hey guys,
another tattle user directed me here, i’m going to copy and paste what i put on another thread about my son and add some bits in, i’d be really appreciative of any advice please.
my son is 5 nearly 6 and is on the verge of being excluded from school and i don’t know what to do anymore, i’ve tried everything possible including getting him assessed but the GP won’t even entertain an appointment with them until he’s 6 let alone a referral.
He doesn’t sleep, no matter what i do or the routine he just does not sleep until he’s at the point of exhaustion where he pretty much collapses.
he has an obsession around any technology mainly phones, computers and watches but even down to things like smart meters. He doesn’t have access to anything other than a TV so he will constantly draw the items he is interested in and if the slightest thing on the drawing is wrong he will have a melt down.
He also likes to know exactly how things work and operating systems etc and is extremely knowledgeable on anything to do with technology.
he constantly puts things in his mouth, he will have meltdowns over certain foods, when he has a meltdown he will kick, scream, bite, scratch and throw things.
He doesn’t seem to have an “off” switch, he talks and it’s like his brain goes a thousand miles an hour and he will talk and talk about his subject of interest but is not engaged when something else is spoken about.
he constantly and consistently interrupts conversations and has no perception of personal space with anyone.
sorry for the long post and thanks for reading x
Hello, it’s me from the other thread. I will reply here as there is more information!
It sounds like ASD to me.
Disclaimer: please don’t take this as me telling you how to parent. You sound like a wonderful mother who loves her son and I’m not a parent. I can only go off what did or didn’t help me as a kid. I am no expert in neurodivergency either, I am solely speaking from my own experiences. I will caveat my thoughts with my own experiences. Also be prepared for lots of questions lol.
Firstly, does his school have a sen/senco team? What are the school saying about his behaviour? How big is his class? What kind of activities does he do? Does he play with the other kids? I am wondering if his kick offs at school are from being overwhelmed with the noise and the attention needed to sit and listen. I vividly remember being his age and hating break time and anytime we had to sing cause there was so much noise but not consistent noises. It was so many different noises. I am wondering if there is someone available to remove him from the room when he’s struggling.
I have no advice about the meltdown when not getting things right because I only learned to let that go as an adult. That said, is ethereal someone where he can go with the meltdowns? Somewhere safe where he can just let go and not harm himself or anyone else. I wish I could tell you how to stop them but in all honesty, I’m 20 years older than your son and I still have moments where I just want scream the place down.
Have you ever done a reward type thing with him? Let me explain, I have a family friend who was a foster career and she would use teachable skills as positive reinforcement. So basically x amount of behaviours gets you x thing. Not like potty training though, more like in your sons case, if he doesn’t interrupt when someone is speaking he gets to do something like look at the smart meter and touch the buttons. I have 0 idea if it’ll work cause the kids she had had behavioural issues from being neglected so she would have things like “i showered every day”, “I brushed my teeth” “i peed in the toilet” which were things they’d never been taught. obviously your little one doesn’t need that but I’m wondering if the positive reinforcement of life skills would help him. He might be a bit young for it but he sounds very bright from what you’ve said.
Does he have a watch and could you get him a watch? Not a smart one or anything, but maybe one of those fan dangle ones with buttons on the side, they sell them in Argos.
I am wondering if a watch he can play with could be used as a calm tool. also could be a reward thing for him.
For putting things in his mouth have you looked into chewable jewellery? He might be an oral stimmer so using his mouth is what’s calming him (i am one of these but I like to repeat words)
As for the sleeping, what’s his room like? Is there too much going on in there? E.g. walls are too colourful, curtains not dark enough, too many toys. What exactly is he doing when he’s not sleeping? Is he running around? Is he coming out of his room?
Also, does he like blankets/heavy clothes?
I hope you don’t think I’m saying you’re doing anything wrong cause I DO NOT think that all. It’s just really hard to understand if your brain isn’t wired up that way
