The Chateau Diaries #53 The liar, the tit and the wardrobe

[MojoDublin]

As per rules swear words aren't allowed in title

Congratulations @Tellingthetruth123
The liar, the tit and the wardrobe

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Jikki2
Well-known member
Monday at 9:45 PM

#2
Thanks for the new thread @MojoDublin!

AAAnd thiiiiis iiiiis Gift Grab! *add ear-piercing laughter*

Welcome! We start with introducing today's contestants for the most plausible over the top screeches of "I love it!"
Center stage, as always, we have Stefanny! She brings a whiff of vintage with her floaty dress which was last washed in the 1970's.
Cara is there to overshadow Stefanny. Let's see how this plays out.
Sillymar with his daily glass of beer matching his red face and puffy eyes is nowhere to be seen.
We move on to Nutty who as per usual is not really following what is being said and retorts with the duck face.
Last we have a dying man in a ventilator behind the camera. I'm sorry, it turned out to be a walking mop with oversized nostrils. An easy mistake.

Let the excruciating OOHs and AAHs begin.
Let's see what's in the first box. And it's a humongous human head terracotta pot. Stefanny is finding it a little hard to tell how she loves it but luckily it will live in a dark corner of the garden.
Box two brings another poncho and, wait for it, toothbrushes! You can't make this sh!t up.
Now we suffer through sycophantic praise for the charlatan and uncover some sewing crap. I don't understand what it is but it will be thrown away for sure. Doesn't even..... THE SQUIRREL! Scream behind the camera for a postcard.

Gift for Davy but he has just left the Shitoo.
Then scraps of Chanel perfume that someone discarded. Really, they didn't like it so send it to the dump!
More stuff sent for Teabeg that he doesn't want.
And now the mop with nostrils opens.... yet more hedgehog gubbins. This time a mug.
More amazing "art". Looks like a scrap book on a frame. And it is decoupage of a mad tea party. Very apt.
Time for cheap jewellery. Nutty finds a lightbulb pendant. I wish a lightbulb would go on in her head, too.
The obligatory Spode moment follows with horrible trinket dish. And a second trinket dish.
Let's take a pause to munch some Philipino crisps before mop with nostrils gets a towel with a bunny. Not the sexy kind, just a bunny with a monocle because of a bunny with a monocle.

At this point the commentator has strained some muscles from rolling his eyes.

1846 lithograph with roses. Very, very pretentious sounding roses. She was getting her pants wet but in the end it looks very tatty.
There's a small package. Smaller than what Teabeg enjoys.
It's more seeds! No one cares anymore but she tries to make it sound like she's interested in the garden.
Line drawing of the farmhouse. Teenager level art. But guess who loves it?
Someone thinks Stefanny is doing good work with the gift grab. Oh the delusions of this person who has seen all the flogs. Ooh aah it's postcards and stolen photos made into a book. Dear Brenda style. They drag us through the past with the pics in the book. It goes on forever. And ever. And ever.

And what have we accumulated in the end? Just another abhorrent gag-inducing pile of mullock.

It's bed time for me. Time for a dose of Teabeg's daily flop. It's the best anesthetic I know. Selling it to hospitals would solve his money problems and he already has experience in the drug trade.
Last edited: Monday at 10:00 PM
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[skybluepink098]

Where is the video with Philip’s friend singing?

 

[OneMoonbeam]

Where is the video with Philip’s friend singing?

 

[Marty McFly 9]

I watched Success Stories, as I really enjoy Anna of Le Fleur, and I enjoyed hearing more of her story. Anna was, as one would expect, neat and fashionable, appropriately dressed, sitting in her very fresh, clean, classily decorated chateau. She sat with great posture. And maybe all that is Anna really made Marie look very unprofessional. She looked mussy and unkept. Her hair looked like it had static in it. Her blouse is gapping, her skirt way too short to be professional on a camera, and her posture, non existent. She really should have asked Anna for styling advice. Anna carried the interview. Sigh. I really want to stop having to read about Marie, but here I am typing about her. Like I want to move on from Cara, I want to move on from Marie ... now that her last interview with a French Chateau owner or character done, I shall move on.

Today's CD was SO much better than most of late. Stephanie seemed calmer ... being on screen with the salt of the earth types like Dan and Kirstie reall helped with this. I didn't like Philip when he first arrived last fall. Seemed he was such a know it all and tried WAY too hard to be a version of SJ ... but he sort of just became part of the picture for me, and I stopped being so irritated by him (I know, most of you will find this shocking!), but today was so refreshing not having him interact or be on screen with SJ for the first about 17 minutes of the vlog. It felt much more like the vlogs I enjoyed earlier on ... conclusion: Philip is BAD for SJ's brand and Dan & Kirstie are great for it!

Billy's vlog .... his stylizing just was too much for me. I like a good DIY of a room, but the close up of dripping paint etc etc .... ugh, I just felt like he tried too hard. I also don't care for his musical selection. BUT I did like that there wasn't talking for a lot of it, and a lot of know it all stuff that I find with the 2 Pethrick boys.

Thank you to the Patreon's who shared this weeks CD video for those of us who don't Patreon.

Still enjoying Dan's vlogs. They are a nice fun length with good music and photography, and an enjoyable person, even if the van going home footage has started to be a bit dull, I won't ever get tired of the drone footage of the French country side, nor the gardens and flying over the chateau.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

And this is what Patreon supporters got? A few short clips from their luna di miele in Tuscany and a rehash of July's vlogs. One thing on the video that impressed me was Maaike's singing voice (but not BJJ's impression of Kermit the Frog). The rest was a blah.

 

[BlackWolf]

Congrats @Tellingthetruth123

Some nice singing by the friend. The rest is just the usual yaddah yaddah.

 

[skybluepink098]

Thank you for the video! She has a great voice.

 

[Pekey]

Thank you for the video! She has a great voice.

I agree , she does have a lovely voice.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Yet another failed attempt by TrotterBoy. Let's rule out cooking video's as a way forward for him, he's too stupid to whip cream without turning it into butter and eagerly blames it on the French. By now it's not even a matter of lacking interesting content anymore, the moron lives in a chateau but his life is too boring at any angle. He's auditioning for the spot FlowerDestroyer left open by leaving and since they share the same low level of intelligence he probably will get hired.
Dana's cooking was only remotely related to anything French, at best it was her attempted interpretation. I'm sure it tasted okay although it lacked Dan's finesse in presentation, but I found her recommendations of her own efforts annoying and pretentious, which are actually better characteristics to describe her presence anyway. I know some of you find her sexy and interesting, but in real life she really is not perceived that way. SJ's revenge on Dan was but a pale infusion of his tongue-in-cheek intro and as she has proven before in that weird movie we all enjoyed clips from and that unsurprisingly never got a proper release, an actress she will never be, at least not a very credible one. But her trying, I will admit, made up for some of the boring content she offered lately. Still, SJ should pay close attention to TrotterBoy's downfall, because the same faith is rapidly rising for her too.

 

[Pekey]

He's auditioning for the spot FlowerDestroyer left open by leaving and since they share the same low level of intelligence he probably will get hired.

Sure seems like he is trying to get her spot !
To me he always looks embarrassed and his videos are very , very "try hard" !

 

[Ginginger]

So, do we maybe know where Gwendoline’s wealth has come from now? Being a Mouchel may be just being one of many who have this surname. The Lesaffre/l’Hirondelle yeast extract empire has been in her family since 1853?! This is a company that has recently had over 2 billion euros for revenue, with factories all over the world! “It’s still owned by the family now”, says MP.
(Some of the ancestry ‘tree’ is on-line)

 

[Diesel]

No double cream for whipped cream in France according to MPK

Maybe he should just buy the right stuff (and that's not some strange powder).

He produced butter

 

[toilingwiththetoile]

Yet another failed attempt by TrotterBoy. Let's rule out cooking video's as a way forward for him, he's too stupid to whip cream without turning it into butter and eagerly blames it on the French. By now it's not even a matter of lacking interesting content anymore, the moron lives in a chateau but his life is too boring at any angle. He's auditioning for the spot FlowerDestroyer left open by leaving and since they share the same low level of intelligence he probably will get hired.
Dana's cooking was only remotely related to anything French, at best it was her attempted interpretation. I'm sure it tasted okay although it lacked Dan's finesse in presentation, but I found her recommendations of her own efforts annoying and pretentious, which are actually better characteristics to describe her presence anyway. I know some of you find her sexy and interesting, but in real life she really is not perceived that way. SJ's revenge on Dan was but a pale infusion of his tongue-in-cheek intro and as she has proven before in that weird movie we all enjoyed clips from and that unsurprisingly never got a proper release, an actress she will never be, at least not a very credible one. But her trying, I will admit, made up for some of the boring content she offered lately. Still, SJ should pay close attention to TrotterBoy's downfall, because the same faith is rapidly rising for her too.

I agree the butter churner made me wonder exactly what he is trying to achieve with these vlogs (besides money honey) - is he going for humour? Playing dumb? Using Andrew as his 'straightman' like Filllip Fleuries uses Nathan? All he ever does is say something to Andrew and record his blank reaction. We know this man does not speak English, any one tuning in for the first time will wonder whats wrong with Andrew, is he an employee who drives teabegs around, and thinks he does not deserve an answer? Clearly trotter boy is not even thinking about new viewers. He is living in a chateau in France with rubbish French. Maybe he could let Andrew say things use YT's captions. He seems to me to be insulting the intelligence of his viewers, and Andrew. Maybe he has taken that do Dan type vlogs advice with two fingers in the air to all. He didn't even try to edit the first part of the flour run properly. Makes me wonder if before he paid someone on Fiverr to get his vlogs sorted...this lot is a shambles.

Sure seems like he is trying to get her spot !
To me he always looks embarrassed and his videos are very , very "try hard" !

I agree, I cringe at the bloody obvious he struggles to make as interesting. Any French chateau owner must be wondering what fresh hell has happened to their history with this lot vlogging - send money we cannot afford what we bought - craft events for expats - success stories for the bewildered - mishaps that need more funding. I hope the Fleuries continue to rise above all this chaos. I noticed Anna nearly tripped and choked over naming teabegs channel. That should have been edited out FRK. Or does Sara do the editing? Time will weed out all the channels who have presenters who are just wind socks. Searching for direction that will gain the most views.

Billy's vlog .... his stylizing just was too much for me. I like a good DIY of a room, but the close up of dripping paint etc etc .... ugh, I just felt like he tried too hard. I also don't care for his musical selection. BUT I did like that there wasn't talking for a lot of it, and a lot of know it all stuff that I find with the 2 Pethrick boys.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Much improved CD I actually laughed out loud she was shouting from the balcony and dived behind the hedge
Although why is BJJ sitting with the guests

 

[BlackWolf]

I agree the butter churner made me wonder exactly what he is trying to achieve with these vlogs (besides money honey) - is he going for humour? Playing dumb? Using Andrew as his 'straightman' like Filllip Fleuries uses Nathan? All he ever does is say something to Andrew and record his blank reaction. We know this man does not speak English, any one tuning in for the first time will wonder whats wrong with Andrew, is he an employee who drives teabegs around, and thinks he does not deserve an answer? Clearly trotter boy is not even thinking about new viewers. He is living in a chateau in France with rubbish French. Maybe he could let Andrew say things use YT's captions. He seems to me to be insulting the intelligence of his viewers, and Andrew. Maybe he has taken that do Dan type vlogs advice with two fingers in the air to all. He didn't even try to edit the first part of the flour run properly. Makes me wonder if before he paid someone on Fiverr to get his vlogs sorted...this lot is a shambles.


I agree, I cringe at the bloody obvious he struggles to make as interesting. Any French chateau owner must be wondering what fresh hell has happened to their history with this lot vlogging - send money we cannot afford what we bought - craft events for expats - success stories for the bewildered - mishaps that need more funding. I hope the Fleuries continue to rise above all this chaos. I noticed Anna nearly tripped and choked over naming teabegs channel. That should have been edited out FRK. Or does Sara do the editing? Time will weed out all the channels who have presenters who are just wind socks. Searching for direction that will gain the most views.

I thank you as now I don't need to watch them, saves my breakfast. We need some ranked medals to award those who go above and beyond the call of duty...you are now mentioned in dispatches!

 

[toilingwiththetoile]

Billy's vlog .... his stylizing just was too much for me. I like a good DIY of a room, but the close up of dripping paint etc etc .... ugh, I just felt like he tried too hard. I also don't care for his musical selection. BUT I did like that there wasn't talking for a lot of it, and a lot of know it all stuff that I find with the 2 Pethrick boys.

I am a bit suss with Billy's vlogs - someone else is putting this together - I may be wrong but it just looks paid for. Upload footage to an editor. Billy has no idea how to record his own round up - get ya head in shot - but clearly takes time to grab b roll - which is edited well. Smoke and gilded mirrors. Laughed when he said that the wallpaper did not arrive so it is PAINT..umm whats the hurry here? Guest arriving? Was not your brother going to wall paper this room for you? Too busy filming tea cake disasters to step in. I would have waited for the wall paper - how much of that green does a gardeners cottage and a chateau need???

 

[Pekey]

I am a bit suss with Billy's vlogs - someone else is putting this together - I may be wrong but it just looks paid for. Upload footage to an editor. Billy has no idea how to record his own round up - get ya head in shot - but clearly takes time to grab b roll - which is edited well. Smoke and gilded mirrors. Laughed when he said that the wallpaper did not arrive so it is PAINT..umm whats the hurry here? Guest arriving? Was not your brother going to wall paper this room for you? Too busy filming tea cake disasters to step in. I would have waited for the wall paper - how much of that green does a gardeners cottage and a chateau need???

I really can see Andrew going back to Madrid .
It must be so boring not really knowing what is being said around you all the time.
God, I hope Teabag is not starting up a cooking channel .

 

[toilingwiththetoile]

I really can see Andrew going back to Madrid .
It must be so boring not really knowing what is being said around you all the time.
God, I hope Teabag is not starting up a cooking channel .

YES - worse still some twit is filming your lack of response with no explanation.Andrew will be gone when the snow sets in. God forbid he starts a cooking channel - he only gets he cannot make a cake without flour till the camera rolls - LOL Imagine Nigella going - "so now I have the amazing cake to share with you..but I first have to get the ingredients from the store. Stay tuned" People watching would do an eye roll.

 

[Jikki2]

Billy has removed a video or videos from public view on Sunday with over 50K views. I wonder what that was about?

 

[toilingwiththetoile]

Much improved CD I actually laughed out loud she was shouting from the balcony and dived behind the hedge
Although why is BJJ sitting with the guests

I have no idea how BJJ fits into this new format in CD - he comments on towel rack placements with a thank you - has friends stay that get air time - buys stuff to feather a nest. Nothing is real here.

Billy has removed a video or videos from public view on Sunday with over 50K views. I wonder what that was about?

Good find - that is interesting.