Lost viewers, boo hoo. Need to go back to vlogging like his friend Stephanie, with a phone, I’m too professional now, boo hoo. Mummy sending video from the gardener’s cottage; it is a wreck.
I really liked him and gave him major grace. Pfft. Waste of space.
He should have kept his mother's video to himself. Did he really think seeing the unfinished greenhouse and dead/overgrown garden would impress the grannies? It pissed me off to see the cobbled path he, his dad, and bro painstakingly laid all overgrown with weeds
Again with that stoopid Potter box! Is he trying to channel her? Will he dress up as her, hunch over that box and write his rodent story?
And that pocket square? How out of touch is he?
And a subscription site that gives the privilege of purchasing from Peth & Co.? Maybe if he was an established, prolific artist with renoun and reputation, but not right out of the box!
Shipping his Spode to Spain? If he's so enamored with and English garden and all the trappings, why doesn't he just go back? He makes a tea and crumpet nest wherever he goes.
Monty the pig ran away and was never seen again. :-(
He's really delusional.
I'm over him.
I'm tempted to send him a framed print of these. The'll look lovely in his studio.
Who has time to make squirrel memes? But if I had time.
SJ please, please buy me hair plugs like Petheric or I will kill yet another dog.
SJ please, please buy me smelly forks, wonky lamps, broken things, rugs with pee stains, ugly tulip holders, useless chair I will never reupholster because staple-gunning that little pink stool broke something inside of me or I will starve the cat, that won’t work he has a friend now. I will kill the chickens oh they are already dead, I will kill the peacocks, oh we have 30 that is too much work, I will kill the sheep oh it’s on hospice already well then I will just continue to kill this channel! (With my weirdness)
I pulled out my big crystal balls and took a look at 2030 Lalande.
Fanny, FiFi have been imprisoned for tax evasion and convicted of assholeism. @MojoDublin has bought Lalande and rechristened it le Château des Quinze Hagsetfags. We all have keys and an apartment.
Once a year it is open to Fanny's Patreons but only to peek inside the windows; they are not fed, but Marie has been given permission to park her food truck just outside the gate just in case they hanker for some slop sprinkled with pepitas.
From the back lawn, we're watching the nighttime spectacular taking place on the restored lake (Patreons can only view from the forecourt.)
We have also adopted Galahad, Ruby, and the rest of the Lalande critters. They are all alive, thriving, and well-cared for (the peacocks have been neutered.)
I was inspired by your lovely idea & this beautiful picture of Filth. Here’s a special edition bespoke tile in the style of Skidmark’s pretend upcoming kitchen backsplash. I hope tartlets will use it in their own homes for a kitchen, bathroom or fireplace renovation or as a unique coaster for their fancy Christmas wine. Available here on tattle as a complimentary screenshot or in my Zazzle store for $150,000 / €127,513.05.
Here is my story about a portion of my childhood in middle Tennessee:
My maternal grandparents grew up in farm country in middle Tennessee and I had a few relatives who owned and primarily worked tobacco farms in Tennessee for decades. A couple of them had farms with vegetables, cows, etc. but in Tennessee tobacco farming was a big industry. Tobacco farming was a tough business. I had a friend in high school whose father decided that he was acting way too entitled and spoiled (which was very true) and made him work full time for two summers in high school at a tobacco farm, and had to help harvest and bind up a bunch of tobacco. He claimed was the hardest work he’d ever done. His hands were rough, cut and stained with tobacco, his back hurt constantly, and he was exhausted daily. He learned to respect the other men who are working beside him at the tobacco farm and then decided to get more serious about his studies at school.
When I was growing up, for about 35 years or so, my grandparents maintained a small piece of farm land outside of Nashville in a very small, rural community (they had 40 acres) which they would love to go and work on the weekends with their friends, neighbors, and relatives. They leased out 30 acres to a neighboring farmer, who would place some of his cows on the property and would also mow other areas of the land for my grandparents and in return could keep and use bales of hay generated from the property. He would also watch out over the property during the week while my grandparents were working in Nashville.
There was a small house built in 1910 with a lone creaky, old window air conditioning unit that did a little to nothing to cool down the house in the very hot, humid Tennessee summers. My grandparents would run fans in the house and would sit on the front porch in rocking chairs at night with visiting relatives/neighbors, and tell us to stop whining about the heat/humidity or no television and that they had it much worse growing up in the country with no air-conditioning at all. They would listen to the grand old Opry, the Ralph Emery Show, and the farmers report on the radio when they were at the farmhouse.
My grandparents would take one grandchild at a time to stay with them on the weekend or even a week ( if they had vacation time) when they went to work the 10 acres of vegetables, etc., that they and other friends and neighbors had planted on the land, and to do general maintenance on the property. They would run fans in the house, but it got extremely hot and humid in the summer.
There were wild blackberries all over the property and my grandparents would have us pick buckets and buckets of blackberries to make blackberry jam. Your hands would be rough, stained with blackberry juice and punctured by blackberry thorns. We would whine that we were hot but picked bushels of blackberries. They would have us work the acres of vegetables, pick strawberries, dig up potatoes, pick pumpkins, peaches, eggplants, squash, zucchini, watermelons, corn, etc. We would have to shuck bushels and bushels of newly picked corn, which always freaked me out if you discovered a worm. My grandmother would spend months making canned homemade pickles, jams, squash, beans, okra, peaches, canned tomatoes, creamed corn, etc.
She would trade out some of her blackberries for blueberries from other local farmers. There was only one tiny, one room, wood clad store in the community and if you worked hard that day, my grandfather would take you to the tiny store. We would drive miles to the store over dusty, rural gravel roads on a hot, humid summer night, with Johnny Cash music playing in the car, and the car windows rolled down, and my grandfather would buy you an RC cola from a stand alone RC freezer, a chocolate moon pie, and a slightly melted Goo Goo Cluster. We would be elated. You cannot get more 1970’s rural Tennessee than that experience. The people who worked at the store knew the name of everyone in the community and would greet you by name when you walk through the door. They had locals who would play checkers and chess on boards set up on the porch outside of the store.
My grandparents always told us to leave the cows next door alone, not to mess with them, and that they could be unpredictable. When it got hot in the summer, depending on where they were located, there were days when it was awfully fragrant with all the cow patties generated from the herd, especially when the warm wind increased before a thunderstorm.
My brother was a classic dumbass and when he was about nine years old decided to chase one of the cows, and the cow turned around and started to chase him. He narrowly escaped being trampled and was able to slip through the fence at the last minute. He got into so much trouble with my grandparents but was so scared by this huge cow chasing him that he never did it again.
My grandfather purchased a pony called Oreo for the grandkids to ride but unbeknownst to my grandfather, Oreo had a history of pretty much hating all kids and people and immediately bucked my cousin off of him, causing my cousin to sustain a broken arm. My crying cousin was taken to the hospital and had his broken bone set and put into a plaster cast which we all signed. Oreo then quickly went to live a peaceful, happy solo life (unbothered by pesky humans who wanted to ride him) with the farmer next-door and no one ever attempted to ride him again but we could watch him in the fields with the other horses. The end.
Just when Fanny thought it was safe !!!!! Clearly, some things things run deep with Selmar.
Let’s hope the rabid fans watch this interestingly, Selmar says he was ‘forced’ to take the video down back then.
If you need to vent, come back to Tattle Selmar
Just when Fanny thought it was safe !!!!! Clearly, some things things run deep with Selmar.
Let’s hope the rabid fans watch this interestingly, Selmar says he was ‘forced’ to take the video down back then.
If you need to vent, come back to Tattle Selmar
I spoke to Selmar about 3 years ago & he was a very nice gentleman. I definitely believe what he has to say about his time at the chateau. Seems like they really did a number on him. Their words didn’t match their actions & then their words actually did their own damage. If you blow rainbows & glitter up people’s bums & tell them they are family, some of them will believe you. I think Selmar bought what they were selling hook, line & sinker. That’s what made it worse when things didn’t work out in the end for him. No one can change the past, but I hope he doesn’t let it hurt him anymore. Good luck big guy!
Amuary is over-engineering again and building a mitred corner on the deck of the casita mobile home. Why? Because Amuary says it will look 'pretty'. Every time he says it looks 'pretty' Amuary sounds just like his cousin.
Initially, I thought, why waste your time and effort on a giant, over-engineered 'temporary' deck, but then I remembered they're going to be living that mobile home for the next 10 years. Ten years of pissing into the cowfield, smelling the cow dung, and lining up his empty 1664 bottles perfectly straight along the deck railing. Paradise!
Deep breath…. I own a chateau. I’ve been here for many years mostly watching and laughing along with you all, my freinds by proxy. After the usual Easter debacle I thought it would be interesting to some, what is usual for locals here In my corner of South west France. Saturday night started the egg hunt, no child’s game, this started with a few drinks at the Mairie before starting on an epic pub crawl with no pubs. The group turn up at house after house blasting the traditional chanson des parcillions from an old ghetto blaster as the only accordionist JP is at Orléans at the moment. They gather eggs and drink at every house they visit. They got to us at 4.30am and roused us by blasting a hunting horn through the cat flap. My husband sprang into action. I muttered some very bad words and went to sleep. Apparently we hosted a dozen people including our newly elected Maire who was three sheets to the wind. Monday our comité des fêtes made a fabulous 3 course omelette feast with all their spoils for around 300 people. Tuesday we were tipped off was a fabulous casse croûte we have taken advantage of many times before, soup, tête de veau, steak frites, cheese then a digestive for €18. At 9am. And that’s what life is here, marvellous, surprising and nothing like our lives in the UK. It’s been 5 days and counting since we had a night without an unexpected visitor for apéro. All the best bits of life in France she misses! That’s why I stopped watching and why I lost interest in the channel. I kept watching for ages in the way you keep checking in on an old friend hoping she’s sorted herself out but it’s never going to happen. Tant pis pour elle!
I watched the vlog, against my better judgement. At least Fanny did finally acknowledge Selmar's work in the gaaaahden. For a moment, I was going to give her a gold star, but Hugh Grunt made a remark about what an amazing job Fanny did and Fanny made kind of a snarky remark that THEY (meaning Hugh Grunt, Baghead and she) made it happen. Pulease. Hugh Grunt does fork all other than bake bread when he is there and Baghead just paid the utility bills before Fanny started generating revenue from her Patreon and vlogs.
Apparently, there will also be a peacock prison for the very inbred peachicks. Jamie was making the door using the wood Nick milled. Apparently, Fanny had no idea that is where the wood came from. I wonder how much of that wood Amaury has nicked for his new abode, as Fanny would never even notice... After learning this, she seemed very proud the wood came from the Shitoo woods. (To be fair, Fanny would believe OSB board with a Brico sticker came from the Shitoo woods if someone told her it was such.)
The sheep are still alive. Aloysius is still amongst the living and Fanny claims he is getting injections for his arthritis. Whilst that may be, she could at the very least take Galahad to get his nails trimmed.
The only entertaining part was of Hugh Grunt and Hanni intending on having a boat race in the moat, but lacked an oar so made do with a branch, which was ineffective. They actually appeared to be having genuine fun. I'm not going to lie- that is something I would have done. Plus, it isn't Fanny's type of activity, so other than her bringing them a pitcher of Pimm's Cup and sunscreen, she soon lost interest and they were able to float around in peace.
Meanwhile, Fanny emptied out the hundreds of empty porcelain boxes Snorts was to lazy to dispose of and made a big deal about moving the robot vacuum/mop combo whilst Snorts sat on the terrace doing fork all but playing his new victrola records dressed like an 80-year-old man.
FRK is MIA, so Fanny made an omelette for Hanni and herself for dinner and Snorts had leftovers. Potts has promised to- wait for it- make more bread tomorrow. Huzzah.
I wondered if they are on the road again because this is 16 minutes of filler crap. Plus Fanny uploaded it early today, but at the end of the patron vlog Fanny says tomorrow (Thursday) is the first regular B&B weekend of the season.
Begins with Fanny in bed, where she says she always begins her day with a walk in the English withered garden. Fanny spent 2.30 minutes in the garden filming her bush(es). (I skipped through) Definitely filmed on two different days based on Fanny's hair.
Then into the scullery where Fanny demonstrates how she is now saving coffee grounds for FRK to use in the garden. The coffee grounds are kept in a musical F&M tin which rotates so Fanny can start each day with music & coffee. Envision a coffee ground tin playing the piano sounds of a musical ballerina jewel box for a 5-year-old little girl.
Back to bed.... Fanny says "that is pretty much how I start my day, every day, at the shitoo. The only difference being that the weather changes or the state of advancement of the flowers changes, and I couldn't wait to show Dan the difference in the English Garden when he was here, as he came for Easter. This is what happened when Dan came around, and I'm not quite sure I truly understand the meaning of perennial."
So we're back amongst Fanny's bush(es), this time with Dan and his boys. Dan is taking the piss, but ultimately says it looks pretty good.
Back to bed where Fanny is narrating. Next, we're off to visit the chickens. They are shy and don't usually come out into the chicken run unless someone enters the chicken house. Fanny enters, and en queue the chickens head out to the chicken run. Fanny says they are healthy. They keep the food out in the chicken run to entice them outside.
The chickens will be called Blanche Neige (Snow White). Fanny also shows off her cherry (tree).
Back to bed....now we're going to see some of the 'gifts'? Baldilocks received, and some others he ordered himself. There was so much going on over Easter weekend, Fanny didn't have time to share it with everybody.
Fanny & Baldilocks were so busy cleaning & organizing porcelain, but not too busy to open a gift that arrived in the mail from Tom & Anita. Snorty doesn't seem to know who they are either until Fanny says they are from the US. Snorty, "Oh my God. I already have 4 of these, although 1 broke. Very, Very nice." Snorty wanted to put them in situ and show them off right away instead of continuing to clean up.
Back to bed. Fanny says Baldilocks was so busy over Easter he hasn't had time to put the plaques on the decanters. (Based on the amount of booze on tap scattered across the shitoo, they're going to need multiple sets).
Next Snorty is opening a box. Fanny asks if it's porcelain, but Baldilocks says "NO, it's not porcelain", as though it's okay t to buy more crap as long as it's not porcelanwhatever's in the box
Surprise it's books Baldilocks says he purchased on. Baldilocks says the first book only cost $8.00, but ofcourse he doesn't mention how much it cost to ship + import duties. Pages are falling out, but who cares!
Book 2 - which includes Baldilocks fav. chateau - Chateau St. Cloud
Book 3 - Lots of Mr. Know-it-All history & design lectures..... Louis the 15th, was the great grandson was Louis the 14th, because his his father and grandson died before him......blah, blah, blah..... Potty comes in the kitchen and mumbles something - who cares! (bad sound)
Book 4 - this is Baldilock's fav. There may have been more books - hard to tell. He's happy it's written in English so he can understand.
Back to bed.....Fanny is so excited to have time to read those books. I'm so happy to be home at the shitoo right now. Nite, nite my lovelies!
Jeeves said:
Baldrick shows that he can be productive. Look how successfully he's developed his paunch and backside. Now that his jeggings no longer fit, whose jeans is he wearing now? He's certainly piling on the pounds. By the length of his jeans, they might be FRK's. Keep it up Snorty, you'll soon be in Papa Pug's cast offs.
Baldrick shows that he can be productive. Look how successfully he's developed his paunch and backside. Now that his jeggings no longer fit, whose jeans is he wearing now? He's certainly piling on the pounds. By the length of his jeans, they might be FRK's. Keep it up Snorty, you'll soon be in Papa Pug's cast offs.
As you may know, the Puy Vidals are redoing an entire wing of their chateau, to include the kitchen and a smaller catering kitchen, and this! Not a hallway with miscellaneous junk crammed into it, it's their china room!
I'll also add that they started this wing's renovation after the holidays and will be done in a few weeks time. Unlike Stephanie, they DO have a partially listed building and it did not take years for approval or years for the project to complete!
I was inspired by your lovely idea & this beautiful picture of Filth. Here’s a special edition bespoke tile in the style of Skidmark’s pretend upcoming kitchen backsplash. I hope tartlets will use it in their own homes for a kitchen, bathroom or fireplace renovation or as a unique coaster for their fancy Christmas wine. Available here on tattle as a complimentary screenshot or in my Zazzle store for $150,000 / €127,513.05. View attachment 3964056
The jeans on the Castrato on the auction tour.... Well atleast we know what side he//she/they dress.
And how proud the poor bastard is. Baskin in the glow of mummy's approval. F4F being a proud mummy of his brave little "soldier". Somehow you can tell il Castrato had no friends in school and that is why he looks for approval of older people, in this case Fanny.
Explaining the hotel situation abit too much. "We usual stay in Ibis and we love it, but now.... " Guuurl dont piss on my leg and tell me it is raining.
Well well well. Had cataract surgery this mornng. Although my eye is hurting it isn’t half as bad as feasting my eyes on that asshole dragging feather light foot around looking at auctions items and picking up shit. Obnoxious as usual.
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), but I am here to hang out with all of you.
Hugs MrsP
interestingly, Selmar says he was ‘forced’ to take the video down back then. 
, Sascratt and 48 others
garden. Fanny spent 2.30 minutes in the garden filming her bush(es). (I skipped through) Definitely filmed on two different days based on Fanny's hair.
on tap scattered across the shitoo, they're going to need multiple sets).
was repulsive 
…
