The Chateau Diaries #39 The Grifterista Social Club

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries Church Of Stephinology The Grifterista Social Club

Congratulations @Thecheshirecat
Votes: 21 26.6% from vote @thread 37


Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q





Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day

parwhobble' (19th-century English dialect): to dominate a conversation by talking continuously, without listening to a word from anyone else.

'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus



POST OF THE LAST THREAD
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNER @emilyseyo

Thursday at 4:04 PM

• #377

Reading through these threads the past few days has been so cathartic! I discovered chateau vlogs early on in the pandemic and at the time it seemed like just what I needed - so glamorous! so interesting! so different from sitting in an apartment worrying whether I was going to get sick from going to the grocery store! - but I've been slowly losing interest in (and patience with) all of them. Apologies if this is all boring stuff that's been said before, I just wanted to get it off my chest lol.

Doing It Ourselves lost me first, after about five videos they fell flat for me. I don't like all the twee Beatrix Potter stuff, I was there for chateau renovations, and there was something insincere about Michael that made me feel like he was secretly rolling his eyes at the show he was putting on for his adoring fans who all seemed to think he was their sweet wholesome grandson.

CD took longer to get on my nerves, but somewhere around the Chateau Quiz patreon debacle I got really fed up with my fellow patrons, and then that started to extend to the vlog characters themselves. With nearly $30,000 a month coming in why is so little actual necessary work being done instead of vanity projects like making unnecessary apartments for people who are surely happy enough to stay in a nice bedroom in the main chateau? How much china and spare "just in case" furniture does one chateau need, when they just announced they were doing a massive spring clean that would supposedly clear the whole place out? Why was everyone pretending the unappealing curly-haired boytoy was there for anything except to cater to SJ's every whim? Why the big fuss about the boudoir renovation (yawn) and fake surprise that the new chandelier would *gasp* suit that room best? (Does it really, though? Isn't it just going to hang down and block the Wonderful Natural Light she was just trilling about when they knocked down the wall?) Why does she still have that neon pink tape up all around the edges of her bedroom? Don't people get tired of her swanning around filming them and talking over them while they do all the work on her Beautiful Home? Bleh. The whole thing just started to seem so odd and fake and pretentious that now I can barely keep watching.

The cadeaux videos were off-putting from the first, I think I only ever made it through one whole video. Most of the gifts are embarrassingly tacky, do people sending them really believe someone who lives in a chateau in France is actually that thrilled to be sent their TJ Maxx knockoffs?

But then you read the comments on the videos or on Facebook and...yes. Yes, they do believe they're contributing to the "elegant" decor of a historic home.

(Looking back now I should have run about five minutes after I joined the original Tale of Two Chateaux FB group...the woman running it was loopier than a bowl of froot loops and the sycophants discussing everything were even weirder)

Sorry for hijacking the discussion, thanks for letting me vent!


Reactions:JustCommonSense, Mrs O, FancyFace and 53 others

 

[Rory]

Interesting that SJ is off to another chateau. On instagram she is welcoming her first b&b guest. Left to Nati to look after?

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

So the gang is off to another chateau on the chateaudiy website..it looks like Fan Flash is a new member...

Very easy offcourse to run away from your own shittoo with lots of work to do,... to make content, get drunk and fill the days with life, love and laughter..Also a good excuse not to have to show what is really going on at home....literally nothing...no renovations, nothing in the garden, etc...just another delay and make content to keep people on a leash...let the cash flowing in...and nothing having to be spend on renowork..or restauration.......just fill the coffers...no one of her followers is bright enough to see through it...Its just a flying circus through France...grabbing the cash..

 

[purejuice]

Per the appearance of Steve's s****y Lalande logo on Sunday videos, I did dig up the branding for sale program he was hustling on his Decadigitus site.
The first thing he wants to do in your branding program is design you a logo. That's why I shuddered when I saw him presenting SJ with his badly-designed and completely uninformative -- not to mention not easily reproducible/scalable/recognizable in all media -- logo.
But it's just the first in a whole expensive program of branding he wants to sell you.
It's American sleaze meister speech at its very best.

Who he's targeting:
"Those for whom the Internet is a canvas. Bloggers, Vloggers, YouTube sensations, Freelance contributors and anyone wanting to make their mark online. Ensuring that you are taken seriously by the online world requires a strong personal brand that tells people you’re worth listening to. Everyone has an opinion but a well-executed brand will give a sense of authority and confidence to yours. Once established your brand will become a beacon for those who value your perspective."

Next up, Stephanie perfume:
"Truly a Brand that supports itself will allow for the maximum growth with a company's product line – don’t support the product, support the benefit. This will allow for maximum exposure and indicates superior confidence in both the product range and Brand – people who purchase a Brand rather than a product – will carry the message and become disciples."

 

[lalablahblah]

Angle and Dick are doing a few DIY videos for a channel.

 

[Kickintheass]

At one point in the gift grab SJ, MPK and PJ were all sitting at the table together. WHO WAS BEHIND THE CAMERA?

We're off on another junket.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

From @Wee Donkey (previous thread about my post re. Edd and Anna's "bijou chateau" and its location :

"Stay Classy.

I think in one of their early videos, he mentioned they'd bought a run down property, and were hoping to do it up. I think there's a bit of Ed clearing away stuff with a mini-digger. We can't all live in expensive areas, like you. We can't all buy ready-made dream houses.

Love the idea that everyone should have enough for 15 months mortgage, and living expenses 'just in case'.. and on a property like their chateau, a nice sum. Yep, because its so common amongst folks with normal houses.. "

When you buy a house to restore it (you need money to buy AND to restore), you are careful about the surroundings. "Location, location, location".

Who would buy a "run down" (what does this mean really ?) property (a simple Maison de Maitre) in the middle of a soulless and sad suburb near Bordeaux - if they want to sell it later on (because it was their idea since the beginning - I don't believe one minute in the story of a "kind Anna", not to mention him) ?

France is full of nice "properties" (Maisons de Maitre, mansions, manors or castles) located in very nice locations (towns, villages) in very beautiful regions which are not expensive (Lot, Correze, Hérault, Larzac, Anjou, Charentes, etc etc) where you can restore beautiful family houses.

I still think Stephanie was an hypocrite to vlog about it and telling them every 2 minutes how fantastic their property is. She knew perfectly what was the problem with it : not the house itself (full of charm I agree) but the location.

I hope for them that they didn't pay a huge price for it. Or they will be in negative equity.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Interesting that SJ is off to another chateau. On instagram she is welcoming her first b&b guest. Left to Nati to look after?

The B&B she is opening exclusively for fans and Patreon hoping to meet the hostess

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

Angle and Dick are doing a few DIY videos for a channel.

I am sure there's lots to learn.
Like how to plan a project!

 

[Morten]

The B&B she is opening exclusively for fans and Patreon hoping to meet the hostess

It's open for everyone to book, so don't worry

 

[Hemerocallis]

She knew perfectly what was the problem with it : not the house itself (full of charm I agree) but the location.

I hope for them that they didn't pay a huge price for it. Or they will be in negative equity.

I dare to disagree with you. The facade is impression-making, the staircase beautiful, but the rest.... Okay, I don't know in which state they bought it but he is renovating it to death, plasterboard all over, where are "the old features" he mentions ? Newly purchased plaster rosettes and probably no mouldings on the edges of the ceilings (plaster frieze?). Subway tiling in the bathrooms looking like public toilets......

Yes, "charm" as a real estate agent would call it "cette proprieté pleine de cachet" blablabla

 

[FrenchGirl123]

I dare to disagree with you. The facade is impression-making, the staircase beautiful, but the rest.... Okay, I don't know in which state they bought it but he is renovating it to death, plasterboard all over, where are "the old features" he mentions ? Newly purchased plaster rosettes and probably no mouldings on the edges of the ceilings (plaster frieze?). Subway tiling in the bathrooms looking like public toilets......

Yes, "charm" as a real estate agent would call it "cette proprieté pleine de cachet" blablabla

I agree with you. I meant the house is full of charm at the origin (doors, paneling, stairs etc) without the "renovations" they are doing in it.
I understand they are building a sort of a extension on the side of it ? Not good for the symetrie of the building IMO.

The B&B she is opening exclusively for fans and Patreon hoping to meet the hostess

Do they come from UK ? What about the new rules re. mandatory quarantine ?

Will they be stuck to their bedroom (chambre Bonne Maman or Chambre de Roger ?) in Lalande for 7 days with the gendarmes (police) visiting them and no Chatelaine to entertain them ?



Premiere in... 10 hours !!

Is it normal for vloggers to schedule their premieres so long in advance ?


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Indiana Davy finds the Lost Tower of Lalande and heroic Philip saves a Lalander on a day of manly exploits at the chateau...

 

[Espe]

If I worked there as a staff member or volunteer, I'd be furious if the owner went off on an unnecessary trip with her faithful "assistant" and left everyone else to run the place with guests arriving!

 

[Gibson]

From @Wee Donkey (previous thread about my post re. Edd and Anna's "bijou chateau" and its location :

"Stay Classy.

I think in one of their early videos, he mentioned they'd bought a run down property, and were hoping to do it up. I think there's a bit of Ed clearing away stuff with a mini-digger. We can't all live in expensive areas, like you. We can't all buy ready-made dream houses.

Love the idea that everyone should have enough for 15 months mortgage, and living expenses 'just in case'.. and on a property like their chateau, a nice sum. Yep, because its so common amongst folks with normal houses.. "

When you buy a house to restore it (you need money to buy AND to restore), you are careful about the surroundings. "Location, location, location".

Who would buy a "run down" (what does this mean really ?) property (a simple Maison de Maitre) in the middle of a soulless and sad suburb near Bordeaux - if they want to sell it later on (because it was their idea since the beginning - I don't believe one minute in the story of a "kind Anna", not to mention him) ?

France is full of nice "properties" (Maisons de Maitre, mansions, manors or castles) located in very nice locations (towns, villages) in very beautiful regions which are not expensive (Lot, Correze, Hérault, Larzac, Anjou, Charentes, etc etc) where you can restore beautiful family houses.

I still think Stephanie was an hypocrite to vlog about it and telling them every 2 minutes how fantastic their property is. She knew perfectly what was the problem with it : not the house itself (full of charm I agree) but the location.

I hope for them that they didn't pay a huge price for it. Or they will be in negative equity.

Anna and Karen from Chateaulaperriere (the one they sold due to Covid etc) have teamed up together to run a dream French properties Instagram account.
I think Anna has her head screwed on as does Karen. She doesn't seem anyone's fool and they're looking at many avenues.
Personally I think it is a business venture. She certainly isn't afraid of hard graft and neither is Ed, so I will watch with interest.

Like everything it's the luck of the draw with property. Some you think would make a good profit don't and others do.

Interesting that SJ is off to another chateau. On instagram she is welcoming her first b&b guest. Left to Nati to look after?

Poor sods! I would hate to be a B&B guest there.

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

I am sure there's lots to learn.
Like how to plan a project!

The technique she’s using to recover the chair is making me cringe! It has a lovely rush seating underneath it!

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

The technique she’s using to recover the chair is making me cringe! It has a lovely rush seating underneath it!

I saw that, too, made me wonder if this is necessary. Also to cover the carvings with paint. But then, it's got to Shabby Chic, non?

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

The technique she’s using to recover the chair is making me cringe! It has a lovely rush seating underneath it!

I saw that, too, made me wonder if this is necessary. Also to cover the carvings with paint. But then, it's got to Shabby Chic, non?

It is mainly to promote Homebase’s range of chalk paint ( and maybe staple guns I expect). Good way to raise funds for the chateau without grifting I suppose . I like them as a couple and ETTC.

 

[Rory]

Anyone booking into bnb surely would be someone who follows SJ. How disappointing for them SJ won't be there.

 

[The Cheshire Cat]

Sorry just catching up. Honoured to have my thread title chosen. Thank you very much!

 

[Hemerocallis]

The technique she’s using to recover the chair is making me cringe! It has a lovely rush seating underneath it!

Me too, so much nicer than her fabric covered seat. I would never use fabric covered seats in a kitchen (with children) and certainly not such a light-coloured fabric. If you wear blue jeans, the fabric might be discoloured blueishly.