long gap between dinner and breakfast. I think I’m just going to have to let this one go rouge, and hope he starts to enjoy food again! He did ask for carrots with his dinner, which I gave him, but because they weren’t cooked, he wasn’t interested

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yer, I’m definitely less bothered about lunch time. I think the thing with dinner is there’s such a long gap between dinner and breakfast. I think I’m just going to have to let this one go rouge, and hope he starts to enjoy food again! He did ask for carrots with his dinner, which I gave him, but because they weren’t cooked, he wasn’t interested

It’s so hard work. Sometimes mine will eat carrots but then next time he won’t and he’ll just have peas . I just always think if they are that hungry they’ll eat it. I’d just give them a piece of toast if he doesn’t eat it so you’re not worrying he’s gonna be starving overnight

 

[Jellybean093]

It’s so hard work. Sometimes mine will eat carrots but then next time he won’t and he’ll just have peas . I just always think if they are that hungry they’ll eat it. I’d just give them a piece of toast if he doesn’t eat it so you’re not worrying he’s gonna be starving overnight

13 years of parenthood, and I’m throwing in the towel. I can’t take the stress

Going to take everything on board and hope for the best! Thank you!!

 

[Definitelyme]

Oh yes one teacher at the school also told them they had to eat their “main” food (sandwich etc) first before anything else.
Why?! If I’ve packed it, he can eat it. Why does the order matter?!
But my 7yo is suuuchhhhhh a stickler for the rules. If his teacher says you do x then y he will never, not even once, think about doing y first.
She told them this year they should only eat one thing for break. I always send two things (fruit and a carb). And he absolutely will not disobey this random rule, no matter how many times I’ve told him it’s ok.

 

[PillowsofFluff]

We are having so much trouble with food and my 3 year old so good to know we aren't alone. When I weaned her I gave her absolutely everything. Fish stew, Asian stir fries, all sorts of pasta dishes. Now, she eats nothing. If it isn't chocolate or a Babybel, she won't touch it. And I honestly just feel like I must have gone wrong somewhere, but I don't know where? She's just got super fussy out of nowhere.
Anyway, mini Pillows is ill again, another cold/flu type thing and now hasn't eaten at all for 2 days, so I am freaking out. I have major anxiety when it comes to her eating, I panic that she'll become malnourished if all she eats is Babybels and party rings for the rest of her life.

I would just love us to go a whole month without a trip to the out of hours doctor or A&E

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

We are having so much trouble with food and my 3 year old so good to know we aren't alone. When I weaned her I gave her absolutely everything. Fish stew, Asian stir fries, all sorts of pasta dishes. Now, she eats nothing. If it isn't chocolate or a Babybel, she won't touch it. And I honestly just feel like I must have gone wrong somewhere, but I don't know where? She's just got super fussy out of nowhere.
Anyway, mini Pillows is ill again, another cold/flu type thing and now hasn't eaten at all for 2 days, so I am freaking out. I have major anxiety when it comes to her eating, I panic that she'll become malnourished if all she eats is Babybels and party rings for the rest of her life.

I would just love us to go a whole month without a trip to the out of hours doctor or A&E

Do you give her vitamins? Mine has the liquid ones. That way you might not worry about her being malnourished. It’s so hard isn’t it. I don’t know many 3 year olds that aren’t fussy. It just happens. My niece us 6 and she used to eat absolutely everything. And now she’s so fussy. I’d just keep at it with different things. Will she eat pasta? You can get those sauces with hidden veg. Or make them yourself. Asda do carrot and something else waffles as well. Even beans on toast is better than nothing . I know the feeling about constantly being unwell. It’s a bleeper

 

[watermelon sugar]

toddlers make me laugh. my kid is the fussiest so and so on the planet. he had corn beef hash at nursery today. if i made corn beef hash he would have thrown a witch fit but at nursery it’s ok

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

toddlers make me laugh. my kid is the fussiest so and so on the planet. he had corn beef hash at nursery today. if i made corn beef hash he would have thrown a witch fit but at nursery it’s ok

This is mine as well. I made him a. Jacket potato with cheese and beans once. Didn’t want it. Wouldn’t touch it at all. He eats them on Tuesdays at nursery now

 

[Jellybean093]

3yo came home with a sticker for eating all of his lunch today

 

[watermelon sugar]

3yo came home with a sticker for eating all of his lunch today

same ! does he eat all his lunch for me though? does he rit

 

[Definitelyme]

3yo came home with a sticker for eating all of his lunch today

Someone reading tattle thought “oh that actually sounds like a good idea!”

 

[Jellybean093]

Someone reading tattle thought “oh that actually sounds like a good idea!”

Not even the bloody lunch I’m worried about!

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Do you give her vitamins? Mine has the liquid ones. That way you might not worry about her being malnourished. It’s so hard isn’t it. I don’t know many 3 year olds that aren’t fussy. It just happens. My niece us 6 and she used to eat absolutely everything. And now she’s so fussy. I’d just keep at it with different things. Will she eat pasta? You can get those sauces with hidden veg. Or make them yourself. Asda do carrot and something else waffles as well. Even beans on toast is better than nothing . I know the feeling about constantly being unwell. It’s a bleeper

I don't, but perhaps I should! I did buy some chewable multivits from Tesco, she tried one and didn't really like it, perhaps I should have forked our more on the jelly type ones, she's probably have eaten it
Annoyingly she won't eat pasta any more. Beans on toast used to be fave, but in the last couple of weeks she's stopped eating beans? Hoping it's just a phase!

Today she's had a couple of spoonfuls of cereal, a chocolate mini roll, a dairylea dunker, a babybel, a pot of Hartleys jelly, some hula hoops and an ice lolly. Oh and some pizza from my plate, despite claiming to hate pizza! I know there's no fruit or veg (I did offer but was rejected) but she's got a stinking cold so I'm just trying to keep her hydrated (hence the jelly and lolly) and just try and get some food in her. Also loads of milk as it's what I'm hiding the amoxicillin in for her ear infection

Cute little story: she asked me this morning where the cat was, so I told her: up on my bed asleep. She toddles off upstairs. I go to find her ten minutes later or so (I'm fairly relaxed about letting her do what she wants around the house as it's only small and I can hear her from pretty much every room) and she's on my bed next to the cat. She's brought her Tonie box through with Fireman Sam and is wrapping the cat in a tea towel and 'putting him to bed Mummy'

 

[Kit123]

I find my two year old is fussy at home but eats really well at nursery. I believe it's because she's with the other kids and sees them eat so probably encourages her to eat. I mean we do have our mealtimes together but maybe she sees it differently at nursery?
The same with naps, she won't nap at home unless she is literally dropping down with exhaustion at like 4pm (great time!) However, will nap at at normal time at nursery no problem. I know the staff put them all down at the time after lunch though so I think that helps!
Or she just likes to play me up

 

[Jellybean093]

I don't, but perhaps I should! I did buy some chewable multivits from Tesco, she tried one and didn't really like it, perhaps I should have forked our more on the jelly type ones, she's probably have eaten it
Annoyingly she won't eat pasta any more. Beans on toast used to be fave, but in the last couple of weeks she's stopped eating beans? Hoping it's just a phase!

Today she's had a couple of spoonfuls of cereal, a chocolate mini roll, a dairylea dunker, a babybel, a pot of Hartleys jelly, some hula hoops and an ice lolly. Oh and some pizza from my plate, despite claiming to hate pizza! I know there's no fruit or veg (I did offer but was rejected) but she's got a stinking cold so I'm just trying to keep her hydrated (hence the jelly and lolly) and just try and get some food in her. Also loads of milk as it's what I'm hiding the amoxicillin in for her ear infection

Cute little story: she asked me this morning where the cat was, so I told her: up on my bed asleep. She toddles off upstairs. I go to find her ten minutes later or so (I'm fairly relaxed about letting her do what she wants around the house as it's only small and I can hear her from pretty much every room) and she's on my bed next to the cat. She's brought her Tonie box through with Fireman Sam and is wrapping the cat in a tea towel and 'putting him to bed Mummy'

I could’ve written all of this. Apart from the cat bit. He doesn’t take notice of our cat, but we are also relaxed about him having free reign of the house (apart from certain bedrooms)
I said to him earlier ‘daddys home’ and he was like ‘ah, I love daddy’
His nursery teacher also told me about the massive poo he had a school. Honestly, not sure how it comes out of him

 

[Hairraiser]

Struggling also with my toddlers eating. He’s 2 in March! He had his first lunch at nursery today, he ate the jelly & banana but not the main. He tried it but spat it out! I’m just pleased he tried it tbh.
when he’s at home he doesn’t eat a full meal, he’ll snack throughout the day, but occasionally he’ll surprise me and attempt a meal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him finish a whole plate though.
when I weaned him he was offered everything, so what we give him now shouldn’t be new to him but it certainly feels like it.
Is it normal for him to spit food out? He willingly opens his mouth when I put the fork in his mouth but then spits it out, almost like it’s a game?
he was born premature so he’s a petite baby already, but I do worry a lot about him being underweight.
And his sleep is so bad. One night he falls asleep nicely & right through with no wake ups. Then the next night he’s fighting sleep and when we finally do get him to sleep he’s awake every couple of hours ! I have to take him out in the car to get him to sleep sometimes & I don’t like doing it too often cause he relies on it!
Anyone else do this? I feel like I’m a failure when I can’t even get my son to sleep or eat!

 

[squatternutbosh]

Struggling also with my toddlers eating. He’s 2 in March! He had his first lunch at nursery today, he ate the jelly & banana but not the main. He tried it but spat it out! I’m just pleased he tried it tbh.
when he’s at home he doesn’t eat a full meal, he’ll snack throughout the day, but occasionally he’ll surprise me and attempt a meal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him finish a whole plate though.
when I weaned him he was offered everything, so what we give him now shouldn’t be new to him but it certainly feels like it.
Is it normal for him to spit food out? He willingly opens his mouth when I put the fork in his mouth but then spits it out, almost like it’s a game?
he was born premature so he’s a petite baby already, but I do worry a lot about him being underweight.
And his sleep is so bad. One night he falls asleep nicely & right through with no wake ups. Then the next night he’s fighting sleep and when we finally do get him to sleep he’s awake every couple of hours ! I have to take him out in the car to get him to sleep sometimes & I don’t like doing it too often cause he relies on it!
Anyone else do this? I feel like I’m a failure when I can’t even get my son to sleep or eat!

The first year of life food should be supplementary, and milk should be his main source of nutrition.
my lo is a preemie too and she didn’t sleep through the night until she was 2.5!
I know it sounds cliche, but everything is a phase, and I went through these exact worries. Let your child guide u, children can tell when u r tense or agitated around mealtimes. There r some great accounts on insta, I follow Biglittlefeelings as I really appreciate their chilled approach to all things children. They give really nuanced and logical advice.
If ur worried about weight, just make sure he doesn’t fall down percentile lines, and in the meantime Google how u can add extra fats into his meals to help with the weight gain.
Also bear in mind being at nursery is a big change for children and it can take time to settle. My lo barely ate there so I had to send a packed lunch most days.
you got this!