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Are you able to arrange some kind of companionship, if you aren’t able? I’m thinking perhaps a daily walk with a friend or carer, even if a short stroll to get fresh air and have a change of scenery. Daylight at this time of year especially may help at least delay the desire to go back to bed. The use of alcohol is worrying too. It sounds like they are struggling, and you are so kind to care the way you do.
Are you in the UK? Your uni almost certainly has mental health services available! I really recommend you look in to it. Often they are free or very low cost. Also congratulations on staying sober for 9 months. That's an amazing achievement. I'm glad you had a good Christmas & Birthday too! Happy Birthday!
Age UK has lots of advice on supporting elderly family members dealing with low mood/loneliness.
Loneliness | Age UK
Age UK are here to help those overcome loneliness. Find out what causes loneliness here and how we can help tackle the problem.
I went up to 150mg Sertraline as 100 was ineffective and now I am trembling inside constantly and can't use my hands steadily. I don't know what to do.
How long have you been up? It takes a while to adjust
12 days. 50 and 100 didn't do this. I'm struggling to sleep but my anxiety is lower than on 100. Ugg.
Call someone straight away. Call a friend or a charity or the hospital.
@BoredHousewifeSince2007: Please call someone ASAP, if anything, I’m here for you.
@TapToBoreMeRigid: I have no experience with Sertraline but I hope the trembling goes away, it sounds super unpleasant x
@TapToBoreMeRigid: I have no experience with Sertraline but I hope the trembling goes away, it sounds super unpleasant x
Hi all. I rang the doc and the receptionist is having the doc call me tomorrow morning. I've experienced akathesia on a med before and that was bad but different to this. Looks like I'll have to try another medicine. Daunting. I'm exhausting my options.
i hope it’s okay to vent here - i’ve been hugely struggling with my ocd/anxiety over the past month. it started getting pretty bad over lockdown but more recently i’ve become obsessed with what my old age is going to be like and convinced myself that any number of illnesses/elderly abuse etc is going to happen to me. it’s looking increasingly likely that i will be an alone old person (don’t want kids, cannot keep a partner) and my mind will not let me move past that thought.
i’ve always had a massive fear of being “old” which is ridiculous because i’m 36 but i’m finding myself walking around my house (which is full of things i love) wondering what’s going to happen to all of these things when i die, or doing the exact same in my parents’ house.
i’m normally fairly good at dealing with the intrusive/obsessive thoughts side of my ocd but we had two big deaths in my family this year combined with a break-up for me and i’m getting so angry at myself. urgh.
i hope all of you in this thread are doing okay
i’ve always had a massive fear of being “old” which is ridiculous because i’m 36 but i’m finding myself walking around my house (which is full of things i love) wondering what’s going to happen to all of these things when i die, or doing the exact same in my parents’ house.
i’m normally fairly good at dealing with the intrusive/obsessive thoughts side of my ocd but we had two big deaths in my family this year combined with a break-up for me and i’m getting so angry at myself. urgh.
i hope all of you in this thread are doing okay
Hey you, I hope it is ok for me to respond here (as we are also chatting in another thread).i hope it’s okay to vent here - i’ve been hugely struggling with my ocd/anxiety over the past month. it started getting pretty bad over lockdown but more recently i’ve become obsessed with what my old age is going to be like and convinced myself that any number of illnesses/elderly abuse etc is going to happen to me. it’s looking increasingly likely that i will be an alone old person (don’t want kids, cannot keep a partner) and my mind will not let me move past that thought.
i’ve always had a massive fear of being “old” which is ridiculous because i’m 36 but i’m finding myself walking around my house (which is full of things i love) wondering what’s going to happen to all of these things when i die, or doing the exact same in my parents’ house.
i’m normally fairly good at dealing with the intrusive/obsessive thoughts side of my ocd but we had two big deaths in my family this year combined with a break-up for me and i’m getting so angry at myself. urgh.
i hope all of you in this thread are doing okay
I can identify with your thoughts.
I also became aware of my own mortality - a few acquaintances died over the last couple of years, young women dying of cancer.
It is probably a good thing to be aware of, as it also puts things into perspective - is it really worth me being upset because of the noisy neighbours?
etc
But at the same time it is terrifying. Everything is so fleeting and life will become more and more difficult the older we get.
What stories are you telling yourself - "cannot keep a partner": where does this come from? Why do you think is it your "fault" that your relationships ended?
Meeting the right person and being compatible with the person we fall in love with is not something we can control.
And why are you angry at yourself? Do you feel you did something wrong? What?
How does your OCD show up? I understand the anxiety in light of the recent events in your life and in the world, but don't understand the OCD side of things. Do you feel like you would like to control your future?
hello twin
i’ll try and explain the ocd as my doctor explained it to me! ocd can really be separated into two parts - compulsions (ie excessive cleanliness, turning lights on and off a certain time) and obsessions (intrusive thoughts, becoming completely derailed by convincing yourself something has happened or is going to happen). i went to my doctor initially with what i later realised was “hit and run ocd” where a small anxiety about driving turned into me convincing myself i had bumped cars or was about to be in an accident with no evidence of this.
i think i’m angry at myself because, in my heart, i know it’s unwarranted. why waste time now convincing myself that thirty years from now i may be unhappy? but i know that now the thought is in my head it will be here for a little while.
and idk - i feel like the common factor in all my relationships ending is me. and i just have never, and probably never will ever, find attracting people and starting relationships as easy as everyone else. that is something i need to stop beating myself up about.
as always though, across the threads, i appreciate your kind words. i think i struggle at this time of year anyway and the nothingy point between christmas and new year is always hard. hopefully it will get better once i’m back into some kind of normal routine!
hey therehello twin
i’ll try and explain the ocd as my doctor explained it to me! ocd can really be separated into two parts - compulsions (ie excessive cleanliness, turning lights on and off a certain time) and obsessions (intrusive thoughts, becoming completely derailed by convincing yourself something has happened or is going to happen). i went to my doctor initially with what i later realised was “hit and run ocd” where a small anxiety about driving turned into me convincing myself i had bumped cars or was about to be in an accident with no evidence of this.
i think i’m angry at myself because, in my heart, i know it’s unwarranted. why waste time now convincing myself that thirty years from now i may be unhappy? but i know that now the thought is in my head it will be here for a little while.
and idk - i feel like the common factor in all my relationships ending is me. and i just have never, and probably never will ever, find attracting people and starting relationships as easy as everyone else. that is something i need to stop beating myself up about.
as always though, across the threads, i appreciate your kind words. i think i struggle at this time of year anyway and the nothingy point between christmas and new year is always hard. hopefully it will get better once i’m back into some kind of normal routine!
thank you for explaining about ocd. I think I have the same problem - I can think obsessively about a situation, then feel anxious and then procrastinate to avoid feeling anxious. horrible!
I tried meditation to deal with it, but don't seem to be able to stick with it. I also read that exercise helps, so I want to start exercising again. as I felt poorly quite often in recent months I stopped running and want to pick this up again soon. I also signed up for a yoga challenge.
I don't think it is unwarranted to think about what might happen in the future. maybe there is a way to see if you can make peace with not knowing what might happen and that certain things are simply out of your control.
as you know, many people don't find dating easy! I am sure there are many more out there that don't write on the dating thread and just quietly stay single or suffer in unhappy relationships. this is also something that is not in our control unfortunately. but we can make the best of it!
tbh, I love the time "between the years". it is great to get lost in the time, not do anything productive, just read and eat and watch movies, lounging around in pyjamas. it is always my favourite time of the year.
I always make list of things I want to do in the following year, write them down and then also look at the list from last year (I never look at the lists at any other time) and see what I have managed to do and what I haven't.
I am also thinking about setting directions for my future a lot these days and how I want to live.
Hope you don't mind a newbie. Have very few people I can talk to in real life - I'd say less than 5 people know I have depression (well I expect its obvious to alot of people, but I've only actually told a few). I've been on 100mg sertraline for a couple of years (my longest stint) and it has mostly worked wonders for my overall mood, its like my default mood is now almost neutral rather than very low. I can't imagine ever feeling like I can come off it.
I'm starting to really struggle with anxiety...finding it so hard to make decisions, am deliberately avoiding things at work, massively catstrophising etc. Physically it's the feeling of constant dread in my stomach, racing heart, tearful and stressed. This is starting to have more of an impact on my life than my mood ever did, and am finding it really hard to get my head around what feels like a new unmanageable problem compared to depression which feels more controlled.
I know depression and anxiety can go hand in hand and my trying to separate them probably isn't helping.
Do any of you feel like you've tackled either depression or anxiety and the other has then reared its head? How did you manage? Is there a particular SSRI that can be better at managing both, or should sertraline be able to do that?
I feel like I need to speak to my GP, but can't quite find the words at the moment
I'm starting to really struggle with anxiety...finding it so hard to make decisions, am deliberately avoiding things at work, massively catstrophising etc. Physically it's the feeling of constant dread in my stomach, racing heart, tearful and stressed. This is starting to have more of an impact on my life than my mood ever did, and am finding it really hard to get my head around what feels like a new unmanageable problem compared to depression which feels more controlled.
I know depression and anxiety can go hand in hand and my trying to separate them probably isn't helping.
Do any of you feel like you've tackled either depression or anxiety and the other has then reared its head? How did you manage? Is there a particular SSRI that can be better at managing both, or should sertraline be able to do that?
I feel like I need to speak to my GP, but can't quite find the words at the moment
Finding today so hard. 2021 was so shite. I have a feeling things aren’t going to improve
Sending love to everyone tonight, hope 2022 will be our year 
I’m really struggling today.
What doesn’t help is everyone reflecting on their amazing past year, mine was tit and mostly wishing to die.
I have this raging emptiness and void in me this evening, I can’t shake it. I don’t know.
I think we’ll, I’m almost sure that I’m heading back to how I was before I started this medication, it isn’t great by all means but it seems to placate it a small bit but it’s efficiency doesn’t seem to be as ‘good’.
Psychotherapist assessment isn’t until Feb, sick of contacting my (clueless) GP to be given a generic pill to try, the weaning is the worst too. I hate this. I wish I was normal.x
What doesn’t help is everyone reflecting on their amazing past year, mine was tit and mostly wishing to die.
I have this raging emptiness and void in me this evening, I can’t shake it. I don’t know.
I think we’ll, I’m almost sure that I’m heading back to how I was before I started this medication, it isn’t great by all means but it seems to placate it a small bit but it’s efficiency doesn’t seem to be as ‘good’.
Psychotherapist assessment isn’t until Feb, sick of contacting my (clueless) GP to be given a generic pill to try, the weaning is the worst too. I hate this. I wish I was normal.x
Ugh New Years Eve is tit. Totally understand all the BS on social media of people reflecting on their years is upsetting and feeds into empty feelings. I'm sure you know this - but people don't share their real lives online, and I'd wager a few people you think are doing well are also going through their own struggles.
Hold on for Feb! Could you maybe see a different GP in the same practice if your current one isn't very helpful? It sucks switching pills, and the side effects weaning off one and on to another are annoying. But if you find one that works it can made a real difference.
Take Care
Yes! It's a total balancing act managing both. For a while I was on two different medications - an SNRI for the Depression and Pregabalin for the anxiety. I was also in regular therapy, which helps a lot with my anxiety.
I think there are some SSRIs that have been found to help with both. But if the sertraline is working okay for your maybe your GP could suggest something to specifically address the anxiety to take alongside?
Would you find making notes for the GP appointment helpful? Or even telling them you're struggling and finding it hard to explain exactly how. But that you know you need help.
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Happy new year everyone!
I know it can be a very hard time of year with everyone else seemingly having a perfect Christmas and new year but remember it’s not all real!
This time last year I was so depressed. I’d spent the week between Christmas and new year being yelled at by my parents for being so introverted and shy. I remember thinking there was no point in making any resolutions because I wouldn’t keep to any of them. That was the best decision I ever made! Since I hadn’t made any goals there was no pressure and so anything I achieved last year was a bonus. Last year definitely did not get off to a good start for me, I was on really bad terms with my parents and just as things got better my grandma passed. However, now I look back it was probably the best year for me. I may not have made loads of friends and gone out a lot like every other 20 year old seems too, but I fixed my relationship with my parents and now know what I’m doing with my life. I have something to live for!
I don’t have a New Years resolution and I don’t think I’ll ever make one because every day is a new beginning. You shouldn’t feel pressured to start a fresh just because the calendar and society say so. I have some hopes for this year and deadlines to work towards but I’m not going to hold myself to expectations I might meet. Everyone is working at their own pace and you should never feel bad for not seeming to be moving as quickly as those around you.
You’re doing you’re best and are amazing for that! Don’t let anyone (or yourself) tell you otherwise!
I know it can be a very hard time of year with everyone else seemingly having a perfect Christmas and new year but remember it’s not all real!
This time last year I was so depressed. I’d spent the week between Christmas and new year being yelled at by my parents for being so introverted and shy. I remember thinking there was no point in making any resolutions because I wouldn’t keep to any of them. That was the best decision I ever made! Since I hadn’t made any goals there was no pressure and so anything I achieved last year was a bonus. Last year definitely did not get off to a good start for me, I was on really bad terms with my parents and just as things got better my grandma passed. However, now I look back it was probably the best year for me. I may not have made loads of friends and gone out a lot like every other 20 year old seems too, but I fixed my relationship with my parents and now know what I’m doing with my life. I have something to live for!
I don’t have a New Years resolution and I don’t think I’ll ever make one because every day is a new beginning. You shouldn’t feel pressured to start a fresh just because the calendar and society say so. I have some hopes for this year and deadlines to work towards but I’m not going to hold myself to expectations I might meet. Everyone is working at their own pace and you should never feel bad for not seeming to be moving as quickly as those around you.
You’re doing you’re best and are amazing for that! Don’t let anyone (or yourself) tell you otherwise!
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