“The Ick”

[LaurieLaurie]

So I went on a 'date' (dog walk) a few weeks ago with a guy and wasn't overly keen, but thought he could've been nervous so have kept messaging him. Over the last week or so I realised that I just didn't fancy him so have been gradually replying less and less, but he keeps double/triple texting me and not taking the hint... ick. What do I do to let him down gently?

Just come out with it and be honest. I am blunt though.

 

[ChloChlo]

How could I forget a fucking random mole on the face either.

How anyone can missionary fuck people like Enrique Inglias or Colin Farrel is beyond me.

A facial mole can totally ruin what could have been a reasonably good looking fella for me completely.

 

[bookworm1403]

What an unpleasant situation! He really can't get the message can he. Has he no self respect? Does he not realise that talking to all your friends and quizzing them about you is seriously off? The ex's-sister so interested too?
You sound like a kind hearted and tolerant person, but you have to be firm here.
Good luck. You deserve someone miles better.

For context, him and his ex split up almost two years ago now and him and the ex's sister work together so I think they've remained close, so her interest is as his friend as well as being mine (she is lovely mind you, she wouldn't push I just think she'd like to see him happy)

I just hope I won't get another message in six weeks. I don't know how many times I can tell him as now I've begun to feel like the bad guy (even though I know I'm not)! Thank you

 

[openbook1]

I once had dealings with a micro penis. I mean, it was literally not just small.. an actual micro penis. He didn’t pre warn me or anything. It was like the 5th date and time to you know... we strip off and I see that... I literally was so shocked I asked him to close the door of my bedroom and when he went to close it, I said, from the other side please.

This was years ago and I admit - not my finest moment - but I blame the shock!

aahahhahahahah, oh my

 

[Pippa M]

Crocs. Had a date with a fit Kuwaiti - muscular, hot accent, gorgeous Arabic fragrance then I looked down and saw the world’s most effective method of contraception, a pair of Crocs.

Awful...but a shame as he sounds ok otherwise !

 

[Chablis1]

All one guy!! This was on date 3 when I went over to his (in hindsight, an error of judgment on my part) I thought it would be a chilled Friday evening on the sofa drinking wine

Anyway it started with the eye gazing which gave me the Ick straight away. I hoped he would chill out after a drink, which wasn't even wine, it was beer from a can! And which he nursed for hours in the most unmanly way. Then came the guitar..

After failed attempt at sex, he wanted to smoke weed "to help him sleep" and proceeded to put on a dressing gown and those horrendous slipper boot things to go into the garden

When I went to use the bathroom at 10pm he told me not to turn on the light/fan as this would disturb his flatmate so could I please use my phone torch

The next morning I couldn't wait to get outta there, had to witness the hair straightening, and then he asked me about staying for board games

I haven't seen him since.

Not surprised, m8

 

[chandlercheesecake]

I remember at school I had a crush on a boy in my class , until he turned up to a PE lesson once in smart black ankle swingers and white socks.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

I don't know if this even counts as 'the ick', but this guy I went to school with has asked me out three times this year (first before the pandemic, second after lockdown and third last week). Every time he does I explain that I'm not interested in dating and, if we were to go out, it would definitely just be as friends catching up, but even this makes me nervous that he'll get the wrong impression.

Last week he asked again and actually used my busy schedule against me this time, as this was my excuse last time (i.e. 'I know you work, go to uni & train everyday but you surely have an hour to give me?') and then, after I agreed to a meet up as friends, proceeded to say that 'we'll go on a few dates and take it slow'. The idea that already he thinks it's a romantic date and expects to be taking it slow has made me cringe. I can't even use lockdown as an excuse as we (in Wales) come out of it on Monday I feel like I just had to get it off my chest - the ick is now so strong I can't face the meet up, but I feel awful telling him for the third time I am not interested

Urgh what an a** hole.

Just say you don't want to go - not even as only friends, he sounds like he is refusing to take a subtle nice no for the answer it is.

Ofc, it's up to you if you want to meet as chums, but i did this and all they did was try to wear me down and turn no into yes. If it is no, then it will remain no and if they are looking for a date, they beed to find girls who think this guy is a mmmmaybe? Or better still, a yes. Otherwise it is a waste of time for them, and an excurahating, akward and possibility dangerous for the girl.

I wish there was an "applause" reaction for you and @birdiefly246 because you've both hit the nail on the head. I want to memorise your posts so I can recite them back whenever I get the "are you seeing anyone" and the pitying looks from extended family members.

I tried this, thought I'd got through to them. No, apparently men do these things later in life as they marry women around 10 years younger than them. It's completely normal, men exclusively prefer younger (ick) and luckly women always prefer older men (urmmm do we?) It's natural. I was told with a piercing gaze.

My family are all well educated (phd's etc) and this, this is what they came up with to say to me.

2020 just keeps getting better!

(I'll move onto the sexism thread now)

 

[Pippa M]

I’ve also had guys give me gifts they’ve either found around their house or were meant for someone else. One man tries to give me a advent calendar (one of those ones with mini make up products in) in July. My ex brought me a used gift bag filled with stuff out of random Boots smelly boxes. Another one gave me a bottle of boxed wine and some weird vitamins, supposedly to help my child survive Covid.

Oh HA ! My sister in law does this ,birthdays and Christmas so it seems that woman have Ick sometimes as well

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I had a one night stand with a lad and he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me

This one has said he would marry me too

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Belly buttons for obvious reasons - especially "innies"

 

[Bellaboo83]

Please tell me you didn’t go on the date?!

Hahaha yes, I went!! Needless to say no date 2.

 

[Jessfletcher666]

Enraging

is this sarcasm? Not sure if it is and why it gives me the ick, I suppose because it’s childish and I wanna date a man not an overgrown toddler.

 

[CarrieW24]

Wasn't talking about rejects or outlets or legit shops, I was talking about knock-offs...as I said

Thank you for clarifying, I'm over it. Took it very personally at the time.

 

[CarrieW24]

Can someone post the link here if they do start that thread.

 

[CarrieW24]

Oh I have another one. When he has to put on a certain weird number youve never heard of every single time during sex. And when he hasn't finished when the song ends he interrupts the sex to repeat the song. Every time you have sex.

There's a spat out smoothie on my table, and I think some got up my nose. I've never hear of that. Oh, you poor girl!

 

[birdiefly246]

The moment was killed stone dead

What did he say? How did you react? Was he understanding of why you stopped? I need details!

 

[Notredamn]

Me too. A skanky bitch with her own house because she doesn't waste money!




"funding terrorism..." brands sell their rejects for next to nothing because there's incorrect stitching or some other minor unforseen error on them. If I'm funding terrorism then the discount shops/ factory outlets I buy them from are funding terrorism. I'm not buying shoes in some dark dodgy street corner, I buy from legit shops!

Very extreme wording on such a nice thread. What a shame to ruin it, but I have to defend someone calling me a terrorist piggy bank! Shame on you.


Lol. I feel like I can't wear mine anymore knowing it gives him the ick. Imagine getting divorced over that, I wish I never asked

Wasn't talking about rejects or outlets or legit shops, I was talking about knock-offs...as I said

 

[Sparks]

I really should buy a sanitary bin, but it just gives me the creeps when it comes to emptying

Same, I flush them. Even though my brother works at a waste water plant and he would kill me if he knew

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

I went on date #3 today.
The guy had mentioned he kept guinea pigs and I naturally assumed outside, in a hutch.
Oh no.... the smell that greeted me as I entered his flat will stay with me for some time he keeps them in his living room 24/7
I petted his animals out of politeness, but when he attempted to rip my clothes off I explained I wasn't in the mood and made a hasty exit.
I don't know if I can get past this to carry on dating him. The Ick!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, as long as he is kind to them and they aren't mistreated i think it could be a good sign. I wouldn't want them watching though... or loose at the time.