The Chateau Diaries #52 SJ and BJJ, under the Tuscan sun. A honeymoon or a holiday?

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Yo @Marquis de Potpourri

Just a debriefing

Apparently from the sect of Stephanoligy…. Our ranks have been infiltrated…

Q was all over it sharpish …

However the aforementioned toe tag spat it’s load in less than 8 posts ..
The irony is … had they stayed undercover… we’d have been none the lesser for their grift

Need updates … how was the first 2 chateau ( without need for repair ) -

think that quote sent them spiritually elsewhere

Awaiting the next baiting - you always mange to … Rise above the riffraff

Try lose your little .. friend ..

Secure line - if intel is ready
M

evening Stephanoligy…. Did the crack about not looking as hot as mini in 35 year sting
have to say it as I see it

Infiltrated. Love that! Thanks, @MojoDublin !

NOT TO DERAIL

Story Time, Tattlers!
To anyone new here, I joined Tattle Life after MPK's first woe-is-me vlog! Before that, I was a super fan and supporter and Patreon. Long before discovering the chateauverse on YouTube or becoming a patron, my fiancee and I have always wanted to invest in a vacation home in France, preferably a manoir or a chateau that can double as a business that someone else could eventually manage/run for us. It was that desire that led us to discover the "chateauverse" on YouTube! When MPK mentioned about the website where people "write nasty things" about chateau owners on his woe-is-me vlog, I searched for the said site and found it (obviously)! Reading the discussions here made me question the integrity of these chatelaines. The more I read, the more I grew indignant over the grifting. Soon after joining Tattle, I jumped into the discussion actively. To this day, I am still indignant towards grifters because I was a victim of scrounging!

My fiancee and I are almost in our mid-20s, and our dream to have a vacation house in France hasn't changed. I've mentioned it a few times in past threads. We are treating it as how anyone would buying a house anywhere else. We are fully vaccinated, allowed to travel, and we follow protocols to a tee (my fiancee is a medical professional). In fact, I'm surprised how open it is here in Paris than it is in NYC. So, until grifting happens, no one has the right to dress anyone down for pursuing their dreams in an honest (non grifting) way.

Fin. Carry on.

 

[Jikki2]

Thanks for the new thread @MojoDublin!

AAAnd thiiiiis iiiiis Gift Grab! *add ear-piercing laughter*

Welcome! We start with introducing today's contestants for the most plausible over the top screeches of "I love it!"
Center stage, as always, we have Stefanny! She brings a whiff of vintage with her floaty dress which was last washed in the 1970's.
Cara is there to overshadow Stefanny. Let's see how this plays out.
Sillymar with his daily glass of beer matching his red face and puffy eyes is nowhere to be seen.
We move on to Nutty who as per usual is not really following what is being said and retorts with the duck face.
Last we have a dying man in a ventilator behind the camera. I'm sorry, it turned out to be a walking mop with oversized nostrils. An easy mistake.

Let the excruciating OOHs and AAHs begin.
Let's see what's in the first box. And it's a humongous human head terracotta pot. Stefanny is finding it a little hard to tell how she loves it but luckily it will live in a dark corner of the garden.
Box two brings another poncho and, wait for it, toothbrushes! You can't make this sh!t up.
Now we suffer through sycophantic praise for the charlatan and uncover some sewing crap. I don't understand what it is but it will be thrown away for sure. Doesn't even..... THE SQUIRREL! Scream behind the camera for a postcard.

Gift for Davy but he has just left the Shitoo.
Then scraps of Chanel perfume that someone discarded. Really, they didn't like it so send it to the dump!
More stuff sent for Teabeg that he doesn't want.
And now the mop with nostrils opens.... yet more hedgehog gubbins. This time a mug.
More amazing "art". Looks like a scrap book on a frame. And it is decoupage of a mad tea party. Very apt.
Time for cheap jewellery. Nutty finds a lightbulb pendant. I wish a lightbulb would go on in her head, too.
The obligatory Spode moment follows with horrible trinket dish. And a second trinket dish.
Let's take a pause to munch some Philipino crisps before mop with nostrils gets a towel with a bunny. Not the sexy kind, just a bunny with a monocle because of a bunny with a monocle.

At this point the commentator has strained some muscles from rolling his eyes.

1846 lithograph with roses. Very, very pretentious sounding roses. She was getting her pants wet but in the end it looks very tatty.
There's a small package. Smaller than what Teabeg enjoys.
It's more seeds! No one cares anymore but she tries to make it sound like she's interested in the garden.
Line drawing of the farmhouse. Teenager level art. But guess who loves it?
Someone thinks Stefanny is doing good work with the gift grab. Oh the delusions of this person who has seen all the flogs. Ooh aah it's postcards and stolen photos made into a book. Dear Brenda style. They drag us through the past with the pics in the book. It goes on forever. And ever. And ever.

And what have we accumulated in the end? Just another abhorrent gag-inducing pile of mullock.

It's bed time for me. Time for a dose of Teabeg's daily flop. It's the best anesthetic I know. Selling it to hospitals would solve his money problems and he already has experience in the drug trade.

 

[NotAChatelaine]

Just to slightly derail, but it does relate to a running topic within the CD threads so.may I beg your collective indulgence for a moment. Not all of those who remain unvaccinated are in any way anti-vax. It might only be a tiny percentage but there are those - me included - who have health "issues" which might be exacerbated by the vaccine, and it's too much of a risk to take the chance. Whether anything untoward would happen is impossible to predict and is like asking how long is a piece of string. There's no definitive answer. But after weighing up the pros and cons of my ongoing situation vs an unknown quantity, and based on conversations with my GP, a consultant and a friend who's a retired consultant physician, I remain jobless. It means that life, or my little world at home, for the time being continues to be within closed borders, as it has been since last year. Which isn't a whole heap of fun. I'm not looking for sympathy or playing the martyrdom card...to use a Davyism, "it is what it is".

Anyways (!), back on track...

I've been mulling over Friar Ivo. I get the distinct whiff of eau de poisson. I need to watch/listen to Sunday's vlog again, although I'm not sure I've got the necessary calm karma to suffer SJ in her Pucci frock and toile de Jouy kitten heels all over again! I also want to try to persuade Gargle/Gargoyle Translate to cooperate and turn some obscure discussion forum I found from Catalan into English. It's probably red herring sleuthing and completely irrelevant to CD. But I'm both fascinated and bewildered by the - apparent - enormous wealth swirling around Ivo. And the vast and eclectic collection of antiquities and artefacts in the chateau makes me wonder about their provenance, and how he came to acquire them. A profiteer? A privateer?

One thing is clear: he's NOT a knight in the sense of being a baronet (UK hereditary title). The Forensa family is well-known and well-connected but, as far as I can make out, he's not a Spanish/Catalan/Andorran nobleman. The knight/baronet reference in the auction details of items from his private collection - as cited in the last thread - is sloppy (but eye-catching) copywriting by the Singapore auction house. It relates to Knights Templar...the conversation in the "Christian Salon" is what sent me headlong down a rabbit hole.

That's enough about that. Moving on to FRK and her relentless quest to get everything for nothing and have the world handed to her on a plate. Her guest appearance on the Fleurie's Sunday vlog surely to goodness will have posed questions with all but the most stalwart/blind/dim of her supporters about what exactly they are supporting? It was an avalanche in slow motion. She really does not have a clue. She knows nothing about - and cares even less - flowers, except for a few names which she drops into conversation. Hydrangeagate was unintentionally hilarious. She's a one trick pony with the "florals" she produces. I hope that's the end of the vlogging BFF she has engineered and wheedled her way into with Anna. The change of title and thumbnail was telling. Perhaps they suddenly saw the light? No doubt the "interview" with Anna will be every bit as painful and unsuccessful as the ones before. There are many reasons why Marie's foray into interviewing is so excruciating, not least that she lacks the skills required (doing her homework, asking pertinent questions and listening to the answers would be a start).

And then Marie embarking on the next phase of global domination with her return to England. With nowhere to live. To do what exactly, other than peddle some half-baked credo that relies heavily on emotional blackmail? No firm plans beyond returning to France for her first (and only?) wedding flowers' commission plus the Team Lalande outing to Versailles for Phlip-Phlop's birthday. Which is a joke in itself, as she patently loathes BJJ.

At best, Marie is certainly not short of self belief. At worst, she takes delusion to a level beyond the intergalactic. All while manipulating suckers to cough up,and fuel her Walter Mitty manifesto (and her car!).

Just one more thing. Stephane: my gut instinct is that she has been rattled by patrons suddenly becoming more assertive, more questioning, more demanding in terms of asking probing questions about work in progress, a schedule or works, time frames, future projects, project management, costings. Being held to account is not in her psyche. She needs to keep the patrons sweet. Transparency. Organised. Efficient. Focus. The scattergun approach towards her grandiose schemes and her not inconsiderable charm is not enough if she doesn't want patrons to vote with their feet.

Incidentally, i was chatting to a friend who drives to and from the South of France quite frequently, breaking the journey each way with an over-nighter at a chateau/manoir type B&B (not hellholes in the middle of nowhere). They quite often chose to have the table d'hote supper en famille with the B&B host. She said that €35 p.h. Is the absolute maximum she and her husband would pay: drink & amuse bouche pre supper, starter, main course, cheese, pudding - wine with the meal, perhaps a digestif offered with coffee afterwards. Delicious food - simple, locally sourced if not homegrown, beautifully cooked, elegantly presented in lovely surroundings, interesting and convivial conversation. She couldn't speak for laughing when I told her what one got for the Lalande Experience at €50 p.h.

Way, way too long a post. If you've read to the end, I can say only that I'm very greatful

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Vaccination - paramount !!!
If for nothing else - I’d like the oldest generation alive to have a mocume of relief and ability to come back out in society - safely

I hope the Marquis has had a successful trip viewing-
it’s an enormous step to change direction in ones life …
not for the faint hearted

But taking that step … priceless

The universe adores those that try …
More power to them

Thanks.
Paris looks especially dreary this morning—overcast and rainy. So, it’s in-room breakfast for me while the fiancee is doing her working out downstairs.

The viewing begins today. We’re checking out a total of ten chateaux and we’re viewing the first two today, both are in the same area two hours away from Paris!

 

[Heathcliffe]

I loved the spoof of Dan's vlog, the lady is an entertainer! Dana was wearing fuck-me-shoes in the kitchen, and she can cook...I'd give her one. Young lord Snorts sits at the head of the table! I just cannot figure this one out. I now had him placed as a BFF crossdresser,but then when he left to drive his friend to airport he gave the Lady of the Lake the most intimate look, the one you only give a lady who takes your bone. I am not watching Begboy, so please keep me updated on him and bored out of his wits Andrew. Marie is OUTOFHERE, so lets leave the boring maid in peace. Her food is boring, her flowers are dull, her vlogs are terrible, goodbye long time ago Marie. Now this fat wool lady, - is she trying to say we are racist, homophobic and whatnot? We are not. Tattle enjoy diversity. And seems to me everyone here are applauding fat ladies no end, they are beautiful beyond belief according to Tattle, so she has according to me nada to complain about. We have lots of gays here, we like diversity, we are a community of colour and we treat each other with love and respect. But we speak the truth about CD and other vloggers that come our way, that is only fair. The devils advocate should always be present. My goodness Dana has a sexy voice. Can't wait to see Tatiana, my wife is also very eager. When she arrives there must be drama...bound to be.

 

[Jeeves]

Just for laughs...... poor delusional Caroline!

 

[Gibson]

DIO - Day 4 was alerted to the fact that MP was bleating on again about his stolen wall paper design and sure enough - showing the evidence of his work on the design. I don't think that was ever in dispute. What was in dispute was that he was paid once (and reportedly twice) for his work. So I had a look - he does not have originals, copyright is owned by D&A so legal action out of the question. Think he is trying to provoke D&A again. Not a good idea. I think he wants them to take the action, have his day in court and win. It won't work MP. All his fans are telling him to design more stuff and they will buy it - have they not learned that he does not take anything past the finishing line - they will be waiting like mugs, for their mugs for ever.

I would happily pay into a Go Fund Me account for Dick and Angel to sue the backside off that scrounging little sh*t. He is the lowest of the low and I have no sympathy whatsoever for him. They happily have some traction (I quite like that phrase) to link themselves to ETTCDIY when it suits.
He needs to get off his backside, do some work and gain some self respect.

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

And now he's trying to convince viewers that he's living in the cottage when everyone knows he lives in the château ...

*** PROVERB OF THE WEEK ***

NOTHING SCROUNGED, NOTHING GAINED

and not just staying in the chateau but in the mother-f*cking BRIDAL SUITE!

what does he do at the chateau right now to earn his keep:

• he clipped a few tomatoes (while whining about getting COVID vaccine and providing disinformation about same)
• went to someone else’s chateau and gave unsolicited advice (while whining that he wanted to buy it first) and BS’ed his way through with a dissertation devoid of correct facts (see: his discussions of wallpaper and 19th century glue),
• polished a coal scuttle (barely) (I couldn‘t watch so I don’t know what he was whining about-but if his lips are moving he’s whining or scrounging)
• he made several pots of tea (while whining about everything)
• scrounged for appliances (while whining about electricity?)

and finally, though not relevant to his work to stay situation,


tracing paper doesn’t make you an artist-it makes you a copier

 

[Clara Burnett]

first of all i would say .keep your fountain clean...a dirty fountain is horrible....but i guess they are used to being not clean..they dont clean...anything..

I visited the HMN once, as I explained before. Upon my arrival I had to clean the bathroom of the room I was offered becuase it most certainly wasn't cleaned in quite some time, I had to ask for toilet paper AND clean towels, because the towel that was in there had mud stains on it (I still like to think they were mud stains...). The bed was made, but the sheets were not exactly clean. So yes, you are right, they dont clean anything...

 

[Tellingthetruth123]

#53 The liar, the shit and the wardrobe

 

[Its-me]

I surprisingly liked the chateau in Teabag's latest video! It was a manageable size, and with ten acres and multiple outbuildings, the price was very good as well (of course will take a good million to make it what it should be!)

View attachment 705629

And teabag said in sundays vlog he views it 4 years ago because he wanted to buy it lol he cant even finis the cottage and had to beg money to renovate that imagine the begging vlogs if he bought a chateau

 

[elizabethrex]

Observations on tonight’s Gift Grab:

Cara is sweet.

SJ opening the terracotta head: “He will… he will definitely be here” this is our proof that not everything opened at the chateau STAYS at the chateau

Choppy edit at 1:34 where Cara is talking, why did they edit what she was saying?

I like Dana.

Hate the way SJ reads out the gushing cards from the super fans, why can’t she say “and there are some kind words about me, thank you”, it is so weird how she reads every word about herself, comes across as really arrogant to do that. Maybe read the kind words about the volunteers but we don’t need to hear every compliment you get yourself please

 

[Gibson]

Ahi ahi ahi
Tattle life is on sky news
accused of bullying influencers

I personally don't feel influenced by the Chateau Vloggers.

I am not inclined to party in Madrid with rent boys.
I don't feel the urge to buy Spode.
I am not influenced to dress in second hand brocante unwashed clothes.
I don't feel the urge to buy stuffed squirrels.

Admittedly they are a bad influence for their lifestyle of begging on the Internet for holidays and material goods...I'm not inclined to do that either.

 

[Espe]

It makes me angry when these YouTubers think they can enter any shop and film, regardless of all the other shoppers, and touch and film products but not buy them. No wonder MPK and co were asked to stop filming; they have a nerve, and he was so loud. If I was in a shop or a public place, I'd be furious if I saw that I was going to end up on someone's vlog. They never ask anyone for permission, either!

And why do people think others want to see what's in their fridge at home? If they can make a living filming themselves shopping and showing what's in their cupboards, I have obviously wasted my life, getting up and going out to work every day. If I am reincarnated, I'll just start filming the contents of my kitchen cupboards next time! Just hoping I will not be reincarnated as a bat or hedgehog, heaven knows where I could end up!

 

[Pekey]

since you have been brave to say your story

Well , here is mine .
After talking to my Respiratory and Cardiac doctors I decided to have the injections.
It was a risk but if I caught covid I would not have a chance.
I have been on ventilators three times in my life in ICU and I do not want to go back there again if I can help it.
In the end its up to everyone to decided what they want/need to do .

 

[Cocktail Corner]

I have woken up this morning, caught up with the threads, and decided that I must be either too old, too stupid, or too ill to understand this world any more. We all have different opinions here on a range of subjects, and the 'ignore and scroll on past' advice ensures that this corner of Tattler world is a great place to hang out. I love it. It is somewhat unique in its diversity and tolerance, as far as gossip sites go (at least the ones I have come across).

But, this morning, I find out on Tattle that the pandemic is over (without any telling me). Did I sleep longer than I thought?

We have spent months on here screaming and shouting about the irresponsible attitudes of our favourite vloggers in regards to travelling around unnecessarily, even if the rules say they can. And this morning, suddenly, we are applauding and encouraging one of our own beloved VIPs for a trip to France for the purposes of a chateau hunt? I've woken up in parallel universe. I used to feel so at home here.
Scroll on past me, I'm going back to bed.

 

[KiKiGee]

Cara,
Thank you again for your insight. Sad to see you go.

fat_girl_on_a_bike

you guys! apparently im fat! how come no one told me?!

i tend to not care what folks think of my appearance. i am what i am. but as my ig account is growing since my chateau visit i thought id just remind everyone new: it's none of my business what you think of me, so have at. scroll through my photos here and you will see unflattering faces, lotsa rolls, baggy teats, chubber knees and enough untidiness to keep tongues wagging for an eternity. you'll also see a missus who thinks that if she is in a photo, then it's a great photo. i am a wild, unruly beast. i gotta be this big and burly to eat dudes in pick up trucks when they harass me on my bike. chomp chomp.
those of you who love my big wobbly, hobbly, flobbly body can get agood gawk in by yputubing 'cadeaux at the chateau' where i am my usual charming and hilarious self. #ayaycaptain
21m

 

[purejuice]

I surprisingly liked the chateau in Teabag's latest video! It was a manageable size, and with ten acres and multiple outbuildings, the price was very good as well (of course will take a good million to make it what it should be!)

View attachment 705629

I think we Tattlers should buy it, hire local nubile shirtless people, many of them, to carry out our sustainable and elegant restoration and renovation in record time; with a well-developed plan for artisanal chateau product produced by locals and sold online, as well as culture/botany events/hikes and vocational training in the foregoing for locals; interesting vlogs, with plenty of old French farmers and their willow wands, and willowy hippie goat maidens, and troglodyte wolf folk lore, French grannies cooking or making liqueur, and gorgeous Charolais beauties glowing in the twilight. Us old ones could bunk on the ground floor except in the tango ball room parlor, where what have you, from tatting to bagpiping, clogging and tai chi and tattle would be taking place. Nubile worker youths at the top, nice showers, good food, fair wage. Middle aged worker bees second floor sunning themselves before going to work with the oldies at the chateau's vlogging and social media and online sales studios in the spectacularly refinished donjon.
Imagine how many shutter dogs, cheese culture envelopes, crotch-flashing tango lessons, gay travel tips, nettle beer recipes and chav hair dye kits we could sell. Not to mention all the goods we dumpster dive off Lalande. And treat in our popular €2500 a week tragic French granny tat fumigation workshops.
A huge immaculate swimming pool with plenty of shade for those of us of the pasty white Celtic persuasion. Huge immaculate wifi.
We'd scare the piss out of them.
We could call it Chateau Cancans.

 

[Jikki2]

Please, vote here!

 

[MarquisOfNadaillac]

I thought today's Teabeg vlog (Day 3) was another yawnfest.

I did think it was pretty conceited and arrogant at the beginning when he mentions that it's just us and "a few hundred thousand subscribers". Right now his daily flogs are averaging like 50,000 a video which is not great for someone with over 200K (bought!) subscribers.

Also, no WAY he could afford that place and the renovation costs 4 years ago, or even now. What a waste of time for the realtor showing it to him!