Congrats to @Quasimodo for another thread title win with a landslide 90 votes! But is it accurate anymore? Trackers were without both children at a Disney outlet store. Apparently they are trading in the tetanus pans for Factor microwave meals. Somebody else an expand on the recap if they want to.
- Status
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Continued from the previous thread after the new title link:
The Oriental Land Company does.
(The Oriental Land Company (a subsidiary of the Keisei Electric Railway Company) under a license from The Walt Disney Company, which constructed and designed the resort and its various attractions.)
@2020planner said:
I know I've said it before, but with these bleeping live streamers raking in $$$ while streaming in the parks, how the hell is that any different than if I set up a bleeping lemonade stand on Main Street? There's an exchange of money for goods (in this case, the live stream itself) on another entity's private property. I've NEVER understood how they were OK with live streaming. It should have been banned the moment it started.
@Snippysnips replied:
Exactly an how BLAB didn't get a outright permanent ban when they physically took money from a fan on grounds is beyond me, it's bad enough they make money from live streaming but to film getting money is shocking
I hope it fks them all up because there is no way any of them can fully survive on none park vlogs, they might think their crappy home vlogs are enough but that's only because they are throwing in park vlogs an those are keeping them a float, without park vlogs they are all done an am here for it, no more running to buy tickets for the 40th time so they can film it while someone else misses out.
FYI - The Walt Disney Company does not own Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo Disney Seas.
The Oriental Land Company does.
(The Oriental Land Company (a subsidiary of the Keisei Electric Railway Company) under a license from The Walt Disney Company, which constructed and designed the resort and its various attractions.)
@2020planner said:
I know I've said it before, but with these bleeping live streamers raking in $$$ while streaming in the parks, how the hell is that any different than if I set up a bleeping lemonade stand on Main Street? There's an exchange of money for goods (in this case, the live stream itself) on another entity's private property. I've NEVER understood how they were OK with live streaming. It should have been banned the moment it started.
@Snippysnips replied:
Exactly an how BLAB didn't get a outright permanent ban when they physically took money from a fan on grounds is beyond me, it's bad enough they make money from live streaming but to film getting money is shocking
I hope it fks them all up because there is no way any of them can fully survive on none park vlogs, they might think their crappy home vlogs are enough but that's only because they are throwing in park vlogs an those are keeping them a float, without park vlogs they are all done an am here for it, no more running to buy tickets for the 40th time so they can film it while someone else misses out.
Okay, this recap is probably nowhere near going to be good as the past one but here are the highlights of what you missed in the Tracker-verse in the last thread
TLDR: Same tit, sans/maybe new nanny
Longer Recap:
The Bored Walk misadventures continue. Dim and DJ continue to show that they are bad at their jobs by not planning and failing at their own quick service challenge. OG apparently keeps them from leaving the resort. Jenn bemoans about possibly missing breakfast while eating her first breakfast. In addition to having two breakfasts, they also let Jackson have two desserts back to back and didn't mention that he was a wild child like usual. We were also reminded that Jaxy's favorite color is pink and purple when he was clearly looking at the green bike. Of course, Dim was the one who had to do all the peddling when they rode said bike. It's probably the most exercise he's gotten since he and Dick narrowly avoided getting swept a few months back. The adventures end with a review of their trip where Jenn pretty much mentions that they fucked up while backtracking on her erroneous claims that they visited every resort. Prepare for a complain fest when they go to the value resort and for her to be yacht clubbing it up.
We were also treated to a weird outlet mall video that was filmed over two days because the line was long. They managed to stuff their faces with Friendly's during one of these trips. It's possible that they got a new nanny since on the second trip Ollie was nowhere in sight.
During the podcast known as It's Better Than Staring at the Wall, I guess. Dick's anxiety of the week is starting a new job and Dim let's it slip that Jenn is likely going to go a cruise all by herself. This thread was worried about her welfare since she makes it appear that the only thing she can do efficiently is eat. I personally have faith that she'll be able to smell her way to the buffet okay or use room service. They make have to help roll her out of her suite though. Other Better Than Staring at the Wall highlights include Dick crying about the meanies who point out that he looks like a humanoid rat who exploits his kids for attention. Everyone rolled their eyes.
Finally, a home vlog was posted where Jenn has given up on the tetanus pans and is living that microwave life-products are high fat so we'll see how that goes. She also believes that the baby will get bird flu from cow's milk but eating cheese is a-okay. And of course we are reminded that J$ favorite colors are pink and purple again. Also, overall watch is on. Will the overalls just become a part of Jenn or have the same fate as the jorts/Bronco shirt/Dolly Parton shirt/St. Thomas collection
Other non-Tracker but Tracker-ish highlights include maybe a ban of grifters at Disney Land. A girl can only hope.
TLDR: Same tit, sans/maybe new nanny
Longer Recap:
The Bored Walk misadventures continue. Dim and DJ continue to show that they are bad at their jobs by not planning and failing at their own quick service challenge. OG apparently keeps them from leaving the resort. Jenn bemoans about possibly missing breakfast while eating her first breakfast. In addition to having two breakfasts, they also let Jackson have two desserts back to back and didn't mention that he was a wild child like usual. We were also reminded that Jaxy's favorite color is pink and purple when he was clearly looking at the green bike. Of course, Dim was the one who had to do all the peddling when they rode said bike. It's probably the most exercise he's gotten since he and Dick narrowly avoided getting swept a few months back. The adventures end with a review of their trip where Jenn pretty much mentions that they fucked up while backtracking on her erroneous claims that they visited every resort. Prepare for a complain fest when they go to the value resort and for her to be yacht clubbing it up.
We were also treated to a weird outlet mall video that was filmed over two days because the line was long. They managed to stuff their faces with Friendly's during one of these trips. It's possible that they got a new nanny since on the second trip Ollie was nowhere in sight.
During the podcast known as It's Better Than Staring at the Wall, I guess. Dick's anxiety of the week is starting a new job and Dim let's it slip that Jenn is likely going to go a cruise all by herself. This thread was worried about her welfare since she makes it appear that the only thing she can do efficiently is eat. I personally have faith that she'll be able to smell her way to the buffet okay or use room service. They make have to help roll her out of her suite though. Other Better Than Staring at the Wall highlights include Dick crying about the meanies who point out that he looks like a humanoid rat who exploits his kids for attention. Everyone rolled their eyes.
Finally, a home vlog was posted where Jenn has given up on the tetanus pans and is living that microwave life-products are high fat so we'll see how that goes. She also believes that the baby will get bird flu from cow's milk but eating cheese is a-okay. And of course we are reminded that J$ favorite colors are pink and purple again. Also, overall watch is on. Will the overalls just become a part of Jenn or have the same fate as the jorts/Bronco shirt/Dolly Parton shirt/St. Thomas collection
Other non-Tracker but Tracker-ish highlights include maybe a ban of grifters at Disney Land. A girl can only hope.
Off topic but we all know the ogre always wanted a daughter, do y'all think they'd try a third time? IIRC the more of one gender child you have, the higher chance the next child will be the same gender
I hope not. We've speculated about it a lot on here. She could do IVF which could up her chances of having a girl a little but I'm hoping due to their propensity to being cheap when it comes to their kids and that high deductible she won't. Dim supposedly is going to get snipped but I don't see that happening so an oopsie baby could still loom. However, hope springs eternal since she's getting older and heavier she isn't as much as a fertile myrtle anymore. It's doubtful that they'd adopt because Dim has
So, you know how there's a "Are Pubsubs on sale?" twitter account? Where they post daily whether pubsubs are on sale or not... Do we need to make one for "Is Jenn Tracker wearing her shorteralls?" I can't believe how often she's wearing them these days. They are absolutely not being washed between wears.
I used to post a lot back in the day, but med school has been....a lot. Thanks! I hope they don't, I can't imagine the kind of intense therapy a daughter of ogre and Dim would need.
Tick Tock, Tim!Only 106 days till the Disneyland Half Marathon races start.
Can’t wait to see you run the 10K and Half Marathon in conservative days.
That’s 6.2 miles Saturday and 13.2 miles Sunday.
A total of 19.3 miles for a guy that doesn’t appear to be getting his mile training in.
I'm waiting to see what excuse he uses not to go. My guess is he's going to say they let J$ decide whether he was going to run or not and he'd rather stay at the hotel and eat breakfast.
Only 106 days till the Disneyland Half Marathon races start.
Can’t wait to see you run the 10K and Half Marathon in conservative days.
That’s 6.2 miles Saturday and 13.2 miles Sunday.
A total of 19.3 miles for a guy that doesn’t appear to be getting his mile training in.
TTT 176: We Let Butters Decide
I don't think so, I think da baby was her trying for a girl, if she had known it was going be another boy she wouldn't have bothered, I think they both know they can't handle 3 kids, they struggle at two an now those kids because of them have problems that's starting to interfere with their lives, she's not going risk a 3rd which could be another boy that will end up with even more problems they need to half ass deal with
I also hate when people have girls thinking they are going have the girly girl lifestyle as well, not every girl is going accept dresses an bows or going shopping an spas etc, at most you will get to age 3 possible 4 before they will decided for themselves
I totally get that being a stay at home mom is a challenging and underappreciated job, but Ogre seriously just does nothing all day. Yeah, things get messy and some stuff falls to the wayside, but having a disgusting house, subscribing to a microwave meal service, all while one kid's in school AND you were getting the help of a nanny until recently? There's no reason for her to seem so overwhelmed. There are single moms who work full time and still manage to keep it together. No excuse
I’m wondering if the no more ‘cooking’ was a trade off for her starting to drive again. She can’t do it all, she’s not superwoman, she has two kids, you guyzzzzz
Channels I watch much smaller than Tim Tracker have Factor sponsorships. So unless Factor is full up on sponsorships I would expect that in a video soon.
If Jenn really is driving thank goodness she's not trying to vlog while driving.
If Jenn really is driving thank goodness she's not trying to vlog while driving.
There was a lot to unpack over the last week or so, so put on your finest potato sack overalls, pour yourself an extra large Corkcicle of Vanderpump Rosé, and great ready for the greatest reality show off-Bravo.
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
Part 1/2
We join our ragtag bunch on Day 2 of their Disney’s Boardwalk Resort staycation, which continues to usher in a new era of austerity for the Tracker clan. Cast out of their ivory tower of Grand Villa opulence, the Trackers are now forced to confront how the other half live: in a ground-floor standard room, subsisting on a Quick-Service Dining Plan. Within the first thirty seconds of the video, Tim complains about the noise caused by Disney’s non-electric “lawn leaf blowers”. The Trackers continue their piss-poor time management and a typically late breakfast at Beach Club is cause for the day’s next barrage of complaints as the straightforward regulations of the dining plan continue to flummox our protagonists. Dim cynically describes the breakfast fare as “typical”, despite choosing the exact same “Bounty Platter” pile of Disneyfied grease he unimaginatively ingests without fail. Jenn the Genius, after first complaining that the more conveniently located Boardwalk Deli only offered a paltry selection of breakfast sandwiches, curiously decides to plump for a sugar-infused “Hotcake Sandwich” after waddling all the way over to Beach Club. This proved to be a fatal mistake as the saccharine calorie bomb did not meet Her Royal Heaviness’ exacting standards, and the unfortunate Cast Member who recommended it was underhandedly blamed throughout the rest of Jenn’s multiple bitching sessions.
After eating their fill (except for Oliver, who was given meagre scraps), the Bojos are finally ready to begin their day at the bright and early hour of 11:30am – nearly lunchtime, a meal which Tim amusingly suggests they might actually skip! Of course, this meant it was already time for Oliver’s first forced nap of the day. The Trackers take a break to again complain about the inconvenient location of their room, whilst Jenn recounts her entitled haranguing of a Cast Member who was unable to provide an adequate list of locations of Coke Freestyle machines when prompted. Dim wonders aloud if Coney Island and the Jersey Shore “are the same thing”. Jenn and Oliver slumber in the pleb room whilst Tim and Jackson hit up the Keister Coaster in the pool area. Tim complains that the slide is not smooth enough for his delicate booty butt, though Jackson’s opinion seems much more positive, given his hand flapping and awkward dancing. An oil slick which rivals the wake of the Exxon Valdez forms after Jenn arrives to degrease herself in the communal pool. Da Baby is quickly handed off to Dim whilst the hippomom gleefully frolics in the chlorinated waters with nary a care in the world. Jackson is placated with a Mickey pretzel and a sugary mocktail but an eagle-eyed Tattler spots a JTech GuestCall IQ pager on the table. Busted! The Trackholes ordered poolside lunch for themselves but sneakily chose to omit this incriminating fact in their voog. The Slackers kill a bit of time by dropping a quick fifty bucks on a DIY tie dye t-shirt experience. Dim reminds us they want to do a Surrey bike, but tempers expectations with the caveat that “it’s getting awfully close to dinner time”.
Back in the room, Dim continues his skilful video tutorial on how to get the least amount of value out of a Disney dining plan as he informs us that the family have opted to splurge out of pocket on a Signature Dining experience at the nearby Flying Fish. The Bojos bless the upscale establishment with a heaping helping of Florida trailer park chic as they decide to forgo the pesky formal dress code and barge in donning their finest 3am-Walmart-run attire. Our greedy grifters gorge themselves on a lavish spread of posh starters, rich mains, and deluxe deserts – Jenn even treats herself to a very cheeky pint which somehow escapes her mention! Unfortunately, Oliver’s carrots were not cooked to Jenn’s precise instructions which casts a cloud of disappointment over proceedings.
The Trackholes next waddle over to the lawn and gawk at the families who have gathered for the showing of a mystery film. Jenn stupidly pontificates on what the secret selection could possibly be, adding that she is “very curious, very invested”. Absolute shocker: they do not return with their children to enjoy the film together as a family. Instead, they do what Clan Tracker does best: put their unbridled gluttony on public display, this time at Boardwalk Ice Cream. In Round 2 of desserts, Jackson is allotted a scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cup whilst Dim springs for a massive Thundering Surf peanut butter sundae. Dim sneaks in one final whinge about the bottleneck around the frustratingly still not yet open Blue Ribbon Corn Dogs. The video ends with the second day in a row of an outro recorded ex post facto, with Dim supplying the dubious line that the whole family “just went straight to sleep” upon entering their room. Of course, the astute viewer knows that without a nanny to pass the dreaded offspring off to, the Trackers are unable to properly control their kids for even the minimal amount of time to force smiles and pretend they had a great day on camera. Jenn sagely advises us that “sometimes when you’re on, like, your long Disney vacation, having resort days are[sic] really important”. Wise words indeed.
Day 3 of the doomed staycation kicks off most appropriately, as Grifter #1 and Grifter #2 show their continued lack of basic parental instincts, force laughing their way through an awkward intro where they announce it’s Mother’s Day and then, realising there is no mother present in the room, quickly drop the topic. At this point, does Jackson a) go through the motions and warmly wish his egg donor a happy Mother’s Day, or b) obnoxiously scream a barely coherent demand for a lollipop? If you’re reading this, you already know the answer.
Jenn has hatched a plan to head to Pop Century in Epcot for breakfast as it’s “on the Skyliner [..] and also they have a lot of options” in a half-assed attempt to at least salvage something from their remaining dining credits. However, the Snackers are powerless to resist the magnetic pull of main lobby Carousel Coffee, slavishly shuffling in whilst Jackson runs amok and fingers the merch like a seasoned pro. Snack credits are redeemed for coffees and a sugary cereal pre-breakfast treat for Jackson. Back in the lobby, Jenn feels the need to address the camera and derides the experience at Carousel as most uncuntierge, as she patronisingly complains that the Cast Member who didn’t get her order right “had to like do it a few times” before it finally met her approval. Dim sheepishly grins like a beta idiot as Jenn instructs her viewers to “go somewhere else”, her fake laughter unable to mask her condensation and disdain.
The Trackers’ precious time having been wasted by the incompetent and inconsiderate Cast Member, the morning now takes a serious turn as Dim warns it’s already 10:10am and Pop Century stops serving breakfast at 11:00. Jenn curtly cuts Dim off, saying 50 minutes is not enough time to make breakfast. Dim suggests that they at least try and see what happens. The possibility of potentially missing a feeding causes Jenn, in a brutally candid moment, to blurt out “WELL, I DON’T WANNA MISS BREAKFAST” in a cold panic which is equal parts revealing and horrifying. Dim, lacking a backbone for 42 years and counting, instantly folds and agrees to yet another mind-numbingly crappy meal at one of the Beach Club/Yacht Club breakfast options they’ve done nothing but complain about since their arrival.
Tim takes an opportunity to Dimsplain that Screendoor is a great DVC shop where you can pick up essentials such as toiletries, a toothbrush.. or bacon. Budley spots a wayward banana on the boardwalk which throws Dim into a PTSD tizzy. Disappointment hangs in the air at the low-quality Yacht Club quick serve breakfast. Jackson vacantly picks at a Mother’s Day croissant and complains that it’s sour. Oh the irony. Timmyboy scarfs down yet another Bounty Platter and roughly handles a greasy breakfast sandwich on a pretzel bun for the camera. We are left to assume this was Jenn’s, but Dim might have been double fisting. The whole fam escape the rain by mindlessly blowing some quick cash in an arcade, and even Ginn gets in on the action, lounging back on a sit-down ride with an unsettling glazed-over look in her eyes as it stutters and vibrates. Dim sneaks a creepshot of Minnie in her Boardwalk outfit at a character dining experience they walk past – sorry Dimster, not this time.
Despite the rain, Jenn finally gets the thumbnail she’s been wanting for the entire trip as the family are press-ganged onto a Surrey bike. Dim, who famously developed a hernia from the strain of riding a stationary bike, is put to work like a pack mule as he is forced to ferry well over 500lbs of dead weight up and down the boardwalk in a pathetic humiliation ritual. In a rather striking bit of symbolism, Jackson, from the front street, constantly reaches around and grabs hold of the steering wheel, attempting to take control and veer the entire family off course. Beta Dim does nothing to correct this behaviour, but just keeps peddling and puffing away.
Jenn and Da Baby retire to the room for the traditional forced nap whilst Dim takes Jackson to the pool to grab some b-roll. Soon the family are reunited for the only reason they exist – food – this time from the infamous Boardwalk Deli. As Dim and Dimmer flaunt their sandwiches, Dim spots an opportunity for more footage: roaming characters. The sandwiches are left behind and the child actor is put to work forthwith, and after providing sufficient footage of instructed hugs and rough punching high-fives, Jackson takes the bait of another paid experience set up on the lawn, this time friendship bracelet making. As the Cast Member sells him on how cool and fun it would be, Dim suggests that they return to their sandwiches. Jackson tells Dim point blank “NO, I WANNA DO DIS NOW”. Beta Dim can only reply “Oh brother” as he folds like an accordion.
The Trashers next head back to the room and get changed for yet more lacklustre pool time, Tim mostly padding out some running time with repetitive shots of Budley riding the Keister Coaster whilst Jenn gets used to the new and unusual sensation of holding Da Baby. Back to the room to regroup for dinner, and Jenn announces that their original plan of dinner at Caribbean Beach is now impossible due to piss-poor time management. That means, surprise surprise, it’s going to have to be Beach Club or Yacht Club. Yet again. You can’t make this tit up.
But first: the Trackholes feel the need to stop off at a firepit and treat Budley to a gigantic pre-dinner Mickey s’more. His appetite sufficiently ruined, the Snackers shuffle around and proffer their expert opinions on the Boardwalk experience. Jenn lets her audience know that the rooms “aren’t anything to write home about”, and the penny has finally dropped for Dim and Dimmer as they are forced to admit that choosing a Quick Service dining plan for the resort with the least number of Quick Service options was probably “a bad idea”. A crappy late QS dinner at Beach Club with what looked like the cold leftovers that were about to thrown out is quickly shown and then never mentioned again.
In an extremely fitting finale to the entire epic Boardwalk misadventure, the family half-heartedly watch the firework display happening at Epcot from a poor viewing angle at a random spot in the resort. Dim hoists Jackson up and turns the camera on him to capture his reaction in an effort to salvage something monetisable from the situation. Jackson keeps repeating that each explosion looks like ‘a big monster truck wheel’, over and over again. His father finds nothing unusual at all about this.
Check-out day has the Trackers leaving the room in their typical pigsty condition. An extremely dishevelled Jenn forces herself to go through the motions, calling it a “great stay” but throwing up her hands in exasperation. The fam had to get packed “as fast as they possibly could” because they are, as always, running late, and Jackson has to be ferried directly to school. A particularly hilarious staged shot of Jenn smelling a flower in the garden brings this whole clusterfuck of a staycation to a merciful and much-needed end.
To be continued...
Previously, on The Real White Trash of Lake Nona:
Part 1/2
We join our ragtag bunch on Day 2 of their Disney’s Boardwalk Resort staycation, which continues to usher in a new era of austerity for the Tracker clan. Cast out of their ivory tower of Grand Villa opulence, the Trackers are now forced to confront how the other half live: in a ground-floor standard room, subsisting on a Quick-Service Dining Plan. Within the first thirty seconds of the video, Tim complains about the noise caused by Disney’s non-electric “lawn leaf blowers”. The Trackers continue their piss-poor time management and a typically late breakfast at Beach Club is cause for the day’s next barrage of complaints as the straightforward regulations of the dining plan continue to flummox our protagonists. Dim cynically describes the breakfast fare as “typical”, despite choosing the exact same “Bounty Platter” pile of Disneyfied grease he unimaginatively ingests without fail. Jenn the Genius, after first complaining that the more conveniently located Boardwalk Deli only offered a paltry selection of breakfast sandwiches, curiously decides to plump for a sugar-infused “Hotcake Sandwich” after waddling all the way over to Beach Club. This proved to be a fatal mistake as the saccharine calorie bomb did not meet Her Royal Heaviness’ exacting standards, and the unfortunate Cast Member who recommended it was underhandedly blamed throughout the rest of Jenn’s multiple bitching sessions.
After eating their fill (except for Oliver, who was given meagre scraps), the Bojos are finally ready to begin their day at the bright and early hour of 11:30am – nearly lunchtime, a meal which Tim amusingly suggests they might actually skip! Of course, this meant it was already time for Oliver’s first forced nap of the day. The Trackers take a break to again complain about the inconvenient location of their room, whilst Jenn recounts her entitled haranguing of a Cast Member who was unable to provide an adequate list of locations of Coke Freestyle machines when prompted. Dim wonders aloud if Coney Island and the Jersey Shore “are the same thing”. Jenn and Oliver slumber in the pleb room whilst Tim and Jackson hit up the Keister Coaster in the pool area. Tim complains that the slide is not smooth enough for his delicate booty butt, though Jackson’s opinion seems much more positive, given his hand flapping and awkward dancing. An oil slick which rivals the wake of the Exxon Valdez forms after Jenn arrives to degrease herself in the communal pool. Da Baby is quickly handed off to Dim whilst the hippomom gleefully frolics in the chlorinated waters with nary a care in the world. Jackson is placated with a Mickey pretzel and a sugary mocktail but an eagle-eyed Tattler spots a JTech GuestCall IQ pager on the table. Busted! The Trackholes ordered poolside lunch for themselves but sneakily chose to omit this incriminating fact in their voog. The Slackers kill a bit of time by dropping a quick fifty bucks on a DIY tie dye t-shirt experience. Dim reminds us they want to do a Surrey bike, but tempers expectations with the caveat that “it’s getting awfully close to dinner time”.
Back in the room, Dim continues his skilful video tutorial on how to get the least amount of value out of a Disney dining plan as he informs us that the family have opted to splurge out of pocket on a Signature Dining experience at the nearby Flying Fish. The Bojos bless the upscale establishment with a heaping helping of Florida trailer park chic as they decide to forgo the pesky formal dress code and barge in donning their finest 3am-Walmart-run attire. Our greedy grifters gorge themselves on a lavish spread of posh starters, rich mains, and deluxe deserts – Jenn even treats herself to a very cheeky pint which somehow escapes her mention! Unfortunately, Oliver’s carrots were not cooked to Jenn’s precise instructions which casts a cloud of disappointment over proceedings.
The Trackholes next waddle over to the lawn and gawk at the families who have gathered for the showing of a mystery film. Jenn stupidly pontificates on what the secret selection could possibly be, adding that she is “very curious, very invested”. Absolute shocker: they do not return with their children to enjoy the film together as a family. Instead, they do what Clan Tracker does best: put their unbridled gluttony on public display, this time at Boardwalk Ice Cream. In Round 2 of desserts, Jackson is allotted a scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cup whilst Dim springs for a massive Thundering Surf peanut butter sundae. Dim sneaks in one final whinge about the bottleneck around the frustratingly still not yet open Blue Ribbon Corn Dogs. The video ends with the second day in a row of an outro recorded ex post facto, with Dim supplying the dubious line that the whole family “just went straight to sleep” upon entering their room. Of course, the astute viewer knows that without a nanny to pass the dreaded offspring off to, the Trackers are unable to properly control their kids for even the minimal amount of time to force smiles and pretend they had a great day on camera. Jenn sagely advises us that “sometimes when you’re on, like, your long Disney vacation, having resort days are[sic] really important”. Wise words indeed.
Day 3 of the doomed staycation kicks off most appropriately, as Grifter #1 and Grifter #2 show their continued lack of basic parental instincts, force laughing their way through an awkward intro where they announce it’s Mother’s Day and then, realising there is no mother present in the room, quickly drop the topic. At this point, does Jackson a) go through the motions and warmly wish his egg donor a happy Mother’s Day, or b) obnoxiously scream a barely coherent demand for a lollipop? If you’re reading this, you already know the answer.
Jenn has hatched a plan to head to Pop Century in Epcot for breakfast as it’s “on the Skyliner [..] and also they have a lot of options” in a half-assed attempt to at least salvage something from their remaining dining credits. However, the Snackers are powerless to resist the magnetic pull of main lobby Carousel Coffee, slavishly shuffling in whilst Jackson runs amok and fingers the merch like a seasoned pro. Snack credits are redeemed for coffees and a sugary cereal pre-breakfast treat for Jackson. Back in the lobby, Jenn feels the need to address the camera and derides the experience at Carousel as most uncuntierge, as she patronisingly complains that the Cast Member who didn’t get her order right “had to like do it a few times” before it finally met her approval. Dim sheepishly grins like a beta idiot as Jenn instructs her viewers to “go somewhere else”, her fake laughter unable to mask her condensation and disdain.
The Trackers’ precious time having been wasted by the incompetent and inconsiderate Cast Member, the morning now takes a serious turn as Dim warns it’s already 10:10am and Pop Century stops serving breakfast at 11:00. Jenn curtly cuts Dim off, saying 50 minutes is not enough time to make breakfast. Dim suggests that they at least try and see what happens. The possibility of potentially missing a feeding causes Jenn, in a brutally candid moment, to blurt out “WELL, I DON’T WANNA MISS BREAKFAST” in a cold panic which is equal parts revealing and horrifying. Dim, lacking a backbone for 42 years and counting, instantly folds and agrees to yet another mind-numbingly crappy meal at one of the Beach Club/Yacht Club breakfast options they’ve done nothing but complain about since their arrival.
Tim takes an opportunity to Dimsplain that Screendoor is a great DVC shop where you can pick up essentials such as toiletries, a toothbrush.. or bacon. Budley spots a wayward banana on the boardwalk which throws Dim into a PTSD tizzy. Disappointment hangs in the air at the low-quality Yacht Club quick serve breakfast. Jackson vacantly picks at a Mother’s Day croissant and complains that it’s sour. Oh the irony. Timmyboy scarfs down yet another Bounty Platter and roughly handles a greasy breakfast sandwich on a pretzel bun for the camera. We are left to assume this was Jenn’s, but Dim might have been double fisting. The whole fam escape the rain by mindlessly blowing some quick cash in an arcade, and even Ginn gets in on the action, lounging back on a sit-down ride with an unsettling glazed-over look in her eyes as it stutters and vibrates. Dim sneaks a creepshot of Minnie in her Boardwalk outfit at a character dining experience they walk past – sorry Dimster, not this time.
Despite the rain, Jenn finally gets the thumbnail she’s been wanting for the entire trip as the family are press-ganged onto a Surrey bike. Dim, who famously developed a hernia from the strain of riding a stationary bike, is put to work like a pack mule as he is forced to ferry well over 500lbs of dead weight up and down the boardwalk in a pathetic humiliation ritual. In a rather striking bit of symbolism, Jackson, from the front street, constantly reaches around and grabs hold of the steering wheel, attempting to take control and veer the entire family off course. Beta Dim does nothing to correct this behaviour, but just keeps peddling and puffing away.
Jenn and Da Baby retire to the room for the traditional forced nap whilst Dim takes Jackson to the pool to grab some b-roll. Soon the family are reunited for the only reason they exist – food – this time from the infamous Boardwalk Deli. As Dim and Dimmer flaunt their sandwiches, Dim spots an opportunity for more footage: roaming characters. The sandwiches are left behind and the child actor is put to work forthwith, and after providing sufficient footage of instructed hugs and rough punching high-fives, Jackson takes the bait of another paid experience set up on the lawn, this time friendship bracelet making. As the Cast Member sells him on how cool and fun it would be, Dim suggests that they return to their sandwiches. Jackson tells Dim point blank “NO, I WANNA DO DIS NOW”. Beta Dim can only reply “Oh brother” as he folds like an accordion.
The Trashers next head back to the room and get changed for yet more lacklustre pool time, Tim mostly padding out some running time with repetitive shots of Budley riding the Keister Coaster whilst Jenn gets used to the new and unusual sensation of holding Da Baby. Back to the room to regroup for dinner, and Jenn announces that their original plan of dinner at Caribbean Beach is now impossible due to piss-poor time management. That means, surprise surprise, it’s going to have to be Beach Club or Yacht Club. Yet again. You can’t make this tit up.
But first: the Trackholes feel the need to stop off at a firepit and treat Budley to a gigantic pre-dinner Mickey s’more. His appetite sufficiently ruined, the Snackers shuffle around and proffer their expert opinions on the Boardwalk experience. Jenn lets her audience know that the rooms “aren’t anything to write home about”, and the penny has finally dropped for Dim and Dimmer as they are forced to admit that choosing a Quick Service dining plan for the resort with the least number of Quick Service options was probably “a bad idea”. A crappy late QS dinner at Beach Club with what looked like the cold leftovers that were about to thrown out is quickly shown and then never mentioned again.
In an extremely fitting finale to the entire epic Boardwalk misadventure, the family half-heartedly watch the firework display happening at Epcot from a poor viewing angle at a random spot in the resort. Dim hoists Jackson up and turns the camera on him to capture his reaction in an effort to salvage something monetisable from the situation. Jackson keeps repeating that each explosion looks like ‘a big monster truck wheel’, over and over again. His father finds nothing unusual at all about this.
Check-out day has the Trackers leaving the room in their typical pigsty condition. An extremely dishevelled Jenn forces herself to go through the motions, calling it a “great stay” but throwing up her hands in exasperation. The fam had to get packed “as fast as they possibly could” because they are, as always, running late, and Jackson has to be ferried directly to school. A particularly hilarious staged shot of Jenn smelling a flower in the garden brings this whole clusterfuck of a staycation to a merciful and much-needed end.
To be continued...
I know someone here posts who claims they drive past the school and have seen Dimmy going to pick up J$. I hope for their safety Jenn isn't on the road when they are. And I'll also be waiting for the inedible Mommy got a ticket/car crash vid.
So I’ve been watching a few past videos. The one I watched this morning was when they re-created Disney at home and made churros and dole whips. (I think 2018)
Anyway, at the end they were prepping to watch Up. Jenn claims she’s never seen Up, and Tim reminds her she doesn’t watch many Disney movies and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to cry.
This to circle back to 2024, Tim not letting her watch Inside Out because he doesn’t want her to cry. I guess her emotional state needs to be managed by professionals.
SN.: she cried the entire time watching UP. So I can only imagine if her emotions were that out of control before kids it was definitely heightened during pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a crier too, but it’s not to the point where I am shielded from life because I might cry. I really hope she’s getting help
Anyway, at the end they were prepping to watch Up. Jenn claims she’s never seen Up, and Tim reminds her she doesn’t watch many Disney movies and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to cry.
This to circle back to 2024, Tim not letting her watch Inside Out because he doesn’t want her to cry. I guess her emotional state needs to be managed by professionals.
SN.: she cried the entire time watching UP. So I can only imagine if her emotions were that out of control before kids it was definitely heightened during pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a crier too, but it’s not to the point where I am shielded from life because I might cry. I really hope she’s getting help
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I saved this pic from maybe yesterday from Tim’s IG
WTF?
WTF?
Is this a coconut on their bookshelf?
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Lol, that’s me. It’s easy to spot the Rivian, and it’s not tinted, but over here in Lake Nona, it’s like more Teslas than Hondas and Toyotas combined lol. So I wouldn’t be able to spot her as easily.
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