I know! Brenda?!
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Hmm I donate money to Samaritan's every month, starting to wonder if I should move the money to somewhere else now.
I used to work with a different mental health helpline (not the Samaritans) and it was the same stance too as you have mentioned. We are not to tell someone not to kill themselves, you talk to them... gauge if there is any true intention to do so or just thoughts etc. Ultimately as you mentioned above, we cannot tell someone what to do.. and most of the time if they are calling up it is because they deep down donât want to do it and therefore wonât do it.. they just want someone to talk to
I read at the start of this thread that the Samaritans canât trace you. When I was 16/17 I called them, I wasnât actively suicidal but I was dealing with suicidal ideation and just got panicked and needed to talk to someone. Later that day two police officers were at my door doing a welfare check because of that phone call. I had no warning they were coming, wasnât told theyâd be contacted. It was a horrible experience and made a bad situation a lot worse for me as my family were home when they turned up.
I rang them once as I was really down and one of my kids had just pushed my buttons a bit too hard
she wasnât bothered about what I had to say-just my age,area and was I white?
i hung up
she wasnât bothered about what I had to say-just my age,area and was I white?
i hung up
That actually happened to a family member of mine, but I think it was a different charity.
I used the Samaritans email service after my miscarriage just over 2 years ago. Didnât find them helpful at all, had a few emails back and forth from them and in the end I just stopped replying to them as it wasnât helping me.
Not surprised by this thread at all.
Not surprised by this thread at all.
I donât know what happened in your particular case so just speaking in general terms; when I was trained we were told calls canât be traced. The phones we used were old school house phones, which didnât have any digital display or caller ID - as a volunteer I had absolutely no way of knowing the number someone was calling me from. I didnât know you could trace an address from a phone number (maybe you can with a landline?)
Thatâs also really strange. I never had to ask any of those questions to any caller when I volunteered there. Maybe some branches do things differently to others but thatâs really surprised me. Iâm speechless
I used a mobile. Definitely wouldnât have used a landline as my parents wouldâve seen the call on the phone bill. I thought it was completely anonymous so felt safe to call but that night when the police officers turned up it really made my situation a thousand times worse and Iâd never recommend speaking to Samaritans again after that, I think itâs disgusting that they donât consider what danger that could actually put somebody in by sending police there without the callers knowledge. I called in the morning and it wasnât until much later in the evening that they came as well, I think itâs disgusting that theyâre allowed to do it without consentI donât know what happened in your particular case so just speaking in general terms; when I was trained we were told calls canât be traced. The phones we used were old school house phones, which didnât have any digital display or caller ID - as a volunteer I had absolutely no way of knowing the number someone was calling me from. I didnât know you could trace an address from a phone number (maybe you can with a landline?)
Thatâs also really strange. I never had to ask any of those questions to any caller when I volunteered there. Maybe some branches do things differently to others but thatâs really surprised me. Iâm speechless
I read that Mumsnet thread about pervs clogging up the lines and was appalled. Spoke to someone I know who volunteers and she confirmed that they usually get more perverts than genuine callers.
thatâs terrible. I thought they were not there to intervene but just to listen. You surely cannot send around police to someoneâs house, as you say, it could make situations a million times worse. Iâm so shocked by that. How could they even know where you were based on a call?
I donât know. I was in such a bad situation at the time that I just wanted them out of the house ASAP I was only young and didnât ask how they found out but they told me they were doing a welfare check based on the call I made earlier that day (only person Iâd called was Samaritans). It made things really difficult for me at home
thatâs so awful Iâm sorry you had to go through that considering you had the courage to phone them in the beginning! What an awful situation basically thrown back in your face. I feel for you.
I used to be a Sam and no idea how they could have done that either. There was absolutely no way to trace calls and you can only break confidentiality for bomb warnings...also I was trained that you absolutely can end sex calls, in my branch we were encouraged to and also given a lot of support and supervision. The lines are manned by volunteers only, but the shift leader should be keeping an ear out and if there are concerns about the way someone dealt with calls it was addressed. I was involved in recruitment and we were extremely careful to try and filter out any gobshites! I was at a big city branch, though, I can imagine some of the smaller ones being more âwell weâve done it like this since 1979â.
I thought my training was brilliant, and Iâd love to go back someday when Iâve got fewer demands on my time.
I thought my training was brilliant, and Iâd love to go back someday when Iâve got fewer demands on my time.
Iâve always wanted to volunteer for the Samaritans. Has anyone done it recently during Covid?
I've phoned the Samaritans numerous times over many years. I had a terrible time as a teenager and I was able to actually got to the Samaritans office and have cups of tea, biscuits and somewhere I felt safe and valued. I never had a bad experience with the Samaritans and they always have all the time in the world. As with everything, they'll be bad apples on both sides. It must be a very difficult thing to do. But it's important that they don't judge or tell someone what to do. People shut down and more lives would be lost. Most people phone the Samaritans as they have no-one else to talk to. Sometimes people want to talk about potential suicide or self harm. The thing that saves lives more than anything else is someone not just listening, but hearing. I'm sorry to read of some appalling experiences, but please keep supporting them financially if you are able and phone or email them if you need to. 99.9% are kind and good and they really do care. Don't ever feel completely alone and I promise you, you are special and the world is better with you in it, even if it doesn't feel like that. x
Years ago when I left an abusive relationship I was in a very bad place mentally, I was so close to ending it all but I knew I didn't want to, I just wanted the pain to stop. I rang Samaritans just to talk, and have to say the lady I spoke to really helped me.. She just asked me how I felt and why I felt the way I did etc.. She really did calm me down a lot.. I only ever rang them the once though then I stuck with a local NI charity called Lifeline. Lifeline were fantastic. I spoke to them perhaps 3 times and I am pretty sure if they were worried for your safety then were able to contact your GP.. I could be wrong as it was so long ago now but it was something along them lines, they can maybe contact your GP and request counselling etc.. Thankfully I was already in touch with my doctor and I started counselling a number of weeks later after being put on a waiting list. I do believe the woman I spoke to from Samaritans and then the woman from lifeline really did play a huge part in helping me.
I used to be a Sam. There were definitely more sex calls than genuine ones, we were allowed to be firm and to hang up. We werent to offer advice or signpost, or to change minds. It was a space to be heard. I overheard a call where the person went ahead and committed suicide and the atmosphere was horrible. I wouldnt do it again.
Throughout many years, I have felt the need to speak to the Samaritans - not because I felt sucicidal, but because I was dealing with deeply emotional difficulties - bereavements ect. I have had a mixture of experiences, some Sams were great listeners, and really helped me. Some were not helpful, and I would leave a session feeling quite vulnerable.
When I was in a stronger place emotionally, I applied to become a Samaritan. In the first part of training, we were informed that If a caller was sucidal, we were not supposed to intervene, just let the caller carry on with it. I did not return after this session. I'm not sure if this policy is the same, if someone came to the Samaritan centre in person. This was quite a few years ago though.
There have been a few times recently, when I really needed to speak to the Samaritans face to face, but of course we can't. The last one that I spoke to on the phone, was helpful and reassuring. I guess it is the luck of the draw. I hope this does not discourage people from contacting the Samaritans, if they really need to talk.
When I was in a stronger place emotionally, I applied to become a Samaritan. In the first part of training, we were informed that If a caller was sucidal, we were not supposed to intervene, just let the caller carry on with it. I did not return after this session. I'm not sure if this policy is the same, if someone came to the Samaritan centre in person. This was quite a few years ago though.
There have been a few times recently, when I really needed to speak to the Samaritans face to face, but of course we can't. The last one that I spoke to on the phone, was helpful and reassuring. I guess it is the luck of the draw. I hope this does not discourage people from contacting the Samaritans, if they really need to talk.
Iâm sorry they made you feel like that. Never feel shame it wasnât your fault xx