I know! Brenda?!Mixed feelings about the Brenda line! The name does not fit at all either
I know! Brenda?!Mixed feelings about the Brenda line! The name does not fit at all either
I used to work with a different mental health helpline (not the Samaritans) and it was the same stance too as you have mentioned. We are not to tell someone not to kill themselves, you talk to them... gauge if there is any true intention to do so or just thoughts etc. Ultimately as you mentioned above, we cannot tell someone what to do.. and most of the time if they are calling up it is because they deep down donât want to do it and therefore wonât do it.. they just want someone to talk toIâm a Samaritan and the stance is that we canât tell anyone what to do. Weâre not there to convince you shouldnât kill your self. Weâre there to listen to that person, have them talk out all the things that are bothering them etc. For many people itâs the first time theyâve actually said out loud their suicidal thoughts, often those thoughts end up closely guarded in their heads, therefore it can be a helpful release. The Samaritans offers a way of talking about those thoughts out loud and hopefully working through them. But itâs not my right to take away your freedom of choice. Ultimately if you want to commit suicidal that is something youâre âallowedâ to do. Obviously weâre not recommending it either. Iâm not sure about the comment on facilitating abuse that someone else mentioned - I havenât come across that in my time of volunteering.
That actually happened to a family member of mine, but I think it was a different charity.I read at the start of this thread that the Samaritans canât trace you. When I was 16/17 I called them, I wasnât actively suicidal but I was dealing with suicidal ideation and just got panicked and needed to talk to someone. Later that day two police officers were at my door doing a welfare check because of that phone call. I had no warning they were coming, wasnât told theyâd be contacted. It was a horrible experience and made a bad situation a lot worse for me as my family were home when they turned up.
I donât know what happened in your particular case so just speaking in general terms; when I was trained we were told calls canât be traced. The phones we used were old school house phones, which didnât have any digital display or caller ID - as a volunteer I had absolutely no way of knowing the number someone was calling me from. I didnât know you could trace an address from a phone number (maybe you can with a landline?)I read at the start of this thread that the Samaritans canât trace you. When I was 16/17 I called them, I wasnât actively suicidal but I was dealing with suicidal ideation and just got panicked and needed to talk to someone. Later that day two police officers were at my door doing a welfare check because of that phone call. I had no warning they were coming, wasnât told theyâd be contacted. It was a horrible experience and made a bad situation a lot worse for me as my family were home when they turned up.
Thatâs also really strange. I never had to ask any of those questions to any caller when I volunteered there. Maybe some branches do things differently to others but thatâs really surprised me. Iâm speechlessI rang them once as I was really down and one of my kids had just pushed my buttons a bit too hard
she wasnât bothered about what I had to say-just my age,area and was I white?
i hung up
I used a mobile. Definitely wouldnât have used a landline as my parents wouldâve seen the call on the phone bill. I thought it was completely anonymous so felt safe to call but that night when the police officers turned up it really made my situation a thousand times worse and Iâd never recommend speaking to Samaritans again after that, I think itâs disgusting that they donât consider what danger that could actually put somebody in by sending police there without the callers knowledge. I called in the morning and it wasnât until much later in the evening that they came as well, I think itâs disgusting that theyâre allowed to do it without consentI donât know what happened in your particular case so just speaking in general terms; when I was trained we were told calls canât be traced. The phones we used were old school house phones, which didnât have any digital display or caller ID - as a volunteer I had absolutely no way of knowing the number someone was calling me from. I didnât know you could trace an address from a phone number (maybe you can with a landline?)
Thatâs also really strange. I never had to ask any of those questions to any caller when I volunteered there. Maybe some branches do things differently to others but thatâs really surprised me. Iâm speechless
thatâs terrible. I thought they were not there to intervene but just to listen. You surely cannot send around police to someoneâs house, as you say, it could make situations a million times worse. Iâm so shocked by that. How could they even know where you were based on a call?I used a mobile. Definitely wouldnât have used a landline as my parents wouldâve seen the call on the phone bill. I thought it was completely anonymous so felt safe to call but that night when the police officers turned up it really made my situation a thousand times worse and Iâd never recommend speaking to Samaritans again after that, I think itâs disgusting that they donât consider what danger that could actually put somebody in by sending police there without the callers knowledge. I called in the morning and it wasnât until much later in the evening that they came as well, I think itâs disgusting that theyâre allowed to do it without consent
I donât know. I was in such a bad situation at the time that I just wanted them out of the house ASAP I was only young and didnât ask how they found out but they told me they were doing a welfare check based on the call I made earlier that day (only person Iâd called was Samaritans). It made things really difficult for me at homethatâs terrible. I thought they were not there to intervene but just to listen. You surely cannot send around police to someoneâs house, as you say, it could make situations a million times worse. Iâm so shocked by that. How could they even know where you were based on a call?
thatâs so awful Iâm sorry you had to go through that considering you had the courage to phone them in the beginning! What an awful situation basically thrown back in your face. I feel for you.I donât know. I was in such a bad situation at the time that I just wanted them out of the house ASAP I was only young and didnât ask how they found out but they told me they were doing a welfare check based on the call I made earlier that day (only person Iâd called was Samaritans). It made things really difficult for me at home
Iâm sorry they made you feel like that. Never feel shame it wasnât your fault xxThe night I was raped, I rang Samaritans in distress, suicidal and drugged by the perpetrator. The woman I spoke to made me feel such shame and humiliation that it took me years before I could tell anyone else about the rape. I don't know if it was one bad apple or what, but it really screwed me up and allowed a rapist to escape justice.