The #tradwife movement

[rainbowlemon]

An aside : I know a couple of Tradwives. What puzzles me is that they enthusiastically extol the virtues of the role.....yet they are pushing their daughters hard to achieve academical,y.

As long as their not like the US Duggar and Bates families who only see marriage and being mothers, I don't see the harm in it personally.

Pushing the daughters is giving them the ability to choose later and have options in the future.

 

[lipsticktaser]

I’m from a working class family. My nana worked, her mum worked. They had scores of kids and couldn’t afford not too. My nana would go do a cleaning shift in the hotels when my grandad was home from work.
I’m a SAHM. My daughter is in P7. If we need the money I’ll go back part time. Maybe nights somewhere. But it won’t be a career.
I get lonely, don’t get taken seriously because I don’t work. BUT my daughter is happy. She is thriving as a child. There is no way we could keep up with her clubs and extra time with homework (she is dyslexic and has dyscalculia) if we were both at work. I think when you’re doing it all there are loads of compromises. I compromised it’s my career but it’s worth it for me.
I don’t think of myself as a trad wife. But if that makes her happy more power too her.
We’re all just trying to do the best by our kids.

 

[EllenDeGenerate]

As long as their not like the US Duggar and Bates families who only see marriage and being mothers, I don't see the harm in it personally.

Pushing the daughters is giving them the ability to choose later and have options in the future.

If I'm being honest, I'd say its more so they can mix in higher-echelon-circles, and bag a wealthy guy.

 

[Grenouille]

but feel the years are passing me by with very little to show for it.

Oh but you have I bet your little one has been very happy to have a parent at home

 

[thegirlscout]

it was a silly storm in a (vintage) teacup but upset me for a long time. She attacked something I said on another members page and kept posting about it. I suggested we keep our differences away from this post and discuss it through DM. I also apologised to the member whose post it was in. Next thing I was blocked by her (no real problem there as I’d never met her before) but also by the rest of her social 40s circle.

As said, storm in a teacup but I was a bit taken aback because while I was tactless in the comment I made it wasn’t deserving of the attack I got back.

Googling her and watching her videos I think she can get quite aggressive in her responses.
The world really isn’t out to get you for being a SAHM Alena.

Since you apologised I’m not sure why she felt the need to keep bringing it up - not really treating people with grace is it? And I’m sorry to hear that her circle of friends blocked you too - reminds me of school girl behaviour. Though I don’t think she’s friends with them anymore.
I find Alena quite an odd person, I can’t seem to work her out. She doesn’t seem to be fulfilled being a SAHM which is fine but she’s based her who personality around it.

 

[EllenDeGenerate]

An aside : I know a couple of Tradwives. What puzzles me is that they enthusiastically extol the virtues of the role.....yet they are pushing their daughters hard to achieve academical,y.

 

[thegirlscout]

she has built her brand and personality trait of Britishness.

That’s what I meant! I didn’t mean she was an actual traitor which is how she and her ladies took it. She’s just so British in everything she does (even though I know she has Danish heritage).

 

[Satisfying Click]

I've just read that Alena has ended up in Australia. Lots of God showing them the way, but also, her husband used to live in Sydney and was ready to move back to Aus years ago.

She claims that someone on the internet shared where she lived in a gossip forum which shook her to the core, but not enough, apparently, as she shared a photograph of what the front of her house looks like.

Pulling absolutely no punches about the fake Instagram friends who ditched her

I'm more sad that she parted with the Beryl. Her entire brand has been buy British/dig for victory/hearth and home/Englishness but the hubby, I mean, God, had other plans.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

I don't begrudge her choice to devote herself to her household and family, but the idea of women staying at home as being traditional, is actually fairly recent (I think Lucy Worsley did a good piece on how families changed as the Industrial Revolution took off).

Yes and perpetuated by massive ad campaigns in the 1950s to sell fridges - a bit like how Coca Cola invented/influenced the modern (read ‘traditional’) concept of Santa. It’s all to sell us stuff, but has seeped so deep into the collective psyche and through generations that we’ve forgotten.

 

[DaisyDeluxe]

It's an interesting discussion point and somewhat relative to me right now as I feel at a bit of a crossroads. Like others here, I'm a stay at home mum, but I wouldn't say I'm a "tradwife". We're fortunate that my husband earns well enough to support the family without me having to work (that said, we have no free family childcare, so any wage would simply pay nurseries). I've been at home for nearly 4.5 years, two children, and feeling that I'd love to be able to go to work to have adult conversation, stimulation and something of a life outside the house. But I'm wrestling with the fact that my children will be at nursery the whole time, my eldest starting school this year, and perhaps I should continue to stay at home to help him settle in school. I feel there are many benefits to being at home for my children as lipsticktaser says and I'm in a position to be able to do that. But the trade off is the lack of career, I want my children to see a positive work ethic at home to inspire them. I feel like I've given my children everything these last few years and its time to get something back for me. But I am struggling with leaving them in childcare as often.

I believe you can do anything - but not everything, and I think that goes for men and women, there has to be a trade off whatever you choose to do.

 

[puzzled instagrammer]

What did she do to you? I don’t think it’s been confirmed she’s moved to the States, unless I’m missing something

it was a silly storm in a (vintage) teacup but upset me for a long time. She attacked something I said on another members page and kept posting about it. I suggested we keep our differences away from this post and discuss it through DM. I also apologised to the member whose post it was in. Next thing I was blocked by her (no real problem there as I’d never met her before) but also by the rest of her social 40s circle.

As said, storm in a teacup but I was a bit taken aback because while I was tactless in the comment I made it wasn’t deserving of the attack I got back.

Googling her and watching her videos I think she can get quite aggressive in her responses.
The world really isn’t out to get you for being a SAHM Alena.

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

Alena was one of the main UK trad wives who were very vocal about it on tv in the UK to be fair about 10 years ago now, but she had a fairly big online presence until she left instagram earlier this year. Don’t think she’s in this doc.

I will be watching though. Sounds interesting

 

[rainbowlemon]

teapotsandtablecloths, rememberingtheoldways

I follow them both too. I love old stuff in general.

 

[Iamintherealworld]

Since you apologised I’m not sure why she felt the need to keep bringing it up - not really treating people with grace is it? And I’m sorry to hear that her circle of friends blocked you too - reminds me of school girl behaviour. Though I don’t think she’s friends with them anymore.
I find Alena quite an odd person, I can’t seem to work her out. She doesn’t seem to be fulfilled being a SAHM which is fine but she’s based her who personality around it.

To me Alena is a woman that will never be truly happy. Will go through life wanting xyz, getting it and then never really happy. She was certainly very different to the other three Bleinham ladies. They are genuine to their interest and it is their life. Alena is all about status, materialism - Fairfax £££ boots going to nice restaurants, having a lot of attention from her husband. Childlike,..seeing this behaviour from her just screamed narcissist.

 

[SeaWitch]

Oh but you have I bet your little one has been very happy to have a parent at home

It’ll mean sweet fa if my husband leaves me/dies and I can’t put a roof over our heads though.
(I have to laugh otherwise I’ll cry)

 

[Petulant_vlogger]

i Don’t submit either. Though having researched into it, it’s more in religious circles that “submission” is expected, mainly in the US. I like taking care of my family but being at home all the time, I’m the one managing everything if I’m honest!

I completely agree! I organise everyone's schedules, what they're going to wear, a lot of budgeting stuff. I'd definitely say that I'm the boss at home! Sounds like you're the same

 

[Anasnake]

Watched the doc with my gcse class (all girls) when doing gender equality - they were horrified

 

[Blurp]

This American tradwife popped up in my feed recently. It’s all very idealistic but heaps of people following so I’m obviously missing something.

I think a lot of her attitude is based on religion as she was home schooled and their introduction was arranged (I follow her too). However, she did have her own successful wedding photography business before she became ill and is open that she can only do one thing on certain days. She also has a small business reselling secondhand cottage core clothes. Very much a religious tradwife appealing to those wanting to learn traditional skills like preserving.

On the UK side of things, my mother was a housewife from 1948 onwards, frequently in some dodgy places (such as taking a boat downriver for shopping only to find a revolution going on!). Unlike Alena, she never had an 'allowance'. From day one they had a joint account and my mother held any cash from the time they met in 1943. It was a family joke that Dad would go up to the bar to order drinks and come scuttling back to get money off Mum. She also gave him 'pocket money' to go out .

 

[Anasnake]

 

[puzzled instagrammer]

I've just read that Alena has ended up in Australia. Lots of God showing them the way, but also, her husband used to live in Sydney and was ready to move back to Aus years ago.

She claims that someone on the internet shared where she lived in a gossip forum which shook her to the core, but not enough, apparently, as she shared a photograph of what the front of her house looks like.

Pulling absolutely no punches about the fake Instagram friends who ditched her

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I'm more sad that she parted with the Beryl. Her entire brand has been buy British/dig for victory/hearth and home/Englishness but the hubby, I mean, God, had other plans.

She didn’t hold back, did she.

I wouldn’t be sad about the Beryl. It isn't really popular in Australia so better to have left it in the UK where it will be appreciated.