“The other women”

[Peaches_xox]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

 

[bunsofsteel]

There's always an assumption that the 'other woman' is single. Quite often she too is in a relationship or married.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

my opinion they're directed at both and both are in the wrong. If a man is knowingly cheating with a married woman then yes he is in the wrong.
Both in a relationship and cheating with each other, both wrong. You shouldn't be cheating outside a relationship and you shouldn't be getting involved with someone you know is in a relationship. This just might be my autistic brain because I have quite black and white views of right and wrong.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

I view it as both genders. Its just a crappy thing to do, man or woman imo

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash?

If he has morals and knows of him, yes.

 

[monga]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

For me it applies to both ,but I think it's more accepting of a man to cheat . Take Hancock for instance both parties were married ,the public sympathy went to his wife and Ginas husband,he was seen as having his cake and eating it ( wink ,wink,nudge,nudge) and the scorn fell on his mistress ...she'll be forever labelled the 'other woman' .

 

[dancingqueen5678]

For me it applies to both ,but I think it's more accepting of a man to cheat . Take Hancock for instance both parties were married ,the public sympathy went to his wife and Ginas husband,he was seen as having his cake and eating it ( wink ,wink,nudge,nudge) and the scorn fell on his mistress ...she'll be forever labelled the 'other woman' .

Monica Lewinsky is a good example of that. Bill Clinton got nothing. People still bring up Monica Lewinksy now and the woman is nearly 50

 

[monga]

Monica Lewinsky is a good example of that. Bill Clinton got nothing. People still bring up Monica Lewinksy now and the woman is nearly 50

Yip ! I don't think it ever leaves you .

 

[watermelon sugar]

Once, my ex boyfriend cheated on me with some girl I knew, so I went and slept with her ex boyfriend. Then SHE kicked off on ME!! I was single at the time btw, so was he

 

[Oohthedrama]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

He’s absolutely trash if he knows you’re in a relationship or goes after a woman in a relationship.

trash has no gender they’re both to blame no matter the gender.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I worked with a guy MANY years ago and we fell in love, very hard. He was married with kids and we were great friends. People gossiped about us and we had many nights out, dinner parties at mine. This went on for about 2-3 years, nothing physical ever happened, although he ended up emigrating and the night before he tried to kiss me but I declined. He was the first person I loved I think and I would have done anything for him. We are still in touch on FB, I am now married and have been for 20 years. He told me that he ended up naked in bed with one of his co-workers a while ago so don't know if he has had other 'affairs'. (I don't know if what we had was an affair, I suppose it was as a very strong emotional connection with physical attraction that was never acted on).

 

[Apple In My Pie]

Question - if I, as a woman in a relationship go out and sleep or have an affair with a single man, is that man my ‘enabler.’ Does the single man owe my fella decency and respect? Is he trash? Or is he just a man who wanted sex and that’s less horrifying then a women doing the same thing?

Just wondering if these views are directed at both genders or women only?

I think so yeah

 

[TrolleyParton]

When I was still getting involved in stuff like this, there was never this gleeful notion of tearing a family apart of hurting innocent people, in fact I'd have been devastated if the women involved had found out. I went into it with an assumption that we wouldn't get caught. And we never did. In fact, most affairs/sidepieces that I've known about or known people to be involved in over my whole life, the cheaters never got caught. People are incredibly good at covering their tracks when it comes to this stuff, and not just men!

I confronted the other woman and was basically told she wanted what I had. Not in the way that she set out to 'get me' as it were, more that she saw a man she felt was attractive and decent and led him on. He was the bigger twit though of course.

A lot of men will say that they do seem to suddenly become more attractive to other women once they're in a serious relationship. I think women do have this tendency to be quite competitive over what they see as the limited supply of decent men.

 

[monga]

Out of interest ,what does it offer you being the other woman ?

 

[TrolleyParton]

Out of interest ,what does it offer you being the other woman ?

Not sure if this was directed at me or if you just happened to be the next post under mine, but when I was doing this (and we're talking like 15/20 years ago here), there were various reasons. I have really bad issues with attachment and insecurity and I constantly got fucked over and hurt by men I was genuinely in to, so it was almost like a protective thing where I could have fun without expecting it to go anywhere. And bizarre as it sounds, there was something quite flattering in thinking that someone was risking their relationships with their SOs and/or children just for a chance at bleeping me. I know now (and knew then really, if I'm honest) that it wasn't about me at all, it was about men and the fact that they cannot run a brain and a dick on the amount of blood they have circulating (big thanks to Robin Williams for that one!).

 

[melbman]

as in you had her as the other woman or she was your woman and was an “other woman” to someone else?

not sure what you mean

 

[melbman]

I've been the other woman. Not really fussed about judgement by strangers. We had a relationship for 2 and a half years. We both got what we wanted from it and it naturally ended. I was working full time, going to University and learning to fly so didn't have the time nor really want to commit to anything more than sex, worked for both of us. It wasn't me that stood in front of friends and family and take vows, it was him that did that and broke them (frequently)

It takes two to Tango

 

[monga]

Of course it takes two to tango but what I find hard to believe is some people attached themselves to a married man because he gave them the confidence boost they needed after being treated badly in previous realationships ,yet they're happy to put those feelings of despair on to his wife ( should she ever find out ) why would you want to make someone else feel rubbish about themselves ,because let's face it he's disrespecting you both .

 

[WilmaHun]

Of course it takes two to tango but what I find hard to believe is some people attached themselves to a married man because he gave them the confidence boost they needed after being treated badly in previous realationships ,yet they're happy to put those feelings of despair on to his wife ( should she ever find out ) why would you want to make someone else feel rubbish about themselves ,because let's face it he's disrespecting you both .

I do see what you're saying, but then again doesn't this come down to what story the man has given? If a man has told the "other woman" that things at home aren't great, they're not sharing a bed, not having sex etc etc etc (whether it be true or not) then the other woman is likely to think that the relationship is over anyway. I don't think it's always as black and white as things seem and the married party could be manipulating the situation to make the other person think that what they're doing isn't going to cause much hurt..

 

[monga]

I do see what you're saying, but then again doesn't this come down to what story the man has given? If a man has told the "other woman" that things at home aren't great, they're not sharing a bed, not having sex etc etc etc (whether it be true or not) then the other woman is likely to think that the relationship is over anyway. I don't think it's always as black and white as things seem and the married party could be manipulating the situation to make the other person think that what they're doing isn't going to cause much hurt..

I'm more talking about the women that set out to catch the married man just for the buzz of it ,or course nobody knows what shite he could spill about his relationship with his wife that's why I said he's disrespecting both of them ( by playing both of them ) the old saying was once a man takes a mistress her spot is then vacant ready to filled by the next in line ,some women hang on to the fact they'll steal him away from his wife but I think it's more to do with the buzz and excitement he gets by his secret life not that he's trying to build the same life that's he's already bored of,because then the mistress just becomes the wife .