Oh love, it’s so important for it to all come out. I really, really don’t mean this in a patronising way, but there’s no way I could do what you do. It’s great that the therapy is helping, you know that’s down to you. It can’t be easy.It helps so much, thank you and @Maid22
I feel weird saying that, but I know you guys get it.
The dog situation is just another shit thing on top of an already massive pile of shit things. She’s a massive worry as the concern is that she may have a tumour - she had one removed 2 years ago and now there’s a lump behaving in the same way and I’m terrified. My vet is amazing and has fitted her in Tuesday, as the next surgery spot they had was 3 weeks and she knew I wouldn’t cope waiting that long.
Therapy is finally beginning to feel like it’s doing something, and that in itself is hard. Poking at childhood wounds that have been buried my whole life, while the actual goal is to get control of PTSD which has taken over my every waking (and sleeping, actually) moment for 3 1/2 years.
Then I’m also weaning one lot of meds ready to swap onto new ones, so I’ve got side effects of withdrawal which are frankly awful.
All while solo parenting a teen and a pre-schooler. And a dog.
Some days I wonder how I’m surviving and then I realise I can’t think about it as actually it’s overwhelmingly terrifying because if I actually think about how much shit goes on day to day I will crumble.
Argh sorry. That all just came out.
I’m going back to the Hinch thread to use more swear words and let my rage out there at their reckless parenting!
Thank youOh love, it’s so important for it to all come out. I really, really don’t mean this in a patronising way, but there’s no way I could do what you do. It’s great that the therapy is helping, you know that’s down to you. It can’t be easy.
Omg withdrawal symptoms are hell, I really hope it passes soon. No-one prepares you for how crap it makes you feel, and the weird things like brain zaps.
Go get that Hinch!I do the same with Jack Monroe!
I've had a few bad weeks tbh, I've found the only way to deal with it is to shut down, like pretend to its nots happening, does that make any sense?Awww thank you @Maid22 you are so sweet, and I miss that too. I‘m glad you’re over the awkward feeling.
I’m ok really, just struggling a bit. I’ve not posted here much because I don’t even know what to say. How are you lovely?
I’m so sorry to hear that. It definitely makes sense though, I do that a lot more than I should.I've had a few bad weeks tbh, I've found the only way to deal with it is to shut down, like pretend to its nots happening, does that make any sense?
But I know when I'm well enough, I have to deal it with it, and I'm trying to do that now, really struggling with sleeps at the mo too xx
Tbh, abit like most of us on here, sometimes you have to muddle through, interesting post on here earlier, how do you function with everyday life, we just do, unless we hit that low where you don't give a fuck anymore, that's why I didn't like that comment on here, that attitude of 'just getting on with it, or pull your socks up (that's such an old saying, but one I've had alot!) All I can I say is come and live in my head for a week, then maybe you'll get it!I’m so sorry to hear that. It definitely makes sense though, I do that a lot more than I should.
Are you sure you’re well enough to deal with it? If you feel you are, then it’s great, and it’s worth trying. But you really have to be careful with yourself. Having a few bad weeks can really take it out of you xx
That’s a good point. I’m lucky enough to be able to work at the moment, and there’s times when I’m crying, then literally “switch“ and smile.Tbh, abit like most of us on here, sometimes you have to muddle through, interesting post on here earlier, how do you function with everyday life, we just do, unless we hit that low where you don't give a fuck anymore, that's why I didn't like that comment on here, that attitude of 'just getting on with it, or pull your socks up (that's such an old saying, but one I've had alot!) All I can I say is come and live in my head for a week, then maybe you'll get it!
That's the trouble nowadays, folks are using depression and anxiety as an excuse for everything! I watched a programme where a couple claimed benefits cos they couldn't work due to depression and anxiety, they were given a flat, they were out everyday, I was like fuck, Ive hardly left my house for months, sometimes couldn't even get out of bed, but hey ho, some folks get away with it, so wrongThat’s a good point. I’m lucky enough to be able to work at the moment, and there’s times when I’m crying, then literally “switch“ and smile.
Ugh I know. I was just talking about this on another thread. People don’t understand. They think that what helps you if you’re feeling a bit down will help with depression. But we try, and it doesn’t.
Yes! It’s a double edged sword because on one hand it’s good that more people are being open about mental illness and seeking help, but on the other… what you said. I could never do that, I don’t even mean it in a judgemental way, but when I have to explain things to people about something that’s happened because I’m depressed, it just makes me so ashamed you know?That's the trouble nowadays, folks are using depression and anxiety as an excuse for everything! I watched a programme where a couple claimed benefits cos they couldn't work due to depression and anxiety, they were given a flat, they were out everyday, I was like fuck, Ive hardly left my house for months, sometimes couldn't even get out of bed, but hey ho, some folks get away with it, so wrong
Thank you lovely, I have ventured into that music that music thread, there's a couple of posters on there I really like, but I've no idea how to post a vid, yep I'm a dinosaur!Yes! It’s a double edged sword because on one hand it’s good that more people are being open about mental illness and seeking help, but on the other… what you said. I could never do that, I don’t even mean it in a judgemental way, but when I have to explain things to people about something that’s happened because I’m depressed, it just makes me so ashamed you know?
But what you experience, like not being able to get out of bed, on this thread, we do understand, I read it and just think “yep”.
On a totally different note, since you’re a music lover*, (if you’ve not seen it yet) there’s a lovely thread here, Saturday night kitchen disco. You don’t even have to say much, we mainly just post YouTube videos at each other. No worries if it’s not your thing, but it often helps me feel less lonely and there’s some great songs.
* and for anyone else here
Saturday night kitchen disco #2
Keep on dancing here! Thank you to @DCICassieStuart for originally starting one of the best threads on Tattle 💃 Previous thread here - https://tattle.life/threads/saturday-night-kitchen-disco.11450/tattle.life
Totally understandThank you lovely, I have ventured into that music that music thread, there's a couple of posters on there I really like, but I've no idea how to post a vid, yep I'm a dinosaur!
Can I ask, how do I post a vid from you tube into that thread?Totally understand
Yes, let’s try it now! (If you want)Can I ask, how do I post a vid from you tube into that thread?
@Maid22 all you need to do is copy the link of whatever you want, then paste it in the box here where you type. Tattle magically converts it and adds the video xxCan I ask, how do I post a vid from you tube into that thread?
Thank you for the reply. Yes, I'm tying to figure out why I might be feeling the way I do and I wonder if it's because I've kind of had this low-grade depression for a while but not even realised it as such, despite knowing full well why.Oh absolutely possible.. I think you’ll find a lot of us here function ‘as normal’, go to work, get stuff done around the house, visit family… depression can be such a secret illness. I could be in the deepest pit when I wake up in the morning and not see the point in living at all but as soon as someone speaks to me in the office I’m all smiles. It’s a switch I can’t help.
Hope you are looking after yourself
I do hope that wasn't the post I made as I was just looking for a bit of insight to help with my understanding.Tbh, abit like most of us on here, sometimes you have to muddle through, interesting post on here earlier, how do you function with everyday life, we just do, unless we hit that low where you don't give a fuck anymore, that's why I didn't like that comment on here, that attitude of 'just getting on with it, or pull your socks up (that's such an old saying, but one I've had alot!) All I can I say is come and live in my head for a week, then maybe you'll get it!
I know how you are feeling, and how you must be dreading it. Do you use anything to distract/ground yourself in these situations? I have discreet fiddle things that I focus on.I’m going out today into the real world and I am terrified.
It’s my best friend’s wedding. I have to go. I want to go. It’s actually just the reception as they got married in New York two weeks ago, so this is a very relaxed evening thing. But I feel on the very edge of a panic attack.
I’m dropping my eldest to my mum, my youngest (and the dog) to his dad (which in itself is a stress), and then I’m carrying on from there. The drive itself is long. I’m not ready to leave home and I’m already exhausted - you know when your eyes are heavy and your brain is just off?
I do want to go. This is my very best friend. We have been through so much. She would understand completely if I said I couldn’t face it, and she would absolutely respect that, but I can’t.
I know I’m pushing myself too far, but I’m in this situation where I know I will feel worse (like a failure) if I don’t go.
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